The Making of "YIN: Yoga in the Nightclub"

Hello Friends,

 

Typically, the week of a Parvati Magazine launch, I don’t write a blog entry. But I have been a bit delinquent with my entries to you. So despite the latest issue of Parvati Magazine being now live – go check it out!! – I wanted to share a bit of my heart and my creative process over the last couple of months with you here.

 

As you know, I have been immersed in the world of sound, creating my album “YIN: Yoga In the Nightclub”, which I hope you have had a chance to listen to, and perhaps enjoy as much as I do. If not, please take a listen to it at Yoga in the Nightclub.

 

As I wrote, engineered, produced, arranged and mixed the tracks (and the mix polish process with the talented sound engineer Carl Gardiner in the U.K.), I was literally brought to my knees again and again. There was something powerfully different about this particular album for me. 

 

At first, I thought, perhaps it was the short window of time I had to create it. But that did not feel right. Then my audio engineer friend Carl suggested that perhaps it was the typical ‘second album angst’ that seems to plague most bands and artists. But that also did not seem to really describe what I was experiencing.

 

Then I realized that literally a year ago from the time I was producing the album, I was flat out in bed, in agony, with a severe spinal injury. At that time, I was undergoing a deep spiritual transformation, one that required profound surrender and trust like I had never had before. From that injury, as I have shared with you, my whole world changed. 

 

From the onset, I knew I was creating a series of songs as a nod to the yoga community that shared my love for yoga and the Divine. But doing so at that particular time seemed to channel into this musical work much of the spiritual energy and the fruits of my inner transformation that I experienced during my injury. 

 

In addition, I had never recorded myself chanting in Sanskrit. Sanskrit is a vibrational language geared to invoke states of consciousness through sound. So repeating phrases over and over through the recording process was, in the unseen realm, stirring up my inner consciousness pot, rearranging cells, and moving me deeply.

 

In addition to being face to face with the power of the inner experience I had through my injury and the power of Sanskrit, the entire album was fueled by the depth of my love for my guru, Amma, and the devotion I have to Her and the spiritual path. Cooked to the core through this recording process, I repeatedly met my ego that kept surfacing saying “I can’t”. It kept wondering how something as large as these expressions could come through this tiny body, this finite time and space, ultimately, this “little old me”. 

 

The answer eventually embedded itself into my being deeper than ever before: “get out of the way – you are not the doer.” I relied heavily on the knowing that reality is plastic and that nothing in this world is fixed, despite the ego wanting to think it being so. So I focused on being an instrument, as best I could, and on just taking orders from the unseen.

 

Through the creation of the album, I worked very diligently with my music production soil-less garden. No, I was not tending to plants. A soil-less garden is indeed a garden without soil or any ground and works with Nature’s Devas and the unseen realms on a creative project. It is a very powerful process that I recommend to anyone. You can read about it at the Perelandra website that says:

 

“A soil-less garden is how you apply the principles of co-creative science to every aspect of your life: business, education, the arts, the home, research, your job, personal and professional projects and goals... all those gardens in life that are not rooted in soil. It's how you work with nature to achieve any goal you wish with extraordinary efficiency and balance.”

 

So for hours a day, I was in my soil-less garden coning (a particular energetic configuration of Nature Devas and Cosmic Intelligence) to expand my consciousness so that I could access and download (for lack of a better term) sonic information that would best express what I was called to share. At worst, I felt like I was taking dictation. At best, I was dancing with the Divine through sound. It was an exhilarating creating process. 

 

As you know, the album, with its songs to the Divine Mother, was aptly launched on Mother’s Day weekend. Thanks again to those who attended. I was so glad to see you all! Since the launch, I have tweaked the music, adjusted sets, made costume fixes, redesigned lighting… generally polished the show. I am on tour through the US right through to the first week of August. I will be sleeping out of a van for the next few months, but updating this blog with photos and captions from the journey. I look forward to sharing it all with you. 

 

Just like when I went to the North Pole, I felt I was going with you all. So too, I feel we are all connected, so what I do, I do with you, and wherever you are, I am there too, as you are with me. Space and time are plastic, stretchable expressions of our heart’s focus and divine alignment. As I sing in my song “Shanti”, “we are one earth family”. Yes, we are!

 

If you have not yet picked up your copy of the album, you can get it exclusively at the Positive Possibilities store, in biodegradable packaging or in mp3 format. Your support is immensely appreciated! A percentage goes to Embracing the World.

 

Much peace, gratitude and joy to you!

Jai Ma!

Parvati

 

 

 

A World of Sound, The Voice of the Divine

Hello Friends,

As you may know, I am in the thick of the creative process finalizing my new album. This album is a nod of gratitude to the yoga community for the support I have received over the years, and of recognition of my deep spiritual roots there. The album uses my independent hit single "Yoga In the Nightclub" as a point of departure. The album includes traditional Sanskrit chants, original pop songs, anthemic dance tracks and expansive, spacious soundscapes that allow listeners to rest in the lap of the Divine.

The creative theme for the album is "Songs to the Divine Mother", an expression of gratitude to my guru Amma. The release party is fittingly on Mother's Day weekend, at 8pm on Friday May 11 at the Yoga Sanctuary at 2 College Street (at Yonge). All ages are welcome, and kids under 6 are free. Advance tickets are available at my online store Positive Possibilities. There will be an early bird special, so make sure you order yours early. Full details will be on my websites soon. I hope to see you all there!

I feel like I am in a creative cave as I create sounds to produce songs in my music studio. For me, it is a fully engrossing process. A friend from Montreal is in from Toronto and asked me to come to his event this weekend. I would have loved to go, but said that if I were around people, I would open my mouth and symphonic sounds would emerge rather than words. I am in the world of sound!

(In case you are looking for something inspiring to do on a rainy Toronto Sunday, his event is the launch of RISE Kombucha at the Green Living Show April 13-15, booth #1830, at Direct Energy Centre, Exhibition Place, 100 Princess Blvd.)

The creative process is all consuming. My partner's cell phone went off yesterday, and I found myself mesmerized by the sparkling sounds. I paused for a moment. Uh oh. I am in really deep! So I went for a walk in the local ravine to refresh my ears from the intensely focused sonic work. The outside world was also just a world of sound to me.

As I do my daily meditation practice through this intensely creative process, I hear the sound of my breath and the sound of my heart. I can sense the sounds of my cells receiving the oxygen from the breath and the blood flow. I sense the sounds within life, pulsing with vibrancy.

To me, the creative process is like a party with the Divine, witnessing a force unfold and move through that is so much greater than the ego. It is a mystical process, because at its core it is a mystery wrapped in awe and received in humility.

Today, I suggest that you may wish to open your ears and being to the worlds of sound both within and without. We think of sound as frequencies we hear with our physical ears. But there are also unstruck sounds, frequencies that are subtle yet still can be sensed.

For example, we hear the thoughts that pass through our head, that inner chatter. But there is no object that is vibrating to create that sound frequency. Yet we can hear this chatter.

The voice of the Divine is like this to me, everywhere, in all things, pulsing, flowing, alive. When we learn to listen, life is resonant with an orchestral vibrancy that is nothing short of awesome. The power of this sound draws us to stillness and lets us dissolve into the depths of profound silence. Open your ears, open your heart, open your body, open your mind and listen to the wondrous sounds of Life itself.

Until next week,

Jai Ma,
Parvati

Sacred Sexuality: Beyond Wanting - Part 4: The Body Channel - The Art of Love

(Continued from Wanting Fulfillment or Open to Divine Love)

What channel are we choosing to tune into and amplify when we mate? Whatever our state of consciousness at the time of sexual interaction, that consciousness is amplified by the act of sex. If we are wanting, seeking fulfillment and brimming with desire, we will feel satisfied temporarily from our climax, then ultimately feel empty once again and want more. The cycle of wanting then continues.

 

But if we approach sex from the point of view of the sacred, from a place of mindfulness and a practice of the release of wanting, most guys will say at first that they can’t get it up, and women will not know how to be sexy because they are so used to seducing or playing hard to get. Once the cat and mouse games or prey/predator games fall away, we are left with our naked self, our inner being, raw, vulnerable and real. Ok, you may ask, so what is so sexy about that!? That is when real lovemaking begins.

 

When we allow ourselves to let go of wanting the other to fill us up, when we let ourselves be real, as we are, another energy comes through our body and being. It will charge our entire being with a presence, a force that is absolutely free of wanting. We feel open, grounded, free, humble and powerful – zero and everything. It is as through our body, heart and soul simultaneously flower in reverential awe of the moment. This force is an exquisite expression of the flower of life itself.

 

Sacred sexuality is not about “me” wanting “you”, or “you” wanting “me”, or two people pleasuring themselves and each other. These temporary wants will come and go and will leave each person with the same sense of emptiness they were consciously or unconsciously trying to fill up through the other. Sacred sexuality is about the body being a vehicle for the divine. Beyond the grip of personality, the partners are open, present, and willing portals of the divine in human form. In this state, there is no desire to climax, in fact, perhaps a moving away from such. Should this force begin to arise, those who are keen practitioners of sacred sexuality will know that this is a sign that wanting is also rising, and interference has come. Practitioners must wait for that wanting to pass in order to proceed.

 

In sacred sexuality, there is the absence of desire, and the fullness of life itself. The whole body-being begins to feel like a sex organ, alive and pulsing with life. Spiritual bliss replaces orgasm and it is not limited to physical contact or genital stimulation. It is a spiritual lasting state that is not conditional upon action. The spine is a conduit for life force energy that pulses energy through every cell. There are no wild multiple orgasms that make you fabulously funky, and proud of your spiritual prowess. In sacred sexuality there is a genuine merging with the One. The mind is calm, clear and fully alert, yet relaxed. The body is present, open, gentle and very strong. This is a yogic state. This is a path to the divine.

 

Sacred sexuality is the expression of sexual energy without wanting. This is the embodiment of life force. It is a co-creation with the Cosmic Intelligence and Nature. It can be expressed with the self through the fulfillment of one’s destiny. It is when the Divine is incarnate. It can also be expressed through self with self-sex. But this may lead to trickiness because the physical body, being the heaviest vibration of our entire being, also houses and triggers our deepest attachments and our most profound wants.

The same is true with sex with others, be it same sex or heterosexual. Sex is to be free of wanting if we are to touch the divine. When wanting is absent, one has the experience of true presence, and this alone, with or without touch, can be soulfully orgasmic. It is a question of openness, readiness and willingness to be seen wholly, as we are without façade, fears and ego. A simple, connected gaze can lead our entire being into a different, expanded realm, one more real than what our limited perceptions and habitual personality would want us to see and believe. Sacred sexuality is not about or limited to genitalia. Sacred sex is about the force of life that flowers through the soul, meeting spirit through the body. It electrifies this moment into the fullness of being. It is living our fullest potential, realizing our magnificence and being divine incarnate. Sacred sexuality is not about the act of sex, but about reverential acknowledgement and humble awe at the spiritual force that flows through life, that we only know when we are willing to become quietly, lovingly spacious, unbound and free of all sense of disconnection.

 

Sacred Sexuality: Beyond Wanting - Part 2: Body Language

(Continued from Sex and Spirituality)

 

Whether we are heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, a polygamist, a monogamist, or celibate, our physical body is part of a vast, multidimensional whole. What we do, think, feel, taste, smell and touch is never limited in isolation to our immediate sense of self, but has ripple effects throughout the entire universe.

 

When we communicate, we take in and impart information. For most, this is thought of as a verbal exchange. But for those who are sensitive to otherness, we understand that there is no such thing as purely verbal information. In addition to what we speak, we are also sharing our emotional presence, all the contents of our body language, the subtle innuendos, and our vibrational intentions.

 

When we share with someone, we are in contact not just with the physical being that we see, but with all that person’s past thoughts, experiences and actions, as well as all energies with which they have been in contact. We are in touch with the totality of their soul's evolutionary journey. Even when we are physically alone, we are never truly alone. Whatever we think, feel or do, we are continually in communication with an immense universe that comes home to us through our physical body.

 

The body is literally a channel for unseen forces. We know we need to take care to communicate appropriately when we share our ideas and our heart, whether silently to ourselves, thoughtfully through prayer or orally to others. We know we must be attentive to our audience and communicate appropriately so that we may be understood and so we may fully feel connected.

 

The same is true with sex. It is a form of communication, communication with self, and/or with other(s). Sexuality in the positive possibilities is about receptivity and trust, because in order to fully meet the divine, that is, the pure consciousness that runs through our being, and share in its presence that runs through everything, we must lay down our ego, rest in humility and let go of wanting. This takes spiritual maturity.

 

If we were deeply honest with ourselves and looked courageously into the recesses of our psyche, we would find that for most, sex is an expression of seeking external fulfillment, getting or giving to get, which are forms of our ego attempting to gain approval, feel safe and find control. Sex for most is a form of trying to find connections while feeling disconnected. Even when we feel we love someone, we need to be careful we are not still seeking their approval, playing out childhood patterns and being inauthentic in the moment. In this way, the sober truth is that for most, sex is more of an expression of the impossibilities, because it often comes from a place of scarcity, wanting and lack, rather than genuine and pure love.

 

Just like anything in the universe, when we approach life from a perspective of lack, we will continue to feel unfulfilled no matter how many fast cars we buy, how many shiny shoes are in our closets, how big our house is, or how many multiple orgasms we have. Unless we embody the courage to face our inner emptiness and switch internal dials so that we may let go of our inner wounds that tell us we are unloved and unlovable, we will not find the fullness we ultimately seek. Similar to the rules of abundance that tells us that riches cannot be made from feeling not enough, we cannot meet the eternal and divine through sexuality if we are in a disconnected state of wanting. Love comes when we love ourselves.

 

Sex transmits information. It is a form of communication - communing with self, others and otherness. It brings us beyond our limited sense of self and opens us to something else, be it the divine, or more wanting. (As a transmitter, sex also gives us STDs, which sadly have affected many, many people all around the world.)

 

When we look at sex from a spiritual perspective, we also understand that sex transmits information from the unseen to the seen. When we are spiritually centered, we realize that sexuality opens a multidimensional portal and has the capacity to transmit beauty, peace, joy, as well as unseen STDs, that is, interference patterns that take root in our physical form.

 

When I was living in Montreal and ran a yoga studio there, I went away one weekend on a meditation retreat by myself for personal recharge. When I came back, I was greeted by my then boyfriend and a swirling array of women I could see in his energy field... three to be exact. As soon as I saw him, I exclaimed, "Who are these women?” I knew he had been unfaithful to our monogamous relationship while I was away. I could see their energy imprint in his energy field. I knew that if we were to be intimate again, I would be interacting with him, his unseen field, as well as all those with whom he had been in contact. For me, the spiritual path is complicated enough, full of promise and pitfalls. Engaging in such complicated and unclear energy systems was not for me, so we parted ways.

 

That partner and I practiced at that time what most people popularly understood to be Tantra. It is from experiences like that relationship and others that I came to develop a deeper understanding of Tantra and know intimately the power of sexuality to touch the divine or to add complication to our lives. Sex can support our evolution if the energy is handled with absolute awareness and true understanding of wanting and desire. For most, sex either keeps us in cycles of wanting providing temporary highs, like white sugar rushes that do not ultimately feed our soul and body/being, or (when sexual desire is misunderstood as love, rather than seen as tricky wanting) it adds layers of complications to our path, and brings into our body/being energies from which we will eventually, in this life or the next, need to release.

 

(Continues tomorrow with Wanting Fulfillment or Open to Divine Love)

Ask Parvati Finale: The Miracle of Nature's Healing - Part 2: Following The Call to Nature Co-Creation

(Continued from “The Secret”)

If you have been following my blog entries, you will know that I have always had a natural, strong connection to the planet Earth, to Nature as a whole and to unseen energies that are always with us – the spiritual forces that have a lot more to do with our day to day living than most people care to realize. I am by far not alone in being sensitive to such. Many people are, and are acutely aware that our planet, a living organism, is going through a healing, a shedding, a purification that is affecting us all, because we are also literally part of the planet.

During the summer of 2010, I felt I had to do more to help raise awareness of our planetary interconnection, our need for conscious awakening and our ecological responsibility. So by the fall, I was on my way to the North Pole to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice. I do not feel I so much wanted to go, as I was inwardly called to go. A voice within spoke so clearly. This is what I was meant to do. Some inner voices come from the voice of our soul, while others from spiritual guides that help mark our way. Perhaps, at some level, there is no need to distinguish between the two. Except here, I could say that I felt neither. I felt the call from the planet herself.

Without knowing, without desire and without seeking, I now understand and can admit to myself that I have walked, as a contemporary woman, the classical path of the traditional shaman, who through his own inner healing, awakens to a much larger picture of our human experience and our place within the cosmos. It is a path that rests in a co-creative relationship with a powerful force that creates all we see in Nature, of which we are an integral part. Through this journey, one that I never consciously sought, I have been guided both in the seen realm by synchronous meetings and guides appearing in many forms, and by teachings appearing in my dream space and through the unseen. Animals, dolphins and whales in particular, have also appeared, carrying teachings that I needed to learn.

A dream the night before I left for the North Pole adventure (not uncommon, but notable), was of a great blue whale below the ice at the top of the world. The whale knew I was coming. It also completely understood the message I was to carry and the work I would do there. Though I did not know it then, I could say now that it was that whale that guided my journey to the Arctic and my healing that would follow.

The Bering Strait Inuit myths say that the spirit and life force of the whale is that of a young woman. "Her home is the inside of the whale, her burning lamp its heart. As the young woman moves in and out of the house doorway, so the giant creature breathes." (History of Tattooing in the Arctic by Lars Krutak). That is how I felt: a whale inside my true nature was being born, giving voice and taking me over.

(Continued tomorrow with “Prayers Are Always Answered (Just Not The Way We May Think)”)

Ask Parvati Finale: The Miracle of Nature's Healing - Part 1: The Secret

Before we begin this week's topic, which will be the last Ask Parvati at this time, I offer you the opportunity for you to give a little support for a cause close to my heart: I would like to introduce you to Aymeric Maudous, founder of EcoXpo in Australia.

Aymeric is launching this fall the Arcadia International Environmental Film Festival, a non-for-profit, sharing tickets proceeds with like-minded NGOs around the world to support their great efforts in protecting our planet. Make sure that you watch the festival trailer and hit “like” on their FB page.

With Grace, perhaps some of the footage from my North Pole adventure will be shown at the festival and I may be able to support by performing for some of the international events. Ok, now to answering my last Ask Parvati!

QUESTION:

Dear Parvati,

I believe that the body is designed to be healthy. It amazes me how it can repair itself when we break a leg or cut ourselves. Yet, people do get sick; the body breaks down. When we get ill or when something in the body fails to function the way it was designed, is this simply a question of genetics and DNA or is there always an underlying metaphysical origin?

ANSWER:

Wow. Deep breaths. Becoming still… Here we go…

Even though I know it and often live it, moments like these make me feel awestruck in wonder by the Grace of life. Miracles are so often made up of the small things in life.

The “Ask Parvati” blog entries began just after I finished recounting my North Pole journey and when my life was about to radically change as the tsunami hit Japan. As I now prepare to shift gears from “Ask Parvati” to a different blog format, I receive a question for my last “Ask Parvati” that encourages me to share some of the deeper healing I have experienced over the past year, since “Ask Parvati” first started. The synchronicity of it is a real delight. Thank you for trusting your intuition to send me this question.

As I faced writing my last “Ask Parvati” post this week, I wondered if, in some way, I would share what I have been going through this year, to give readers more personal insight into my answers to your many wonderful questions over the last year. And then this question arrived - a confirmation that it is time for full transparency. For this reason, your question feels very fitting for my last “Ask Parvati” entry. As I answer it, I will take the liberty to fill you in on my year, to add more depth to my answer to your timely question.

In the spirit of candour, I would like to share that in some ways I have felt this year that I have been hiding a secret from you all. As I have written these weekly blog entries, I have been simultaneously going through nothing short of huge spiritual and physical transformation. Because of that, my blogging has been therapeutic for me, a way for me to channel the insights that were concurrent with my inner changes. I have loved this vehicle to share the expansive experiences during likely the most powerful, transformative and scary period of my life, in a way that also supported others to grow: a true win-win. Thank you for your willingness to read and support the process. And now, for the reveal…

(Continued tomorrow with “Following The Call to Nature Co-Creation”)

Ask Parvati 36: Compromise, Acceptance and Getting the Love You Want - Part 5: Getting The Love You Need

GETTING THE LOVE YOU NEED

(Continued from Getting The Love You Want)

 

 

Relationships are a path for personal growth. In my opinion, they can be a fast track way for spiritual growth. Perhaps some of you have had the experience of feeling great when you are on your own, but when you get into a relationship, all of a sudden you find out all sorts of areas for personal growth as your shadow gets provoked. None of that seemed to exist when you were on your own. So where did it come from? The ego assumes it must be your partner, so you conclude you're with the wrong partner. Truth is, these vasanas (or negative tendencies) were within you all along and have been simply triggered by the relationship.

 

Of course, it is healthy to be in a relationship where you find the support and safety you need to explore and ultimately release these vasanas. This is why a healthy relationship is more like a co-creative workshop for spiritual growth than a walk in the park. They amplify our shadow and our potential. They bring out hidden tendencies and show us who we truly are. When we are willing to accept the fuel for growth and let our ego guard down, the workshop begins to feel more like a walk in the park, as we become more spiritually fit.

 

I have had my fair share of a range of relationship experiences, some painfully scary and others tender and divine. In hindsight, I can see in that all the while, I was being taught exactly what I needed to learn in exactly the way I needed to learn it. Sometimes when we resist lessons, life heats up the teachings and we find ourselves in painful situations. The intensity of the lesson may be a measure of our resistance to learning and the hardness of our ego. If we meet a relationship with humility, these tough lessons soften and our learning and evolution increases.

 

I have found when I am willing to let go of the grip of my ego and live in service to the creative flow, this moment as it is right now, I touch a level of love and joy that is not conditional upon circumstance. This is something I can choose. I can tap into that flow at any time.

 

Our partners may push our buttons, but the buttons are ours. Our old patterns exist within ourselves. They are not found inside the other person.

 

I believe it is humbling and healthy to know that we will be triggered at some point or another until we reach enlightenment. The triggers persist because they are part of our attachments to “mine”, the part of the human psyche that divides and individuates. Similarly our partner has the same tendencies. When we understand this, we can soften to what may seem intense, unfair, or "against me" in the moment and open to a bigger picture. We can laugh more at our tendency to grasp and push. We can let go and flow with greater joy.

 

No one person, no matter how perfect, could fill up a hole in our psyche. In some sense, it is not even really fair to ask that of anyone. No one person could make our distorted perceptions right. Maybe by their not giving us what we feel we want in the moment, we go inside and find it from our capacity for self-love and from our relationship with the Divine. Maybe by not being given the exact right response that we feel we want in this moment to make life seem perfectly shiny, maybe we are being given the greatest gift we could get. In that moment, we see our attachments to how we want life to be, rather than how life is. In that moment, our “me-ness” cracks a little, and a fissure of light slips in. We can see, in perfect reflection, our wanting, how our ego wants things to be a certain way to feel temporarily loved.

 

In truth, we are always loved. Our perception of such gets eclipsed, and we forget. That is ok. When we don’t get what we want, we have a chance to see what we really need. We have an opportunity to turn our awareness to the reality that we are already whole, loved, connected and interconnected to an intelligent whole that is far greater than our limited ego or will. We just temporarily got caught up, in the smallness of “me” and forgot the expanse of “I Am”. Our partner too is part of that intelligent whole. And whether our partner knows it or not, he/she just gave us a gift back home, to the One undivided state of continual bliss. Not bad for a relationship, huh?

 

Today is the last day to submit your question to be answered for next week's blog. Please send yours to ask@parvatidevi.com.

I will post a new blog topic in answer to one of your questions throughout next week starting this Sunday.

Thanks for reading!

Be well till then,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 36: Compromise, Acceptance and Getting the Love You Want - Part 3: Acceptance and Insight

ACCEPTANCE AND INSIGHT

(Continued from Acceptance Versus Resignation)

 

Let's look at a simple relationship example, perhaps one you have experienced before. Your partner wants to go to the movies. You really want to stay home and tackle some unfinished household chores you both have left lingering that weigh on you. You don't get how he/she could want to go to the movies when these chores are pending. He/she does not get why you are so fixated on chores when there is fun to be had.

 

This pattern has been going on for some time in your relationship. In fact, when the topic of movies comes up, you feel resentment. In your eyes, your partner wants to "goof off" -- sigh! -- again. You want to be practical and move forward, unburden your lives by facing things that need attention. You don't want distractions. You want action.

 

From your partner's point of view, you don't have enough fun. You are too serious, wanting to plan for the future rather than live for the now and go out on the town and have fun. He/she feels you don't go out enough, and he/she needs more lightness in the relationship. Staying home and doing chores feels too confining.

 

If you were to give in, perhaps you would just go to the movie, telling yourself that it makes him/her happy. But then you begin to linger in resentment, because the house remains unattended and your needs are not met. This is not a win-win. To me, win-lose exchanges in a relationship are ultimately lose-lose. It is one of the poisons leading to eventual relationship demise. They are to be avoided.

 

If you were to quietly sit down and discuss together the options that make both of you happy and try to find a compromise, you may agree to do chores for part of the day, then take a break and go to the movies. If you feel good about that and so does he/she, then you have found a win-win.

 

Beyond compromise, is the notion of acceptance. If you are aware that your partner has a tendency to, in your opinion, want to "goof off", you must ask yourself what is really going on. Acceptance is your best friend. You must accept that your partner has this tendency, which is different than yours. You don't necessarily like this tendency, nor do you want to encourage it, but you accept it. Accepting it does not mean that you give in, and only go to the movies. Accepting means that you understand you have divergent tendencies and that in the co-creative flow, in a life-affirming relationship, in the state of balance there is room for both. Both of you are imperfect and evolving.

 

Different people with diverging tendencies often get together to help balance each other out and encourage personal growth. That may be the case in this example. If you feel rooted, vital and expansive when you go out to the movies a little more often than you usually would, and have a happy helper to tackle household chores, then your reality has expanded thanks to your relationship. We must strive for that kind of partnership, where our relationships help to broaden our sense of reality and our sense of self to include a bigger picture of life, to enrich who we are.

 

When you accept a tendency in your partner that is divergent from yours, you begin to see a bigger picture and feel less personally attacked when you partner does something that would not be your first choice. If you accept his/her tendency, you will see that likely, this weekend, the topic of a movie or going out on the town will come up. Rather than having your feathers ruffled, you will see your partner doing his/her thing, as it is. It may be an opportunity to see life through different eyes. It does not become a personal attack on your need to tend to household chores. In that place of acceptance, you can remain calm, understanding and ultimately loving for the need your partner is expressing. In that place of calm, you can also clearly express your needs: that even though you enjoy movies, and you would be open to that, you also want to make sure it does not eclipse the practical need for chores. By accepting your partner, you are also accepting yourself. In so doing you begin to see your partner more clearly and you also share yourself more fully.

 

If the need to go to the movies is all your partner ever wishes for and he/she does not want to do household chores, you need to vocalize this misbalance. If there is no budge, then perhaps you need to make a decision if this relationship is right for you. You may simply want different things, have different life priorities and personal goals. There is nothing wrong with that. People can part ways amicably. In fact, that is a sign that a breakup is the resolving of some unfinished karma. If you leave angry, judgmental or resentful, the likelihood is, you will meet similar patterns in your next partner until these patterns are clear in you.

 

When you start to accept a tendency in your partner, you begin to see beyond the need to go to the movies, for example, as an isolated issue. You begin to inquire into and ask yourself (or your partner, depending on how open he/she is), Where does this desire come from? Is it an expression of his/her joy? Is it a diversion? Does it help bring you out of your shell because you are scared to let loose? Is it actually a way he/she hides from his/her fear of making commitments and building for your future? Does the tendency come from hiding or opening?

 

Acceptance creates a seedbed for insight to grow. When we accept what is, our consciousness opens to meet it. We can then see the moment in fullness, for what it is and make wiser, more compassionate choices.

 

With greater compassion and understanding, the next time the topic of the movie comes up, you see the bigger picture. You see your flow, you see his/her flow. You also know that there is a whole, supporting each one of you together and individually. There is balance somewhere, waiting for you, that you can invite in.

 

Part of this week's question was when do you know if you should stay in a relationship. Tomorrow we will look at Getting The Love You Want.

 

Enjoy the day,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 34: The Journey to YEM - Part 5: My Practice Today

My Practice Today

(Continued from The Healing Begins)

Life Is Yoga

 

The question I was asked this week led me to sharing more about myself than I ever have in a blog. I am grateful for the opportunity to share about myself. So how has yoga affected my life? I feel yoga is my life, so I don’t know how to separate myself from Yoga to express how it affected my life.

 

Yoga is life. It is everything. It is the way the branches of each tree converge and make entirely unique patterns in each tree. It is within the mystery of life unfolding and it is the mystery itself. It is the gut “knowing” we all have from deep within and it is within the surrendered not knowing.

 

After two teacher training programs and much in depth study since those early years of practice and awakening, Yoga now forms the root of my being. It creates the foundation of the way I receive the moment, the way I process information, the way I experience life.

 

When I say "yoga", I don’t mean bendy, physical exercises. Those are only a small part of a broad life science. Ultimately, Yoga is about merging back with the one source of pure consciousness, dissolving our identification with our ego, with feeling separate. Yoga is built upon the practice of humility, letting go and surrender. When we allow ourselves to release, we return to flow with a force much greater than our individual will. We begin to live in rhythm with the infinite, as a witness to the finite, rather than bound by the finite, wondering if the infinite exists.

 

My Practice Today

 

In my current practice, Yoga is about witnessing and cultivating a balanced state of being in each moment, softening to a rooted and surrendered state that is part of a much bigger flow. In that state, the notion of separation begins to release and I find a unity with a immensity beyond the sense of "me".

 

The Hatha Yoga Pradipika speaks of the need for yogis to cultivate "sukha and stira", a balanced state of being neither too relaxed nor too alert. I tuck that away in the back of my mind and let it be the backdrop of my day, a sort of canvas upon which the events of the day can be painted. I refer to this throughout the day, and inquire into how I am interacting with my environment, with others and with myself. I find this very useful to keep the notion of Yoga alive in each moment throughout the day. Ultimately, what else is there? Are we not all ultimately merging back to the one, each one of us more receptive to such in our own way?

 

When we take the notion of "sukha and stira" and apply it to our way of thinking (not just to the way we move or breathe as we would in a Hatha Yoga practice), we learn to be alert and receptive in each moment, finding a balance between being relaxed and focus, neither stressed nor spaced out. I find that very useful in the pace of today's world. Our mind broadens and becomes more perceptive and able to receive information and possibilities.

 

Each moment is full of information, which we can receive by softening or reject by reacting to it and shutting down. My breath is my best friend. By being aware of how I am breathing, I can see immediately how I am thinking. Throughout the day, I ask myself: "Am I holding my breath? Is my breath flowing? Do I feel the interconnection through the breath between the world beyond my skin and the world behind my skin?" Yoga is the way in which I choose to practice walking on the Earth, neither stepping sheepishly nor too aggressively. Yoga is the way I choose to practice balance in relationship, open to a co-creative, fluid, win-win experience that resonates inwardly and feels harmonious outwardly.

 

To me, the way in is sitting meditation. It is like priming the pump of consciousness so that it flows in abundance throughout the day. Though I still do physical practice, the majority of my practice revolves around sitting and walking meditation.

 

YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine

 

The years of exploring the meaning of Yoga and how to integrate it into my life led to a deeper listening to an arising from within. That arising guided my physical yoga practice and brought grounded meaning to my day. I don't feel I "created" YEM. It blossomed through my life experience.

 

YEM aims to both infuse the body/being with consciousness and awaken the inner intelligence already present within the body/being. It awakens vital energy through mindful breathing, meditations, vital energy work and subtle attention to yoga postures. It guides the practitioner more deeply into the body, into the present. This is done through exercises that clear the body’s energy channels (nadis), in order to master vital energy (prana and shakti), and tap into unlimited power and ease (samadhi).

 

When beginning with YEM, there are two suggested points of focus: the flow of breath and the sensations that run through the body. The aim of all forms of yoga is to experience the oneness of body, mind and spirit. The breath acts as an interface between that which we perceive as outside our self and that which we experience within. The breath moves continuously within and without. Focusing our awareness on the breath assists the dissolve of the sense of division between what we see as outside our self (other) and that which we feel is within (mine).

 

The objective of breath awareness is to eventually experience a greater sense of personal wholeness and oneness with all things. It assist us in becoming simultaneously more globally aware and personally centered. Awareness on the inhalation draws our awareness inward, into our body/being. Awareness of the sensations within our body allows us to feel more at home in our body and anchor the experience of our breath in a tangible way. Focus on the exhalation allows for expansion and release.

 

There is tremendous spaciousness and ease inherent in the aerial quality of the breath. That spaciousness is brought into the body/being on the inhalation and is allowed to permeate through the body/being on the exhalation.

 

Breath and sensation are continuously interrelating. An embodied, yogic state is an expression of the dance between spirit and matter. The Sanskrit word Tantra, a branch of yoga, means "to weave" or "to expand". In this way, yoga is about weaving a dance between spirit (breath) and matter (body) while liberating dormant potential energies and infusing the body/being with consciousness. Focus on the interplay between breath and sensation becomes a meditation on the relationship between spirit and matter and allows for greater synergy between these two.

 

YEM is distinguished by integrating specific key points of awareness, such as:

 

1) Downward moving energy: Gravity anchors the body/being to the center of the Earth.

2) Upward moving energy: Inspiration connects us infinitely towards the cosmos.

3) The spine: The body’s central channel of universal energy.

4) Two-way-moving energy: In all poses there is at least two-way energy at all times.

5) Pelvic tilt: This is an expression of belly breathing. Our center of gravity is just below the navel. A tailbone tilt on the exhale releases energy downward so that subsequent upward moving energy can arise through the body and float into the crown.

6) Breath awareness: The breath is an interface between body, mind, spirit and soul. Focusing on this clears the subtle channels of the body and allows for integration of body, mind, spirit and soul.

7) Emotional awareness: Emotions bridge the physical and intellectual bodies. By practicing mindfulness, one comes more fully into the present, where healing and transformation occur.

8) Circuit breakers: The first cervical vertebrae (C1) at the very top of the neck, and the tailbone (the coccyx) at the base of the spine, when properly aligned, allow for upward and downward moving energy.

9) Body intelligence: Inherent intelligence exists within the body to be simultaneously released and cultivated. Through breath awareness we infuse the body/being with consciousness and awaken inner intelligence.

10) Global balance: Develop a balanced state of being that is both relaxed pleasure-delight (sukha) and firm alertness (stira).

11) Spaciousness: Allow room for the breath to permeate your body/being by doing 80% your maximum. Create spaciousness and ease rather than tension and compression.

12) Co-creation: When in a integrated state of being, a flowing pulse moves through the spine and radiates throughout the body. It is available in every posture. It is an expression of the co-creative interplay between downward and upward moving energy, rooting us in the personal and opening us to the global.

 

Tomorrow I will post the answer to a new question, continuing to post thoughts on that topic through the week. You can submit your question for the following week by emailing ask@parvatidevi.com.

 

En-joy,

Parvati

Natamba

NATAMBA
Ok. I cannot help but offer a little shameless promotion about my up and coming show. I am just too happy not to share! This is the show synopsis:
"When the reptiles invade Avalon, Natamba, disturbed from deep meditation, leaves for planet Earth. Like a ray of liquid gold light, Natamba arrives on Earth to find it riddled with interference. While on Earth, Natamba explores the meaning of Yoga: to be one with all things. By embodying I AM consciousness and by seeing Yoga everywhere, even in the nightclub, Natamba transforms the desolate world back to a lush landscape. Natamba brings to life a message of hope, interconnection, love and celebration for all we have."

Fun, huh? It is kinda sci-fi meets spirituality, Cirque du Soleil meets Madonna. For those of you who don't know, Natamba is the character I become in my shows. She is a ray of gold light that recently downloaded to Earth from a planet she calls Avalon. She embodies Yoga, that is, our true human potential as a ray of gold light. Natamba is one with light and brings to life all that she encounters.

Natamba, the word, came about as I was living in India. I was by chance repeatedly called Natamba by two men from Brazil who were living in Japan. I have no idea why they called me Natamba. The name stuck. It became a sort of alter ego that entered into my creative journal writing and imagination. Natamba was born.

Interestingly, "nat" in Sanskrit is often seen in reference to "Nataraj" referring to dance. "Amba" means Mother or Goddess. So the name means Goddess of Dance. I often hear the name embedded within the chants of the 1000 Names of the Divine Mother. One of those mantras is "Om kumara gananathambayai namah" (Salutations to Devi who is the mother of Subrahmania and Ganesh. Parvati is that Devi.)

I AM CONSCIOUSNESS
The "Natamba" show (and all my work) supports the awakening of I AM consciousness in myself and in all beings. I have used the phrase I AM consciousness often in my blog, but what is I AM really?

I AM is the expansive experience of interconnection to all, through all, of all in each moment… pure consciousness arising. First though, must come the practice of rooting our life in the positive possibilities of being, a state in which we unequivocally know that our true nature is Love. In the positive possibilities we know and experience that we are loved in each moment, connected beyond the grasp of the limited mind to and within a vast, mysterious whole, of which we are an integral part. In this, there is a release of the impossibilities tendency to grasp, repulse, constrict and try to control the moment. In the positive possibilities we meet this moment, without resistance, and witness what is. In that space of what is, I AM arises, and so flows the expression of pure consciousness. The positive possibilities are the fertile soil for I AM consciousness to grow.

ART AS A VEHICLE FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH
My life focus is the realization of the One. Art is a vehicle through which I express and explore this journey. My performances, including my current show Natamba, are Grace for me. They provide me with opportunities to activate, live and share the spaciousness and release I practice in sitting meditation. They provide me with a playground in which to practice non-attachment, to witness what is, to expand and share the joy of being alive.

People have asked over the years about the title of my song Yoga In the Nightclub, thinking it was about doing yoga poses in a club setting. It is not. Yoga is so much more than a series of bendy exercises for physical health. These are only an aspect of Hatha Yoga, the Yoga that awakens pure consciousness through exercises that purify the body/mind. There are many branches of Yoga, from Hatha yoga, to Karma yoga, which focuses on self-realization through selfless service, seeing the love-light energy within all things, especially those in need. Yoga is a vast life science that explores and reveals to us our true selves, beyond the grasp of our limited ego and personal will.

My shows and music celebrate the non-duality of life, that we are indeed expressions of the divine. Through song, lights, sound and theatrical elements, we are brought through a journey of transformation, beginning in the desolate, interference ridden landscape of isolation and despair, to the lush expansion of Avalonian consciousness flowering on Earth. We begin to see the possibility that yoga is everywhere: each moment, be it in a nightclub or in a meditation hall. Each moment provides us with seeds to awaken to who we truly are.

AVALON
This is a word I use quite a bit in context of the show. I understand that it can be confused with other folklore words of the same name that may conjure up images of Sir Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.
For me, this word references a place that existed in co-creation with Nature. Avalonians would be a group of beings who remember our inherent state of oneness with creation. Perhaps, some time long, long ago, Avalonians were in communication with humans. Perhaps there was a time Avalon was invaded, hundreds of thousands of years ago, and the gap between Nature and humans grew.
There are people on the planet now I would call Avalonians, those who remember the potency of this subtle and immense interconnection with Nature. With the influx of industrialization and the subsequent increase of greed, there is no doubt that Nature is suffering and so are the Avalonians and our connection with Nature. In denser energies, we lose the ability to experience the power of subtlety.
Natamba is from Avalon and embodies this Nature co-creative intelligence. She reminds us that we are part of it all, not separate.

So I invite your creative imagination to spark. Perhaps, contemplate the way in which you are Avalonian, like Natamba, connected to Nature, one with all. When we remember Avalon, we find heaven here on Earth.

Happy sparkling,
Parvati

PS: The next issue of Parvati Magazine will go live tonight or tomorrow!

Ask Parvati 29: Art As Soul Food - Part 5: Who Or What Is Creating?

PART 5: MULTIDIMENSIONAL CO-CREATORS: WHO OR WHAT IS CREATING?

(Continued from A New Generation of Multi-Media Artist: The Multi-Dimensional Co-Creator)

Ok. Buckle your seat belt. You may read this last entry in response to this week’s question and think, “uh oh, Parvati has drunk the kool-aid. What IS she talking about?” Well, in the spirit of sincerity, transparence and honesty, here it goes…

Many of you know me well enough by now to know that I see things in terms of the multi-dimensional. We are spiritual, infinite beings in a temporal body with a temporal personality returning back to the infinite. Our soul is a reflection of the divine, merging back to pure consciousness. Our personality is being purified, the aggregates removed so that we may be vessels of unconditional love.

Have you ever seen a show or looked at a work of art and wondered, who was actually creating? Sometimes, it is not only the voice of the artist’s soul. Sometimes, the work can feel superhuman, like other energies stepped in and participated in the creative process. You know what I mean?

I believe that we are not alone by any stretch. We are part of a vast, intelligent universe. Just like we can observe in Nature, there are energies that need healthy space, light and food to survive, and there are those that feed off of debris and decay. So it is in the unseen realm.

Each one of us has a shadow. We are human. We err. We cast a shadow upon the ground. The wise begin to know their shadow and welcome it into their field of awareness so that they may witness it and it may ultimately dissolve.

When we expand into the beings of light we are, we may co-create with unseen energies that are luminous and expansive, such as angels. This is an idea most of us like. Angels are pretty cool!

When our shadow remains unseen, hidden from our conscious mind, it can begin to rot in the dark. Like any wound that is not in clean air and open to the light to heal, festering can begin. Sometimes even bugs can come to feed on the decay. In the same way, there are energies in the unseen that feed on our shadow when we are in denial about it.

Why is it that so often artists turn to drugs? Could it be that the pressure to create draws them to find sources of instant power to propel their creativity forward? What if an artist was drawn to create for egotistical reasons, like fame and personal praise? The artist may be in denial about their shadow. What happens when they taste praise, would they not want more? Wanting only stops when we see it for what it is and choose to look at our shadow with humility.

If a person is attached to being in denial about their shadow and insists on wanting, energies in the unseen will latch on to amplify that reality. Soon, the source of inspiration is not the soul, but the personality plus free-loaders, subtle beings that are not exactly angels. So then what or who is really creating?

Now, I have always been one with a particular affinity to the unseen, so perhaps this may seem far-fetched for some. But I speak of my experience just like I am sure you have your own. I remember one artist I saw arrive on stage bringing with her an entire entourage of astral beings. The friend I was with had just returned from a ten-day silent meditation retreat. After the artist sang her first song, he left the auditorium running. Others in the audience were mesmerized. For others, the show was otherworldly, and to me, it quite literally was!

A couple years ago, I was on a plane back from an international music conference. I sat with some well-established musicians who were on tour with a top industry singer. I remember one of the guys had this vacant look in his eye. He was sweet and kind, but I could not get out of my mind the emptiness that was looking back at me. The singer he was touring with was to me a tragic black hole, an active addict who was lost and in denial about the depth of her addiction.

What I saw in this man was how the entropy of her artistic career drew towards it others of the same. He too had that specific character combination of black hole emptiness and gravitational pull. Just like the artist he toured with, he had a certain stickiness that felt like he would make it solo some day. But just like the singer he supported, that “it” factor that likely would make him famous, was not from the expansive sparkle of his soul, but from an entropic pull. It was not expansive, but constrictive.

When we listen to music or when we engage in any art, we must ask ourselves, “Does this make me feel expansive? Does it make me feel constrictive?”

We are organic beings, connected to a vast universe. We have free will. We can easily move away from evolution just as much as we can move in alignment with it. It is entirely up to us to manage our consciousness and evolve. When we evolve, we move away from suffering. When we remain attached in the dark, we suffer. The character Cypher in the movie “The Matrix” reminds us of this. He says:

You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak] Ignorance is bliss.

Just like the idea of eating the steak in the Matrix tasted good only in the mind because in essence it was not real, art that is based on surface gratification will satisfy only the surface personality temporarily but will not ultimately support your freedom. Only when you have the courage to go deeper and touch the eternal does suffering cease.

Anything we take in through our sense organs has a vibrational presence. We must make sure that what we ingest is in our highest good as ultimately, that is what is in the highest good for all. My suggestion is, ingest only deliciously, nutritious, rooted, expansive and vital art that makes you want to sing at the top of your lungs: “YES LIFE!”

My next post will be on Sunday. Until then, have creative fun!

Parvati

Ask Parvati 29: Art As Soul Food - Part 4: A New Generation of Multi-Media Artist

PART 4: A NEW GENERATION OF MULTI-MEDIA ARTIST: THE MULTI-DIMENSIONAL CO-CREATOR
(Continued from The Source of Creativity: Ego or Selflessness)

I step into gold spandex, put on an elaborate head dress and summon the Cosmic Intelligence to become Natamba, the Goddess from Avalon, the title character in my current show. I feel that I am part of a new generation of multi-media artists that I call multi-dimensional co-creators.

As a multidimensional co-creator, I am aware that I am part of a vast universe, and I feel I work with the palette of broad understanding that everything I see around me is a reflection of what I think, feel and believe. My thoughts are literally creating my reality.

I know that the creative process, whether conscious or not, taps into a collective field of energy, to such an extent that literally what we each do, think and create both reflects and shifts the directive of our collective consciousness as a whole. I choose to consciously tap into that vast pool and see how far down the rabbit hole Natamba, my gold spandex and I can go.

Multi-dimensional co-creators like myself are aware that no one person is an island. I am interconnected in vast ways far beyond the limitations of my personal will and ego. I believe that we each have the responsibility to manage our energy and learning to rest in rooted, vital expansion. I can see this need for personal responsibility in the power our media has to affect all of our lives. Our media is a reflection of who we are. If we were an enlightened society, our media would reflect that consciousness.

Because of the power of the media, I feel that the role and corresponding responsibility of the artist throughout history has never been more potent. Through the conscious co-creation between the artist’s inner inspiration and the collective field of consciousness, artists have the ability to assist a shift in human consciousness, if they so choose.

Joseph Campbell, the American mythology professor, writer and orator said, “The function of the artist is the mythologization of the environment and the world.” He believed it was the role of the artist to give a current voice to the divine intelligence whose source is beyond time and space, to re-interpret myths and communicate them in today’s language.

"Natamba" is about switching on to the fullness of who you are, your truest potential. The show explores an ancient message in a modern world. It uses the most broad-reaching language accessible to artists today, multi-media rooted in modern technology that accesses audiences globally. As well, the show taps into multidimensional knowing, which touches and stirs the already present quiet soul-wisdom, waiting to be switched on in each human being.

Reminiscent of - yet standing apart from - the famous counterculture Timothy Leary’s phrase “Turn on, tune in, drop out”, my character Natamba summarizes the notion of the Positive Possibilities as: “Be here. I Am. Now.” Being fully present in I Am consciousness is at the root of the Positive Possibilities.

"Natamba" is one expression of a new generation of multi-media art that accesses the greatest voice available to artists today. We all are interconnected and play our part in contributing to the collective conscious energy field. It is up to us if we will support the greater evolutionary directive through the release of our egoic attachments, or if we support involution. Through the palette and potency of conscious multi-dimensional co-creation, we each play our part in consciously tapping into and contributing to our collective energy field. I have consciously chosen to weave together my love of yogic consciousness, and of electronic, dance pop. What is your joy? Tap in to the collective energy field and support the shift to the positive possibilities. These are exciting times.

(Continues tomorrow with Multidimensional Co-Creators: Who or What is Creating?)

PS: Don’t forget that submissions are due today for this week’s question. Send your to ask@parvatidevi.com

North Pole Journey, Part 1: The Night Before We Leave

I have just returned from a trip to the North Pole to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice caps. The message with which I return was voiced unanimously by everyone I met: the ice is melting; there are fewer animals; the people are suffering; please tell the south to stop polluting.

It is timely to post my first blog about this trip on Thanksgiving weekend, as I feel thankful for so very much: I return safely; I feel supported; the journey was a success at so many levels. I am still inwardly processing the depth and breadth of the trip. Luckily, during the trip I took notes of my experiences. So over the next few weeks, I will be posting my journals and video blogs as a way to share the richness of the experiences I had.

When I left for the North Pole, though it was my body that was physically going, I felt that we were all somehow going together. I hope that through these journals you feel a closeness with me as the journey unfolds. The essential message I brought to the North, one that runs through all my creative work, is that we are not isolated islands but one family, all from the same mother, our Earth. Any decision I make affects myself, others and the planet. We are all connected.

May you feel that closeness and inner richness over this wonderful Thanksgiving weekend and always.

Jai Ma,
Parvati

A NORTH POLE JOURNEY TO HELP HEAL THE EARTH

THE NIGHT BEFORE WE LEAVE

DEEP WAVES OF EMOTION

How do you pack for a journey you have never taken, to a landscape that is dangerous, inhospitable and very, very cold? Thankfully, many people have come together to donate warm woolies, down sleeping bags, snowsuits and technical gear. Value Village had some used snowmobile boots that fit. Luckily we were able to get some expert advice from videographers who have shot in the kind of conditions we are expecting, anywhere between -15C to -25C. We need to be prepared for things like battery life depleting very quickly in the cold and gear freezing. Even our video camera needs a special Arctic snowsuit. We have had to come up with a new costume for Natamba (the character I play in my show Yoga In the Nightclub), one that will be good for -25C and also allow me to move freely. We met with Velcrow Ripper who is doing a new documentary called “Evolve Love: Love in a Time of Climate Crisis” for some shooting and interviewing tips and to connect about the synergies of our work. JVC Canada donated a flip camera, a boom box and lent us a professional video camera. Mountain Equipment Coop donated a tent. Emergen-C vitamin C drink gave us some vitamin packs. Various friends from all over generously pitched in all they could to make this trip financially possible. I feel very supported and blessed.

It seems we are almost packed. We are all moving to complete the task lists we each have so that we can get some sleep before our long day of travel tomorrow. As I complete the last few audio tweaks on the demo of my new song “Hear This Prayer”, my list is near complete. This feels good. Over the past three days, I have felt immersed in the arising of this new tune that would not let me rest until it was recorded in a format that I could bring with me. The song expresses some of what I have been feeling in the call to this journey. In it, I speak to our mother Earth then pray, asking for help to heal our planet. Now I have a backing track to perform this new song along the journey and at the North Pole. I feel very charged about this.

Two friends drop by for last minute support. I play the new song for them and they say: “This is so Natamba!” I feel a certain success already. I know I can do the rest of the production work to complete the song for release once I am back. It has been challenging to find the time to be with this new song creation amidst the need to tend to all the other practical details of getting ready for the trip. With Grace, this has come together smoothly.

Shutting down my computer for the last time before we go and with the chorus of “Hear This Prayer” going around in my head, I walk upstairs from my music studio to I see if I can help either my husband Rishi or my friend Sunanda with their work load. Our yoga-meditation room is covered in gear. With the winter tent, heavy sleeping bags, arctic clothes and boots, extra food provisions and all the video and audio equipment, there are lots of bags. Sunanda and Rishi are moving quickly. Sunanda has already done a stellar job at packing and Rishi at preparing the gear. I join in to help when suddenly I feel overwhelmed by deep, unpredictable and raw emotions in my heart and chest. These feelings have come over me in increasing waves over the last week. I spontaneously start to sob.

I have experienced unexpected emotions like these before, but only when I have been traveling through the countryside in different locations all over the world. For no apparent reason, I would start to cry; my breathing would quicken, like I was hyperventilating. Sometimes I would feel pain in my internal organs, like I was being squeezed on the inside from a heavy pressure force. In the midst of this, I would hear a voice within tell me that this was because I was passing through an area where Nature was in particular distress. Through the emotional waves, my intuitive connection to Nature was speaking loudly.

A bit like a canary in a coalmine, I have always had a keen sense of perception and intuition to things that others may not perceive. But the emotions I am experiencing through the trip preparations connected to Nature’s distress are happening for the first time while moving about my life in my own home. It is true that I have felt over the last few weeks a deeper connection to Nature than ever, like She is within me, not separate, guiding this journey. I feel I am being shown the depth of healing that needs to take place for our mother Earth. In this, I feel overwhelmed. She is feverish, burdened, overloaded. Faced with the immensity of that knowing, I feel a deep grieving beyond words. These emotions are an expression of the depth of this journey, an expression of the pain of the planet, the way our mother is suffering. I find a quiet place to be present with this passing through me, watching in stillness. Eventually, the emotional intensity passes, my breath returns to a relaxed rhythm. I return to the work at hand, preparing our luggage.

OUR SOIL-LESS GARDEN

As I pitch in to help pack the rest of our belongings, I reflect on the various preparations we have undertaken for the past three weeks. Yes, there has been the gathering of gear, finding sponsors, booking meetings, finding hotels and airline tickets and writing a song. We also have been preparing spiritually, at the level of the unseen.

A group of ten volunteers I call The Earth Team and myself have created a soilless garden in which we can actively co-create with Nature to set the stage to assist with the intended healing work at the North Pole. I have been working in co-creation with Nature for years. Inspired by the work done with Nature when I was in Northern Scotland at the Findhorn community, I came across an American woman Machaelle Small-Wright who works in co-creation with Nature. Her work called “MAP: Medical Assistance Program” changed my life. She also instructs how to work with soil-less gardens. Working consciously with Nature has amplified my creative connection within myself and to the world around me. The possibility of being able to plug into the vast source of life-energy is so very exhilarating and even necessary to build a healthy future for all.

Just like a garden in soil is a co-creative project with Nature, a soil-less garden is a co-creative project with Nature that is not limited to being planted in the ground. It could be composing a song, running a business or writing a grant. We are not isolated islands as our egos may wish us to believe. We are in constant co-creation with Nature and the Cosmic Intelligence, whether we are conscious of it or not.

Working with our soil-less garden, the Earth Team and myself have been preparing to support the healing work I am to facilitate there. This has asked each of us to go deeper into ourselves, lighten our load and release patterns that do not serve. Every day, we have been individually meeting the soil-less garden to do the necessary preparatory energy work. Even in the rush of this day before we head out in the early morning, Sunanda, Rishi and myself understand the power of the work in the unseen and make time to meet with our soil-less garden to set the stage for the work to come at the North Pole.

DEATH OF THE EGO: LETTING GO OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

As I look around the room to continue packing, the amount of bags I see already feels heavy, and there is more gear yet to include. It is unlike me to travel this way. Usually I am a one-light-bag kind of traveler. But that has changed since touring my show with its technical requirements. Now a trip to the North Pole requires other specialty gear that takes up space. As I move quickly around the room to find places for the rest of the pieces, I contemplate baggage of all kinds. What am I bringing to the North Pole? Yes, these are physical bags, but what about emotional or energetic baggage?

I am experiencing this trip as a deep call to faith. It is clear that it is important to lighten any emotional baggage that could hinder or weigh down the success of this journey. I feel I am going deeper within than ever before to look at my fears, face small-mindedness or illusions of grandeur and release resistance of any kind to the goal of this journey: to selflessly serve the healing of our planet. This is not a trip but a calling. It is not a rational decision to do something strategically to amplify the ego. If anything, I feel it calls for the death of the ego. I am called to follow a voice in the dark that feels totally right. I feel it is the mother calling. So I go.

I was two weeks away from touring my show Yoga In the Nightclub when the voice within became unavoidably clear that I needed to go to the North Pole to sing, do healing work and help bring awareness to the urgent consequences of the melting polar ice caps. This summer, during a few very hot days, something about the heat was unnatural. High temperatures do not bother me but this heat was different. There was a feeling in the air that signaled distress. The winds did not feel right. The sky looked agitated. Nature was very restless. In response to this, this voice within arose. Now I find myself the night before we depart on a journey that feels much bigger than me. In some ways, things are quickly coming together, and yet I can feel that much, at some level, is yet to be dissolved. I sense that I will soon speak of my life in reference to “before” and “after” the North Pole journey.

FACING DEATH

The thought of emotional baggage brings to mind the discussions Sunanda, Rishi and I have had about physical death. I am very blessed to be making this journey with sincere spiritual seekers who understand the breadth and sincerity of the call.

I remember that during my daily meditation practice, I had a vision a week ago of the real danger of this journey, specifically that our plane could crash. At that time, I paused to consider what I saw. Was I dreaming, imagining or was this real insight? I knew in my gut it was correct. I looked at the image of my guru Amma in front of me and went deeper inside. This was a real possibility and yet I need to go. I sat with this for a couple days, making peace with the possibility of death on this journey. I know that there are energies that do not want this trip to succeed, trickiness attached to the ailing planet and the short term economic profiteering gained from the melting polar caps.

When I saw the vision, I did not want to upset Sunanda and Rishi, so I shared its essential message by starting a dialogue about the dangers of this trip and candidly speaking about the possibility of death. What followed was an open and healthy sharing between the three of us about how we feel about the possibility of dying through this journey. In order to go, we each must be at peace with death. The possibility of physical death is ultimately imminent and can happen at any time. Of this, we have no control. But being receptive to the death of the ego is a choice, a direction one must invoke and welcome as a spiritual seeker. We spoke openly about that kind of death as well. As we now pack, the speed of our bodies in action reflects a certain release to the ego’s identity that “I” am the one doing. Amidst the sea of bags and seeming chaos, there is a deeper feeling of order, one of surrender and service to a greater good. There is a feeling of flow in the room.

TO LOVE AND SERVE

As the last pieces of our luggage seem to be coming together, I look up at the image of my guru on the meditation room wall. I see Her smiling and I feel that smile in my heart. I think to myself, “What is this life, if it is not to serve? What am I serving? Is it not a wonderfully expansive, rooting, vital, life-affirming, enriching feeling to feel connected to the very source of life, to allow it to flow through, unencumbered? What is this 'I' that keeps me feeling separate? Listening to that for guidance just brings 'me' suffering, more division and separation.” I feel a rich connection to this voice that calls us on this journey. It unites. It creates. It draws us all closer to each other, to what is essential, to love, to serve. This journey feels so much bigger than me, than Sunanda, than Rishi, than the Earth Team. It gives voice to something to which I feel I am in service, to which I have dedicated my life. I feel the voice of Nature, of the mother calling.



Despite waves of emotions and the vision of a plane crash, I have been feeling inspired, integrated and aligned going on this journey. Even when we contacted the government and were told that this was an unsafe time to go to the North Pole, I did not feel concerned. I know we are protected. We must stay true in our hearts. We are dedicated to this vision. We must pray. We are guided. I trust this unfolding totally. I feel that my body is the very stuff of which the planet is made. Literally I am her daughter, as we are all her children. In that connection, there is fierce direction and profound love. This will guide this pending journey.

We zip up the last suitcase and stack the bags, ready to grab, at the front door. It seems we can now rest for a few hours of sleep. We look at each other and are clearly exhausted by the preparations and also adrenaline-charged about what lies ahead. How we will sleep with this excitement and anticipation is yet to be seen, but we need every bit of rest for the days ahead. Each day leading up to this journey has been action packed and full of surprises and so are the days coming. It is already 1:30am and we wake up at 4am to get ourselves out the door to the plane. As I lay myself down on my soft, comfortable bed, I visualize that I am completely supported by love and grace, so that with the few hours of sleep I now have I can rejuvenate as much as possible. Tomorrow morning before dawn, the North Pole journey begins.