Being in the Flow-ers- Part 2: When Push Comes To Shove

(Continued from The Sacred Garden)

 

I have been feeling low energy the last couple of weeks. Perhaps it is just the end of winter and I am a bit like a tropical flower that is challenged by the colder seasons. It is more likely that I have been working too hard, a knee-jerk reaction to feeling that I need to catch up for time I spent bedridden this past year. So I started to push rather than flow.

 

My pushing came strikingly to mind last week as I was doing my bi-weekly swim to help heal my spine. I started to feel really pumped and proud that I was swimming faster than everyone in the pool. I suddenly noticed that I could feel an acidic fluid rush through my cells with each stroke, as the reptilian part of my brain was getting fixated on how “special” I was because I was faster and therefore “better” than others.

 

Being a meditator, I took note when the constrictive consciousness arose through me and started to feed my cells with toxic ego boosters. I then returned to what feels more natural and joyful to me: to use the swim as a meditation practice flow, rather than trying to push the river. (Of note, I swim much faster, with more grace and less fatigue when I am channeling a joyful dolphin rather than a predatory shark.)

 

Yesterday, I was feeling particularly tired. I have been putting in extra hours to prepare for a mini-holiday soon, convincing myself I needed to do more now because I will rest then. But that never works. Nature has a way of reminding us that we need to live in balance.

 

So as some alarm points in my body started to flare, I shared my feelings with my partner who said to me that he knew exactly what I needed, and asked if I would trust him to bring me somewhere special as a surprise.

 

A challenge for my friends, family and partner is the fact that I am intuitive, so it’s hard to treat me to a surprise. Within seconds of his offer, a flash before my mind’s eye showed me exactly where he wanted to go. I told him that his choice felt perfect, so off we went.

 

DELIGHT OF BEING

 

Thirty minutes later I was walking into the thick, moist air of a lush, tropical greenhouse in the center of downtown Toronto. If I had fairy wings, they would have started to tingle and flutter in delight. It was as though my aura was sparkling, saying hello to all the plants. I could feel my entire being, mind, body, heart, soul, spirit come alive, just by being in the presence of vital, well cared for and happy nature. I inhaled the life force that was all around me. As every part of me started to relax, root and expand, I felt that I was home.

 

We sat for some time under a banana tree and watched the children play. One young girl, about eight years old, was helping her younger brother with Down’s Syndrome experience great excitement as he jumped off a rock a foot off the ground. You could see that for him, he was jumping off a great cliff and achieving a mighty success with each leap of faith. For her, her heart sang with the pure joy of serving the child’s obvious joy. It was a beautiful display of our human potential.

 

I watched as people walked through the doors from the concrete city and melted in wonder at the green landscape dappled in a multi-coloured floral array. Their worries seemed to float away, frowns softened, smiles opened. Delight was inevitable.

 

Tears started to well into my eyes and roll down my cheeks. It was just so beautiful. I was opening, softening, healing, just like they were. I could see myself in the faces of those who walked into the green sanctuary. I could see the way my own heaviness fell away as I walked into this world of natural beauty.

 

I also felt a grief arise in my heart due to the weight I have allowed myself to carry, the ways I get swept up into the details of life and can feel separate from my joy. It was as though I had allowed my inner flower to be squashed by the perceived heaviness of “to do’s”. With each tear, I could feel that I was laying all that weight down at the feet of the mighty flowers.

 

It is true that the urban world is also part of Nature as a whole, but the world built by man is for the most part burdened with layers of our ego, our sense of effort and separation and the drive for personal gratification. This natural sanctuary, by contrast, within the city built by us, was like a church for me and clearly for others too. Nature’s pure beingness was a reminder of our true nature, the simplicity of being, the interconnection of all things, the wisdom of life unfolding one beautiful breath at a time. How easy in the city it is to start believing in the solidity of the concrete buildings, the way they hold on, their rigidity, rather than being like the organic life we can see in a forest or garden – the organic life we are.

 

My partner and I walked through the garden. As I came upon fresh spring flowers, all feeling of heaviness vanished. I felt like space, rooted, dancing, present. I was those flowers and they were me. I was nature and nature was me. I felt like the flowers spoke to me in their vibrational language and said: “Be. You are beauty. Be. You are joy. Be. I am.” Their effortless beauty and joyful presence reminded me of my true nature. How complicated we can make life! How complicated the mind can be! There were these exquisite works of art sculpted by Nature’s perfectly balanced hand, effortlessly being.

 

The flowers are. They are not trying to be. In their presence, there is healing. They are not writing about being. They are.

 

As we sit quietly with the flowers, we sense the wisdom there. The wisdom does not shout. It does not compete with the noise of the city. It is. It is confident, surrendered and eternal.

 

I leave you today with a simple request: go spend some time with flowers this week. If you live in a Northern city, there is surely a greenhouse within reach on public transit. If you live in a Southern climate (where I will be visiting soon), lucky you -- go find the flowers in the wild. However you find them, be with them. Do not wait till next week or the following. Do it now. And let your inner imagination be drawn into them.

 

The little girl in me came to life as I saw the children in the greenhouse play in a magical world of wonder. I ended up describing to my partner my ideal house, how it would be in a greenhouse. He said it would be great to have a greenhouse in the house. I said, no, the house is a greenhouse. The bedroom would be up a ladder above the trees, the living room near the wishing well, the kitchen near the tulips and my music studio near the lemon trees. Why not?

 

(Continues tomorrow with some wisdom from Thich Nhat Hanh)

Ask Parvati 40: Distractions - Keeping Your Eye On The Prize - Part 1: Focus, Discipline and Courage

Dear Parvati,

Thank you for your posts. I found last week's particularly useful as it spoke to the way I want to make changes in my life this year. Though I love pursuing my life as a creative writer, I find I too often get pulled into listening to other people's problems. I can literally spend hours a day helping people. I am happy to help, but then I feel drained, with little energy left after my day job to pour into my creative pursuits. Any words of wisdom?

 

Thank you for this question. I understand the situation and often find myself needing to be quite ruthless with my time and how I spend it. Distractions always present themselves throughout the day. We must consciously choose how to spend our time and where to place our energy.

 

Whether you are pursuing the life of an artist, are making life changes or wish to start a creative venture, you must have focus, discipline and courage. If you have not yet read Amma's New Year's message, she addresses this to some extent by reminding us that our most valuable asset we have is time, which we too often squander. Keeping focused on the purpose of our life is paramount, especially as we move through the day and encounter seemingly small things that become large obstacles and that take us off path.

 

If you are not familiar with Julia Cameron's book "The Artist's Way", check it out. Her work helps keep artists on path and stay true to their calling. Her practical and straightforward exercises help bring people's life into authentic alignment with their soul's creative voice.

 

Last year, I had a long chat with a friend of mine about this very issue, how to remain focused as you follow your dreams. At this point, this friend of mine has become quite famous and is now a mentor to many about how to make it on your own terms. She told me how she focuses on her goals like she is shooting a water pistol at a ballon. It requires focused aim. She also noted that as soon as she loses her focus, she immediately sees it reflected in her success rate, her popularity and her income. To counter this, she has a personal policy that she calls "knife for life", not being afraid to 'say it like she sees it', fiercely choosing where she places her energy and with whom she spends her time.

 

This is her way to keep her eye on the prize. Because of her focus, clarity and determination, she now does not easily get entangled with people with needy energy, but has, nonetheless, created a life where she helps those in need. Her books, public appearances and media presence touch many more people and inspire them to find their way, far more effectively than if she got lost in in daily distractions that pull her from her path.

 

That is the wonderful thing about life. When we say yes to our highest purpose, ultimately, everyone wins. The person with whom you get entangled on the phone for hours that you allow to pull you away from what you love, could perhaps be better helped by someone else, or perhaps by reading the book you really want to write. Getting entangled in situations that make us less than we are and pull us off path, are a lose-lose dynamic. It is like jumping into the water to save a drowning person. When we allow ourselves to stay on path and stand our solid ground, we can be of far greater service to ourselves and therefore to others. From that solid footing, we can extend an helping hand to those in need without losing ourselves.

 

Today, ask yourself, the following questions:

1) What in your life drains your energy?

2) Why do you feel you are attached to it?

3) What do you feel your ego gains from being attached to it?

4) What would your life look like and how would you feel without it?

5) Are you totally open, ready and willing to get it go?

6) What do you need to realign within yourself to let it go?

7) What practical steps do you need to take in order to do so?

 

Now, get going to make those changes. If you want it, you got it. But do you really want it? We need to regularly ask ourselves this sobering question. We often stay stuck playing it small because it feels easier and safer to let life slip by. But at what cost? The cost of your deepest joy and true heart desire? Are you really willing to let that go in exchange for fear and temporary comforts? Think long and hard about that. What is the cost of not following your dreams? When we bring our full selves into what we are doing and free ourselves from limiting beliefs and hindering habits, we find the life we had been hoping to find.

 

Continues tomorrow with "Is It An Opportunity Or A Distraction?"

Ask Parvati 38: Finding Centre in the Busy Day - Part 1: The Power of the Breath

I feel a bit like a jukebox: ask questions, get blog entries. This week, for
whatever reason, I did not receive any questions from you. Rather than leaving this week's Ask Parvati blog silent, I thought I would share a bit about my daily internal process that helps me remain centred when faced with a busy life. Perhaps this will help shake out some more questions to send my way for next week's blog postings. Remember they need to be in by Thursday. Please send your questions to ask@parvatidevi.com.

 

We all have our ways to find our place of personal balance. Some like exercise, others prefer quiet time, while others love to get out in nature and go for a good long walk. Whatever works for you, go for it. Life is short and there is only one you through all time and space. So be the best you that you can be!

 

My "way in" is my spiritual practice, in particular, my meditation practice. Meditation may conjure images of sitting still and quietening the mind. Though my sitting practice is the foundation and heart of my meditation practice, meditation can be practiced at any time, any where, in any place because meditation is about being in non-resistance to what is. The quiet time I spend in sitting meditation is like priming the pump so that I may live my day feeling connected to a much greater whole.

 

Meditation is a discipline, a way to get out of the way and assist in the redirection of our negative tendencies towards a much greater whole. Our general, unawakened tendency is to see life through the lens of our ego, which wants to separate, categorize, divide and fight or flee. There is nothing wrong with that, per se, except that when we live our lives driven by our ego's whims, we inevitably suffer and cause suffering. At the end of the day, no one really wants that.

 

If we are to see meditation as a priming of the consciousness pump, then best to tap in when the atmosphere is the most still and unencumbered. That so happens to be between 4am and 6am. Since most of us don't get up at those hours, it is best to practice meditation when we first wake up, ideally early, around 5 or 6am, when the mind is still quiet and fresh from sleep. This way, we give ourselves a sort of head start into practicing stillness and opening to possibility. If we were to meditate say at 9am, or even later in the day such as at 2pm, the atmosphere is more agitated, filled with the business of the active, moving day. Our mind then too would be more agitated and our practice less profound.

 

Once we develop a daily meditation rhythm that helps us tap in to greater expansion, we may feel drawn to experience the stillness we find in meditation throughout the day. This takes practice. There are many techniques that can help us do this. This week, I will share a few things I do that help me bring my meditation practice from my sitting cushion into my busy day.

 

In the rush of it all, we can find it easy to forget to breathe. It is amazing how much we tend to hold our breath. When relaxed, our breath flows effortlessly in and out, like the ebb and flow of ocean waves. A relaxed breath helps our whole body relax. And when we are relaxed, we enjoy more and experience life more fully.

 

At any given time today, tune into your breath and see how it is flowing. If you find yourself holding, take a few deep breaths. If you find yourself breathing comfortably, take a few deep breaths and enjoy the flow of air. Life is amazing, and breathing is a big part of why we are alive!

 

I will share more mindfulness tips tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy the gift of this day!

Parvati

Ask Parvati 36: Compromise, Acceptance and Getting the Love You Want - Part 3: Acceptance and Insight

ACCEPTANCE AND INSIGHT

(Continued from Acceptance Versus Resignation)

 

Let's look at a simple relationship example, perhaps one you have experienced before. Your partner wants to go to the movies. You really want to stay home and tackle some unfinished household chores you both have left lingering that weigh on you. You don't get how he/she could want to go to the movies when these chores are pending. He/she does not get why you are so fixated on chores when there is fun to be had.

 

This pattern has been going on for some time in your relationship. In fact, when the topic of movies comes up, you feel resentment. In your eyes, your partner wants to "goof off" -- sigh! -- again. You want to be practical and move forward, unburden your lives by facing things that need attention. You don't want distractions. You want action.

 

From your partner's point of view, you don't have enough fun. You are too serious, wanting to plan for the future rather than live for the now and go out on the town and have fun. He/she feels you don't go out enough, and he/she needs more lightness in the relationship. Staying home and doing chores feels too confining.

 

If you were to give in, perhaps you would just go to the movie, telling yourself that it makes him/her happy. But then you begin to linger in resentment, because the house remains unattended and your needs are not met. This is not a win-win. To me, win-lose exchanges in a relationship are ultimately lose-lose. It is one of the poisons leading to eventual relationship demise. They are to be avoided.

 

If you were to quietly sit down and discuss together the options that make both of you happy and try to find a compromise, you may agree to do chores for part of the day, then take a break and go to the movies. If you feel good about that and so does he/she, then you have found a win-win.

 

Beyond compromise, is the notion of acceptance. If you are aware that your partner has a tendency to, in your opinion, want to "goof off", you must ask yourself what is really going on. Acceptance is your best friend. You must accept that your partner has this tendency, which is different than yours. You don't necessarily like this tendency, nor do you want to encourage it, but you accept it. Accepting it does not mean that you give in, and only go to the movies. Accepting means that you understand you have divergent tendencies and that in the co-creative flow, in a life-affirming relationship, in the state of balance there is room for both. Both of you are imperfect and evolving.

 

Different people with diverging tendencies often get together to help balance each other out and encourage personal growth. That may be the case in this example. If you feel rooted, vital and expansive when you go out to the movies a little more often than you usually would, and have a happy helper to tackle household chores, then your reality has expanded thanks to your relationship. We must strive for that kind of partnership, where our relationships help to broaden our sense of reality and our sense of self to include a bigger picture of life, to enrich who we are.

 

When you accept a tendency in your partner that is divergent from yours, you begin to see a bigger picture and feel less personally attacked when you partner does something that would not be your first choice. If you accept his/her tendency, you will see that likely, this weekend, the topic of a movie or going out on the town will come up. Rather than having your feathers ruffled, you will see your partner doing his/her thing, as it is. It may be an opportunity to see life through different eyes. It does not become a personal attack on your need to tend to household chores. In that place of acceptance, you can remain calm, understanding and ultimately loving for the need your partner is expressing. In that place of calm, you can also clearly express your needs: that even though you enjoy movies, and you would be open to that, you also want to make sure it does not eclipse the practical need for chores. By accepting your partner, you are also accepting yourself. In so doing you begin to see your partner more clearly and you also share yourself more fully.

 

If the need to go to the movies is all your partner ever wishes for and he/she does not want to do household chores, you need to vocalize this misbalance. If there is no budge, then perhaps you need to make a decision if this relationship is right for you. You may simply want different things, have different life priorities and personal goals. There is nothing wrong with that. People can part ways amicably. In fact, that is a sign that a breakup is the resolving of some unfinished karma. If you leave angry, judgmental or resentful, the likelihood is, you will meet similar patterns in your next partner until these patterns are clear in you.

 

When you start to accept a tendency in your partner, you begin to see beyond the need to go to the movies, for example, as an isolated issue. You begin to inquire into and ask yourself (or your partner, depending on how open he/she is), Where does this desire come from? Is it an expression of his/her joy? Is it a diversion? Does it help bring you out of your shell because you are scared to let loose? Is it actually a way he/she hides from his/her fear of making commitments and building for your future? Does the tendency come from hiding or opening?

 

Acceptance creates a seedbed for insight to grow. When we accept what is, our consciousness opens to meet it. We can then see the moment in fullness, for what it is and make wiser, more compassionate choices.

 

With greater compassion and understanding, the next time the topic of the movie comes up, you see the bigger picture. You see your flow, you see his/her flow. You also know that there is a whole, supporting each one of you together and individually. There is balance somewhere, waiting for you, that you can invite in.

 

Part of this week's question was when do you know if you should stay in a relationship. Tomorrow we will look at Getting The Love You Want.

 

Enjoy the day,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 36: Relationships: Compromise, Acceptance and Getting the Love You Want - Part 2: Acceptance Versus Resignation

ACCEPTANCE VERSUS RESIGNATION

(Continued from Balanced Compromise)

Compromise is different from acceptance. After we make a compromise, we learn to accept our choices. If we choose not to compromise, we also must accept our choices. We can easily mistake acceptance for powerlessness, as though the word were synonymous with "throwing in the towel" and resignation. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Acceptance is a powerful place. In fact, true change only begins once acceptance occurs. We may want to change our partner. We can try to push him/her into doing what we want over and over again. But that will only lead to two people feeling unhappy. If we want change, we must soberly look at what is and accept it, which means not trying to push our will into trying to change the way things are to suit our needs.

To accept is to be in non-resistance to what is. Acceptance is active in a non-forceful way. It is dynamic in a quiet way. Acceptance is alive, because when we are acceptant, we flow with the force of life. Think of nature. The flower is. It is in a state of acceptance of its flower nature. It is not trying to change things. It is in flow with the force of life.

Being passive is closer to being resigned. When we are passive, we could be very much in discord with what is, resistant to it, angry at it, hating it, resenting it. In this passive state, there is no acceptance. We are energetically against what is. In this, there is much unhappiness.

When we are acceptant of what is, we can meet the moment. We open. We can see more options, feel more joy, share more love, tap into the infinite source of love that is all around. When we are acceptant, we love.

Being acceptant does not mean that we like all this moment brings. Maybe this moment is full of horror and atrocities. If we are passive in the face of such, we immobilize ourselves and thwart the possibility of change. If we are aggressive in the face of such, we may implicate ourselves into the whirlwind of the horror. When we accept what is, without necessarily agreeing with it, we find tremendous creativity and possibility.

Intimate relationships are active, alive entities that exist between two people. It is part one person, part the other person and part something that is from neither. I do not think that relationship are two halves that make a whole, but two wholes that co-create possibility. We can find this kind of "positive possibilities" relationship only when we are willing to accept what is and be responsible to manage our own energies, not try to change others.

I have never understood the term "agree to disagree". It just does not make sense. Where is the co-creation in that? To me, that is resignation said politely. To me, that is relationship death. I believe in every moment there is a place of golden resonance, where two people can expand and tap into vitality. If both people are not willing to go there, it can be harder to find together. But it does not mean that you cannot find that place of expansion and beauty. Perhaps, once you have tapped into that bounty, your partner will be more inspired to go there as well, without you trying to make that decision for him/her.

When we are fixated on trying to choose between an either/or, we tend to feel unhappy with both. I am sure you have been there. You are caught in a dilemma. You feel you have to choose between option A or option B. Neither feels right. But you cannot see any other option. You feel pressure to make a decision. From my experience, if A and B both feel off, then you must choose C. The thing is, we often cannot see C so we don't know how to choose it.

The third option is born out of acceptance and non-resistance. It is often somewhere between two extremes. Our mind tends to work in opposites. We think good/bad, ugly/beautiful, happy/sad… It is part of our human nature to think in extremes.

The Buddha, thousands of years ago called his path "The Middle Way". The expansive, enlightened choice often is the third option, the middle way, somewhere between A and B. Not necessarily as a literal cutting down the middle, but a third option that feels balanced between two. Acceptance opens us to the middle way so that we do not get stuck with A or B. When we are not stuck on either, C may arise. C was always there. We were just too busy thinking only A or B existed to see it.

There is a wonderful story in traditional yogic teachings of the monkey and the banana. How do you trap a monkey? You place a banana in a metal cage and wait for the monkey to come and grab it. When it does, it cannot pull the long thin banana through the cage bars. Its mind so fixated on wanting that banana, it does not see if it turned the banana sideways, its arm would slip right through the bars. We are often like that, because we are busy fighting what is, due to our attachments. When we practice acceptance, we gain insight and option C opens to us.

Tomorrow I will look at what finding insight through acceptance looks like with a real life example in Acceptance and Insight.

Till then,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 36: Compromise, Acceptance and Getting the Love You Want - Part 1: Balanced Compromise

Dear Parvati,

I'm in a long-term relationship with someone I love, but I find my partner challenging at times, which makes me sometimes doubt whether I'm in the right relationship. Some people tell me I give too much -- others tell me I need to give more! I'm confused. How do you know if you're in the right relationship? When is compromise and acceptance letting yourself get walked all over, and when are they part of spiritual growth and learning to truly love? Thanks for your insight.

 

PART 1: BALANCED COMPROMISE

 

Thank you for these questions. Whether you are in a long term relationship or simply moving through the day interacting with people around you, learning how to compromise, when to accept and when to move on, are skills we all must learn along our path to wholeness.

 

We have all met people who do not like to compromise and resist doing so. They somehow manage to manipulate situations to get their way, either through twisted charm, temper tantrums, dramatic diversions, guilt strategies, bullying techniques or passive denial. Even if these people are supposedly "getting what they want", I don't believe that they truly are happy if they behave that way.

 

In each moment, there is perfect balance. When we give more than what is in rightful balance, another person is taking more than what is their fair share. If you feel taken advantage of, or left with more than what is rightfully yours, then something is out of balance. These kind of energy exchanges happen every day of our lives. We pay the ticketed price for a purchase. We thank people for their hard work or we get a pay cheque for the hours we have put in. We take what is rightfully ours and give what feels sincere. Acting this way keeps our lives in balance and keeps us whole, spiritual beings.

 

In each moment, we are individuals held within a perfect whole. So though we are here, living our lives on this earth, there is also a huge, expansive intelligence which is within us and surrounds us. In fact, we are part of a vast universe, never alone. We are always part of that wholeness, loved, supported, complete. It is our habit to see ourselves as separate.

 

Being able to compromise is a skill that comes from understanding this bigger picture, beyond what is just before us. When we are rooted in the bigger picture, we can tap into the fullness of abundance, rather than grasping at scarcity. The bully, the one who always gets his or her way, is in scarcity, not in abundance, even if they seem to always get what they want and may even live in the lap of luxury. When we look at life from the vantage point of wholeness, any given situation becomes less about "you" and "me" and more about balanced flow within a greater whole. When we are simultaneously aware of our flow and the greater whole, we feel balanced, loved and alive. From this perspective, compromise must feel balanced in order for it to be rooted in dharmic (righteous) spiritual alignment. True compromise is not born from feeling "less than".

 

When we think, eat, speak and do things that are not in alignment with our highest good, we lose our vital energy. If you tune in, you will see that when you are out of alignment, you start to feel spaced out, listless, weak or ungrounded. When you are in flow, in your centre, you will feel rooted, vital and expansive. To make compromises that are in alignment, that are both personally  empowering and win-win, we must understand what alignment feels like.

 

Each person, in every situation, will have different responses. No two people are alike. But I believe we all feel aligned when we feel energized and as though we are growing. Not forcibly, but through feeling tapped into life's immense river. Sure, there are growing pains at times, but when we are in alignment with evolution, the expansion we experience brings us energy, fullness, not depletion. So compromise must feel ultimately rooted, vital and expansive for it to be in alignment.

 

Next time you begin to make a compromise, ask yourself this simple question: "Does this make me feel rooted, vital and expansive?" If your answer is no, you need to go deeper and find a different solution. If your answer is yes, go ahead and make that choice.

 

Compromise is different than acceptance, though they are closely linked. Tomorrow we will look at the nature of acceptance, and how that differs from resignation in Acceptance Versus Resignation.

 

Thanks again for this question. I look forward to answering it throughout the week.

Enjoy!

Parvati

Ask Parvati 34: The Journey to YEM - Part 5: My Practice Today

My Practice Today

(Continued from The Healing Begins)

Life Is Yoga

 

The question I was asked this week led me to sharing more about myself than I ever have in a blog. I am grateful for the opportunity to share about myself. So how has yoga affected my life? I feel yoga is my life, so I don’t know how to separate myself from Yoga to express how it affected my life.

 

Yoga is life. It is everything. It is the way the branches of each tree converge and make entirely unique patterns in each tree. It is within the mystery of life unfolding and it is the mystery itself. It is the gut “knowing” we all have from deep within and it is within the surrendered not knowing.

 

After two teacher training programs and much in depth study since those early years of practice and awakening, Yoga now forms the root of my being. It creates the foundation of the way I receive the moment, the way I process information, the way I experience life.

 

When I say "yoga", I don’t mean bendy, physical exercises. Those are only a small part of a broad life science. Ultimately, Yoga is about merging back with the one source of pure consciousness, dissolving our identification with our ego, with feeling separate. Yoga is built upon the practice of humility, letting go and surrender. When we allow ourselves to release, we return to flow with a force much greater than our individual will. We begin to live in rhythm with the infinite, as a witness to the finite, rather than bound by the finite, wondering if the infinite exists.

 

My Practice Today

 

In my current practice, Yoga is about witnessing and cultivating a balanced state of being in each moment, softening to a rooted and surrendered state that is part of a much bigger flow. In that state, the notion of separation begins to release and I find a unity with a immensity beyond the sense of "me".

 

The Hatha Yoga Pradipika speaks of the need for yogis to cultivate "sukha and stira", a balanced state of being neither too relaxed nor too alert. I tuck that away in the back of my mind and let it be the backdrop of my day, a sort of canvas upon which the events of the day can be painted. I refer to this throughout the day, and inquire into how I am interacting with my environment, with others and with myself. I find this very useful to keep the notion of Yoga alive in each moment throughout the day. Ultimately, what else is there? Are we not all ultimately merging back to the one, each one of us more receptive to such in our own way?

 

When we take the notion of "sukha and stira" and apply it to our way of thinking (not just to the way we move or breathe as we would in a Hatha Yoga practice), we learn to be alert and receptive in each moment, finding a balance between being relaxed and focus, neither stressed nor spaced out. I find that very useful in the pace of today's world. Our mind broadens and becomes more perceptive and able to receive information and possibilities.

 

Each moment is full of information, which we can receive by softening or reject by reacting to it and shutting down. My breath is my best friend. By being aware of how I am breathing, I can see immediately how I am thinking. Throughout the day, I ask myself: "Am I holding my breath? Is my breath flowing? Do I feel the interconnection through the breath between the world beyond my skin and the world behind my skin?" Yoga is the way in which I choose to practice walking on the Earth, neither stepping sheepishly nor too aggressively. Yoga is the way I choose to practice balance in relationship, open to a co-creative, fluid, win-win experience that resonates inwardly and feels harmonious outwardly.

 

To me, the way in is sitting meditation. It is like priming the pump of consciousness so that it flows in abundance throughout the day. Though I still do physical practice, the majority of my practice revolves around sitting and walking meditation.

 

YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine

 

The years of exploring the meaning of Yoga and how to integrate it into my life led to a deeper listening to an arising from within. That arising guided my physical yoga practice and brought grounded meaning to my day. I don't feel I "created" YEM. It blossomed through my life experience.

 

YEM aims to both infuse the body/being with consciousness and awaken the inner intelligence already present within the body/being. It awakens vital energy through mindful breathing, meditations, vital energy work and subtle attention to yoga postures. It guides the practitioner more deeply into the body, into the present. This is done through exercises that clear the body’s energy channels (nadis), in order to master vital energy (prana and shakti), and tap into unlimited power and ease (samadhi).

 

When beginning with YEM, there are two suggested points of focus: the flow of breath and the sensations that run through the body. The aim of all forms of yoga is to experience the oneness of body, mind and spirit. The breath acts as an interface between that which we perceive as outside our self and that which we experience within. The breath moves continuously within and without. Focusing our awareness on the breath assists the dissolve of the sense of division between what we see as outside our self (other) and that which we feel is within (mine).

 

The objective of breath awareness is to eventually experience a greater sense of personal wholeness and oneness with all things. It assist us in becoming simultaneously more globally aware and personally centered. Awareness on the inhalation draws our awareness inward, into our body/being. Awareness of the sensations within our body allows us to feel more at home in our body and anchor the experience of our breath in a tangible way. Focus on the exhalation allows for expansion and release.

 

There is tremendous spaciousness and ease inherent in the aerial quality of the breath. That spaciousness is brought into the body/being on the inhalation and is allowed to permeate through the body/being on the exhalation.

 

Breath and sensation are continuously interrelating. An embodied, yogic state is an expression of the dance between spirit and matter. The Sanskrit word Tantra, a branch of yoga, means "to weave" or "to expand". In this way, yoga is about weaving a dance between spirit (breath) and matter (body) while liberating dormant potential energies and infusing the body/being with consciousness. Focus on the interplay between breath and sensation becomes a meditation on the relationship between spirit and matter and allows for greater synergy between these two.

 

YEM is distinguished by integrating specific key points of awareness, such as:

 

1) Downward moving energy: Gravity anchors the body/being to the center of the Earth.

2) Upward moving energy: Inspiration connects us infinitely towards the cosmos.

3) The spine: The body’s central channel of universal energy.

4) Two-way-moving energy: In all poses there is at least two-way energy at all times.

5) Pelvic tilt: This is an expression of belly breathing. Our center of gravity is just below the navel. A tailbone tilt on the exhale releases energy downward so that subsequent upward moving energy can arise through the body and float into the crown.

6) Breath awareness: The breath is an interface between body, mind, spirit and soul. Focusing on this clears the subtle channels of the body and allows for integration of body, mind, spirit and soul.

7) Emotional awareness: Emotions bridge the physical and intellectual bodies. By practicing mindfulness, one comes more fully into the present, where healing and transformation occur.

8) Circuit breakers: The first cervical vertebrae (C1) at the very top of the neck, and the tailbone (the coccyx) at the base of the spine, when properly aligned, allow for upward and downward moving energy.

9) Body intelligence: Inherent intelligence exists within the body to be simultaneously released and cultivated. Through breath awareness we infuse the body/being with consciousness and awaken inner intelligence.

10) Global balance: Develop a balanced state of being that is both relaxed pleasure-delight (sukha) and firm alertness (stira).

11) Spaciousness: Allow room for the breath to permeate your body/being by doing 80% your maximum. Create spaciousness and ease rather than tension and compression.

12) Co-creation: When in a integrated state of being, a flowing pulse moves through the spine and radiates throughout the body. It is available in every posture. It is an expression of the co-creative interplay between downward and upward moving energy, rooting us in the personal and opening us to the global.

 

Tomorrow I will post the answer to a new question, continuing to post thoughts on that topic through the week. You can submit your question for the following week by emailing ask@parvatidevi.com.

 

En-joy,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 28: Enlightenment and Emotions - Part 1: What Is Enlightenment?

ENLIGHTENMENT AND EMOTIONS

Dear Parvati,

When a person is enlightened do they still respond to human emotions the same way that, lets say, the average person would?

PART 1: WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT?

Thank you for this question. It is an important question in that there are many misconceptions about enlightenment, mostly because most of us are not yet fully enlightened. If we are lucky, we may have glimpses. But enlightenment is something most of us actually know very little about from personal experience.

They say that only the enlightened can recognize an enlightened being. So not yet being fully realized myself, I can only imagine what the end “goal” would be and how a fully realized being would respond to emotions. I have a sense based on what I have experienced and through learning from great masters.

Due to this, I feel it appropriate to talk about emotions and enlightenment in this blog referring to the body of experience that I can offer and in drawing upon to wisdom of the great masters that guide our way.

Unlike book learning, wisdom that comes from experience resonates in complete understanding through our entire being. There have been periods in my life of blissful flow and oneness, but not in a permanent way. I also experience states of division, separation and suffering. My journey is not yet complete. So we rely on the guidance of the great masters such as the Buddha and Christ to provide us with the tools and roadmaps to direct our journey to enlightenment.

So what is enlightenment? I understand enlightenment to be part of every human being’s destiny. We each are called to this state, to reach the “goal” (as some traditions call it) at some point through our many incarnations. In truth, we are one with pure consciousness. The process of our soul’s evolution involves a purification of our distorted perceptions so that we may realize our true, divine nature. This process is of personal benefit, and also of benefit to all beings, as we are all connected.

In the Hindu tradition, there is an understanding of four primary goals of human existence: dharma (righteousness), artha (wealth), kama (desire) and moksha (liberation). It is said that of these, the highest dharma is moksha, the experience of full realization.

There are various stages of enlightenment. In the early stages, we begin to awaken and realize that there is more to life than wanting and our perceptions. We start to question the nature of the mind and the grip of the ego. Then there are various stages of purification of the mind as the ego dissolves and we feel more interconnection. As we evolve, the ego holds less power and we slowly merge back to the One. Finally, we reside in a permanent state of oneness with pure, divine consciousness and feel a unity with all that is. In this final stage, we are no longer identified with the body or the mind. We have transcended even death itself.

The fully realized being, my guru, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, lovingly known as Amma or Mother, speaks eloquently of the dissolution of the ego:

“Within the bud of the ego, it is dark and narrow. When the bud gives way and the flower emerges, everything becomes beautiful and pervaded by the most glorious light. You come out of the dark into radiant light, from imprisonment to freedom, from ignorance to true knowledge. This world of diversity is transformed into perfect oneness. It happens within you, not externally.”

It is my understanding that when we return to the One, the final stage of enlightenment, we see all that is as a reflection of pure consciousness. All that is, is divine. In this state, we don’t have emotional reactions but still have the capacity for emotion, while abiding in the equanimous state of pure compassion.

This is a very sophisticated state of being, one very few know, one that is true mastery. Such a state involves the absolute dissolution of the ego, of any notion of duality or separation and the complete merging into the flow of pure consciousness. When we are in the One, it is my understanding that we are in a permanent state of unity with the world, with the universe and with all of creation.

Amma speaks of this state of being with first hand experience:

“As the realization that everything is pervaded with Divine Consciousness dawns within you, you also see that every human being, everything in creation, is already Divine. The only difference is that you know that you and they are one with Divinity, but they do not. It is only a question of uncovering the truth.”

In the Bhagavad Gita, the sacred Hindu text, Krishna tells Arjuna that an enlightened being sees all things equally and loves all things equally. This passage expresses some of this notion:

“By seeing the Ultimate Consciousness equally everywhere, impartially situated, one does not degrade the embodied self, by the self; therefore reaching the supreme goal.” (Bhagavad Gita, 13:29)

So then how do we embody such a sophisticated state of equanimity and balance? The masters tell us, the answers lie right here, in the eternal now.

(Continued tomorrow with Enlightenment Now)

Ask Parvati 25: Depression and Despair - Part 3: Beyond The Veil And Into The Cave

PART 3: DEPRESSION: BEYOND THE VEIL AND INTO THE CAVE

(Continued from Witnessing Despair)

Depression is like a dark, heavy veil that masks our ability to see the light. Whether or not it is clinical, it is due to a change in the chemistry in our brain. But what is the source of that chemical change? There is nothing in this life that is purely physical that is not also connected to the unseen in some way. We are not strictly physical beings that are unaffected by emotions, thoughts and spiritual laws. The field of pure consciousness always is. We may see ourselves as separate, but we are always held within the whole.

When we are depressed, unlike despair, we have temporarily lost our desire to engage the world. But perhaps that is ok. Unlike despair that calls for understanding and release, depression can be a cue to go deeper. When we meet depression with a sense of attention and kindness, without judgment, we may find that we are being invited by our soul to go within, to enter the cave of our hidden mysteries. We live busy and often disconnected lives. Easily caught up in what others think, how we appear in society, how others look in the media, we can lose touch with our own, unique inner voice. Depression just may be calling us to go within.

Our personal health, just like the universe as a whole, moves to sustain balance. When we have expressed too much outward energy, we are drawn to move more inward. If we remain too inward, we must also move out. Depression may be a cue that we need to regain balance and adjust our inner and outer relationship.

It is good to create some discipline in your life, a little bit like cave housecleaning. Doing inner work is essential in depression. Going inward to ask yourself questions, to get to know yourself better, to make friends with your soul are essential to releasing the energy trapped in the feeling of stagnant depression.

At the same time, go for daily walks, even just for five minutes. If you already do that, go to the gym or join a fitness class. But keep your very important inner work alive. Invite the wisdom of depression into your life. It just might be your soul trying to get your attention, saying that you need to make some changes in your life.

When we take this gentler, more internal and inquisitive approach to depression, it is healthy to also maintain certain external activity, to help keep a balanced state of consciousness. If you tend to have more of an extroverted life, then book time with a therapist where you can be supported to go inward. Start journal writing where you can express your deepest feelings and freely explore your internal landscape. Regularly take a bath and treat yourself to the nurturing, cave-like warmth with the addition of some Epsom salts for relaxation, and fragrant essential oils to soothe and inspire, like bergamot, lemon or rose.

Most of all, when you feel depressed, make friends with yourself by getting to know what you are really feeling. Avoid medicating with things like ice cream and cakes. That will only keep you stuck and trying to stuff down and silence your voice. Go inside in a way that feels safe for you. And do some activity. When you go within, you likely will find that you tend to beat yourself up and get down on yourself quite a bit. That is because depression usually has a connection to unexpressed anger and feelings we have not yet released.

(Continues tomorrow with Depression And Anger)

 

 

 

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga Is Everywhere, Part 7 - Being Relaxed And Alert

BEING RELAXED AND ALERT

(Continued from Tantra)

 

There are many faces of Yoga. Ultimately, yoga (that is, the face of the divine) is everywhere. If you feel stuck on your yogic path and you feel you need to expand and try something new, ask yourself a few important questions before any big changes:

 

- What motivates my desire for change?

- Is the desire to move coming from a place of agitation and constriction or from a place of expansion and ease?

- Is this period of transition a reflection of me having met aspects of myself I find challenging and am trying to avoid by changing my practice?

- Is this the voice of my soul guiding me to expand into new areas of possibility?

 

As a rule of thumb, when I first started my sitting meditation practice, I would allow for the voice that said “enough, time to go” to come knocking three times before I got up from my cushion. Our minds are hungry. We tend to be agitated. Our egos want. We are habituated to feeding these tendencies. Spiritual practice is about overcoming and retraining these tendencies so that we may experience eternal bliss. We must therefore train our mind into moving through and beyond these hungers so that we may be truly fulfilled.

 

I believe deeply in the notion that digging many holes leads to just a lot of incomplete holes. But by digging one hole deeply, you will strike gold. It is important to stick with a practice, but one must do so with a sense of serious delight, focused playfulness and surrendered joy.

 

If you feel you are not moving away from your practice from a place of avoidance, always trust your gut when you feel drawn to try something new. Another rule of thumb is that that which feels rooted, vital and expansive supports your highest good and, as such, the highest good of all. That which feels constrictive and ungrounded is not in your highest good and is best released.

 

I do believe we are on the planet to have fun, to experience the bliss of the divine. We learn in both Hatha yoga and meditation practice to balance that which is alert and that which is relaxed. Discipline, when overly rigid, limits. But too much free flow is unguided and has no clear avenue for expression.

 

If you have developed a practice that is disciplined, keep that fire alive. It will serve you well. If you need more flow, do so in ways that bring delight into your life. See if you can shift your practice into a sense of freshness. What has been habitual may be experienced as new, with a beginner’s mind.

 

Ease up where you have been tight or pushy. Apply more attention where you may have been missing aspects of the practice. But above all, remember that yoga is not limited to your mat. Yoga is in how you perceive your mat as well as how you stand on it. Yoga is everywhere.

 

May we become fully awake so as to experience yoga everywhere, always.

May we all realize oneness soon.

Jai Ma,

Parvati

 

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga is Everywhere - Part 1, Freedom in Freedom

TANTRA: YOGA IS EVERYWHERE

Dear Parvati,
I started studying yoga ten years ago. I have traveled to India, taken teacher training programs, and adhered strongly to an orthodox yoga style. Now I find my practice shifting. Rather than doing rigorous asana (yoga exercises), I want to explore a more playful sense of moment-to-moment mindfulness. As I follow this, I find my asana practice moving away from the pattern I have followed for so long.
I really like your song Yoga In The Nightclub and it got me thinking about this juncture I am at. When is yoga actually yoga? Just because you call something yoga doesn't make it yoga, does it? If, as you say, yoga is everywhere, even in a nightclub, why wouldn't my current practice still be yoga?

FREEDOM IN FREEDOM

Anything in our lives can become binding. We can feel joyfully free while jogging, later to find that running feels like a constrictive chore. We can find freedom in the new yoga classes we just adore, to later find that we are bored with the teacher and the routines. We can experience heights of bliss never before experienced when we first take up meditating, until we hit bumpy bits in our psyche when sitting practice starts to feel more like listening to nails on a chalkboard than to sweet, angelic music.

For years, I was religious about my yoga asana practice. I woke up and first thing, practiced every day without fail. I had to. Somehow I felt wonky if I did not. My day would unfold more smoothly when I did and I loved that feeling. Yoga and meditation provided (and still provide) an unequaled opportunity for centering, inner spaciousness and evolutionary support. But anything we do can turn from expansive to constrictive. Soon I began to feel confined by my yoga and meditation practice.

In my highly disciplined Hatha yoga practice, I hit a wall. I began to feel stiff rather than relaxed. I began to feel agitated, rather than expansive. I was no longer getting my fix from what I called my meditation medication. So I went deeper.

The practice started to reveal to me ways in which I was hard on myself. In some unconscious way, I felt that if I did not do the practice, I was a bad person. The drive that had led me to doing very well at school and university, that also drove me to wanting people’s approval, had now shown up as a sour motivator in my spiritual pursuits.

I turned more inward and listened to the impulses that made me feel expansive. I listened to joy and how it moved through my being. How did joy express itself through my being? I knew enough to know that living by “shoulds” would only lead to unhappiness. I knew that trusting that still small voice within would lead to greater and greater joy. It, after all, had led me to meditating and doing Hatha yoga in the first place. Where did that voice want to lead me? What did it want? How could I get out of the way and serve it?

(Continues tomorrow with Yoga Flowers)

Ask Parvati 17: Standing Your Ground, Part 4: Yoga, Ground, Rebound

PART FOUR: Yoga, Ground, Rebound

 

(Continued from: Witness, Release)

 

The practice of yoga has been one of my great teachers. Through various yogic techniques, I have been shown how to be more comfortable within my body, more present in the moment and more aware of how this sense of individual self is one within a greater whole.

 

Each yoga asana (pose) offers a precise and unique way to learn how energy flows through our body/being. Specifically designed to encourage the flow of vital, life-force energy in certain directions, yoga asana can teach us how to live rooted, vital and expansive, meeting what is with grace and ease.

 

As we allow ourselves to relax, our body settles into the ground and our vital energy naturally moves downward toward the Earth. If we are quietly watching at that time, we begin to realize that there is an equally strong presence that meets and supports us, rising up under our feet, moving energy upward and into our body. It is as if when we ground, there is an energy rebound. I first came into contact with this concept thanks to wonderful yoga teaching of the late Esther Myers and her teacher Vanda Scaravelli. The insights they shared pointed to elements in what would later become my yogic expression, YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine.

 

For me, there are two zero points in yoga, one horizontal, one vertical. They are the foundations upon which other poses are build, points of reference we can consider as we move through more complex physical sequences. The horizontal zero point is called in Sanskrit savasana or corpse pose. It consists of lying on your back, feet about one foot apart and arms alongside the body.

 

The vertical zero point is called tadasana or the mountain pose. Let’s give it a try. Standing erect, feet hip width apart, which means you have the distance of one of your feet between your feet. Your knees are neither locked nor bent, simply relaxed. Let your navel move gently back towards the spine. The tailbone tilts slightly inward towards the front of your body so that it releases like a plumb line towards the Earth. Your eyes are fixed on a point in front of you, as the crown of the head broadens and floats gently upward towards the sky. Shoulders are relaxed.

 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Allow your awareness of your breath to deepen, allowing your breath to be natural, not forced. Notice what you feel in your body. Imagine that your spine is the central channel of energy that runs through your body/being. It connects the sky and the earth through you.

 

Scan your body. Where do you hold tension in your body? Where do you feel relaxed? Can you allow yourself to continue to open, to release, to feel a flow within a whole? Let your feet root and settle into the ground. Feel the energy move downward, towards the core of the Earth. Feel your feet.

 

Notice the crown of your head. Let it float, effortlessly, upward. Feel your connection to the cosmos, the whole. As your feet release into the ground, the Earth meets you and a wave of energy flows up through your body towards the crown of your head.

 

Allow the connection between your feet and your head become a whole, so that you are rooted in the awareness of your physical sensations, the energy the flows through your body and you are aware more globally of you sense of place within the whole. Feel within. Feel without. Feel the flow between the inner and the outer and let these become one.

 

Practice this when you are standing in line at the supermarket, at the bus stop. Whenever you are standing, you can practice finding your sacred ground. That way, the next time you feel you have to stand your ground, you will be rooted both within yourself and within the whole. You will feel your own sense of worth from your connection to the eternal cosmos, rather than willfully from your finite ego. You will see the temptation to react as a teaching from the divine, offering you lessons to deepen your awareness as the infinite being that you are.

 

May you dance in the infinite upon sacred ground.

Parvati

Ask Parvati 10: The Power of Letting Go

THE POWER OF LETTING GO

May 1, 2011

Dear Parvati,

I am a bit type A, tending to take charge of situations. I feel good about how much I can get done even under pressure, but I find that afterwards I feel exhausted, headachey, stressed and grumpy. People suggest to me that I need to learn to let go, but I have a hard time relating to that. I think that if I let go, everything would fall apart and I wouldn’t know where to start again. Yet, for some reason, I keep hearing their words in my mind, to let go. How can I begin to let go of some of the stress and not freak out about not being in control?

LEARNING TO LET GO

Thank you for your question. It is spring and the force of nature is churning. As the trees sprout leaves and flowers burst into life, we can feel an impulse to get active in an attempt to shed physical and psychological winter weight from our lives. Whether you are a type A personality or not, we can overdo these times of seasonal transition and end up with colds, allergies and other physical symptoms, ways our bodies let us know that we had best slow down and learn to let go.

Because the mind tends to only know two ways of thinking, to move towards something we like or to move away something we don't, we try to push away things we no longer want. Trying to push or pull at life is like trying to move mountains. Sooner or later we end up exhausted and come to realize that there is a force in life that is much greater than our limited ego or will. Whether we end up flat on our backs with a broken heart, a massive cold, a lost job or just plain wrung out from too much effortful living, the wise words "let go" or "surrender" start to come to mind.

OPENING TO POSSIBILITIES

For most of us, the notion of surrendering can be quite bewildering, conjuring images of "throwing in the towel", giving in or even becoming roadkill to someone else's overpowering will. From the point of view of the ego, surrendering may seem like we are giving up and somehow taking a loss. But when we look deeper, we see that nothing could be further from the truth.

The ancient text called the Hatha Yoga Pradipika speaks of sukha-sthira, finding a balanced yogic state that is neither just relaxed nor just alert, but a union of the two. Artists, dancers, athletes and business people have expressed finding that balanced flow when they experience peak performances. In that flow, the individual has tapped into a much greater whole. There is no defensive holding on to the ego. One has surrendered to ride within a force that is much greater than the limited sense of self.

When we are stressed, our field of perception narrows. This is a remnant of our past need to run for our lives when chased by a lion in the jungle. This focus serves our need to survive. But when habitually used as a day-to-day stress response, the narrow sight means we often tend to miss a lot. By allowing ourselves to let go of the fear of the proverbial jungle lion (be it our boss, our partner, our parents or whatever we fear), our field of vision expands and we see more fully. In so doing, we tap into a greater field of possibility and flow within a greater whole. In this way, we have access to more options, more choice, more power. As we learn to let go, we may find that the phone call we had anxiously been waiting for suddenly happens or cash for an outstanding bill arrives at our door. We may see the broken step on the stairs and avoid a painful tumble. As we let go, we get out of our own way and learn to receive the support that inherently exists within nature. 

NATURAL SUPPORT

Let us look at nature. The chrysalis that transforms into a butterfly, does it doubt, angst and stress over the process it undergoes? Or is the cocooned creature in a surrendered state held perfectly within an intelligent whole? Really think about it. When the flower springs from the soil, is it thinking "gotta get it right" or "gotta work harder"? Or is it simply being, expressing a flow within the whole?

The same for the budding leaves on the tree branches, the thawing ice, the animals awakening. Can you imagine the hibernating bear coming out in a rush from its cave with the thought, "Man! I gotta hurry. I am going to be late again"? Yet how many of us wake up everyday, supposedly refreshed, already feeling stressed and having somehow failed? That is the baggage we carry. That is the story we place over our lives. That is not our fullest, most natural self, but what we have become habituated to be, usually as an expression of the ego to feel greater than or less than another as a distorted cry for love we perceive is not there. We tend to hold on to stress, fearing the jungle lion even when the lion exists only in our imagination. This fear exists because deep down we don't feel love or loved.

But is there no love? Do we need to rely on that story of rush, push and pull to make us feel better? Ultimately, does not our push/pull make us suffer? Remember the chrysalis perfectly cocooned. Would nature take such perfect care of that caterpillar and abandon us? Or have we somehow, somewhere along our life path let go of our connection to nature instead? We believe our own distorted perceptions and go running because a coiled rope looks like a cobra to our dulled eyes. Nature is not doing that "to" us. We do that to ourselves. We place the disconnected story on each perfect moment. Ah! Beautiful butterfly that it does not have the busy mind we do, that surrenders to its magnificent transformation and flies free!

For nature, life just is. Resting into this "isness" is surrender. Surrender is gentle, quiet, powerful, active, alive, vital...because it relies on a state of feeling connected, interconnected, a part of it all. We are constantly held within the whole, cradled in a perfect life-force cocoon, completely loved, fully supported and totally cared for. Our minds may be attached to distortions that tell us otherwise, but that does not change the fact that the loving support is here, if we are willing to let go and receive.

FLOW WITHIN THE WHOLE

Part of our human journey is the return to that One state, that flow, that sense of being rooted, vital and expansive within an intelligent whole. We tend to see ourselves as separate, either by expressing wanting through “craving this” or “repulsed by that”, or by altogether feeling fundamentally disconnected and alienated from all that is. It seems these extremes are deeply buried in our psyche, part of the human condition. As we move through life, we learn to meet the moment as an opportunity to purify our perceptions and eventually transcend the trickiness of our ego so that we may rest in the fullness of who we are. And who are we anyway, if not ultimately one with all that is, a playful expression of the Divine?

Next time you feel the impulse to rush to your next meeting, or feel that feisty urge that wants to make you right and others wrong, or you want to push through to the next to-do item on your agenda without really meeting the task at hand, remember that tiny cocoon and know that you are one and the same. In every moment, you are cradled by an immense love that fully supports you through whatever life process you are experiencing. That love is always available, 24/7, unconditionally. It is our human birthright.

If we could be a bit more like the trees, rivers, butterflies and flowers, we might find ourselves a lot healthier, happier and wise. And what better time to feel inspired to surrender to and be part of such immensity than during the bursting power of life now upon us this spring. Do yourself a favor and go say hello to the budding trees. Notice how they do not struggle to be, but are in a rapturous state of deep surrender. Rooted in the rich Earth, trunks strong, growing up to meet the sky, the tree's leaves dance in the flowing wind. Watch carefully. That tree is flowing within the whole, just as you. Through nature we can see our true nature and learn the power of letting go.

     

Ask Parvati 8: How To Find The Right Yoga Practice and Teacher For You

How To Find The Right Yoga Practice and Teacher For You

Dear Parvati,

I would like to get into yoga classes, but I feel overwhelmed by all of the choices and styles. How can I tell what kind of yoga class will actually be good for me and suits my body and temperament? What should I look for in a yoga teacher?

Various Kinds of Yoga

Yoga is a 5,000-year-old life science and art. It touches upon many topics and areas of inquiry, such as herbal medicine, meditative and contemplative practices, ritual, chanting, astrology and sound – just to name a few. The yoga most commonly known in the West is Hatha yoga, a practice that cultivates the experience of a balanced and unified state of being through physical exercises. The Sanskrit word yoga means to join or to yoke, to unify. All practices that are said to be yogic would have the development of a harmonious way of life and ultimate God-realization as their goal.

The balancing and purifying principles that are at the root of Hatha yoga have found broad appeal around the world, as the benefits of stretching, strengthening and relaxation are immediately evident, and the cultivation of inner peacefulness is available for those who are willing.

In the yogic tradition, there is a saying: The paths are many, but the truth is one. Whether you choose Iyengar, Ashtanga, Scaravelli, Sivananda, Kripalu, Bikram, Kundalini, Vinyasa, Yin Yoga, Anusara, Moksha, Jivamukti… you are ultimately doing a hatha yoga practice, which is using the body as a tool to experience a harmonious relationship between spirit and matter. There are many different types of hatha yoga practices, because there are many types of people. It is not appropriate, for example, for someone who tends to run hot to do a heating yoga practice. Nor is it appropriate for one who tends to be heavy in body and mind to do a practice that is particularly slow (non-dynamic).

For example, Ashtanga practice is very popular today. It is a powerful practice and has many benefits. It is a practice that cultivates heat and, as such, is appropriate for some, but not everyone. The heat generated in the practice is an internal heat geared to purify the physical body but also the subtler channels and the spiritual body. A particularly feisty go-getter type person may be attracted to the heat in this practice, feeling that they like the vigorous workout. However, this can often add more heat to an already overheated system. So, though a person may run from the boardroom and slip into a yoga class, and dash off to their next appointment, in effect they have not truly paused to do yoga. They have kept their heated go-getter engine on throughout the yoga class and on into the next thing. I have seen, in the years of my yoga therapy work with individuals and with groups, many people who have experienced the ill effects of being in the wrong practice for their type. Choosing the right practice is very important.

Different Styles for Different Body Types

Ayurveda, the herbal medicine branch of the overarching body of yoga, is a sister to Hatha yoga. It breaks down the human constitution into different types. When you are looking for the right yoga class for you, it is useful to have a sense of your type. Ask yourself the following:

·       Are you thin, find it hard to gain weight, wiry, nervy, agitated, with energy that comes in sparks and flashes, more of a sprinter than a distance runner?

·       Are you fiery, muscular, determined for the long haul, competitive, maybe even aggressive, with a burning appetite for life?

·       Are you slow, calm, stable, steady, sturdy, reluctant to change, with the potential to be stubborn or lazy?

Just as people’s body types can break down into these three different groups, yoga practices can also be broken down into these three different groups. People that tend to be wiry and nervy do best with slow, nurturing, grounding and comforting practices, such as Kripalu, Sivananda, Scaravelli, restorative, integral or Yin yoga. People who run hot, and are competitive by nature, are likely to be attracted to more physically intense yoga practices, which is okay as long as the primary directive of the practice is not to generate heat. Anusara, Iyengar, Sivananda, Scaravelli or viniyoga would be good practices for this constitution. If you have a heavier build, tend to be slow by nature and would benefit from a little more inner fire, then Ashtanga, Jivamukti, power yoga, Kundalini, Bikram and Moksha yoga can be good practices for you.

When there are specific injuries to the body that need to be addressed, restorative yoga classes can be good. Pre- and post-natal classes are excellent support for the birthing process.

There is no harm in trying out a variety of practices. The ill effects of which I speak in this blog are effects that happen over a long term. If you are generally fit and generally in good health, there is no ill effect in trying any style of yoga to see how it feels, as long as it is done in moderation. It is advised, however, to eventually stick with a practice. Because the effects of yoga are deep and lasting, they happen over time. So a consistent practice with the correct method, with a skilled teacher and a willing student, will yield maximum results.

Finding a Teacher

Because the instructor is guiding you through the development of an intentional body-mind relationship, going to a yoga class can feel for me like wearing somebody else’s body. Though for some, going to a yoga class can be seen as just a great way to “get fit”, there is something much deeper going on. I seek teachers that embody at least an aspect of yoga, that is, that they exhibit and live by a deepening body-mind connection that serves the greater good of all. I have seen many very popular yoga teachers that I feel seem disconnected from who they are and what they are doing, and as such they do not exemplify yoga for me. If you are not sure, try a class, and see how you feel afterwards. Do you feel grounded? Do you feel too heavy? Do you feel elated? Do you feel too high? Do you feel energized? Do you feel too peppy? Notice how you feel. Above all, you should feel balanced. That is, grounded and inspired, rooted and expansive, relaxed and alert. The way this balanced feeling is developed through a yoga class is by the awareness of one’s spine, and the way vital life-force energy moves through it. I would stay away from any teacher that uses terminology such as “push” or “pull”, or who acts with too much force, and who does not bring your awareness back to your breath and to the movement of energy in your spine. Though many years of teaching can indicate a more skilful teacher, I have also seen young teachers who seem to naturally “get it” and are genuinely inspired by the yogic path. So, though credentials matter, what matters most, again, is this feeling of balanced connection.

In my years of teaching, I have experienced a shortage of teachers who understood the value of a practice inspired by a surrendered relationship to the vital life force that runs as a vast mystery within. Yoga is not an external practice of bendy poses that turn your body into a pretzel, but the development of a deep internal relationship with the self and the Divine. This is why, through the natural development of my practice, my personal teaching style, YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine, arose. When we are willing to listen within, our greatest teacher is our humble relationship to the cosmos that exists as a guiding force within ourselves, expressed within our body. At best, your yoga teacher mirrors that relationship back to you, as a guide to help you get out of your own way so that your finite body may embody the eternal Divine. A teacher is not to be copied, but is to inspire your own unique personal path.

I wish you much grace as you explore the riches of yoga.