New Year's Resolutions: Fulfilling Your Heart's Desires - Part 3: Facing Your Inner Saboteur

(Continued from "What are the unconscious tendencies that affect your choices?")

 

The choices we have made over years have carved the lives we have today. Most of these choices were made unconsciously, until we wake up to the story of our lives. We all carry personal tendencies that shape the way we make our decisions. We can see these tendencies clearly in the way we reacted to our parents. Each one of us has unique interference patterns that thwart our joy. These interference patterns are like an inner saboteur that blocks our ability to live our greatest joy.

 

We all carry a saboteur within us until we find the courage to befriend ourself and get to know our shadows. When we befriend ourselves, we begin to listen to the full story of our lives: our hopes and dreams, and the scary, painful bits. If we are to fulfill our dreams, we must acknowledge our shadow, which has a huge impact on the shape of our lives. When we befriend ourselves, we listen to the little girl or little boy within that holds secrets to our unfulfilled desires. When we befriend ourselves, we hear our deepest joys and activate the inner courage to realize our true heart's desires.

 

An exercise that I include every day in my morning meditation practice helps me get in touch with my saboteur. After I have meditated for some time, I quietly breathe in the feeling, the sensation, the reality that all my heart's desires are fulfilled. When I first started to do this exercise, I got a sort of blank, "uh, I don't know", feeling. After some time, my surface joys started to appear. Then I met layers of frustrations, shame, fear, doubt, rage and pain that were blocking deeper joys. I sat with the interference for some time and allowed myself to welcome it all into my heart, realizing that the interference patterns were created by myself, so they could be healed by myself as well. I quietly watched and let them soften. No fighting.

 

After some time in this practice, deeper joys began to express themselves. I felt more abundance radiate through my being. I felt more possibility. I started to allow myself to fully feel what the realization of my joys would feel like, how that would affect every aspect of my life and how it would touch everyone in my life. I let myself expand into the fullness of my heart's desires.

 

I still do this every day. I love it. I find I learn new things about myself every day and feel it is one way I can get out of my own way so that my inner light can shine. I believe that this visualization is powerful. It helps us get in touch with our most authentic self and clear out gently, painlessly and completely the energies that stand in our way.

 

It is my belief that the universe patiently awaits us saying a whole hearted "Yes" to our self. All the help we need is right here, welcoming our fullest joy. I believe that the universe conspires not against us, but in support of us. When we say "Yes" to ourselves, we find all the support we need to realize our dreams.

 

This new year, consider saying "Yes" to yourself and your joys by incorporating this visualization - that all your heart's desires are fulfilled - for a few minutes every day into your life. If you like, keep a journal beside you as you do it so you may jot down what may arise. Go to the source of what you truly desire and get out of your own way so that you may realize it. This practice sets in motion, at a vibrational level, all the support required for your life to be just as you wish it to be.

 

May 2012 be your best year yet!

Many blessings to you,

Parvati

 

 

PS: The next Ask Parvati will appear on Sunday, January 8. To have your question included in the random draw, please send it to ask@parvatidevi.com by Thursday, January 5.

New Year's Resolutions: Fulfilling Your Heart's Desires - Part 1: What Motivates Your Choices?

Happy New Year!  May you experience the fulfilment of your deepest joys and true, heart's desires. For many, meeting our heart's desires may seem like trying to realize a fairy tale illusion, or trying to touch a mirage that always feels out of reach. Yet we often come to New Year's with hope that this year we will finally get the love we want, get that perfect job, make millions or experience glowing health. Whatever it is that you seek to bring fulfilment to your life, may you find it now and live it always. But how do you do that?

 

About nine years ago, I came across a hot-off-the-press book that greatly helped me get my life on track. It helped me stop trying to fulfill other people's dreams and helped me find the courage and get-up-and-go to start fulfilling my own. It is New York Times best selling author Debbie Ford's book The Right Questions. If you have not read it, I recommend you do. It is short, to the point and very useful.

 

In it, Debbie reminds us that where we are today is not the result of a single decision, but the result of repeated choices we have made over time, usually at an unconscious level. When we consider this, we may conclude that this could be a reason why many New Year's resolutions don't succeed. Perhaps, despite our best resolve, we find it hard to live the life we want because we have not been asking "the right questions" to help us understand the thoughts and choices that brought us to where we are today.

 

If we are to understand what drives our choices, we must look within. We must understand our fears, shame and doubts that thwart our ability to fulfill our dreams. Everyone will have different interference patterns that block their joy. We usually can see these patterns taking shape in our early childhood in relation to our primary caregivers. I do not believe it is wise to blame our parents for our current life. But exploring how we interacted with them will shine light on our unconscious tendencies that created our life today.

 

We all come to this planet with a predisposition towards certain tendencies. These tendencies will unconsciously drive all our choices until we wake up to the story of our life. When we explore our early relationships, we can see our tendencies. Any child would react differently in any given situation because we are all unique. Where one child would have fought back, another would have run to hide, and another would have not noticed any issue at all. How did you react to your early environment?

 

(Continued tomorrow with "What are the unconscious tendencies that affect your choices?")

Ask Parvati 26: Follow Your Bliss - Part 5: Priorities, Focus and the Unexpected

PART 5: PRIORITIES, FOCUS AND THE UNEXPECTED

(Continued from Facing Adversity)

When the twin towers fell in 2001, I was at the piano working on a melody and song idea. At that time, I was living at my parents’ house. My dad was upstairs watching TV. He came running down the stairs, shaken by what he was seeing on TV. “Come and see! It’s staggering!” he said.

I sat there, jaw dropped, stunned by what I was watching televised in real time: the massive banking towers falling to the ground, people jumping from the windows, emergency crews in overdrive. My heart ached at the loss, the horror, the tragedy.

Flooded with emotion, I went from the TV straight back to the piano, where I wrote the song, “You Gotta Believe”, which later I was invited to perform at Madison Square Garden for the city of New York. The lyrics go like this:

If this moment were your very last, how would you want it to be?

What do you need to do to be at peace? Do you need to make that apology?

There’s no better time than this moment we now have to live the way that you want to be.

What will be in your heart when you leave?

You gotta believe in the good of life and what you feel.

You gotta believe in the power of love and what is real.

You gotta believe. You gotta believe.

Would you want to go in the midst of fear or having a temper tantrum?

Would you want to wait until it’s too late to say you could’ve, or you would’ve or you should’ve been?

Are you brave enough to look within? It’s easier to point out other’s sins

Than to see where we each have erred, how we could have cared, how we could’ve shared.

You gotta believe in the good of life and what you feel.

You gotta believe in the power of love and what is real.

You gotta believe. You gotta believe.

Life’s a wake up call, how we’re all afraid to fall without the love we all need.

What will it take, more raising the stakes for your eyes to fully see, for your heart to remember its divinity?

You gotta believe in the good of life and what you feel.

You gotta believe in the power of love and what is real.

You gotta believe. You gotta believe.
© Parvati Devi, 2001

My heart still goes out to all those who lost in the tragedy and to those who rose to the challenge and grew stronger through it. We never know what life will bring, but we know we must live fully. We know that fear and doubt hold us back from the courage to leap into the unknown, let go of the familiar and try something new.

We also know that sooner or later, even when we have embraced that which feels expansive, rooted and vital for us, we will face setbacks. When we are faced with adversity, if we are to live the hero’s journey and follow our bliss, we need to remain rooted on what is real, on the truth of interconnection and on basic goodness.

Our soul is connected to everything. In this way, the goodness of life is beyond the ups and downs, the pain and suffering we create and experience. There is a force beyond it all that I call the golden thread, guiding us through the messes we create and the hurt we can feel.

Life will test us. Especially then, we need to stay true to your vision. We learn through adversity to put the things that are most important as our highest priority. Most of us can get caught up in the nitty-gritty, rather than putting the scary stuff, the challenging stuff first. “Oh, I will get to that later” we tell ourselves, in an elusive attempt to curb our fears. But when does later come? How long are we willing to wait? What is the cost of waiting? It is easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we are growing and doing ok, when in fact, we are hiding and not challenging ourselves to meet our highest potential. All of a sudden you wake up and ten years have flown by.

Following our bliss requires discernment, constant vigilance, keen focus and commitment to honouring the call of our unique inner voice. The universe supports our greatest joy. We must be willing to remain focused on such while we face the ups and downs of life. Staying focused and being prepared to meet the unexpected are part of the hero’s journey and following your bliss.

(Continues tomorrow with Today Is The Day)

 

Ask Parvati 26: Follow Your Bliss - Part 4, Facing Adversity

PART 4: FACING ADVERSITY

(Continued from Managing Fear And Doubt)

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.” - Joseph Campbell

There is a reason that Star Wars and the Matrix were such popular movies. We can relate to and feel inspired by the power of the characters that felt a calling and overcame obstacles to live their highest good and serve the highest good of all. The story of the hero’s journey is not new, but an ancient archetype that weaves through many cultures around the world. If you wish to live your bliss, this is the journey you must take.

Even when we let go of the voices that keep us small and muster the courage to go for the things that make us feel alive, we inevitably meet challenges along our path to wholeness. It would be great if all we had to do is ‘go for it’ and suddenly all lights were green. Along the path, we meet test and distractions that attempt to pull us away from our journey. But just like the fear and doubt, adversity is not ultimately “bad”. If we are wise and sober, it brings us closer to our soul purpose.

When we first heard the call of our soul, we needed to face the voices of fear and doubt that told us we couldn’t and shouldn’t. As we move more deeply into alignment with our soul voice, sometimes the road gets tougher and darker before it gets easier and lighter. On the hero’s journey, the hero must face his/her shadow to find wholeness. So too, we are tested in the process of becoming our fullest selves.

I do not believe that adversity is a problem or a sign from the universe that we are off path. Sometimes New Age teachings oversimplify life into, “if it’s all fluid, then you are doing well, and if it is challenging, then you are not in alignment.” You may feel challenged when you meet adversity, but I do not believe it is a sign that you have taken a wrong turn. Only when we face our fears will we be free from them. Only when we stop fighting the dark, will we no longer be afraid to be the light we are.

Nor do I believe it is a good idea to passively let adversity steamroll over us and take the wind out of our sails. We wobble. We fall. We get up. We start again. We learn to be both humble and powerful, because we are aligned not to our personal will but to our soul. Through tests, we learn to honour the voice of our soul, which is connected to the divine source of infinite power.

The very love and spark and deep passion that made us start our journey in the first place is the source to which we return again and again. We may feel afraid. That is ok. We may feel challenged and unsure how to make it through. That is ok. Beyond the doubts and the fears, stronger than the power of the obstacles, we learn to touch with confidence the reality that we are guided, that we are not alone, that we are loved. Though the dark may scare us, we know we are beings of light.

Adversity does not make us stronger, in terms of our ability to push at life with more determination. Pushing only leads to a push back, as the universe must maintain balance. Adversity calls us to connect more deeply to our truth and let go of the temptation to get caught up in anger, fear, doubt, shame, rage and despair. Instead, adversity is an invitation from the universe to resource our energies with discernment, to use them wisely so that we may keep focused on our purpose and on our highest good.

Adversity will come. Obstacles will come. Tests will come. But so too will the help, the angels, the mentors, our very own support crew. The universe conspires to support our greatest joy. In this we will learn to believe. We have to put ourselves out there to discover that our dreams are indeed possible.

(Continues tomorrow with Priorities, Focus And The Unexpected)

 

Ask Parvati 26: Follow Your Bliss - Part 3, Managing Fear and Doubt

PART 3: MANAGING FEAR AND DOUBT

(Continued from Name It To Claim It)

“If you don't follow your dream, who will?” - Emeril Lagasse

When we want to start anything new, we usually experience some level of fear and doubt. Sometimes the fear is so great, that we never make it to the starting line. Imprisoned by our fear, we shackle ourselves to what we believe to be true and look out at life, wondering how we ever are going to live the life we want.

Fear and doubt are not bad. I don’t believe any emotion per se is “bad”. When fear and doubt become overwhelming, they hinder our ability to live fulfilled lives. Some fear when starting a new project or embracing life change is natural and can be an ally. It keeps us alert and on our toes. Fear heightens our awareness and can keep us safe from danger.

And so it is with doubt. A small amount of doubt can help us make decisions that are rooted in discernment rather than foolish impulse. Doubt can help us find the courage to ask probing questions and get answers to things that may be less immediately apparent. But too much doubt will keep us from even getting to the starting line.

When fear and doubt become so loud that we talk ourselves out of living our joy, we must stop, regroup and change the way we deal with these emotions.

From what I can tell, everyone has the voices that say, “I can’t. I am too young. I am too old. I am not good looking enough. I am not healthy enough. I am not wealthy enough. I am not talented enough…” The list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on! It does not stop! The “not enoughs” seem to be part of our human shadow. How we manage fear and doubt often makes the difference between those who are happily pursuing a life they love and those who are waiting on the sidelines.

I do not for a moment feel that people who are celebrities are necessarily on their highest soul path. Perhaps singing and dancing in front of thousands of people, or being a movie superstar, or a high-powered business mogul does not challenge these people at a soul level. Perhaps those abilities are a distraction from what they may find harder to do, such as to stay at home, raise a family and be a parent. A true calling does not have to be glamorous.

Whether you are Sally Homemaker or Pablo Picasso, the one thing I do believe people who excel at their lives and are living their joy have in common is the power to manage the voice of their inner critic. Whether you are in business, the arts, science or sports, anyone who wishes to connect to their soul voice has to face their inner critic that will tirelessly provide them with every reason why they should not and could not follow their bliss.

When we are on the path, we have a choice. We can give the power to these voices or we can let them go. If we are to let them go, we must learn to see them as they are. They are distractions, old stories that have no real power other than what we feed them. We must learn to work with fear and doubt in the moment, rather than push them away.

Just as with any emotion, when we try to run from it, it follows us. When we sink into it and become identified with it, we lose ourselves in it. When we run from or sink into fear and doubt, they grow. What we resist persists. Instead we learn to welcome fear and doubt, and be with them. When we are present and stop fighting them, the energy that feeds them subsides. Soon we find ourselves not so afraid, not in such doubt. We learn to welcome fear as it walks along side us, rather than panicking about feeling afraid. Learning to manage our fears and doubts is key because as we travel along our soul path, we will face adversity. As we develop the skill to manage our shadow, we find the room in our lives to choose the light.

(Continues tomorrow with Facing Adversity)