Finding Compassion For Those Who Hate

When you put yourself out there, share your heart and voice with the world, there will inevitably be those who love you, those who hate you and those who just don’t care. Being on the spiritual path, I find this to be an excellent teacher and a perfect ego grinder, because whatever people think of me, it does not matter. Of course, my ego says, I would love everyone to like me. But I have no control over what people think and do, or how people judge. I can only do my best, love as best I can and humbly continue to open to each moment and learn the lessons each one brings. In the end, what matters most is my relationship with the divine, which affects how I treat others and myself. What is essential, lasting and true is that I practice seeing the divine in all, even in those who may not like me.

It is hard to understand the motivation of hate, but in essence, we all have the capacity for it. No one is immune to its seduction. When I am lucidly honest with myself, I can openly say that I have felt it rise in me and take me over. I have felt its burn singe my heart. I have fallen into the indulging thrill and delusional self-importance that it conveniently provides. I have felt pumped up, important and proud through it. And I have also felt immensely alone and in pain because of it.

It is hard when we fall out with someone we once called a friend. It is extra hard to see someone close turn into someone who expresses hatred toward us. Hopefully, we do our best to understand each other, talk about the misunderstandings, heal, make amends and return to love. But without both parties being willing to return to a place of humility, little healing can take place. Walls are built, misunderstandings grow and pain festers. Whether friends or strangers, people who do not like us are still our valuable teachers. They teach us what Amma asks us to embody: “Progress is being made when you can retain evenness of mind in the face of praise and shame, honor and dishonor.”

I recall an encounter that reminds me of this. As I watched spiteful venom come my way from people I had considered friends, I had to take pause and witness the propulsion of pain. I noticed that I did not feel hatred towards them. After I worked through my initial shock and hurt at meeting this kind of dark energy, I found myself watching others hold onto their pain as they seemed to wish it upon others. I noticed that ultimately, it seemed they just wanted to feel loved, but were going about it in an upside-down manner. They were indirectly asking for love through hate, which simultaneously was pushing love away.

In that moment, I understood their suffering. By holding onto and identifying with their pain, the people they were hurting most was themselves. Amma says, “When you harm anyone, you harm everyone, especially your own self.” It was clear they were just in pain, and no amount of painful thoughts from me projected their way was going to help them, or me. I did not want to add more pain to the fabulous job they were already doing to themselves.

Amma advises, “Communication begins when you fully understand the other person's point of view.” What was the other people’s point of view? They were hurting and felt I was the source of that hurt. No apology was helping, no reaching out was received, no healing was of interest. They seemed attached to feeling “right”, hard done by, and wanted to hold onto their sense of hurt. With one party unwilling, there could be no discussion. So their pain continued. But I did not need to hold on. So I walked away and still wish them well. Amma says, “If you cannot speak with love and respect, wait until you can.” In the case of haters, the best option is silence.

The exchange was ultimately a gift, another piece along my path. Whether I am at the top of the electronic charts (where I now have been for many weeks, thank you for your generous support!) or whether people love or hate me, I cannot rest my happiness on other’s opinions. My job is to love, understand and serve each moment as best I can with a sense of receptivity to what it brings.

The deeper gift in that exchange for me is found in Amma’s wise words: “If someone is doing something that you find really offensive, check to see whether you are doing something similar to someone else or to yourself.” People who direct ill will our way can be divine mirrors to ways we may be relating to others or ourselves. In my case, I was reminded of how hard I am on myself, which I have been in the midst of seeing more clearly these past months. I don’t always speak to myself with kindness. I don’t always treat myself with love. I don’t always offer myself compassionate understanding. I can allow my self-confidence to be undermined by an old habit of self-doubt. Through that exchange, further contents of my psyche were stirred for me to see and ultimately release. So thank you, even to those who hate me, because you bring me back to the divine and teach me to love.

This day opens with a clear intention to continue to practice feeling ok being me, regardless of what others think. Because ultimately, I will only love others as well as I love myself. Amma says, “Don't just apologize for hurting someone; make the firm resolve that you will never again do that painful act to anyone.” So my sincere prayer is to continue to learn to care for, befriend, honour, love and be gentle with myself. May I have a rich relationship with the divine and may this inform a loving relationship with self and all beings.

When my grandmother was on her deathbed, I asked her what was the meaning of life. She said to me so wisely: “It is all about being yourself. It is so simple, most people miss it.” I can miss it, get caught up in thinking I “should” be/do/think/act in some other way than what feels most relaxed and myself. My true nature is love. So I learn to relax more deeply into trusting that divine truth. I go continue to allow it to flower within me and simply be, no second-guessing. Trust the arising.

The divine love that Amma shows us is within us all. It is our true nature. The rest is just temporary clouds passing through the pure and vast sky. Sometimes the clouds are dark thunderclouds, like when we meet the energy of hatred. But that has no real lasting power. Pain is perpetuated when we hold on and won’t come back to the reality that our true nature is love. I cannot make someone who is attached to pain treat me with love and respect. But I can love and respect myself and learn to treat everyone that way, without condition. That will bring me the joy and lasting happiness I seek and create the best offering I can bring to the world.

May we all know our divine nature and love!

Jai Ma,

Parvati

Beating Myself Black And Blue

From Self-Betrayal To Self-Love: Steadiness and Gratitude On The Path 
Part 1: Beating Myself Black And Blue

A couple of weeks ago, I watched myself react dramatically when I felt I had made a mistake. It was not a big thing, but I made it into one. The situation triggered me. I became so angry with myself and felt like a failure. I dove into the deep end of beating myself up, talking to myself with such aggressive criticism that inwardly, I was turning myself black and blue.

I reached out to my partner for help. But he did not stand a chance to get through to me, faced with my attachment to auto-destruct. So then I reacted and blamed him for not giving me what I wanted. Ultimately, I was hell-bent on feeling that everything in this moment, including me, was not good enough. I was so attached to feeling this way that I even cleverly used my partner’s response to me to fuel how I was feeling. So I felt worse. Now I was not only feeling not good enough; I also felt alone.

Then I remembered something my spiritual teacher Amma teaches. The words rang in my being as though a meditation bell had been struck within my soul:

“Progress is being made when you maintain evenness of mind in the face of praise and shame, honour and dishonour.”

The message was crystal clear. I, who aspire to live a conscious life, was in no even state of mind! A cold bucket of water had just been splashed over my hot head. Immediately I asked myself what turn in the road I had taken that had led me to this painful place. I sat myself down, took a quiet moment, and went within to find out.

What came to mind were some of the people I had met over the years who had lashed out at me or others in their own suffering. Interestingly, my overt reactivity reminded me of them. I have seen people be so hard on themselves, then explode and blame others for their misery. And here I was, not really being all that different. I was being so hard on myself, then imploding and hurting myself.

It reminded me that I had recently read a tweet by a modern spiritual author that said something like, the universe will sweep away all your character defects. I replied to the tweet (though I never heard back), to the effect that sometimes the universe exacerbates our negative tendencies so we can see them and choose to let them go. This was clearly what was happening through the consequences of my self-judging mood. I was being given an opportunity to look at my shadow more closely.

Next week, I would like to share a revelation that has come to me through this experience. Please join me here again next Sunday.

 

A Light Goes Home: Thank You, Debbie Ford

Years ago, I was beginning to notice a pattern in my life: I was attracting people who often left me feeling depleted. I knew it was a pattern, but I did not know what the pattern was trying to teach me about myself.

During my quest to find insights into this pattern, I went to a local bookstore where I came across Debbie Ford’s book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. I instantly bought it, went home, tucked myself in and started to read. What followed was an opening of an inner window that had long been forgotten. Debbie’s kindness and care leapt off the pages and gave me the courage to enter into a new realm of self-understanding.

As a child I was taught, perhaps like many, to break up my world into “good” and “bad”. I wanted the world to only see my “good”, and learned to shove, like we tend to do, those things I judged as “bad” somewhere into the recesses of my being. Yet from the power they gained stored away in the dark, those severed places continued to wreak havoc in my life. The disowned parts of me needed attention and integration in order for me to learn to become whole. It was not until I began, with self-love and humility, to welcome these forgotten places into my heart, that I began to truly grow.

Following my first encounter with Debbie Ford, I have found comfort and guidance in her subsequent offerings. Always honest, wise and compassionate in the way that can only come from someone who is walking their talk, Debbie has been a partner to many of my personal inner adventures. If you have been reading along on my blog, you may remember that I referred to Debbie Ford's book "The Right Questions" in a 2012 blog entry about fulfilling your heart's desires.

I grew even more fond of Debbie Ford when I noticed in "The Right Questions" that she thanks my guru, Amma, and speaks of her as "an amazing teacher and a living example of service".

As one who is devoted to consciousness through art, I also appreciated knowing that Debbie’s work has spread to support others with a powerful, international voice, such as Alanis Morissette, who openly refers to their friendship and whose name comes up in Debbie’s books.

On February 17, 2013, Debbie Ford passed away due to cancer. She will be greatly missed by the thousands of people she has touched and inspired to live their best life with her groundbreaking work on the human shadow. I will miss her wisdom and compassionate offerings. Yet I take comfort in the legacy that she leaves behind, work that in essence is never really done, because we are constantly growing, until our inner light, like hers, returns home to rest in lasting peace.

In addition to her body of work, she leaves behind The Collective Heart Foundation in partnership with the Just Like My Child Foundation, offering important programs to help women and children.
If you feel so moved, there is a beautiful page to post your personal memories and stories about Debbie at RememberingDebbieFord.com. 



And if you have never yet had the joy of meeting Debbie, here is a great video introducing you to her, from her website:

With love and gratitude to you, Debbie.
May your light shine on.

Lokah samastha sukhino bhavantu.

Jai Ma,
Parvati 

The Making of "YIN: Yoga in the Nightclub"

Hello Friends,

 

Typically, the week of a Parvati Magazine launch, I don’t write a blog entry. But I have been a bit delinquent with my entries to you. So despite the latest issue of Parvati Magazine being now live – go check it out!! – I wanted to share a bit of my heart and my creative process over the last couple of months with you here.

 

As you know, I have been immersed in the world of sound, creating my album “YIN: Yoga In the Nightclub”, which I hope you have had a chance to listen to, and perhaps enjoy as much as I do. If not, please take a listen to it at Yoga in the Nightclub.

 

As I wrote, engineered, produced, arranged and mixed the tracks (and the mix polish process with the talented sound engineer Carl Gardiner in the U.K.), I was literally brought to my knees again and again. There was something powerfully different about this particular album for me. 

 

At first, I thought, perhaps it was the short window of time I had to create it. But that did not feel right. Then my audio engineer friend Carl suggested that perhaps it was the typical ‘second album angst’ that seems to plague most bands and artists. But that also did not seem to really describe what I was experiencing.

 

Then I realized that literally a year ago from the time I was producing the album, I was flat out in bed, in agony, with a severe spinal injury. At that time, I was undergoing a deep spiritual transformation, one that required profound surrender and trust like I had never had before. From that injury, as I have shared with you, my whole world changed. 

 

From the onset, I knew I was creating a series of songs as a nod to the yoga community that shared my love for yoga and the Divine. But doing so at that particular time seemed to channel into this musical work much of the spiritual energy and the fruits of my inner transformation that I experienced during my injury. 

 

In addition, I had never recorded myself chanting in Sanskrit. Sanskrit is a vibrational language geared to invoke states of consciousness through sound. So repeating phrases over and over through the recording process was, in the unseen realm, stirring up my inner consciousness pot, rearranging cells, and moving me deeply.

 

In addition to being face to face with the power of the inner experience I had through my injury and the power of Sanskrit, the entire album was fueled by the depth of my love for my guru, Amma, and the devotion I have to Her and the spiritual path. Cooked to the core through this recording process, I repeatedly met my ego that kept surfacing saying “I can’t”. It kept wondering how something as large as these expressions could come through this tiny body, this finite time and space, ultimately, this “little old me”. 

 

The answer eventually embedded itself into my being deeper than ever before: “get out of the way – you are not the doer.” I relied heavily on the knowing that reality is plastic and that nothing in this world is fixed, despite the ego wanting to think it being so. So I focused on being an instrument, as best I could, and on just taking orders from the unseen.

 

Through the creation of the album, I worked very diligently with my music production soil-less garden. No, I was not tending to plants. A soil-less garden is indeed a garden without soil or any ground and works with Nature’s Devas and the unseen realms on a creative project. It is a very powerful process that I recommend to anyone. You can read about it at the Perelandra website that says:

 

“A soil-less garden is how you apply the principles of co-creative science to every aspect of your life: business, education, the arts, the home, research, your job, personal and professional projects and goals... all those gardens in life that are not rooted in soil. It's how you work with nature to achieve any goal you wish with extraordinary efficiency and balance.”

 

So for hours a day, I was in my soil-less garden coning (a particular energetic configuration of Nature Devas and Cosmic Intelligence) to expand my consciousness so that I could access and download (for lack of a better term) sonic information that would best express what I was called to share. At worst, I felt like I was taking dictation. At best, I was dancing with the Divine through sound. It was an exhilarating creating process. 

 

As you know, the album, with its songs to the Divine Mother, was aptly launched on Mother’s Day weekend. Thanks again to those who attended. I was so glad to see you all! Since the launch, I have tweaked the music, adjusted sets, made costume fixes, redesigned lighting… generally polished the show. I am on tour through the US right through to the first week of August. I will be sleeping out of a van for the next few months, but updating this blog with photos and captions from the journey. I look forward to sharing it all with you. 

 

Just like when I went to the North Pole, I felt I was going with you all. So too, I feel we are all connected, so what I do, I do with you, and wherever you are, I am there too, as you are with me. Space and time are plastic, stretchable expressions of our heart’s focus and divine alignment. As I sing in my song “Shanti”, “we are one earth family”. Yes, we are!

 

If you have not yet picked up your copy of the album, you can get it exclusively at the Positive Possibilities store, in biodegradable packaging or in mp3 format. Your support is immensely appreciated! A percentage goes to Embracing the World.

 

Much peace, gratitude and joy to you!

Jai Ma!

Parvati

 

 

 

A World of Sound, The Voice of the Divine

Hello Friends,

As you may know, I am in the thick of the creative process finalizing my new album. This album is a nod of gratitude to the yoga community for the support I have received over the years, and of recognition of my deep spiritual roots there. The album uses my independent hit single "Yoga In the Nightclub" as a point of departure. The album includes traditional Sanskrit chants, original pop songs, anthemic dance tracks and expansive, spacious soundscapes that allow listeners to rest in the lap of the Divine.

The creative theme for the album is "Songs to the Divine Mother", an expression of gratitude to my guru Amma. The release party is fittingly on Mother's Day weekend, at 8pm on Friday May 11 at the Yoga Sanctuary at 2 College Street (at Yonge). All ages are welcome, and kids under 6 are free. Advance tickets are available at my online store Positive Possibilities. There will be an early bird special, so make sure you order yours early. Full details will be on my websites soon. I hope to see you all there!

I feel like I am in a creative cave as I create sounds to produce songs in my music studio. For me, it is a fully engrossing process. A friend from Montreal is in from Toronto and asked me to come to his event this weekend. I would have loved to go, but said that if I were around people, I would open my mouth and symphonic sounds would emerge rather than words. I am in the world of sound!

(In case you are looking for something inspiring to do on a rainy Toronto Sunday, his event is the launch of RISE Kombucha at the Green Living Show April 13-15, booth #1830, at Direct Energy Centre, Exhibition Place, 100 Princess Blvd.)

The creative process is all consuming. My partner's cell phone went off yesterday, and I found myself mesmerized by the sparkling sounds. I paused for a moment. Uh oh. I am in really deep! So I went for a walk in the local ravine to refresh my ears from the intensely focused sonic work. The outside world was also just a world of sound to me.

As I do my daily meditation practice through this intensely creative process, I hear the sound of my breath and the sound of my heart. I can sense the sounds of my cells receiving the oxygen from the breath and the blood flow. I sense the sounds within life, pulsing with vibrancy.

To me, the creative process is like a party with the Divine, witnessing a force unfold and move through that is so much greater than the ego. It is a mystical process, because at its core it is a mystery wrapped in awe and received in humility.

Today, I suggest that you may wish to open your ears and being to the worlds of sound both within and without. We think of sound as frequencies we hear with our physical ears. But there are also unstruck sounds, frequencies that are subtle yet still can be sensed.

For example, we hear the thoughts that pass through our head, that inner chatter. But there is no object that is vibrating to create that sound frequency. Yet we can hear this chatter.

The voice of the Divine is like this to me, everywhere, in all things, pulsing, flowing, alive. When we learn to listen, life is resonant with an orchestral vibrancy that is nothing short of awesome. The power of this sound draws us to stillness and lets us dissolve into the depths of profound silence. Open your ears, open your heart, open your body, open your mind and listen to the wondrous sounds of Life itself.

Until next week,

Jai Ma,
Parvati

Yoga Scandals, Light Chasers and Shadow Boxers - Part 2: The Light of the Satguru

(Continued from Duality and Denial)

The ancient Sanskrit word "guru" comes from two root words "gu" (darkness) and "ru" (removal of such). The classical Hindu text called the Guru Gita refers to the meaning of the word "guru" as being the one who leads us from the darkness of ignorance to the true light of pure consciousness. How easy it is for our limited ego-mind to project a wish for such liberation upon a human being who is not fully realized, and as such, cannot support our spiritual journey through its perils and promises. Because of our projections, we end up disappointed, feeling misled, coming to believe that the word "guru" refers to one who abuses power or behaves scandalously.

 

A Satguru, however ("sat" in Sanskrit meaning true), refers to a fully awakened master. The Guru Gita says that a true guru is one who is neither bound by his senses nor limited by form, as "gu" refers to "beyond the qualities" and "ru" to "devoid of form". Anyone who truly seeks true guidance on the spiritual path must be sure that the person in whom they place their trust in is indeed a fully awakened master. We are taught through sacred texts that those who are fully realized are those who love all beings equally and see all beings equally. In the case of the vast majority of us, we easily fall short of those very crucial qualifications. These qualities are indeed very rare.

 

Though I would love to see fully realized masters fill up every football stadium across the globe, those beings are not drawn to the limelight for its own sake, but quietly live their lives in humble service to humanity wherever they may be and in whatever way they may best serve. Crowds may draw, but that is not their motive. I am so grateful to realized masters like Amma and the Dalai Lama who do happen to draw very large crowds, and are also willing to give private audience to their devotees. Luckily, as well, we live in an age where football stadiums are filled with conscious bands like U2, who are able to awaken the notion of possibility, hope, social responsibility and love in audience members so that they may taste the ambrosia of eternal spiritual truths that exist beyond temporal luminosity. That is certainly why, as a dedicated yoga teacher and musician, I create music, tour and perform to share the joy of being alive.

 

We must ask ourselves, if a realized master were to shine his or her full, radiant light, would we find it too bright? The light of a realized master is not one that eclipses our shadow, but that sheds light onto the totality of who we are, so that we must learn to embrace our entire being, including our darker, uncomfortable and painful places. Can you imagine being invited to a football stadium not for a shiny, entertaining pastime, but to be in the light of truth so that we may integrate our shadow? Ticket sales would be abysmal. We want to believe in our sugar-coated superstars so that our pain, for a moment, falls away.

 

If we are true aspiring yogis, we will see ourselves in the journalists who cannot allow themselves to believe in the eternal light because they are so attached to their pain. We too have that tendency, active or not. We can then have compassion for those who write cynical articles and put down light seekers because their cynicism is simply the other side of the light seeker's coin - both naive and in denial. The cynics have sunk into their shadows, while the light seekers levitate above theirs.

 

Though I am saddened by these reporters' cynicism and lack of understanding of yoga's exquisite beauty, I understand that we are, after all, in Kali Yuga, a time of profound ignorance and darkness. But in the face of this, I see opportunity. I hold in the light of my heart that those reporters and those who are the subject of scandals may believe in their own inner beauty and human potential, which clearly they have forgotten. The reporters have chosen to doubt their own light by dismissing the eternal light that can be shared even by flawed and finite teachers. The teachers may have bought into the sparkle of fool's gold while conveniently forgetting to notice the mud with which it came. It is easy to get stuck judging the shape and size of the window dressing, forgetting that what is essential is the wisdom that comes through the window.

 

Any good yoga teacher will know that they are not the doers, but a humble vehicle for an ancient, brilliant and wise-beyond-words message of love and interconnection that comes through them - but is not about them. The message of yoga is about a profound intelligence that exists within all things, through all things, all the time. It inspires hope and compassion as we meet the fullness of our lives with true courage - the good, the bad and the ugly… all of it. We all make mistakes. We are all flawed, finite beings. We are also infinite, divine beings of eternal light. As yogis, we need to stay within the apparent "union of opposites" in order to be true yogic aspirants, so that we may eventually embrace both the light and the dark and transcend duality to become "Yoga", that is, the eternal light of pure consciousness that is our true nature.

Epilogue: What Does It Mean To Be Happy?

THANK YOU!

A really big heartfelt thank you for all the amazing feedback I received this week from those who were sincerely and deeply touched by my experience this past year, and those who were touched by my blog entries this past week called The Miracle of Nature’s Healing. Many of you shared your similar experiences as the tsunami hit Japan and as the Earth changes. What Grace that we all walk this Earth together, both similar and unique, and all seeking love and desiring fulfillment in our own way. It is to me as though we are each a ray of light from a brilliant rainbow, important in our contribution and one within the whole.

When we open to each other, we connect and we feel the love we ultimately seek. Because of this, I encourage you as we move forward on this blog site to post more comments on this page so that we may develop this community of like-minded people. I can guarantee from all the feedback I am getting, that you are by far not alone in what you are going through. So let us help each other and grow together here.

I would also like to hear from you as to what you may need from me so that I may best serve you. It is my pleasure to be of service, so please let me know in which way I can best do that for you. I am preparing something new for this blog, however, I am always open to your input and ideas.

Today I write one last hoorah for Ask Parvati, which to me is more of an epilogue than a full entry. The person’s question was lost in cyberspace over the last couple of months and just came to my attention. So as a thank you for the submission, I wanted to answer it here.

On February 17, the new issue of Parvati Magazine will be published. So next weekend, you will have all the time you need to sift through the quality articles by a bunch of my friends.

The week following will be the first publication of the new material for this blog.

Thank you so much for your continued support and readership. I look forward to growing with you.

Enjoy,

Parvati

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HAPPY?

Dear Parvati,

Lately I have been considering what it means to be happy. For me it means pure vision and self-awareness in the literal sense of emptiness. But I'm still meditating on that. Just a thought. I would love to hear your answer to that question. Thanks.

I love this question, and what a wonderful epilogue for Ask Parvati. Is it not that we all ask this question, and are all seeking happiness in our own way? It is sort of the quintessential spiritual question that we would ask great masters like His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the Buddha or Amma. To honour the greats, I have shared some quotes that touch me and hopefully will inspire you as well.

But before I get into those, I would like to say that to me, happiness is not the same as bliss, unconditional love and peace. I think that most people really are more likely seeking these than happiness. Think about it. Would you not rather be in a permanent state of bliss, feeling eternally loved, rather than happy now, and perhaps sad later? When I hear the word happiness, I think of the temporal. When we are happy, we eventually become sad. But when we rest in the infinite, we rest in a state of permanent bliss. (I will let you know when I “get there”. :) )

Until such time, I practice the release of wanting to find happiness “out there”, and develop the internal quality of contentedness, which relates to non-resistance to what is. Through contentedness, I learn to remain in balanced equanimity, a steadiness of mind and of heart, which is not swayed by the ever-changing moods of the mind, the ego and individual will. Rather than being like flotsam shuffled about on ever changing tides, we become more like a quiet oak tree that is rooted in a loving, co-creative relationship with ourselves and the Earth, while our flexible branches and leaves can easily sway in the wind.

The roots of the tree are like our internal practice of faith and letting go, the knowing that we are part of a much greater whole than our limited ego or will. In this, we keep a big picture, and don’t get stuck on taking ourselves too seriously, should we feel life bristle up against us. Laughing is a really good thing! There is a reason that it is called en-LIGHT-enment and not en-heavy-ment!

The branches of the oak are like an open, clear mind that focuses on the space between things, so that there is lots of room for life to flow through, being moved by and dancing with life, but not getting swept up and carried away and falling off center.

You mention in this question that happiness relates to pure vision and self-awareness as it relates to emptiness. I agree that true contentedness comes when we are not attached, so that we may eventually experience lasting bliss. I also agree that self-awareness and a pure vision help us see our attachments and ultimately let them go. So developing pure vision and self-awareness are a part of cultivating lasting bliss.

When we become so passionate about (either by absolutely loving or absolutely hating) people, places and things, we lose sight of the whole. We become overly attached and make things into gods. We inevitably suffer. Happiness comes and goes as do all emotional states. But contentedness has the sweet fragrance of a radiant flower that is rooted and nourished. It quietly shines and is at peace with itself. It does not seek. It does not want. It is.

So perhaps, rather than seeking happiness, cultivate the state of contentedness as you practice non-resistance to what is. This moment is perfect, holding within it all the happiness we could ever want, and then some.

Here are some of my favourite happiness quotes that may help to inspire you living a life rooted in contentedness as you cultivate a life of permanent bliss:

“Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

Henry David Thoreau, American author, poet and philosopher

“When all your desires are distilled, you will cast just two votes:
To love more, And be happy.”

Hafiz, Persian lyric poet (read a review of Hafiz's poetry in Parvati Magazine)

“We can travel a long way and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. It is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home.”

“As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life -- delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay -- I hold this question as a guiding light: "What do I really need right now to be happy?" What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.”

Sharon Salzberg, author, Buddhist meditation teacher, co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society, Massachusetts

“The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.”

Victor Hugo, French poet, playwright, novelist, essayist, visual artist, statesman and human rights activist

"A spiritual person finds happiness in being loving and compassionate towards everyone, even towards those who are against him. He is like a tree that gives shade even to those who are in the act of cutting it down."

Amma, Mata Amṛitanandamayi Devi

“It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Dalai Lama, Tibetan Buddhist spiritual leader

Ask Parvati Finale: The Miracle of Nature's Healing - Part 5: Everything Must Die To Be Reborn

(Continued from “My Own Tsunami”)

 

What followed was a rearranging of everything I knew. On one level, I call the injury “karma fast forward”, where I was challenged to let go of that which no longer served and had to learn to absolutely trust a higher power for everything. When you realize that you may never walk again, may never even do the simplest things that we take for granted, your ego crashes and dies while something else is born. For me, what was being born was whatever that whale wanted me to become. It was all about the whale.

 

For those few months that I was immobilized in bed, I felt like the whale was taking over. I saw a blue light almost constantly, like a sphere that hovered over things, around things and within my inner eye as I closed my eyelids. I was being held by a blue bubble of light.

 

When I first realized I could not move my legs, I inwardly dove down, with my inner eye, to the root of my spine, and took a look there. I knew that whatever was preventing me from walking was at the base of my spine. My spine somehow had broken.

 

What I saw at my root was a whale, almost dead, with a heart rate I could only describe as nearly flatlining. My relationship with the whale, and its rhythm, guided my healing and all the work with the biodynamic osteopath who cared for me with unsurpassed skill and attention. All I knew is that to fully heal, whatever that meant, I needed to completely surrender to the intelligence within that whale and let it consume me.

 

As my healing progressed, I felt like that blue light, and the body of that whale, was moving up my legs towards my head. As the blue light progressed upward, I was able to wiggle my toes, then my ankles, then my legs. After a couple of months, as the light fully consumed me, I was able to roll slowly over onto my side, then my stomach. This took weeks of intensive meditative surrender and absolute trust in the higher consciousness beyond my ego. I knew nothing of what was happening, yet I knew exactly what was happening. I felt a oneness with something so much greater than “me”.  All I knew was THAT was all I needed to know. I might never walk again, but whatever was happening was totally OK.

 

With immense faith in pure consciousness and the power of that consciousness to heal, I let go. I was being challenged to surrender with absolute trust to the force of life that unconditionally loves and supports my highest good.

 

Through my healing, I also actively worked with a system called MAP: Medical Assistance Program, created by Machaelle Small Wright. It instructs us how to co-create with Nature Spirits, the Devic Realm and a group from the Cosmic Intelligence to assist and amplify our healing progress. I had been working with my MAP group for years. Now that working relationship was being taken to a whole new level.

 

As I connected to these unseen energies, I could feel that I was tapping into the very fabric of life, the vibrant intelligence that co-creates to manifest form, that weaves together the seen and unseen. I could feel Nature’s overwhelming sense of receptivity to my willingness to participate in the dance of life. It is staggering that we have at our disposal a resource of such power, all the while, Nature compassionately and patiently waits for our simple willingness to open and go there.

 

Through this process of healing, my body began to express itself as an infant’s would. An inner impulse to roll onto my tummy from my back came spontaneously from within. If ever I “tried” to move in any way, I was subjected to the most mind-altering electric shock treatment you could imagine – one I describe to my friends as “if you slowly cut off my arm, it would be less painful.”

 

The impulse then followed, once on my tummy, to gently press up on my arms and look around. Eventually I was able to press up onto all fours from my tummy. Then it was crawl, then reach up, then stand up, then walk. It was a rebirth. By June 1, 2011, I stood on my feet again for the first time.

 

In the months that followed through the summer of 2011, I had to learn to put one foot in front of the other, in a whole new way. The whale had guided me through a shamanic journey. I went from feeling at first inundated in a cosmic soup, like an ocean of consciousness, when the injury first struck. As the weeks progressed, somehow consciousness was taking a crystalline shape, like salt in the sea. I was part of those crystals. Then I became like a sea creature, like the whale in a fluid oneness with that oceanic purity. Then I became a land creature, like a lion, as I crawled around the floor as a baby would. As I grabbed onto things to pull myself up into standing, I was like a monkey. Then a new human body was born. None of this was anything I could figure out. It was a force so much greater than me. It was growing inside me, like life itself, enveloping me, consuming me, transforming my very cells. I did not understand how it was working. But it was working and that is all that mattered. And there was no bargaining with its omniscient power.

 

By the end of July, I was almost well enough to go see my spiritual teacher Amma, who was visiting from India. Not yet physically able to sit, I was able to lie in the back seat of a car, and then barely walk up to see Her. As She greeted me, I looked into Her eyes and bawled. I could not control my legs or spine. My body was a marionette controlled by a force other then my will. I saw there in the most visceral way that I am literally not the doer. This body is a beautiful and perfect vehicle for Divine Will. My job is to get out of the way and witness. Through my tears, I asked if I ever would dance and perform again. She said yes, "after some time".

 

By the end of October, 2011, I was headlining a festival in Florida, back on stage singing, dancing, in rapturous surrender. It WAS a miracle. And the cherry on top of the miracle, if there can be such a thing, was that the concert I gave was a benefit concert for Amma’s Embracing The World charity. Perfection of perfections.

 

(Continued tomorrow with “Nature’s Perfect Love”)

Ask Parvati 38: Finding Centre in the Busy Day - Part 6: Being With The Guru

Every day I sit in meditation with the intention to simply be present with my guru Amma. I sit quietly, breathing Her name, feeling gratitude, knowing She is there, everywhere, even if I cannot see. Moving deeper into silence, often I can feel Her, as though She is actually in the room. It does not feel like my imagination or a fantasy, which would feel vaporous and ungrounded. Nor does it feel like a mental projection in which I have left my body, wanting to be somewhere other than I am. It feels like the opposite.

 

It seems as I deepen my ability to be present, settling in further still, I find Her. She was always there, only I was unable to see with my five senses. It is as though I become so deeply rooted, vital and expansive that my energy body opens to be in Her physical location, wherever She may be at that time, perhaps in a meditation hall sharing the infinite love She is by receiving thousands of seekers in one sit.

 

At times, I feel Her so close, it is as though I were having Her darshan, held in Her Divine embrace. I can smell Her fragrance, as sweet as a thousand roses. I can see Her white sari disappear into the immense vast oceans of pure, deep space, the play of consciousness.

 

At times, as I sit quietly, present in meditation, I feel that all that is around me, the air, the ethers, all of matter, is She. I am literally breathing Her, the feeling as palpable as physical touch. It is as though a merging occurs, through the breath. Then the feeling of my skin-sheath-body disappears and She is everywhere, everything. All that remains is the sense of this immense space, no me, no them, no later, no before, just an infinite expansive now. In that place, all is perfection.

It is my sincere wish to cultivate purity of heart and mind so that this body/being may be a humble vehicle for Her Divine love and will. The only way I know to cultivate this is to develop single-pointed focus so that I see all I experience as Her teachings reflected back to me. In this, there is an inseparable closeness, a profound trust and ever-deeper sense of surrendered letting go. This life then becomes a repeated turning all towards Her through an engaged, alive, moment-to-moment meditation practice. Any notion of separation is too much to bear. The call to the One is all that remains.

 

With Grace, may we all be filled with the Divine Love of pure consciousness arising.

 

Jai Ma,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 34: The Journey to YEM - Part 4: The Healing Begins

THE HEALING BEGINS

 

(Continued from India: Meeting My Guru (The Doors Blow Open))

During my year in India, I ignorantly approached my desire for spiritual awakening with the fervour of an ambitious young architect. As a consequence, I blew open my psychic field and was challenged to find the balanced link (or yoga) between spirit and matter.

 

Nine months of intense burning fevers and long periods of spiritual bliss fuelled by intensive sadhana (spiritual practice) awoke subtle energies and connected me to "otherness". A neophyte along the path, I thought spirit and matter were separate. I wanted to meet God. And to me, God was "out there". I had been inadvertently telling my body that I no longer needed it, so off I went, higher and higher until a near death experience forced me back.

 

The fever that I had when I landed on Indian soil grew into an array of physical challenges. That, coupled with the intensity of my spiritual practices, culminated in an experience that changed everything. While traveling in the desert in Rajasthan, I collapsed and was brought by an inn-keeper on the back of his motorcycle to a hospital due to high fevers. A bed-ridden patient there, I had the classic NDE (near-death experience), traveled down the tunnel of light that led "to the other side". At the end of the tunnel of light, I was greeted by a group of beings, welcoming me to travel over. I remember vividly what happened next. As I went to merge with them, a voice I can only describe as the voice from the root of my soul said: “I want to live!”

 

Within every ounce of my being, a total redirection occurred. At that moment I very quickly found myself falling down that tube of light, landing into my body and waking up in a hospital bed unsure how I had gotten there. I had no idea whether I was at the hospital for a day, a week or a month. Meeting my guru Amma opened the doors to who I was. This NDE blew the doors wide open to the multiplicity of otherness. Now I see it was all Her anyway.

 

As I have shared in the past, I was a child sensitive to "otherness", skills I suppressed through high school and university. Well, our puny willpower is no match for the force of nature or the evolution of the soul. My natural gifts were now roaring with a vengeance. What followed was a period of extreme bliss and fierce psychic skills housed in a weakened body. Though my spiritual self had never been stronger, I needed to learn to befriend and heal the neglected body. Standing tall at 5'9", I was then barely 105 pounds. I had lost nearly 20 pounds over the year.

 

My year in India ended after I had an intense dream and gut sense that something was wrong at home. Following my instincts, I began the long journey towards my flight back. It took me almost a week to travel from the middle of the Rajasthani desert in northwest India to the southeastern city of Madras, where I would catch the plane back to Toronto. On Canadian soil at the Toronto airport, I was greeted by my father who looked pleased to see me, but also worried. He told me that my grandpa, his father, was in intensive care and was asking for me. My paternal grandfather died a day or so after I visited him in the hospital.

 

Suddenly back in the West, I felt like I had been catapulted from the Middle Ages right into the heart of the twenty-first century, in the space of a few hours on a trans-global flight. I understood that it was now my time to open to my healing. My mind had become quiet though the all-embracing year of intensive meditation practice. My yoga practice was deep, resounding in my cells. I was listening to nature and operating at a rhythm that was different from what I saw in the highways, concrete structures and speeding lights in the West. I needed to integrate the East I had found and loved with the West I was born into. Everything flowed in perfection while I was in India, so surely that same flow, or "golden thread" as I called it, existed in Toronto, or wherever I would be.

 

Stationed temporarily in my parents' home, I got rid of everything I could and slept on the floor. I meditated for hours every day and thought only to be a dedicated spiritual practitioner, create art and sing. These habits still form the foundation of my character and daily practices today.

 

At that time, my psychic senses were so alive that I could not take a bus or sit beside someone as I felt completely overwhelmed. I would know what happened to them when they were six or what would happen at 86. An Ayurvedic doctor said I was like a hi-fi stereo on volume ten. I had sensory overload and my dials were up too high. The psychic doors had blown open. I needed to learn how to turn down the volume and master the lock on the doors.

 

INSIDE OUTSIDE IN

 

The next years were just as full of amazing people, places and teachings as my time in India. The weak health in my body asked me to move my attention inward in a way I had not yet done. I had touched the expansiveness of the cosmos. It was now time to find that same expansion within, rooted in my being. The universe is immense outside, just as much as it is immense within. In fact, I found that the notion of outside and inside were illusions that did not need to confine me. The more rooted in my being I became, the more useful and practical the psychic skills were. Like anything in nature, the more grounded I was, the more broadly sky-bound I could be.

 

It was at this time that I opened a small yoga studio in Montreal and worked as an assistant minister at the United Church of Canada. I found that my awakening had very practical use. My call was to serve. This life clearly was a gift. I had been given a second chance to live. All I needed to do was love.

 

With subtle insight, I found that I could teach yoga and know where people's energies were blocked or stuck. People could call me from the other side of the world and I would know what was ailing them. I learned to walk down the street or take a bus and find a place (or asana) of balance within the whole flow. Life was becoming Yoga.

 

Over the years, my studies deepened and my practice flourished. I studied Chi Kung, Ayurveda, Thai Massage, Shamanic Soul Journeying, Sound Healing, Astrology and Nature Co-Creation. I offered these skills in treating people. My musical career also flourished with much greater meaning. I went deeper and deeper into various forms of yoga such as intensive work within the Iyengar method and completing another teacher training program with Esther Myers of the Vanda Scaravelli lineage. Healing, yoga, meditation, music, life… it all started to flow as part of one greater whole that I understood as Yoga.

 

These years were the formative years for YEM. Just as I listened intensely "out there" to find God, I listened intensely within to find the Divine and be guided. YEM flowered naturally, effortlessly.

 

Out of this vast array of experiences, I grew to see that all things are interconnected in ways our limited mind and senses cannot comprehend. We are not the body, but we temporarily inhabit it and are responsible for its well being. Like a temple for our spiritual practice, the body houses the spirit and also reflects it. It is a temporal housing of the infinite spirit we are. Just like Siva and Shakti, or Yin and Yang, the body and spirit are married, sharing the most exquisite balance.

 

(Continued tomorrow with My Practice Today)

 

Ask Parvati 34: The Journey to YEM - Part 3: India: Meeting My Guru (The Door Blows Open)

INDIA: MEETING MY GURU (THE DOOR BLOWS OPEN)

(Continued from Steps Towards Yoga)

THE CALL

I was only 23, fresh off the plane from Canada. It was my first time in India. Though I felt like I was right side up for the first time in my life, I had no idea what was in store for me. They say the guru appears when the student is ready. I suppose I was ready.

 

A guru is not just a teacher. A guru-disciple bond is a profound relationship, as deep or deeper than marriage. It holds an intimacy within its embrace that speaks to the furthest corners of the soul and carries one through an inner landscape we never knew existed. The body of the guru is not bound by the finite, but extends through time and through all things. At least, so it has been for me.

 

Going to India was a true calling. I told my parents, much to their chagrin, that I was not doing my master in architecture and to not expect me back for five years. I would call when I could. (I now realize how painfully scary that must have been for them!) I was going to the other side of the world fuelled by the deep desire to meet my guru.

 

I knew there was someone "out there" to guide my yoga practice, to help me fulfill my spiritual potential. We have doctors to help heal our physical bodies. We have schools and universities to teach us the ways of the world. The guru is a realized being who has traveled along and completed the spiritual journey. Knowing the pitfalls along the path and understanding the mysteries of the universe, he or she can guide our way home. I did not know what that relationship would look like, but I knew how it would feel.

 

INDIA

 

I flew into Madras greeted by a family member of an architecture classmate. I had never met the middle-aged man before. But since it was in the middle of the night in a strange land, I was very glad he was there to greet me. I arrived in India with a fever, what I attribute to a sort of cabin fever, hardly able to stand the confines of the 18 hour flight. When I felt the energy of the land as I stepped onto the ground, I knew I had come to a place I would call home.

 

India is a land of extremes. It either spits you out or embraces you and never lets you go. It is not a place of niceties. You either love it or hate it.  Within any given moment as you walk through a city of village street, you can see the most exquisite sight you have ever seen and the most horrific scene; you can smell the intoxicating fragrance of fresh cut jasmine flowers right beside piles of debris and fresh excrement. It is raw, in your face and real like no other place I have been. In the West, we tend to hide our shadows under layers of prettiness. In India, the beautiful, the sinister, the painful, the rapturous were all hanging out in plain sight for anyone to see.

 

I celebrated my 23rd birthday at a New Years's party (yes, I am a Dec 31st baby) on a roof top watching young India boys show me how they could moonwalk, Michael Jackson style. It was just a couple days after I had arrived, and I was still feverish. It all felt surreal.

 

A day or so later, I boarded a sweaty, smelly bus for another heroic 18 hour ride to Trivandrum, still further south, where I would then pile into a jeep with at least twelve other people and arrive at my final destination. At the Sivananda ashram just outside of the village Neyyar Dam, Kerela, I would attended my first yoga teacher training program and discover a classical approach to Yoga. I adored the whole program and the experience of daily immersion in the practice and study of Yoga.

 

After the month-long program, I remained in India for nearly a year while I traveled from temple town to ashram, often with sadhus (wandering aesthetics) or other fellow seekers. I spent six months in the South of India, then six in the North, staying in villages and cities and all the spaces in between. With just a small backpack carrying all I needed, and often sleeping outdoors on rooftops under an open sky, I had profound experiences outside the well traveled tourist paths. I learned from Brahmin priests, went to religious festivals, lived with impoverished villagers and lavish city folk; and I met my guru, Amma. My life is marked by BA (before Amma) and AA (after Amma) (rather than a BC and AD). This year changed my life completely.

 

AMMA

 

When I was at the Sivananda ashram, I met two young teenagers, a brother and a sister, who simply glowed. They emanated a light that was notable. I asked them what they were doing to exude such radiance. They knew exactly what I was seeing and simply said, "It is our guru." All I knew was I wanted some of THAT! It was intoxicating. By Grace, they told me that their guru's ashram was very close by.

 

As soon as the teacher training program was complete, I went to Amritapuri and met Amma, also known as the Hugging Saint of Kerala, South India. I now know that what I experienced for the next two months were precious jewels, experiences few had. Today, Amma's presence draws crowds that fill football stadiums as She tours the world. But when I first met Her in 1993, I was just one of a handful of people milling about Her. I did not know how lucky I was. I look back on those times with deep fondness.

 

 

Etched in me forever is the presence in the temple where Her devotees chanted bhajans. The modest, cathedral-like space echoed with a sublime sound that set every cell on fire. The hall walls seemed to dissolve into the ephemeral. They were no longer made of white tile, but liquid light. The atmosphere pulsated with a dewy luminosity that saturated the tropical air. If there were a heaven, I was in it. This was Brindavan.

 

Amma gives blessings, or darshan, in the form of a hug. Hugging, considered audacious for her humble South India upbringing and taboo for an Indian woman of her caste, is a gesture of motherly love. Today, thousands of people gather to receive Amma's darshan all over the world. Then, perhaps 30 or so people would gather about her at any given time. I sat for hours with Amma, immersed in a spiritual presence that seeped into my hungry soul.

 

It is hard to describe a darshan as each one is unique and perfect on so many levels, going to places where the mind cannot explain. I could only recreate the experience with the shortcoming of words, which would never do the experience justice. What I can say of my first darshan is everything stopped and I started to cry, and it did not stop. I cried for days. It just would not stop. I was neither sobbing nor whimpering. The tears were not tears of joy, nor of sorrow. I just cried, and cried more as some form of deep inner release. It was like a dam had broken inside of me and my soul started to flow again along the current of the Divine River of life.

 

For the next weeks, I followed Amma and Her renunciate monks and nuns on rickety buses on bumpy dirt roads through South India as She inaugurated temples and performed pujas (worship) in various spiritual settings. I meditated all I could and immersed myself in Her.

 

THE BOND BEYOND

 

Despite the immensity of the experience, after a couple of months, some itchy part of my brain began to stir. I figured I needed to move on and see other things in India. After all, I came to meet my guru. Surely, in India, there were many such saints. I needed to make sure this Amma was "the" one. I left Amritapuri and went from ashram to ashram, temple town to temple town. Though I met phenomenal people and had life changing experiences, nothing compared to the immensity I felt in Amma's embrace.

 

I would take me nearly ten years to fully accept Amma as my guru. Though there was always a "before and after Amma" since the moment I met Her, I was clearly not yet truly ready to fully say "Yes!" Amma continued to make Her presence known to me through the people I would meet over those years or by a broad array of coincidences that made me realize She was keeping her eye on me. I realize now that part of me needed to erode and soften so that I could receive the Grace of Her presence in my life. My ego wanted to do it on my own.

 

When Amma first came to Toronto, I told my partner that I wanted to go see Her. I told him, that I wanted to go see an Indian woman that I stayed with when I was in India. That was how much the denial of Her presence was for me. It was not until I saw Her immensity through his eyes, that I realized what had gifted my life. After that point, both my partner and I have fully accepted Amma as our guru.

 

The magical year in India blew my soul's doors open. I met Amma. That was everything. I also read books that painted a fuller picture of yoga and the spiritual path, such as Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, the Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. I studied classical yogic texts such as the Hatha Yoga Pradhibika, the Mahabharata, the Yoga Sutras and texts by Iyengar and Sivananda, to name a few.

 

I was only 23, but I felt like I had lived more than most people twice my age. This year changed everything. Though I was immersed for over eight hours a day in yoga, study and meditation, no external action I had taken was the source of any change. It was Amma all along. I realize now that She had called me to India. She had brought those books, people, places and teachers into my life. It is only by the guru's Grace that I am at all. It is only by God's Grace that I have the capacity to evolve, love, think, act, speak, breathe or walk. This year in India created the foundation for my understanding and aspiration to live my whole life dedicated to God, to spiritual truth in service to the magnificence of love. This year showed me that Yoga is everything, everywhere, always.

 

(Continued tomorrow with "The Healing Begins")

Ask Parvati 32: Gratitude, The Action Of Grace - Part 4: Thanking Adversity

PART 4: THANKING ADVERSITY

(Continued from Thanking Illness)

We would all love our lives to flow. Experiencing green lights along our path feels smooth and effortless and can give us a sense of being on path. Yet we all have bumps along the way at some point. We often tend to see adversity through a black and white lens: seeing obstacles and challenges as a sign of failure, or seeing them as some mysterious blessing we yet have to uncover. We can may hope to learn from our mistakes but feel unsure how. We can also believe that there are no mistakes, that all is good, in denial of our responsibility in our happenings. But what if practicing gratitude for what is, shows us something beyond these polarities?

It is my belief that we are constantly supported by a much greater whole while our consciousness goes through a process of refinement. As I explored in my last blog entries on creating our reality, what we experience is a reflection of our thoughts. So if we do not like our life, we need to change our beliefs and refine our state of consciousness.

Many people can take a downer approach and berate their life and inwardly fight what is, in some frustrated effort to change. That kind of judgemental and tense attitude will create suffering. Others may take what I would call a bit more of a denial approach and say that all that happens is ok. What if what happens is a reflection of our thoughts, and is also grace? What if what we experience mirrors back to us our tendencies - and because of that mirror we have the grace to
see it? So, what is, is both a reflection of our distortions, our erroneous perceptions, and a reflection of the love that there is for us throughout the universe. If we see what is through the lens of gratitude, we can see that we are both learning and fully supported.

When we have this grateful attitude in each moment, we can meet what is as both an opportunity to see ourselves more clearly and full of all the loving guidance we need to help us grow. Both are true. It is not balanced to say that life is a cold mirror that reflects back to us a harsh reality in which we can punitively judge our skills. Nor is it balanced to see life as a gooey, all-accepting playing field. There
is personal responsibility and guidance. There is free will and grace. Grace is always holding our capacity for free will. We must open ourselves to see it. Even when our free will moves us in a direction that causes us pain, we have an opportunity, due to grace, to see that which is as lovingly guiding us to wholeness.

My guru Amma shares a story about a man who is running along a field at full speed. He steps on a thorn and curses it, wondering why God has punished him this way. What the man does not see is the cliff he was heading towards, where he would have come to an untimely death. The thorn he curses saved his life.

When we begin to feel grateful for all that is, we meet life in its fullest expression. We see that everything is part of a greater, loving whole, supporting us both to learn and to grow as we return back to the One state of pure undivided consciousness. We are both guided and personally responsible. We are rooted in our sense of self, vital to mobilize and interact with life, and expansive to meet what is as a reflection of who we are so we may embody our fullest potential.

When we meet adversity with humility and receptivity, we can find gratitude even there. Though our feeling of gratitude, we find an internal freedom that brings us all the wealth, joy and wonder we had been seeking all along.

May your life be full of such abundance, joy and blessings.

May you feel grateful for the life you have and share your unique gifts with the world.

Blessings,
Parvati



PS: Reminder that tomorrow is the last day for question submissions.
Please send yours to ask@parvatidevi.com.

Ask Parvati 29: Art As Soul Food - Part 3: The Source of Creativity - Ego or Selflessness

PART 3: THE SOURCE OF CREATIVITY: EGO OR SELFLESSNESS
(Continued from The Power of Intention)

Some people create art through pain and tension. Some thrive on tight deadlines and panic. Others need relaxed quiet in which to create. Though I can meet a painful situation and create, I tend to use the creative force to move through the pain towards expansion. Though some artists rest in pain and seem to need it to create, pain to me is passing. At best, it is a catalyst to propel me towards healing. It is not an end in itself.

When I wrote the song for 9/11, the pain I witnessed and the compassion I felt cracked open a well of goodness and interconnection. I could have written about injustice and anger, but more sincerely for me, more powerful for me was the call to rest in the field of interconnection.

I have written angry songs, judgmental songs, indignant songs, sad songs and happy songs, but if they do not come from a place of sincerity and honesty, they never make it past my song book and into a recording. I am very picky that way. For me, art is a spiritual practice, a way to challenge my ego and grind it down, so that it dissolves back to the One source.

Some are fueled by accolade and fame, while others hold themselves back and hide in the shadows wondering why. Both are an expression of the ego and living in fear. You can be on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people and never further from your soul voice. If an artistic expression is fueled by the ego, an audience member who seeks to hide and mask pain in their own life will likely resonate with it; while those that seek honesty and humility will not find it appealing.

The source of creativity plays a major part in the end artistic product. I feel artists either create from wanting approval, love, acceptance, etc… or from selflessness, service, surrender, love. The voice of the soul is connected to the infinite. When the artist’s soul speaks, their ego dies a little and so can the ego of the audience. But when the artist’s neuroses drive the creative process, we end up with a potentially catchy piece that can amplify the neuroses in others.

For the most part, I write and create music and produce my shows from a place of joy. Often with a smile on my face while at the computer producing, I am told I am like a kid in a toyshop. I can be seen literally jumping up and down when a certain resonance comes together in a song or a production. I just feel so aligned, so alive, so purposeful and complete. I watch my body to see if I feel expansive or constrictive. I consciously choose to create through expansion.

I wrote and produced my CD and show by following my joy. I am not talking about being happy without sincerity. I speak of the expansive expression of my soul that feels positive and tuned into life. I feel that when I connect to my joy, I contribute to the vibration of joy on the planet.

I wish deeply for all beings to be free, for all to be happy, for all to be without suffering. As such, I must first align my consciousness with these qualities so that I may serve others. I am part of a continual inner purification process in so doing. Housecleaning always starts at home. If we are to truly serve others, we must empty ourselves to be vessels for the divine. For me, emptiness comes from the dissolving of the ego, when we get out of our own way and allow Grace to flow. I feel both empty and full when creating and performing.

I am inspired by what my guru Mata Amritanadamayi Devi (Amma) says about music:

Q: Amma, being an artist, a musician, I would like to know what my attitude toward my profession should be and how to express more and more of my musical talents?

Amma: Art is God’s beauty manifested in the form of music, painting, dance and so forth. It is one of the easiest ways to realize one’s inherent divinity.
There are many saints who found God through music. So, you are specially blessed to be a musician. In regards to your attitude toward your profession, be a beginner, a child in front of God, in front of the divine. This will enable you to tap into the infinite possibilities of your mind. And this, in turn, will help you manifest more and more of your musical talents in a much deeper way.

Q: But, Amma, how to be a child, a beginner?

Amma: Just by accepting and recognizing your ignorance, you automatically become a beginner.

Q: I understand that, but I am not completely ignorant. I am a trained musician.
Amma: How much training do you have?

Q: I studied music for six years and have been a performing artist for the last 14 years.

Amma: How big is space?

Q (sounding a little puzzled): I don’t understand Your question.

Amma (smiling): You don’t understand the question because you don’t understand space, isn’t it?

Q (shrugging his shoulders): Maybe.

Amma: Maybe?

Q: But what is the connection between my question and Your asking, “How big is space?”

Amma: There is a connection. Pure music is as big as space. It is God. It is pure knowledge. It is the secret of allowing the pure sound of the universe to flow through you. You cannot learn music in 20 years. You may have been singing for the last 20 years, but to truly understand music means to realize music as your own Self. In order to realize music as your Self, you need to allow music to completely possess you. For more music to occupy your heart, you need to create more space within. More thoughts mean less space. Now, contemplate on this, “How much space do I have within me to spare for pure music?”
If you really wish more and more of your musical talents to manifest, lessen the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and allow more space for the energy of music to flow through you.

- From Amma’s Heart


(Continues tomorrow with A New Generation of Multi-Media Artist: the Multi-Dimensional Co-Creator)

Ask Parvati 28: Enlightenment and Emotions - Part 6: Guidance from the Enlightened

PART 6: GUIDANCE FROM THE ENLIGHTENED

(Continued from The Rise And Fall Of Emotions)

“He who sees all beings in his own Self

and his own Self in all beings,

by virtue of that realization, feels no hatred.

He who has known that all beings

have become one with his own Self,

and he who has seen the oneness of existence,

what sorrow and what delusion can overwhelm him?”

- Isavasya Upanishad

We have explored this week the relationship between enlightenment and emotions. Enlightenment is a topic that is beyond most of us, as most of us are not enlightened. The masters show us the way through the perils of the mind and our tendency for attachment.

When we look at dealing with emotions along the path, we must remember that to feel better than or more evolved than another person, immediately lets us know that we are in our ego. The masters tell us that in an enlightened state, we would see all as divinity. There is no greater than or lesser than feeling in the divine.

We are human beings, sentient beings, returning to love. Emotions will come. Emotions will go. Until we are enlightened, we learn to witness them in ourselves and in others, without attachment. This is our practice until we are established in an open, flowing field of wisdom-compassion. We learn to respond to our emotions rather than react to them.

A friend of mine found out I was writing on this topic this week and sent me the most perfect quote from Amma, that I feel answers this week’s question perfectly. In the words of a true master, who resides in the One, Amma says:

“Enlightenment is not a rock-like state where one loses all inner feelings. It is a state of mind, a spiritual attainment into which you can withdraw yourself and remain absorbed whenever you want. After you tap into the infinite source of energy, your capacity to feel and express everything gains a special, unearthly beauty and depth. If an enlightened person wishes, he or she can express emotions in whatever intensity he or she desires.

Sri Rama cried when the demon king, Ravana, kidnapped his holy consort, Sita. In fact, lamenting like a mortal human being, he asked every creature in the forest, "Have you seen my Sita, where did she go, leaving me alone?" Krishna's eyes were filled with tears when He saw his dear friend Sudama after a very long time. Similar incidents are there in Christ's and Buddha's lives as well. These Mahatmas were as expansive as limitless space and therefore could reflect any emotion they wanted. They were reflective, not reactive.

Like a mirror, Mahatmas respond to situations with perfect spontaneity. Eating when you are hungry is a response. Whereas, eating whenever you see food is a reaction. It is also a disease. Responding to a particular situation, remaining unaffected by it and then moving to the next moment is what a Mahatma does.

Feeling and expressing emotions and honestly sharing them without reservation only adds to an enlightened being's spiritual splendor and glory. It is wrong to see that as a weakness. It should rather be considered as an expression of their compassion and love in a much more human way. Otherwise, how could ordinary humans understand their concern and love?”

May you witness the flow of your emotions and learn to rest in the field of true compassion for self and all beings. May you serve love by witnessing the ebb and flow of your thoughts and emotions. May you learn to love and serve the greatest good in all as you express presence by being in non-resistance to what is. May you move swiftly along your evolutionary path to enlightenment.

Parvati

PS: My next post will be this Sunday.