Ask Parvati 28: Enlightenment and Emotions - Part 1: What Is Enlightenment?

ENLIGHTENMENT AND EMOTIONS

Dear Parvati,

When a person is enlightened do they still respond to human emotions the same way that, lets say, the average person would?

PART 1: WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT?

Thank you for this question. It is an important question in that there are many misconceptions about enlightenment, mostly because most of us are not yet fully enlightened. If we are lucky, we may have glimpses. But enlightenment is something most of us actually know very little about from personal experience.

They say that only the enlightened can recognize an enlightened being. So not yet being fully realized myself, I can only imagine what the end “goal” would be and how a fully realized being would respond to emotions. I have a sense based on what I have experienced and through learning from great masters.

Due to this, I feel it appropriate to talk about emotions and enlightenment in this blog referring to the body of experience that I can offer and in drawing upon to wisdom of the great masters that guide our way.

Unlike book learning, wisdom that comes from experience resonates in complete understanding through our entire being. There have been periods in my life of blissful flow and oneness, but not in a permanent way. I also experience states of division, separation and suffering. My journey is not yet complete. So we rely on the guidance of the great masters such as the Buddha and Christ to provide us with the tools and roadmaps to direct our journey to enlightenment.

So what is enlightenment? I understand enlightenment to be part of every human being’s destiny. We each are called to this state, to reach the “goal” (as some traditions call it) at some point through our many incarnations. In truth, we are one with pure consciousness. The process of our soul’s evolution involves a purification of our distorted perceptions so that we may realize our true, divine nature. This process is of personal benefit, and also of benefit to all beings, as we are all connected.

In the Hindu tradition, there is an understanding of four primary goals of human existence: dharma (righteousness), artha (wealth), kama (desire) and moksha (liberation). It is said that of these, the highest dharma is moksha, the experience of full realization.

There are various stages of enlightenment. In the early stages, we begin to awaken and realize that there is more to life than wanting and our perceptions. We start to question the nature of the mind and the grip of the ego. Then there are various stages of purification of the mind as the ego dissolves and we feel more interconnection. As we evolve, the ego holds less power and we slowly merge back to the One. Finally, we reside in a permanent state of oneness with pure, divine consciousness and feel a unity with all that is. In this final stage, we are no longer identified with the body or the mind. We have transcended even death itself.

The fully realized being, my guru, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, lovingly known as Amma or Mother, speaks eloquently of the dissolution of the ego:

“Within the bud of the ego, it is dark and narrow. When the bud gives way and the flower emerges, everything becomes beautiful and pervaded by the most glorious light. You come out of the dark into radiant light, from imprisonment to freedom, from ignorance to true knowledge. This world of diversity is transformed into perfect oneness. It happens within you, not externally.”

It is my understanding that when we return to the One, the final stage of enlightenment, we see all that is as a reflection of pure consciousness. All that is, is divine. In this state, we don’t have emotional reactions but still have the capacity for emotion, while abiding in the equanimous state of pure compassion.

This is a very sophisticated state of being, one very few know, one that is true mastery. Such a state involves the absolute dissolution of the ego, of any notion of duality or separation and the complete merging into the flow of pure consciousness. When we are in the One, it is my understanding that we are in a permanent state of unity with the world, with the universe and with all of creation.

Amma speaks of this state of being with first hand experience:

“As the realization that everything is pervaded with Divine Consciousness dawns within you, you also see that every human being, everything in creation, is already Divine. The only difference is that you know that you and they are one with Divinity, but they do not. It is only a question of uncovering the truth.”

In the Bhagavad Gita, the sacred Hindu text, Krishna tells Arjuna that an enlightened being sees all things equally and loves all things equally. This passage expresses some of this notion:

“By seeing the Ultimate Consciousness equally everywhere, impartially situated, one does not degrade the embodied self, by the self; therefore reaching the supreme goal.” (Bhagavad Gita, 13:29)

So then how do we embody such a sophisticated state of equanimity and balance? The masters tell us, the answers lie right here, in the eternal now.

(Continued tomorrow with Enlightenment Now)

Ask Parvati 27: Addiction - Part 2: What Is Addiction?

PART 2: WHAT IS ADDICTION?

(Continued from Where Is Addiction?)

Addiction is a serious disease that affects millions globally. The American Society of Addiction Medicine defines addiction as "a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry." In the truest sense, addiction is a compulsion to be involved with a substance or activity despite the negative and harmful consequences associated with it. As such, addiction alters brain chemistry, making users dependent on either a substance or an action in order to sustain and maintain that particular chemistry.

From a psychological perspective, addiction is a compulsive activity that hinders the quality of life. When do you know, for example, if a few drinks every day after work, makes you an alcoholic? People with this habit are likely to say that they can stop at any time. Perhaps they can. So then what makes them an alcoholic?

To find out if a habit like that makes you an alcoholic you need to see if the habit is negatively affecting the quality of your life and the close ones around you. In order to see if it is negatively affecting the quality of your life, you need to be willing to look honestly at yourself. The notion of “negative effect” can be overt, like bankruptcy, divorce, contemplating suicide. Or it can be subtler. For example, perhaps you feel that having a drink is more comforting than speaking with your children or spouse. The drink, which seems to simply "take the edge off", is in fact building a wall between what you feel and your ability to be honest with yourself. Because of that habit, your relationship with your spouse and children suffer. If this is the case, the alcohol habit is an addiction.

I adore the quote attributed to the Buddha, which I feel sums up so succinctly the way our minds work:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

There is an important difference between habit and addiction. When we are addicted, we are identified with the habit. That habit defines who we are. It is our identity. We can no longer differentiate between that action and who we are. We fully believe that that drink, or that joint or that hit will take the pain away. It defines our reality.

When we are sober and face a habit, we can see that it either hinders or serves us. We have the self-awareness, the discipline and the willingness to alter that habit and choose healthier ones. In the case of addiction, we identify with that habit as who we are and cannot see it or the possibility of being free from it, so it continues.

In this way, I understand that addiction to a substance may not be the root of addiction. Addiction can come in the form of thoughts, such as a perpetual core belief with which we have fully identified. For example, the idea “I am ugliness” or even “I am darkness” could be so all-consuming that we end up acting in ways that feed that identification. Feeling like a victim would feed that identity. Feeling others are against us would feed it as well. We can believe that we are empty and need to be filled. We then may turn compulsively to substances, work, sports, people or even to religious practices as a means to try to fill ourselves up. We have identified with darkness and act in ways that only feed that reality, until we wake up to the reality that we are not darkness, but are in fact beings of infinite light.

This form of psychological addiction can come in any form. Perhaps it is the idea “I am not enough”, or “I am a nobody”, or “I am incapable”. Any of these kinds of self-effacing thoughts, when we identify with them as who we are, become an addiction. These distorted, root thought forms, when they become our identity, then in turn fuel secondary addictive behaviors, such as substance abuse.

EXERCISE

1) Take a look at what actions in your life are compulsive. See if they negatively affect the quality of your life.

2) Go within, go deeper and ask yourself, are there any core beliefs that seem so pesky that they have become the way you simply see yourself and reality?

3) If you have identified yourself and your reality in impossibilities, are you wiling to see otherwise?

(Continued tomorrow with Hitting Bottom)

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga Is Everywhere - Part 4, Yoga Is Everywhere

YOGA IS EVERYWHERE

(Continued from Yoga In the Nightclub)

 

My song Yoga In the Nightclub is a spiritually artistic expression that celebrates the notion that God-realization, yoga, the divine can be found, practiced, lived, celebrated and embodied everywhere. Perhaps even in today’s day, when we are called as spiritual aspirants to engage the world and be lights in the dark, we must find yoga everywhere, even in the nightclub.

 

We like to think one thing is spiritual and another is not. Our minds tend to judge, categorize and divide. In so doing, we may miss seeing the fullness and the beauty of life. When we walk into a yoga studio, we hope to find peacefulness and spirituality. We may find that. We may also find lots of egos stuck to their mats. When we do our own practice, we hope to let go of our ego, but we may end up having a tête-à-tête with our shadow self.

 

When we walk out onto a noisy street, we may only see speeding cars and hear loud noises. But what about the small voice within? What about the stillness we found in our meditation practice? Where have these gone? Are we still anchored, even in stormy seas? Have we have lost the eternal quiet that exists perennially beneath the noise?

 

We may go to a spiritual center or ashram and indeed, feel blessed by the spiritual energy there. But if all we see as holy is the ashram and then the world as mundane, we miss an opportunity to find the divine everywhere, in everything, even in things we find harder to like. Perhaps the world is our ashram and our body is our temple. That way, our yoga practice is everywhere.

 

When I first started to work with my music manager, he had spent his career navigating the murkiness of the music industry. The consciousness found in my music and my dedication to my yoga practice was for him a breath of fresh air. As we walked the yoga tradeshow floor together, he felt he was in bliss-land. But soon, behind the shiny, clean surface, he started to see similar patterns in people as those he had experienced in the music industry.

 

People are people and our tendencies are with us wherever we may be. Sometimes the darkest energies hide closest to the light. Ego and greed are everywhere. Though it is essential while on the spiritual path to take refuge, as the Buddhists say, in the three jewels: the Buddha (the guru or the awakened one), the Dharma (the enlightened teachings), and the Sangha (the community that has attained enlightenment), we must also engage the world. Wherever we are, whatever we may be doing, we learn, as true yogis, to be Yoga.

 

Practice seeing yoga everywhere and the whole world becomes your yoga mat. Practice seeing yoga even in the nightclub and that which you may once thought to be dark, becomes a creative seedbed for the birth of new light. Out of the darkness of the womb, new life is born.

 

(Continues tomorrow with Nada Yoga: The Yoga of Sound)

Ask Parvati 18: TO DO OR NOT TO DO, THAT IS THE QUESTION. PART 6: TO BE AND NOT TO DO

PART 6: TO BE AND NOT TO DO

(Continued from “When Is Enough Enough?”)

The very energy of life is dynamic. We hold on tight to the notion of our selves “doing” to grab onto some sense of solidity, some sense of control, some sense that we, our perception of a divided self, matters. From that perspective, we fear that if we were to be, we would turn into a puddle and do nothing. We fear we would not know how to even get out of bed in the morning because we would melt into an amorphous oblivion.

But as we start to let go of the idea of i-dentity, the i-dea of being i-solated i-slands, separate, each fighting for our own sense of self-importance, we begin to touch a sacred dance that has been carrying us all along. We then see that the fear of doing nothing, if we were to let go of the idea that I am the doer, is in fact not at all possible because all that is, is dancing. When we are in non-resistance to what is, we are all like cosmic dancers, dancing within life’s sacred dance.

When we live on auto-pilot and do not question the nature of reality, we believe that we are the doers. We believe we are in control, in charge, creating our lives. But do we really have control? Perhaps it seems so, for limited times. We feel we made it this far and got the job we wanted or we succeeded at completing a daunting task. We feel puffed and proud until we find ourselves fired from our job and our sense of accomplishment from completing a task unravels as things start to go awry.

What is it that moves life forward? What force propels evolution? Mystics will say that this is the force of life and it is divine. We have no control over it. It is our folly, our misperception due to our limited senses, to think that we are doing, when in fact we do nothing at all.

The mystic Nisargadatta Maharaj says through his non-dual teachings in his classic book “I Am That” "Doership is a myth born from the illusion of 'me' and 'the mine'."

The Buddha is quoted as saying, "Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof."

We think we are separate, so we need control to try to regain connection. But we cannot find a solution to a problem with the same thought patterns that created the problem. From a divided mind, we cannot find connection.

We must learn to see beyond our attachment to separation and see ourselves as part of a whole. We must not identify with our actions, but see ourselves as servants to the divine, vessels for the energy of the sacred to move through us.

It is when we get out of the way that our lives flow. The tighter we hold on, trying to get it all perfect and right, the further we move away from the reality that all that already is, is perfection. We squeeze the life right out of life.

When we pause, when we open, when we begin to truly see, we feel immense power in the reality that we have no control, not because we are not powerful, but because we are powerful beyond belief. We have no need for a finite sense of control. We see that the idea of “I” is finite, a limited lens though which we see life, but is not the whole picture. We begin to understand that “I am” is more than enough. It is all that is.

(Continues tomorrow with “The Tortoise And The Hare” and “Living Within The Sacred Whole”)

Ask Parvati 16: Anger As An Ally, Part 5: Anger Is Natural, But Never Justified

 

ANGER IS NATURAL, BUT NEVER JUSTIFIED

(Continued from Anger, What a Pain!)

There is a wonderful story that illustrates the effects of anger.

 

There once was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and said every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail in the fence.

 

The first day the boy had pounded over fifty nails into the fence. As the days went on, the number of nails driven into the fence became fewer. The boy grew tired and began to realize that it was easier to let go of his temper than to drive nails into the fence.

 

Finally one day, the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He proudly told his father about his success. The father quietly asked that the boy now pull out one nail for each day he was able to curb his temper.

 

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father then took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. The father said:

 

"Son, you have done well. Look now at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You may say cutting, hurtful words to someone. You may even throw punches. But no won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound from your actions will still be there."

 

If we could all see the effects of our ignorant and hurtful actions, our hearts surely would burst into sincere remorse with the desire to be forgiven and act only in compassion. Anger is natural, but it is not enough to leave it there. Part of our call on this human journey is to embody wisdom-compassion as the saints and sages did. When we see a bigger picture, we see that anger is always born out of ignorance.

 

His Holiness the Dalai Lama reminds us of the power of our emotions: “Hatred can be the greatest stumbling block to the development of compassion and happiness. If you learn to develop patience and tolerance towards your enemies, then everything becomes much easier–your compassion towards all others begins to flow naturally. Happiness cannot come from hatred or anger. Nobody can say, ‘Today I am happy because this morning I was angry.’ On the contrary, people feel uneasy and sad and say, ‘Today I am not very happy, because I lost my temper this morning.’”

 

Anger can become addictive, like a bad habit on overdrive. Seduced by its surging heat, for a moment we feel like kings. But we will not find there the happiness we deeply seek. The Buddha says, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

 

When the heat of anger arises, it takes a humble willingness and profound courage to release the notion of againstness, feeling hard done by, feeling life is happening to me; and open to love. We must truly understand that there is no health or evolution or good that comes from blame or judgment. When we truly understand this, anger looses its attractiveness. We see life from a broader vantage point, as a bigger picture, one that is rooted in love, trust and interconnection. When we live in this, we become truly wealthy. In the Bible, Psalm 37: 14-16 reads:

 

"The angry ones draw their swords, the angry ones aim their bows

To put down the poor and the weakened and to kill those who walk on the path of righteousness.

But their sword hits their own heart, their bows will be broken.

With his poverty, the righteous one is richer than all the angry ones in their abundance."

 

(More tomorrow: The Angry Liver: How to Make Your Liver Hum)

 

North Pole Journey - Day Three, Part One

Day Three: Saturday September 25, 2010

Part One

The Thread of Pure Consciousness

I wake up to my second morning in Resolute Bay. It is the day before I leave for the North Pole. I feel inwardly warmed by the memory of meeting the Inuit healers Lisa and Louisa last night. What grace to have such palpable, human confirmation that a subtle thread of healing interconnects us all. How else could these women have known before meeting me that I was coming to the North Pole to do healing work for the Earth? It seems the same energy that sparks their inner healing journey also inspires mine. I feel carried by an invisible force, which affirms the rightness of my decision to follow the intuitive guidance, put my musical tour on hold and come to this icy land.

A subtle thread connects us all. I have heard some people compare that force to a river. To me it is the flow of pure love, a continuum of pure consciousness that is in everything. When we are open, ready and willing to listen and release our ego and become receptive to what truly is, we find that thread and it guides us. I have felt its presence often. Following it, life unfolds effortlessly, when faced either with adversity or with pleasurable experiences. At times, my own willfulness gets in the way because I am attached to seeing reality the way I want it to be. I can feel disconnected, alone and attached to feeling like life is against me, happening ‘to me’. I have found it takes both the smallness of humility and the bigness of courage, a kind of spiritual ferocity, to be willing to lay down one’s ego and swallow the pill of sobriety in all situations.

I meet up with Rishi and Sunanda. Hungry, we head downstairs for breakfast. There we find Satish and join him. We also see Steve, the gifted healer/yogi I mentioned in my previous blog entry, who is quietly focused on eating. He greets us with some trepidation. He is clearly still attached to the idea of going on the North Pole journey with us and has not yet understood our choice to go on our own. I can feel that his heart is in the right place, but it seems his ego is in the way of seeing what really is. He seems to feel that our choice to go solo eclipses our ability to see him in all his mastery, rather than us doing what feels balanced and correct for us at this time. Our choice is not about him, yet he is taking it personally.

He quietly eats his cereal without saying much. As I watch him eat, while waiting for my warm breakfast, I think of how our own reactivity is a clever ego decoy from experiencing the fullness of life. Through the drama of it all, we momentarily feel proud, strong and justified based on feeling separate and hard done by. I wonder if he really can taste his cereal, or if his senses are numbed by repeated thoughts so that all he tastes is the bitterness of misunderstanding.

He does not look up at us much. I suppose it is best to let him be. I know from having been around challenging people that only when one is truly receptive to another can one have a sincere conversation. At this time, it seems Steve is more interested in judging us for what he feels is us being small minded, rather than opening to learn more about our process and our intuitive guidance, and being happy for our trip.

The Power of the Sangha (Spiritual Community)

My breakfast comes and the steam from the hot oats rises to touch my face. I think of how the vapour from the hot food bridges solid matter and the air unseen. I think of the many times I have judged, closed myself off, become reactive and thought myself better than. It is easy to go there. I feel grateful for the kind-hearted friends who are around me.

My friends and I are a reality check for each other along our evolutionary path. By being receptive to feedback, we help each other avoid the pitfalls that are simply part of the spiritual path and the trickiness of the ego. Buddhists have a lovely tradition in which aspirants are taught to find refuge in the three jewels: the Buddha (embodied by the Buddha himself and seen as pure consciousness and one’s true nature), Dharma (the path of righteousness, specifically the teachings on the Buddha) and the Sangha (the community of those dedicated to enlightenment). My sangha helps me see my blind spots and help me live dharmically or righteously.

Together we learn the humility to evolve as we uphold each other to our highest potential. Faced with trickiness along the path, I know it is not easy. We each die in the evolutionary process, the death of the ego that wants life to suit the ease of our own perception. We are reborn stronger beings of pure consciousness. To them I give thanks for their fierce courage to look at life straight on and say: "I AM!"