The Yoga of The Will

The Ego’s Will

The common use of the word "will" conjures the notion of determination and focus to initiate an action. It is associated with the idea of pushing to get what we want and making extra effort to have things go our way. As such, when we feel that our will has been beaten by others or thwarted by the universe itself, we can often feel like a pile of roadkill pushed off to the side of our life’s path.

We can easily find many examples of this ego-driven understanding of the word "will". It is praised in boardrooms, at schools, in sports, in entertainment – even in yoga classes, as I explore in my new book “Confessions of a Yoga Junkie”. This use of willfulness exists in most areas of life in which we wish to excel. But do we really understand the true meaning of “will” and the value it has along the spiritual path?

From Unconscious to Spiritual Awakening

When we live unconscious lives, we feel we must make our lives happen. Oblivious to being part of anything beyond our little selves, we imagine that we are the universe. In this limited perspective, our willpower is our tool for survival. It is our identity. The stronger our attachment to that identity, the more chances we believe we have to get ahead.

But once we wake up to a spiritual reality, we start to contemplate the right use of will. We hear prayers that include phrases like "Thy will be done" that encourage the release of our singular way. We begin to consciously participate in a force greater than our limited will.

As spiritual aspirants, we seek to understand how we fit within the greater whole. We begin to question the absolute intelligence of our own personal will, and wonder if it is in alignment with divine will. We contemplate what divine will may be for our self.

We may have experienced first hand being led blindly by our ego into painful situations and ending up hurt. Perhaps because of this, as we evolve spiritually, we begin to feel less attached to things being "my" way and open instead to other possibilities. The notion of opposites starts to dissolve. The sense of you/me, us/them, yours/mine dissipates in exchange for a deeper sense of our innate interconnection. The possibility germinates, and eventually flowers in our hearts and minds, that God/the divine/the universe may just have a better plan than we may yet see. As we learn to live beyond our ego, our lives become bigger, richer and fuller.

In so doing, we open to divine will. Yet we are often left numb and floundering as to what that could possibly be. We may have let go of overly driven uses of our will, but perhaps only in exchange for becoming Mr. or Mrs. ‘Nice’, or ‘Oh-So-Spiritual’, unclear as to who we are. We have not yet found how our will fits into a spiritually focused life, and wonder if it does at all.

Effortless Will

I have personally spent years in this quandary. I have shared in previous blog entries how I have been undergoing the death of my "feisty girl" who could conjure immense force to do the seemingly impossible, fueled unconsciously by the notion of being alone. Once she started to dissolve, I found myself questioning the right use of will.

This Mercury Retrograde, I have been going through a sort of personal recalibration, a period of greater introversion. I have found myself drawn to longer periods of meditation and contemplation. Something within me has been growing, seeking to emerge, as something else needed to fall away.

Through this period, I have experienced moments of exquisite effortlessness, as though finally, in my every cell, I was getting out of my own way and allowing my flower-like nature to simply bloom, each breath, one moment at a time. I could feel a hard shell around me, my ego watching to stake out an ambush, trying hard to hold on strong. The schism between my effortless, natural, unbridled self and the constriction of the ego would become painfully clear, and then, something would dissolve into absolute ease.

As I have ridden the waves between these two, a-ha moments would arise. In one such epiphany, I experienced how flowers exist effortlessly and are complete in their magnificence. Flowers never question. They simply are. In that state of “beingness”, they are everything and nothing. I witnessed how I question God's will for me, as though it were outside myself, a distant, elusive, all-powerful thing separate from me, judging me from on high. Then something started to soften and I would experience myself as that flower again and God's will was simply effortless joy.

The Yoga of Will

It has become clear through this process that the right use of will is neither forceful nor road kill. It is neither tense, nor soft. It is yoga, balanced, present, surrendered, and in flow. I realized that the right use of will is simply a complete and absolute “YES!” in my every cell to my soul's joy, a total release of all thoughts of anything else being my purpose. Joy is my purpose. Joy is God's will for me. So by focusing unequivocally on my joy, I align myself with universal, divine will. As I say “YES!” with each breath to my deepest soul joy, my life becomes a living prayer.

It is not up to me to then say, “I will make it happen.” That is the universe’s role. My job is simply to continually say yes, one moment after the next, and keep getting out of the way. From that place, clarity arises and I effortlessly breathe into my next step. I do not forcefully make anything happen. I am a dynamic co-creator, in divine conversation, in flow with the universe’s cosmic play.

Joy is not wanting. Wanting feels constrictive in some way. Joy is always rooted, vital and expansive. Joy is our connection to the divine within us. When I am in joy, I am in a state of receptivity. In that state, I am in abundance. When I am in abundance, I am in flow and all is already manifest. The universe knows my deepest joy, because within my deepest joy is the universe. They are not two, but one. God's Will and my joy are not two, but one.

Ask yourself, “What is my deepest joy?” Open to your joy as you would a flower. That joy reflects your divine nature. It is the divine in you. Take three long, deep breaths and see if you can open to the possibility that your joy is the universe’s joy. Repeat: “My joy is the universe’s joy!” Repeat it until you feel it tingling in every cell of your being. Effortless joy is who you truly are. All you need do is believe it and get out of the way so it may flower and become your entire life.

Love,

Parvati

Sacred Sexuality: Beyond Wanting - Part 4: The Body Channel - The Art of Love

(Continued from Wanting Fulfillment or Open to Divine Love)

What channel are we choosing to tune into and amplify when we mate? Whatever our state of consciousness at the time of sexual interaction, that consciousness is amplified by the act of sex. If we are wanting, seeking fulfillment and brimming with desire, we will feel satisfied temporarily from our climax, then ultimately feel empty once again and want more. The cycle of wanting then continues.

 

But if we approach sex from the point of view of the sacred, from a place of mindfulness and a practice of the release of wanting, most guys will say at first that they can’t get it up, and women will not know how to be sexy because they are so used to seducing or playing hard to get. Once the cat and mouse games or prey/predator games fall away, we are left with our naked self, our inner being, raw, vulnerable and real. Ok, you may ask, so what is so sexy about that!? That is when real lovemaking begins.

 

When we allow ourselves to let go of wanting the other to fill us up, when we let ourselves be real, as we are, another energy comes through our body and being. It will charge our entire being with a presence, a force that is absolutely free of wanting. We feel open, grounded, free, humble and powerful – zero and everything. It is as through our body, heart and soul simultaneously flower in reverential awe of the moment. This force is an exquisite expression of the flower of life itself.

 

Sacred sexuality is not about “me” wanting “you”, or “you” wanting “me”, or two people pleasuring themselves and each other. These temporary wants will come and go and will leave each person with the same sense of emptiness they were consciously or unconsciously trying to fill up through the other. Sacred sexuality is about the body being a vehicle for the divine. Beyond the grip of personality, the partners are open, present, and willing portals of the divine in human form. In this state, there is no desire to climax, in fact, perhaps a moving away from such. Should this force begin to arise, those who are keen practitioners of sacred sexuality will know that this is a sign that wanting is also rising, and interference has come. Practitioners must wait for that wanting to pass in order to proceed.

 

In sacred sexuality, there is the absence of desire, and the fullness of life itself. The whole body-being begins to feel like a sex organ, alive and pulsing with life. Spiritual bliss replaces orgasm and it is not limited to physical contact or genital stimulation. It is a spiritual lasting state that is not conditional upon action. The spine is a conduit for life force energy that pulses energy through every cell. There are no wild multiple orgasms that make you fabulously funky, and proud of your spiritual prowess. In sacred sexuality there is a genuine merging with the One. The mind is calm, clear and fully alert, yet relaxed. The body is present, open, gentle and very strong. This is a yogic state. This is a path to the divine.

 

Sacred sexuality is the expression of sexual energy without wanting. This is the embodiment of life force. It is a co-creation with the Cosmic Intelligence and Nature. It can be expressed with the self through the fulfillment of one’s destiny. It is when the Divine is incarnate. It can also be expressed through self with self-sex. But this may lead to trickiness because the physical body, being the heaviest vibration of our entire being, also houses and triggers our deepest attachments and our most profound wants.

The same is true with sex with others, be it same sex or heterosexual. Sex is to be free of wanting if we are to touch the divine. When wanting is absent, one has the experience of true presence, and this alone, with or without touch, can be soulfully orgasmic. It is a question of openness, readiness and willingness to be seen wholly, as we are without façade, fears and ego. A simple, connected gaze can lead our entire being into a different, expanded realm, one more real than what our limited perceptions and habitual personality would want us to see and believe. Sacred sexuality is not about or limited to genitalia. Sacred sex is about the force of life that flowers through the soul, meeting spirit through the body. It electrifies this moment into the fullness of being. It is living our fullest potential, realizing our magnificence and being divine incarnate. Sacred sexuality is not about the act of sex, but about reverential acknowledgement and humble awe at the spiritual force that flows through life, that we only know when we are willing to become quietly, lovingly spacious, unbound and free of all sense of disconnection.

 

Sacred Sexuality: Beyond Wanting - Part 3: Wanting Fulfillment or Open to Divine Love

(Continued from Body Language)

 

Sex is part of the cycle of life. It is a sacred thing. When the sacred is confused for the fulfillment of desires, confusion begins. The sacred does not fulfill our desires. It does not give us all we want but gives us what we need. The divine shows us the ways in which we identify with feeling disconnected and shows us a way to return to our more authentic state of wholeness.

 

It is not up to our lovers, husbands, wives and partners to make us whole. It is up to us to turn our attention to the divine and tap into that eternal light. It is our job to focus on and celebrate the divine within our partners, and forgive their shadow, as we too have shadows.

 

When we engage in sexuality, it is a time for heightened consciousness, not the release of such. When we let go of our spiritual attention and engage in sexuality, we amplify our already present tendency to want. Whenever there is wanting, there is interference. When we want through sex, we become downloading stations for interference and amplify our own state of disconnection. Though a momentary feeling of bliss through orgasm feels great, most of us have no idea what really went on in the unseen while we temporarily reached such heights.

 

When we feel whole, relaxed and are willing to be free of wanting while we engage sexually, sex becomes an opportunity to release wanting at its root so that we may feel closer to the divine. Sex then is not about peaks, highs and lows, but about a rooted, vital and expansive exploration of life force, while letting go of our ego so that we may return to the One state of pure consciousness.

 

Understanding the force that runs through sexuality helps us eventually learn to touch the sacred everywhere. Historically, the enlightened ones do not engage sexually to meet the divine, but seem to go into bliss just at the sight of a flower, or from the simple touch of Kleenex. The divine is everywhere and the opportunity to find lasting, expansive bliss is also everywhere.

 

Through our human form, we have been given a gift that sacred texts tell us is universally unmatched. Since the body has the capacity to be a conduit for the divine, channeling the pure consciousness of the Cosmic Intelligence into Nature and form, we are charged with the ability to tap into power that is so much greater than our limited sense perceptions and tricks of our ego. We can tap into the power of the infinite through sexuality and embody our true nature, only as long as we are willing to let go of wanting. Wanting is our human super-power kryptonite. Watch for it. Whatever we channel through our sexual act takes shape on our planet.

 

(Continues with The Body Channel: The Art of Love)

Sacred Sexuality: Beyond Wanting - Part 2: Body Language

(Continued from Sex and Spirituality)

 

Whether we are heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, a polygamist, a monogamist, or celibate, our physical body is part of a vast, multidimensional whole. What we do, think, feel, taste, smell and touch is never limited in isolation to our immediate sense of self, but has ripple effects throughout the entire universe.

 

When we communicate, we take in and impart information. For most, this is thought of as a verbal exchange. But for those who are sensitive to otherness, we understand that there is no such thing as purely verbal information. In addition to what we speak, we are also sharing our emotional presence, all the contents of our body language, the subtle innuendos, and our vibrational intentions.

 

When we share with someone, we are in contact not just with the physical being that we see, but with all that person’s past thoughts, experiences and actions, as well as all energies with which they have been in contact. We are in touch with the totality of their soul's evolutionary journey. Even when we are physically alone, we are never truly alone. Whatever we think, feel or do, we are continually in communication with an immense universe that comes home to us through our physical body.

 

The body is literally a channel for unseen forces. We know we need to take care to communicate appropriately when we share our ideas and our heart, whether silently to ourselves, thoughtfully through prayer or orally to others. We know we must be attentive to our audience and communicate appropriately so that we may be understood and so we may fully feel connected.

 

The same is true with sex. It is a form of communication, communication with self, and/or with other(s). Sexuality in the positive possibilities is about receptivity and trust, because in order to fully meet the divine, that is, the pure consciousness that runs through our being, and share in its presence that runs through everything, we must lay down our ego, rest in humility and let go of wanting. This takes spiritual maturity.

 

If we were deeply honest with ourselves and looked courageously into the recesses of our psyche, we would find that for most, sex is an expression of seeking external fulfillment, getting or giving to get, which are forms of our ego attempting to gain approval, feel safe and find control. Sex for most is a form of trying to find connections while feeling disconnected. Even when we feel we love someone, we need to be careful we are not still seeking their approval, playing out childhood patterns and being inauthentic in the moment. In this way, the sober truth is that for most, sex is more of an expression of the impossibilities, because it often comes from a place of scarcity, wanting and lack, rather than genuine and pure love.

 

Just like anything in the universe, when we approach life from a perspective of lack, we will continue to feel unfulfilled no matter how many fast cars we buy, how many shiny shoes are in our closets, how big our house is, or how many multiple orgasms we have. Unless we embody the courage to face our inner emptiness and switch internal dials so that we may let go of our inner wounds that tell us we are unloved and unlovable, we will not find the fullness we ultimately seek. Similar to the rules of abundance that tells us that riches cannot be made from feeling not enough, we cannot meet the eternal and divine through sexuality if we are in a disconnected state of wanting. Love comes when we love ourselves.

 

Sex transmits information. It is a form of communication - communing with self, others and otherness. It brings us beyond our limited sense of self and opens us to something else, be it the divine, or more wanting. (As a transmitter, sex also gives us STDs, which sadly have affected many, many people all around the world.)

 

When we look at sex from a spiritual perspective, we also understand that sex transmits information from the unseen to the seen. When we are spiritually centered, we realize that sexuality opens a multidimensional portal and has the capacity to transmit beauty, peace, joy, as well as unseen STDs, that is, interference patterns that take root in our physical form.

 

When I was living in Montreal and ran a yoga studio there, I went away one weekend on a meditation retreat by myself for personal recharge. When I came back, I was greeted by my then boyfriend and a swirling array of women I could see in his energy field... three to be exact. As soon as I saw him, I exclaimed, "Who are these women?” I knew he had been unfaithful to our monogamous relationship while I was away. I could see their energy imprint in his energy field. I knew that if we were to be intimate again, I would be interacting with him, his unseen field, as well as all those with whom he had been in contact. For me, the spiritual path is complicated enough, full of promise and pitfalls. Engaging in such complicated and unclear energy systems was not for me, so we parted ways.

 

That partner and I practiced at that time what most people popularly understood to be Tantra. It is from experiences like that relationship and others that I came to develop a deeper understanding of Tantra and know intimately the power of sexuality to touch the divine or to add complication to our lives. Sex can support our evolution if the energy is handled with absolute awareness and true understanding of wanting and desire. For most, sex either keeps us in cycles of wanting providing temporary highs, like white sugar rushes that do not ultimately feed our soul and body/being, or (when sexual desire is misunderstood as love, rather than seen as tricky wanting) it adds layers of complications to our path, and brings into our body/being energies from which we will eventually, in this life or the next, need to release.

 

(Continues tomorrow with Wanting Fulfillment or Open to Divine Love)

Tantra Yoga: What's Sex Got To Do With It? - Part 3: The Catch: Tantra's Sex Appeal and The Need For A Guru

(Continued from Hatha Yoga, Sex Rituals and Tantra’s Shadow)

 

“Wow,” you may be thinking. “A spiritual path where sex is seen as a path to the divine! Sign me up!” But here’s the catch. Firstly, Tantra as a whole does not support the actual practice of sexual rituals. Only one offshoot branch of Tantra does, and that is a branch not generally condoned as a viable path by Tantrism as a whole due to its inherent spiritual dangers. These dangers are part of the second catch.

 

Secondly, when a spiritual aspirant begins to look at matter and the body as vehicles for spiritual evolution and personal transformation, he begins to walk the razor’s edge journey to spiritual enlightenment. He must learn to discern between the ego’s tricky wanting and expansive evolution. He must learn to balance the relationship between Nature’s involutionary tendency, that is, the rootedness of being in form, and the evolutionary cosmic play as it unfolds spiritually.

 

A Tantric aspirant can easily either become overly mired in the pleasures of the physical and lose spiritual expansion, or he can become overly lofty, detached and ungrounded by the spiritual and lose the presence of the physical. Like a gracious balancing act, the Tantric yogi walks an extremely potent path that is both delicate and dangerous.

 

I agree with Georg Feuerstein who stresses the need for Tantric aspirants to find the guidance of realized masters. I could not list the number of people I have seen over the years in my teaching and healing work – beginner and advanced practitioners, even teachers - who feel they have found their path through Tantra, yet seem lost. Without a guru while on the Tantric path, one runs the risk of losing the plot altogether and sinking into the mire of seductive wanting.

 

I have met many people in the yogic world who expound wise teachings, but vibrate with constrictive and involutionary energies. Void of humility, openness, honesty and pure spiritual shakti, people can easily become trapped in the Tantric path. One must remember that a fully realized master is one who loves all beings equally and sees all beings equally. This is not the case in most leaders and teachers.

 

The ego is a tricky and hungry thing that has power only when we feed it. But sometimes – even often - we are unaware we are doing so. Just as a reptilian chameleon can change colour to blend with its surrounding, so too our ego can shift and fool us to suit our desires. We may think we are evolving when in fact we are unconsciously justifying our self-serving ego.

 

The ego can even quietly adjust to fool us, so that we think we are growing when we are actually becoming more attached. It can even feign enlightenment. A spiritual aspirant must be careful of this. Only when we have surrendered to the guidance of a fully realized master can we overcome this.

 

(Continues tomorrow with Funky Sex and Multiple Orgasms)

 

 

Ask Parvati 31: Relationship Complications - Part 2, Faith And The Unfaithful

PART TWO: FAITH AND THE UNFAITHFUL

(Continued from Jealousy and the Ego)

Question: What relation is there between unfaithful and cheated on past experiences? 

My answer: I am not sure what you mean. If you mean what is the relationship between us cheating and then being cheated on, then I would say, you can call it instant karma. But I think you mean, why do we experience being cheated on? Is that some past karma of ours? I think we need to ask that question. That which happens in our life is a result of our karmas. This is a good thing. If we are willing to see life as a mirror, we will find life teaches us all we need to know.

I have had to go deeply into that question myself as I too have experienced that, as I am sure many have as well. Even recently, I experienced one of my closest friends deeply betraying me in a public setting. It was like being cheated on because we had had a sacred contract of love and trust as super close friends. In any intimate relationship, we have faith in the contract and bonds we have made. But not all people have the same relationship to their word.

People will do what they feel they must do. What they choose is not about us at all. My friend did what she felt she needed to do. At that level, her choice to be adharmic, to act in an unrighteous manner, had absolutely nothing to do with me. In fact, before she did what she did, I had asked her to reconsider, that what she was about to do was not in alignment with love. But she made her choice.

In the midst of my healing, my heart wounded, raw and cracked open, I had to ask myself, what is this experience teaching me? What is life mirroring back to me to witness, to learn and to let go? I realized that at some level, there was a play of ego I had with this friend, that was not balanced. She was in a lot of pain, and I realized that I was subtly trying to "help" her, do the work for her. I had unconsciously taken on some of her job of healing herself. That was subtly stroking my ego. She loved it. When I started to catch on that this was at play, I shared it with her. But she did not want to make the shift. She chose instead to feel victimized by my call for rebalance and personal responsibility. She did what she felt she needed to do. Again, I had nothing to do with that. 

Deeper still, I had to see that her betrayal of our bond was ultimately a gift to me to see the subtle ways I still betray myself. I was brought face to face with the questions: "Am I truly, fully, wholeheartedly in service to my soul voice?" I had to answer no, that I still sabotage myself. I still get in the way. I still betray my own magnificence. I wanted to say that the problem was all hers, but it was not. Her choice to betray our friendship was totally hers. But the gift in the experience was for me to see part of my own shadow and ultimately move beyond it. 

In the end, I feel grateful to her for being a catalyst in my growth. Sometimes life has big explosions to blow open parts of our ego that are in resistance, so we can see parts of our shadow that are in our blind spot. In that way, I feel the situation was Grace, a purification process, helping me be far more discerning with whom I share so deeply and teaching me to honour with much deeper reverence the voice of my soul.

To explore more deeply the ins and outs of relationships and how we can grow from them, I think you may find my blog entry Finding Balance In Relationships very helpful. 

(Continued tomorrow with Transcending Anger and Low Self-Esteem)

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality, Part 5: Purification Back To The One

Dear friends,

A year ago today I visited a high school in Iqaluit before flying home to Toronto to conclude my life-changing North Pole journey.

 

North Pole Journey, Day Seven

The school bell rings and triggers a Pavlovian response in me. A feeling of excitement and freedom surges through my body. The halls fill with noisy, boisterous, vibrantly alive students who emerge from small rooms. Soon the auditorium is flooded with dynamic bodies full of the very hormones I felt pulsating through the halls when I first walked in. I peek out of my dressing room door and see a room agitated and full of energy...

 

CREATING YOUR REALITY, PART 5: PURIFICATION BACK TO THE ONE

(Continued from Welcome to Life School)

We must learn to purify our thoughts, lessen our attachment to our ego in order to evolve. Seeing life as a mirror provides a wonderful humbling opportunity to do just that. When we understand that what we experience is a result of our thoughts and perceptions, we can grow and make changes, so that our life becomes more fulfilling and joyful.

As our minds purify, eventually we become one with the Reality that we are love. Then, love is all we see. Once we have purified our minds, released our identification with our ego, the notion of life as a mirror dissolves. We see that we are literally one with all that is.

I say it over and over again: we are part of a much greater, intelligent whole. I think this is so important because most of us forget it. We get caught up in the micro-importance of what is happening right now, we lose the big picture of perfect interconnection. We get lost in defending our ego either by trying to prove our feeling worth by ‘got to get it right’, or by slathering on the “I am so great” or “I am so lowly” goop that we forget to keep our focus on Reality (and not on “reality”).

When we remember that we are part of a magnificent whole guiding us, we start to lessen our identification with the perceived importance of “me” and start of flow with pure consciousness. We let go of our defensive attachment to “reality” and start serving and merging with “Reality”.

When we have come to this place of ultimate non-attachment, a place I can speak of only from glimpses in exceptional moments, we realize that we are one with everything. We see that the notion of separation was an illusion all along. We fully understand that we are not creating anything at all. All already is! If anything, we have been resisting the perfection of creation. We have been learning to get out of the way the whole time and love. At that point, we reach yoga, a state of union, a place of absolute clarity where the mirror is no longer a separate reflection of our disconnected thoughts, but a perfect merging and a return to the One.

May each one of us remember our true nature and swiftly merge with “Reality” by humbly opening to and serving the “reality” that right before us.

In service,

Parvati

PS: Don’t forget that this is the last day to submit questions for this week’s Ask Parvati blog. If you have a question, please send it to ask@parvatidevi.com. Have a super weekend!

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality - Part 4: Welcome To Life School

Dear friends,

A year ago today was my last morning in Resolute Bay.

North Pole Journey, Day Six: Back to Iqaluit

We say our goodbyes to Chris at the inn, then Meghan at the airport who drives us to our departure. There is no doubt we are sad to leave. This has been an enormously important trip for each one of us, the likes of which seems still masked by a cloudy feeling that draws across my inner sight. I cannot quite see the magnitude of what this all means. All I know for sure is, like a child who marks their growth with lines on the inside of a doorjamb, the growth of my Self is marked on the doorjamb of my life by this trip to the North Pole....

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Creating Your Reality, Part 4: Welcome To Life School

(Continued from Life Is A Mirror)

Seeing life as a mirror to our thoughts makes life our perfect school, the best place ever to evolve. We then see life constantly supporting our evolution, no matter what happens. We may experience difficulty. No problem! That is life showing us the way we have limiting beliefs, the way we need to grow, things we need to release, etc… If we are true spiritual seekers, this is great news! We now have a moment-to-moment teacher and road map to our evolution: this moment. This moment IS indeed perfection! We have exactly what we need in each moment to evolve, to learn to love and to grow.

It is my belief that we are here on this planet, like diamonds in the rough, going through a rock tumbler called life. Sometimes life moves smoothly, sometimes life feels rough. If we are open, ready and willing, we will have the humility to see that this moment is showing us the summation of who we are up until this moment. We may like it. We may not. Either way, it does not really matter. By welcoming this moment as a gift that reflects our selves, we are able to see the limitations of our beliefs, thoughts and ego and eventually move beyond them so we may merge into the universal field that ties us all together.

Contrary perhaps to some contemporary pop spirituality, I don’t believe that a life of riches, or a life that runs super smoothly, or a life full of worldly recognition, or a life with the success of lavish projects, shows any particular kind of noteworthy evolution or spiritual prowess. I know many wealthy, respected and “accomplished” people who are, simply put, lost. They may think they are doing great, because, look! Look at what reality “they” have created! Wow, aren’t “they” great! And yet to me, they may be further from pure consciousness than perhaps before these apparent “successes”, and further from freedom, joy and enlightenment than the simple janitor that sweeps their floors at night. The ego is indeed a very tricky thing!

I also know people who think they are so spiritual because they have acquired spiritual skills or may know lofty spiritual people. They may even feel quietly proud that “they” have touched these great spiritual heights. Look at what “they” have accomplished and created! But to me, they are missing the spiritual forest for the trees.

It seems to me that the goal of spirituality is to love, to cultivate humility, to serve. If we are lacking these qualities in our life, no amount of philosophy, spiritual or material accolades will quell the inner sense of lack from being off path. We may feel temporarily pleased with what “we” have created, but eventually our ivory tower will crumble. That which we feel “we” do is bound by “reality” and not in service to “Reality”.

If “we” strive to create “reality” (lower case “r”), eventually, we will suffer. It is only when we realize that “we” are not the doers, when we focus on the release of the ego and learn to humbly see ourselves, our shadow and our glory, with honesty and humility, will we begin to “create the reality” that will bring lasting joy.

(Continues tomorrow with Purification Back To The One)

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality - Part 3: Life Is A Mirror

Dear friends,

This week's blog topic continues below, after I take a moment to pause and reflect on my North Pole journey.

A year ago today we were in Resolute Bay, having returned from the North Pole, and we joined with Satish Sikha to unveil his green eco-silk on an iceberg.

North Pole Journey: Day Five

Satish pulls open his fabric from his jute carrying case. Sunanda, Sam and I take a portion to help him draw it open. Rishi runs his video camera up and down its length, capturing its green colour and message fluttering in the wind. Satish seems happy, despite shivering in the freezing cold. He has traveled so far for this moment. On this iceberg, in the middle of the Arctic Ocean, he exposes the hand-penned words of dignitaries from around the world as a call to ecological action in light of the melting polar ice. I am proud to hold the portion of the eco-silk fabric that I happened to sign...

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Creating Your Reality: Part 3 - Life Is A Mirror

(Continued from Reality (Capital “R”) and Reality (Lower Case “r”) )

When we think of ourselves as important and in control, we inevitably suffer. We become attached to matter (objects, people, places, things), feeling we have power over them. But they are temporal; so they will, by their very nature, change. When they change, again, we need to try to gain control over them. On an ego-driven merry-go-round, we eventually experience pain.

Great mystics and sacred texts by enlightened masters tell us that we are not the ones doing, but at best, we are servants reflecting and one with the divine. We think that we are the temporal things such as this body, this personality, these thoughts, these perceptions, but all those go when our time has come. That is reality with the small “r”. But there is an energy within that continues on even after the things bound by time are long turned to dust. That is reality with the capital “R”.

So then, you may ask, what do we do with the temporal, our passing moods, the things that come into our lives that we like, that we don’t like, our emotions, painful and joyful situation? Are they just not real and not important? What are they and why are they in our lives at all?

It is my belief that literally all of life provides us with an opportunity to grow – the good, the bad and the ugly. All of it. There is not one thing in our life that does not serve our evolution in some way.

Life is like a mirror. The more we see it as such, the happier, freer and more loving we will be. The mirror reflects all of our thoughts back to us. We see and experience life through the lens of our mind, which is the accumulation of past memories and future desires. So we see, through the events and experiences of our life, a reflection of what we think, hope, fear, want, dream and remember.

This mirror is our greatest spiritual tool and ally. It provides us with an inescapable and perfectly clear way to see our thoughts and tendencies. You may ask, why would we want to see our thoughts? The simple answer is, so we may purify them.

No one of us is perfect. We all see through the lens of our ego, until we no longer give it power, until it no longer is in charge. Before we become enlightened, we see what we want to see, we believe what we want to believe, we love what we think will make us happy, and we want what we feel we lack. This is the human condition. To add a whole lot of flavour to the mix, each one of us has our own unique colours, shapes and sizes of those wants, beliefs and desires, expressed in our own unique way.

So if you want to know how you “create your reality”, well, you don’t have to look far. Look at what is in your life right now, and you will see an exact reflection of your thoughts and tendencies. If you don’t like it, then you need to be a humble student, face your ego and go within to learn to manage your consciousness more efficiently. Welcome to life school.

(Continues tomorrow with Welcome To Life School)

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality

Dear friends,

Thank you for this week’s emails, Facebook posts and tweets regarding my one-year anniversary of being at the North Pole. I really appreciate your support. To honour the work that was done on that trip, I am currently working on my first music video, using footage from the North Pole, and a short documentary of the trip to share with you all. So please stay tuned for the completion and release of those exciting projects.
This week I also received quite a few Ask Parvati questions. Thank you for those as well! As usual, the one I here answer was chosen lottery style. Enjoy!

The Ask Parvati for this week will begin after today's recollection of my North Pole journey. A year ago today, it was my second day in Resolute.

Day Three, Part One

I wake up to my second morning in Resolute Bay. It is the day before I leave for the North Pole. I feel inwardly warmed by the memory of meeting the Inuit healers Lisa and Louisa last night. What grace to have such palpable, human confirmation that a subtle thread of healing interconnects us all. How else could these women have known before meeting me that I was coming to the North Pole to do healing work for the Earth? It seems the same energy that sparks their inner healing journey also inspires mine. I feel carried by an invisible force, which affirms the rightness of my decision to follow the intuitive guidance, put my musical tour on hold and come to this icy land...

Day Three, Part Two

The light in the sky is dull. It is just early afternoon. In just a month or so it will be dark all day long. This is the way it is in the high Arctic during the early winter months, when winter is always dark and summer is constant light. Today, before the solar orb sinks behind the hills of shale, we hope to see a couple of local sites and review our gear for the final leg of our trip to the North Pole tomorrow morning.

Meghan kindly is driving us along the Arctic Ocean coast towards a local historic site in Resolute Bay to see remains of a thousand-year-old Inuit village....

 

Day Three, Part Three

Sunanda returns from the airport with a look of shock and horror carved in her frozen face. The wig and the boombox were not on the flight. That was the last flight arriving in Resolute Bay before we leave tomorrow morning. Despite all her efforts to ensure the luggage arrived on time, we are left in an awkward situation. So much work, money and effort has gone into this performance at the top of the world. And now, essential pieces for the show are missing.
I waste no time thinking about what is lost and fly into action. We left Toronto with a back-up audio system, so Rishi and I quickly discuss the plan to use an alternative music sources for the performance. But the wig… that is essential and irreplaceable. What to do?...

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Our Reality

Dear Parvati,

The notion of "Creating our own Reality" is very popular these days. Even though I understand it on some level, I think that people sometimes oversimplify it. Can you please explain what "reality" is and what it means to you and how reality is actually created?

PART 1: WHAT DOES IT MEAN, “WE CREATE OUR REALITY”?

Thank you for this question. I agree that the notion of ‘creating our reality’ is very popular with metaphysical teachers these days. I am not particularly involved with these various teachings. Not that I think they are ‘bad’. I don’t really have much of an opinion. It is just that most of them have not really resonated for me so I have not been drawn to explore them in any depth.

I prefer instead to explore my reactions and responses to my own experiences and touch universal truths through the dissolving of the ego. For guidance on my path, I rely on the teachings of saints and realized masters. I also check in with myself as often as possible to see if I feel rooted, vital and expansive in each moment. From what I have seen and heard, I believe that many of the pop metaphysical teachings, such as “you create your reality”, seem far oversimplified.

The notion of “you create your reality” is actually quite subtle, of course powerful, and also complex. It is not for everyone, but for those who truly wish to cultivate deep humility and experience the death of the ego, rather than fuel the ego’s need to feel right, validated, superior, or in control.

I am very much in process with finding out what ‘creating your reality’ really means. Each day I make it a practice to explore the relationship between my thoughts and what I see manifest. I am still very much finding out, evolving and learning.

What interests me most is the gap between thoughts and what we experience to be real. We all have a different sense of reality. Yet there are also universal truths that join us.

In this week's blog entries, I will share what I have found so far in terms of “we create our reality”, with the understanding that I have not yet reached “the goal” of enlightenment. As such, these words are by no means an expression of absolutes, but a humble offering that may serve, based on my experiences.

(Continues tomorrow with Reality (Capital “R”) and reality (Lower Case “r”)

 

 

 

Ask Parvati 29: Art As Soul Food - Part 3: The Source of Creativity - Ego or Selflessness

PART 3: THE SOURCE OF CREATIVITY: EGO OR SELFLESSNESS
(Continued from The Power of Intention)

Some people create art through pain and tension. Some thrive on tight deadlines and panic. Others need relaxed quiet in which to create. Though I can meet a painful situation and create, I tend to use the creative force to move through the pain towards expansion. Though some artists rest in pain and seem to need it to create, pain to me is passing. At best, it is a catalyst to propel me towards healing. It is not an end in itself.

When I wrote the song for 9/11, the pain I witnessed and the compassion I felt cracked open a well of goodness and interconnection. I could have written about injustice and anger, but more sincerely for me, more powerful for me was the call to rest in the field of interconnection.

I have written angry songs, judgmental songs, indignant songs, sad songs and happy songs, but if they do not come from a place of sincerity and honesty, they never make it past my song book and into a recording. I am very picky that way. For me, art is a spiritual practice, a way to challenge my ego and grind it down, so that it dissolves back to the One source.

Some are fueled by accolade and fame, while others hold themselves back and hide in the shadows wondering why. Both are an expression of the ego and living in fear. You can be on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people and never further from your soul voice. If an artistic expression is fueled by the ego, an audience member who seeks to hide and mask pain in their own life will likely resonate with it; while those that seek honesty and humility will not find it appealing.

The source of creativity plays a major part in the end artistic product. I feel artists either create from wanting approval, love, acceptance, etc… or from selflessness, service, surrender, love. The voice of the soul is connected to the infinite. When the artist’s soul speaks, their ego dies a little and so can the ego of the audience. But when the artist’s neuroses drive the creative process, we end up with a potentially catchy piece that can amplify the neuroses in others.

For the most part, I write and create music and produce my shows from a place of joy. Often with a smile on my face while at the computer producing, I am told I am like a kid in a toyshop. I can be seen literally jumping up and down when a certain resonance comes together in a song or a production. I just feel so aligned, so alive, so purposeful and complete. I watch my body to see if I feel expansive or constrictive. I consciously choose to create through expansion.

I wrote and produced my CD and show by following my joy. I am not talking about being happy without sincerity. I speak of the expansive expression of my soul that feels positive and tuned into life. I feel that when I connect to my joy, I contribute to the vibration of joy on the planet.

I wish deeply for all beings to be free, for all to be happy, for all to be without suffering. As such, I must first align my consciousness with these qualities so that I may serve others. I am part of a continual inner purification process in so doing. Housecleaning always starts at home. If we are to truly serve others, we must empty ourselves to be vessels for the divine. For me, emptiness comes from the dissolving of the ego, when we get out of our own way and allow Grace to flow. I feel both empty and full when creating and performing.

I am inspired by what my guru Mata Amritanadamayi Devi (Amma) says about music:

Q: Amma, being an artist, a musician, I would like to know what my attitude toward my profession should be and how to express more and more of my musical talents?

Amma: Art is God’s beauty manifested in the form of music, painting, dance and so forth. It is one of the easiest ways to realize one’s inherent divinity.
There are many saints who found God through music. So, you are specially blessed to be a musician. In regards to your attitude toward your profession, be a beginner, a child in front of God, in front of the divine. This will enable you to tap into the infinite possibilities of your mind. And this, in turn, will help you manifest more and more of your musical talents in a much deeper way.

Q: But, Amma, how to be a child, a beginner?

Amma: Just by accepting and recognizing your ignorance, you automatically become a beginner.

Q: I understand that, but I am not completely ignorant. I am a trained musician.
Amma: How much training do you have?

Q: I studied music for six years and have been a performing artist for the last 14 years.

Amma: How big is space?

Q (sounding a little puzzled): I don’t understand Your question.

Amma (smiling): You don’t understand the question because you don’t understand space, isn’t it?

Q (shrugging his shoulders): Maybe.

Amma: Maybe?

Q: But what is the connection between my question and Your asking, “How big is space?”

Amma: There is a connection. Pure music is as big as space. It is God. It is pure knowledge. It is the secret of allowing the pure sound of the universe to flow through you. You cannot learn music in 20 years. You may have been singing for the last 20 years, but to truly understand music means to realize music as your own Self. In order to realize music as your Self, you need to allow music to completely possess you. For more music to occupy your heart, you need to create more space within. More thoughts mean less space. Now, contemplate on this, “How much space do I have within me to spare for pure music?”
If you really wish more and more of your musical talents to manifest, lessen the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and allow more space for the energy of music to flow through you.

- From Amma’s Heart


(Continues tomorrow with A New Generation of Multi-Media Artist: the Multi-Dimensional Co-Creator)

Ask Parvati 28: Enlightenment and Emotions - Part 4: Body, Mind, Emotion and Compassion

PART 4: BODY, MIND, EMOTION AND COMPASSION

(Continued from What Is The Mind?)

“When the self-created wall of the ego is lifted, you will realize that the dualistic nature of the world is only an external appearance, and that, in essence, everything is a whole, a single unity.” - Amma

When we “want”, we are directed by the energies of our mind and ego. When we are directed by our ego, we inevitably suffer. We can hurt ourselves and we can even hurt others. Our mind does not liberate us. Identifying with our mind restricts us and causes us pain.

Eckhart Tolle’s statement is succinct and clear: “Pain is inevitable as long as you are identified with your mind.” In our process of enlightenment, we learn to slowly dissolve the grip of our mind so that we may return to the field of pure consciousness and become enlightened.

As we dissolve the grip of the mind and of our ego, we face our emotional landscape. Our emotions exist as a bridge between our body and our mind. They are a way our mind expresses itself through our body. As we allow for more space in our mind, our emotions come more to the surface of our field of awareness. So too does the electrical information of all that is around us, including the emotions others may feel.

Emotions move through our body as a means for us to understand more viscerally our mental reactions to thoughts. When we feel afraid, our heart races. When we feel angry, our temperature rises. We feel in response to our thoughts. But our thoughts are not always pure and clear. In fact, our mind tends to only be a collection of expectations and memories. So our emotions tend to be based on the past and the future.

Emotional maturity is essential along the path to enlightenment. We are sentient beings. We feel. It is part of our nature. Just as with thoughts, there is nothing wrong or bad with emotions. There are painful ones and more pleasant ones. But they too, just like thoughts, are temporal. They are not eternal. They come and go. So just as with thoughts, we learn to find the space between emotions.

When the mind is clear, wisdom may effortlessly arise. Similarly, when our emotions are quiet, we may experience the well of compassion. Compassion is not an emotion, but a state of being. Unlike emotions, it is eternal. It is vast and unbound, unaffected by the temporal. It is a state that arises through the release of our identification with our emotions. Amma says:

"Compassion does not see the faults of others. It does not see the weaknesses of people. It makes no distinction between good and bad people. Compassion cannot draw a line between two countries, two faiths or two religions. Compassion has no ego; thus there is no fear, lust or passion. Compassion simply forgives and forgets. Compassion is like a passage. Everything passes through it. Nothing can stay there. Compassion is love expressed in all its fullness."

As we evolve, we learn to move beyond the chatter of emotional reactions and allow the room for compassion to arise. But first, we must learn to witness the ebb and flow of what is, the tides of emotions that move through us, that move through others, with balance, presence and space.

(Continued tomorrow with The Rise And Fall Of Emotions)

 

REMINDER: Don’t forget that tomorrow (Thursday) is the last day for submissions for this week’s Ask Parvati blog. Send your questions to ask@parvatidevi.com.

 

 

Ask Parvati 28: Enlightenment and Emotions - Part 3: What Is The Mind?

PART 3: WHAT IS THE MIND?

(Continued from Enlightenment Now)

“When the walls of a reservoir are destroyed, the waters rush out in all directions. Similarly, when the limitations of restlessness and delusion are removed by meditation, the consciousness of man spreads out to infinity and merges in the omnipresence of Spirit.” - Paramahamsa Yogananda

The mind only knows division. It knows the past as a body of memories. It feels it knows the future as a body of projections. Even though we feel we have lived the past so it is therefore for us “fact”, it is still only a collection of perceptual experiences that make up our reality. It is no more fixed, in essence, than our future, which is a series of perceptual projections based on anticipation and expectation.

When we explore the mind, we see that in fact, it does not exist by any other means than by the energy we give it. We believe our thoughts. We make them fixed. We feel that person hurt us because we experienced that in our past. That is the truth with which we identify. We feel that terrible thing will happen, because that is what we fear. Most of what we think and feel we “know” is a configuration of the mind, mental constructs to help make us feel in control, powerful, important.

But all thoughts are passing. There is no thought that is fixed, permanent or eternal. Thoughts exist within the realm of the temporal. They come. They go. New ones come again. It is the nature of the mind to think, and thinking it does. It goes on and on - thinking - until we bump up against grace and notice that perhaps what we think may not be so fixed and solid after all.

When we look at our lives, we see that what we think in fact is not all that reliable. We think for sure we will get that promotion, or that we won’t get it. We get ourselves all worked up about it, either with excitement or with foreboding. Then the opposite occurs and we are relieved, happy or sad. When the thing we like happens, we are happy. When it does not, we are sad. We are like weathervanes turning in the winds of our passing, ever changing thoughts.

So then what is beyond the mind? Is there something that is not subject to moods, to the ebb and flow, to every whim and change? Does the eternal exist?

Most of us have had, at some point or another, an arresting experience where what we thought was real, turns out to be false. We are shocked, shaken, and a whole new reality opens up to us. In that opening, something magical occurs. Perhaps we notice it. Perhaps we are too afraid of it, so we shake it off and close down again.

If we remain open, we begin to see that between our thoughts is a space, just like the pause that exists between each inhalation and exhalation. In that pause, lies possibility. Yogis have taught this wisdom for millennia through meditation and breathing practices, in which the aspirant learns to observe the space between.

Amma guides us through our attachment to our ego by saying: “By extinguishing the smaller flame of ego, you will lose your identity as a small, limited individual. Nevertheless, this is absolutely nothing compared to what you gain from that apparent loss - the sun of pure knowledge, the inextinguishable light. Also, when you lose your identity as a small, limited self, you become one with the bigger than the biggest, the universe, the unconditional consciousness.”

In the space between, we open up to the field of pure consciousness that has been there all along. It seems that is why our way of understanding change is not the same as how an enlightened being understands change. We see the change we need to make through the lens of our limited, ego self. We either see our self as good, or bad, because that is all the ego can do: divide.

In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says to Arjuna: "What is day for me is night for all beings, and what is night for me is day for all beings." This reference reminds us that what we perceive with our minds is not the way for the enlightened master.

The change we are inspired to embody in the process of enlightenment is one that dissolves the grip of the mind and opens us to the field of possibility that lies as a substratum beyond it. This, in essence, is at the root of meditation practice and ultimately, enlightenment: becoming one with the space through which pure consciousness arises. Eckhart Tolle goes on to say:

“As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.”

As we begin to loosen the grip of our mind and ego, we create space in which we can explore possibility. Part of what arises in the space is the flow of our emotions. So how do we learn to master that flow along our path to enlightenment?

(Continued tomorrow with Body, Mind, Emotion And Compassion)

 

Ask Parvati 28: Enlightenment and Emotions - Part 2: Enlightenment Now

PART 2: ENLIGHTENMENT NOW

(Continued from What Is Enlightenment?)

“Self-realization is the knowing - in body, mind and soul - that we are one with the omnipresence of God; that we do not have to pray that it come to us, that we are not merely near it at all times, but that God's omnipresence is our omnipresence; that we are just as much a part of Him now as we ever will be. All we have to do is improve our knowing.” - Paramahamsa Yogananda

It is my understanding from my meditation practice, and from guidance from great teachers, that our state of unity with the One already exists, but we, for the most part, cannot see it because we are so busy, so caught up with our mind. This is why great masters tell us, it already is, that we can rest into the perfection of the now.

We on the other hand are used to identifying with our mind, to feeling that our ego is in control. We do not allow ourselves to trust and to let go. It is a bit like we are so focused on a tiny speck of cloud, thinking that it is the entire world, we miss the vastness of the sky and the infinite expanse of the universe. Amma describes this attachment to our ego so beautifully:

“Nobody likes to let go of the ego - it is so precious to everyone. However, once you have attained the state of egolessness, the world won't disappear, as you may think it will. The world will continue, but a chance takes place within you. Something is uncovered. You start seeing everything with the wonder and innocence of a child.”

We know that we are evolving, and that through evolution, we change. So we know that change is part of the process of moving towards enlightenment. However, the greats tell us that enlightenment does not actually involve change in the way most of us would think it to mean.

Most of us see change as to mean “be other than you are”, a sort of moving away from and moving towards something else. Yet the enlightened masters tell us that what we seek does not exist “out there”, but only in the infinite expanse of the now. We are told that what we seek is already here. We are told that what we are is already perfection. Great teachers like Eckhart Tolle say, “You find God the moment you realize that you don't need to seek God.”

Those kinds of thoughts can quickly become mentally confusing. Like the famous Zen koan by the Japanese teacher Hakuin Ekaky, “Two hands clap and there is a sound. What is the sound of one hand?” designed to throw a wrench in the mind’s sense of control, statement from the enlightened can leave us feeling confused, our minds reeling. For example, how can we become enlightened and also not change?

Most of us who are seeking to better ourselves or who consider enlightenment as a goal know that we have bad habits that must be overcome in order for us to evolve. In Sanskrit, teachers refer to these as our “vasanas”, our negative tendencies. We know we get ourselves into painful situations and we would like to stop doing so. So how can we already be in a state of perfection?

It seems that most of us get caught up in “wanting” to be other than we are, and therein lies the rub. We “want” to be free. We “want” to be happy. We “want” enlightenment. We “want” to have fewer emotional reactions or more emotional connection, so we live with anticipations and expectations, in dissonance with the fullness of the present moment. How many of us know how to let go and be with what actually is, now?

Eckhart Tolle says, “Life is now. There was never a time when your life was not now, nor will there ever be.”

The benevolent group of channeled guides from the Causal Realm known warmly as The Team beautifully repeat in most of their teachings that we are to practice non-resistance to what is. In previous blog entries, I have explored this idea in many different ways. If we are to move into an enlightened state and flow with emotions with wisdom compassion, we must practice non-resistance to what is.

We tend to live in a push/pull dynamic, resisting what is because we deem it “bad”, or we grab onto it because we deem it “good”. This is what the mind does. It divides. It categorizes. It tries to control, so that we feel important. But we are told that enlightenment is beyond the mind, so we know that somehow, the mind, our thoughts and our ego interfere with the experience of enlightenment.

We speak of the mind easily, as though we understand what it is. But what is the mind? How does it interfere with our evolutionary journey towards the One? And how do we get beyond it?

(Continued tomorrow with What Is The Mind?)

Ask Parvati 27: Addiction - Part 5: Helping Versus Enabling

PART 5: HELPING VERSUS ENABLING

(Continued from Getting Help)

For those who love a person who struggles with addiction, it is so very painful to see. Ultimately, we too need to admit that we are powerless over the addiction. We want to help. We see those we love in pain. We want to take that pain away. But we cannot make changes for anyone but ourselves. It is often hard enough to make changes for ourselves. We are powerless to make the changes for those we love.

Often addicts find themselves close to people that enable. Enablers are harder to see sometimes than addicts, because enablers seem kind and helpful. They are ever wiling to help, cover up, make excuses, clean up the mess, tippy-toe around addicts. There is a powerful yet very subtle ego force at play with enablers. They are doing “good deeds”, so they are “good” people, “helping” those “poor souls” with the problem. But they have a problem too.

Unfortunately, too often these good intentions end up feeding addiction and not in any way helping. Because addiction is based on consumption and wanting, it is insatiably hungry. It needs attention. It needs to ingest, to buy, to take, to feed. It feeds on attention as well. When we tippy-toe around it, the addiction energy feels powerfully important. When we cry for it, yell at it, rage at it, pray for it, plead with it, fight it, we are in fact feeding the addiction.

Tough love, clear boundaries and a no-nonsense attitude are the only way to be around anyone with addiction. Whether you are around someone with an addiction or whether you are questioning whether you yourself are an addict, a powerful tool is to ensure that your actions and your words are in alignment. Those with addictions are used to spin doctoring, twisting the truth, or outright lying to try to get their way, to try to satiate their feeling of wanting, to get the hit their disease needs.

This does not mean we need to be cold or cruel. Tough love means being rooted, clear and strong. And in fact, these are also qualities that you can find in compassionate action. When we are sentimentally involved, we become entangled. When we are compassionate, we are a clear witness to what is: present, open, available, but rooted in self-love. We must stay rooted in who we are and what we want from our lives, because we can easily get sucked into the vortex of addiction. Addiction has a gravitational pull. If we are too close and not grounded, soon we will get sucked into the drama too.

We must stand at a safe distance from someone with an addiction, be present for ourselves, available to support him or her, and get on with our own life. Ultimately, we can change ourselves. We cannot change anyone else. Too often our lives get put on hold while we focus on trying to fix the one with the problem, not realizing that in fact, we too have a problem.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Sobriety begins with taking a step towards self love, self worth, valuing yourself enough to let go of things that drag you down. People who are not addicts have the brain chemistry to know the difference between habits that are not useful and habits that are. Addicts have a harder time with that and must learn this discernment. The brain is plastic and can change. New habits are possible. Health, sobriety and a life that works are possible for everyone, even for an addict. As for everyone, we must be willing to admit we have a problem, look at our shadow and embrace the fullness of who we are.

EXERCISE
1) Are there addicts in your life that you are enabling?

2) In which way have you allowed someone’s addiction to rule your life?

3) What do you need to do to take the self-loving steps to focus on your own life?

4) If you find it hard to separate yourself from an addict, perhaps because you feel guilty, then you need professional help. You likely need to go to Al-Anon and/or work with a professional therapist that specializes in addiction.

REMINDER: Don’t forget that today submissions are due for this week’s Ask Parvati blog. Send your questions to ask@parvatidevi.com

(Continued tomorrow with We Attract What We Know)

Ask Parvati 22: It's A Spiritual Life - Part 3, Living A Spiritual Life

LIVING A SPIRITUAL LIFE

(Continued from “We Are Divine”)

We tend to use the word “spiritual” loosely, easily, and often. But what does being “spiritual” mean? The root of the word is spirit, that which is eternal and non-physical. So to be spiritual is to invite the infinite, non-formed spirit into our lives, into our field of awareness. To be spiritual is to dissolve our illusion of duality, the illusion of separation, the illusion that our ego is in control.

Living a spiritual life involves both surrender and discipline. We must cultivate humility so we may let go of thinking we are in charge and have it all figured out. When we empty ourselves, we receive. When we open, we are fulfilled. When we give, we get.

It requires discipline to train our awareness to see the divine in all. Our habit is to feel disconnected and against what is. We tend to feel lack, so we must strive. We tend to push, fight, rush and constrict due to a deep sense of wanting. Spiritual living requires a complete inner and outer world view retraining, so that we may learn through a quiet mind and open heart, to serve, to love, and truly live.

Our lives are the sum of our choices. What we experience is a reflection of our thoughts, which fuel our actions. If we want to live a spiritual life, if we wish for grace, we must be willing to make spiritual choices.

Spiritual choices come from developing spiritual attributes, such as kindness, understanding, compassion, generosity, love, and selflessness. As spiritual aspirants, we learn to see all in our life as an opportunity to grow, to love, and to serve.

Becoming spiritually aware, we begin to see all that this moment brings as prasad, a blessing from the divine. We may or may not like what this moment brings. That does not matter. What matters is our willingness to learn from what is, and fully open to this moment. In so doing, our ego dissolves and we discover our true, infinite, divine nature.

(Continues tomorrow with “Commitment and Courage”)

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga Is Everywhere - Part 6, Tantra

TANTRA

(Continued from Nada Yoga: The Yoga of Sound)

 

Tantra is greatly misunderstood in the West. Incorrectly thought to be the yoga of sacred sex, confusing orgasm with spiritual bliss, Tantra is instead an ancient, wise and powerful yogic path that few can tread even with the necessary guidance of a fully realized master. Hatha yoga, the notion that yoga is everywhere and the belief that one may find the divine through creative arts all have their roots in the tantric yogic tradition.

 

Ajit Mookerjee, tantric art scholar, says, "Tantra is both an experience of life and a scientific method by which man can bring out his inherent spiritual power.” His writings stress the awesome potential inherent in true spiritual art, defining this as "art created through spiritual discovery". He believed such art to be loaded with the Power of the Goddess and that it was actually part of the body of the Great Goddess.

 

According to the Tibetan Buddhist Tantric master Lama Thubten Yeshe, “each one of us is a union of all universal energy. Everything that we need in order to be complete is within us right at this very moment. It is simply a matter of being able to recognize it. This is the tantric approach.”

 

I love the descriptions of Tantra by the widely respected yogic scholar Georg Feuerstein who penned one of my favorite books, “Yoga: The Technology of Ecstasy”. For those of you who have seen me perform my song “Yoga In the Nightclub” (and if you have not yet, please come out!) I use elements of the following quote from Dr. Feuerstein in my extended yoga studio version of the house music track:

 

“What Tantric masters aspired to was to create a transubstantiated body, which they called adamantine (vajra) or divine (daiva) – a body not made of flesh but of immortal substance, of Light. Instead of regarding the body as a meat tube doomed to fall prey to sickness and death, they viewed it as a dwelling-place of the Divine and as the caldron for accomplishing spiritual perfection. For them, enlightenment was a whole body event.”

 

Tantra refers to both an esoteric school of Hinduism and Buddhism and to a group of scriptures known as The Tantras. The Sanskrit word tantra is derived from two Sanskrit words “tanoti”, which means to stretch, to extend, or to expand, and “trayati” which means liberation. As such, Tantra can be seen as a technique for stretching ourselves, for extending our capacity for attention to the utmost, for expanding our sense of awareness to meet the fullness of what is. According to some, the word tantra also means "to weave", suggesting that reality is a seamless whole, one continuum of interwoven fabric made up of spirit and matter.

 

This path to enlightenment focuses on the worship of the Goddess or Shakti. Through spiritual practices and ritual forms of worship, the goal of a tantric practitioner is to find freedom from ignorance and the cycles of death and rebirth through realizing the universe as the divine play of Shakti and Siva, the male and female principle.

 

Unlike any other yogic path, Tantra insists that spirit and matter are aspects of one whole. In some yogic traditions, a yogi learns to separate himself from the world. Tantra however urges the need to join seeming opposites and revel in a synthesis of reality and consciousness. While some yogic traditions encourage students to seek liberation from the body and the world, Tantra sees liberation in the world. For the tantric, the world is an expression of divine play of which we are an integral part. The body is a microcosm of the universe. As such, it is a powerful vehicle for liberation, an alchemical crucible in which spiritual transformation can occur.

 

In his book "Tantra Asana: A Way to Self-realization", Ajit Mookerjee says, "Tantra itself is unique for being a synthesis of bhoga and yoga, enjoyment and liberation. There is no place for renunciation or denial in Tantra. Instead, we must involve ourselves in all the life processes which surround us. The spiritual is not something that descends from above, rather it is an illumination that is to be discovered within."

 

“Wow! A spiritual path that embraces all of life as divine! Sounds perfect!” you may be thinking. Here is the catch. When a spiritual aspirant begins to look at matter and the body as vehicles for spiritual evolution and personal transformation, he begins to walk the razor’s edge journey to spiritual enlightenment. He must learn to discern between the ego’s tricky wanting and expansive evolution. He must learn to balance the relationship between Nature’s involutionary tendency, that is, the rootedness of being in form, and the evolutionary cosmic play as it unfolds spiritually.

 

A tantric aspirant can easily either become overly mired in the pleasures of the physical and lose spiritual expansion, or he can become overly lofty, detached and ungrounded by the spiritual and lose the presence of the physical. Like a gracious balancing act, the tantric yogi walks an extremely potent path that is both delicate and dangerous.

 

I agree with Georg Feuerstein who stresses the need for tantric aspirants to find the guidance of realized masters. I could not list the number of people I have seen over the years in my teaching and healing work – beginner and advanced practitioners, even teachers - who feel they have found their path through Tantra, yet are more lost than ever. Without a guru while on the tantric path, one runs the risk of losing the plot altogether and sinking into the mire of seductive wanting.

 

I have met many people in the yogic world who expulse wise teachings, but vibrate with constrictive and involutionary energies. Void of humility, openness, honesty and pure spiritual shakti, people can easily become trapped in the tantric path.

 

The ego is a tricky and hungry thing that has power only when we feed it. But sometimes – even often - we are unaware we are doing so. Just as a chameleon can change colour to blend with its surrounding, so too our ego can shift and fool us to suit our desires. We may think we are evolving when in fact we are unconsciously justifying our self-serving ego.

 

The ego can even quietly adjust to fool us, so that we think we are growing when we are actually becoming more attached. It can even feign enlightenment. A spiritual aspirant must be careful of this. Only when we have surrendered to the guidance of a fully realized master can we overcome this.

 

(Continues tomorrow with Being Relaxed And Alert)

 

Ask Parvati 12 - Psyched About Being Psychic?

PSYCHED ABOUT BEING PSYCHIC

I am often asked how to develop more intuition. Recently I received two questions on that topic. It seems as we embrace spring and clear out the old, making way for the new, people are looking to see more clearly as they make wiser, more inspired decisions. This week, we take a look at learning to navigate in the unseen. Thank you for your questions!

Dear Parvati,

How can I become more intuitive? I sense things sometimes about myself and about others and sometimes the hits turn out to be right. But other times I'm way off base or it's just totally blank. I wish I could see more. Can I do meditations to open my third eye or something to become more psychic?

Dear Parvati,

How do you know when 'angels' or other 'messages' are coming to you, as opposed to your own thoughts creating them? I find this dilemma to be a bit of a battle for me, which then interferes with 'faith'. How does one know if they are receiving guidance from an external source rather than creating it themselves? How do you differentiate? Or can you?

WE EXIST WITHIN THE WHOLE

We exist within a vast, multidimensional whole. I have said that in many other blog posts. What does it really mean? We can think of our interconnection with 'all that is' in a tangible way. Think of this: the air you are breathing right now is air I too am breathing right now. It is also the same air that someone in Africa, China and Chile is breathing right now. That air also flows right now in and out of plants, animals, humans, and all things living. Wow!

All that exists on Earth is affected by gravity. There is a force that keeps us here, literally. We know we are affected by the cycles of the sun. Light dims, we get sleepy. Not enough light through the day, we can get depressed. As the moon shifts, the ocean tides change, and so do the tides in our body, being, personality and perceptions.

The force that creates form, the material world as we see it, is not visible to our eyes. But we can see its effect. We can see how in spring, the flowers grow and new life is born to animals and plants. There is a force at work. We can see its effects, but we cannot see it. Or can we?

THE UNSEEN

Seers for millennia have been able to see that which is not visible to most. The vital energy of plants can be seen as rays of colour, sparkling auric fields, dancing life. People's thoughts and emotions project colour, texture and shape. Those who are particularly open and sensitive, such as children, are more likely to see an angel. Some people can see and communicate with the deceased or wandering spirits that have lost their way. What are they doing to access the unseen?

There is a whole heck of a lot going on in each moment, more than we commonly realize. Our brains are designed for survival to edit information so we can get the tasks at hand complete. But as we evolve spiritually, our minds become quieter and our thoughts slow down. The space between thoughts increases so that we are more receptive to possibility, the field of pure consciousness. Our minds become clearer windows into what is, less cluttered by a desire to control this moment. In this quiet, we can see, hear, feel, taste and smell more... not with our physical senses, but with latent senses designed specifically to connect with the unseen.

DEVELOPING A SIXTH SENSE

As we lessen our attachment and identification with our mundane, physical five senses, we awaken our senses that touch the unseen. The area between the eyebrows at the center of the forehead becomes internally quiet and expands so that we may see, not with our physical eyes, but with an inner, intuitive eye, that which is not physically present. The experience of seeing in this subtler way is not like seeing with our eyes. It can be like seeing multidimensional passageways of light, a high speed film, brilliant flashes of crystal clear insight into alternate possibilities, or visions of beings and realms beyond than which are limited by gravity... to name a few.

The same is true for the inner ear, a gift that allows us to hear that which is not audible; or subtle smell, to become aware of perfumes that are undetected by the nose; or subtle touch, to feel the non-physical. For example, in my early days doing energy work, part of my guidance came through smell. When energies that were present but not physically visible were benevolent, often a floral smell spontaneously appeared in the room. When malefic energies were present, usually a sulfuric or putrid smell would appear. Or I could hear voices that would either be guiding me or distracting me. Just like I said in a recent blog, discernment is key on the spiritual path. I had to learn what was created by my own personality, what was emerging from beyond me, what was guidance and what was distraction.

STAYING GROUNDED AND HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

A Vedic Astrologer once looked at my chart and exclaimed, "You have a very strong relationship with the unseen!" It is true. Ever since I can remember, I was one who was in touch with realms that others could not sense existed. One scene from my childhood was me excitedly calling my mom, saying, "Who is that lady in the blue dress in the living room?" To Mom, the living room was empty. The visiting woman looked different to me than people in the house, not only because she had very odd fashion sense (her Victorian dress was long since passé) but because she did not seem as thick, dense or solid.

My sensitivity, as predicted by the astrologer, continues to be an important and strong part of my life. It is a skill I was born with, yes, like those who have greater facility with math than others. But it is a potential we all have and one that can be developed with patience, non-attachment and humility. My work in the unseen has been an ongoing relationship, refined through trial and error and meeting teachers who could inspire my path.

One very important piece in my journey has been that I do not go looking for things in the unseen. Just as it is bad manners (and bad karma!) to read another's mail, so too it is not good psychic etiquette to try to read another's mind or see if you can see what colour underwear they are wearing. Boundaries are super important in our mundane world in order to have healthy relationships. It is even more important in the unseen. Just as you take on karma for peeking at someone's private diary, so too, it is a bad idea to go looking for psychic info without full consent.

When we learn to work with the unseen, we must learn to remain grounded, rather than jettisoning out of our body and out into other aspects of the universe. I firmly believe that we have all that we need right here, right now, in order to evolve. We don't need intuitive skills. In fact, they can greatly amplify one's ego, quicker than almost anything else on the spiritual path. So if you are desiring to be more intuitive, I would ask myself where that impulse comes from.

NO ATTACHMENTS, NO AGENDA

The ego is a tricky thing and ultimately we are on the planet to release our attachment to it. Many people who have asked me over the years about wanting to become more psychic I have felt were asking from ego, trying somehow to gain more control over their lives, more power over the moment rather than learning to open to what is. I deeply feel that psychic skills, if they are meant to be part of your life, will arise naturally, usually through a dedicated spiritual practice that is rooted in humility and non-attachment. When we express "wanting", there is ego. When there is ego, there is no clarity but a desire to distort what is to suit one's sense of need. When there is wanting and control, there is attachment and clouded perception.

True psychic skills happen completely without agenda. Firstly, when I have agreed to offer my intuitive skills for others’ insight, it is when I have been asked to do so. Secondly, I must be in a place of complete non-resistance to what is... non-attached to what I may see or to results I may want. As such, it takes greatest mastery to practice divination for oneself, close friends, family members, or for situations where we may have a vested interest. It is possible, but only after years of practice and discernment, for one to see beyond desire. A true psychic is an impartial witness to what is with no agenda, a simple, humble servant to the Divine. This is very important.

In the realm of the unseen, there is much trickiness. There are drifting spirits, like your dead uncle who sees himself now as an enlightened being just waiting for someone to open themselves up to share his "insights". Though that information would come from the non-physical, it would not necessarily be clear or accurate. There are also dark, ignorant and deluded energies, which one would want to avoid, that convolute, distort and feed on others’ ignorance... in this case, yours. There are also energies that only love and serve. One's impartiality is the only means to navigate a world of such potential stickiness.

Psychic and paranormal skills called (in Sanskrit) Siddhis, do naturally develop along the spiritual path. But they are not the goal and must not be confused as such. For some, they are just a passing phase along the road to return to the One. Is not our spiritual goal to embody bliss and pure divine love, and not to read tea leaves? Just like all things that have form (and the unseen has form, just of a subtler construct) these intuitive skills will come and go, dissolve and pass as we evolve. We must not be attached to them.

DIVINE GUIDANCE

So how do you know it is not just you making it all up? Just as you must learn to act without attachments if you are to interact safely with the unseen, benevolent beings that are worthy of interaction also have no "wanting", attachment energy or controlling agenda. I have heard of channels who encounter entities with a very strong directive that eventually take control over their lives. This is unhealthy. Benevolent beings like angels do not push, pull or control a meeting. One's ability to remain grounded, unattached and neutral is essential to safely contact the unseen. When grace happens, is it just there, without any stickiness, constriction or fear.

In some ways, it does not really matter if what you are hearing or sensing is coming from an angelic force or from you, as long as you are serving the highest good in all and are continuing to practice the release of the ego's grip as expressed through your attachments. I can say that what comes from within one's body is usually the voice of the soul. What rattles in one's head is usually the mind creating a narrative. What is expressed outside and around your body are entities, whether clear ones or not.

For years I said that my body is my guru. It never lies. By learning to understand different physical signs, my body constantly keeps me in alignment with my soul and spirit. I feel sitting meditation is key to awakening one's intuitive skills, if not just for the simple reason that sincere meditation is a process of dissolving the ego and purifying the body. When I sense the unseen, I am grounded and relaxed. Being rooted in one's self, feeling vital and expansive are all important starting points.

Once I feel centered, I see/hear things in terms of quadrants in my energy field. I know from experience that hearing voices or seeing images through different places in and around my body, will be either tricky or benevolent energies. So you can ask yourself, is the voice or sense in the front of your head? Within your heart? In your gut? Outside your body? To your upper left? Upper right? Where and how is information being communicated? For me, things I feel/see I can relate to in terms of quadrants as to where I am feeling/seeing them. Over the years, I have a developed a multidimensional map-like system in the unseen with specific benchmarks and signposts. My way of communicating within the unseen landscape is constantly evolving as I evolve.

SUMMARY

Everyone will have their own way to sense/feel/see the unseen. It takes practice and humility to discover your own way. There are however some universal points that are worth mentioning here:

1. MEDITATION: Develop a meditation practice where you sit for five, ten, twenty minutes, however long you feel you can while maintaining an uninterrupted focus on your breath or your mantra. If you want to start meditating but are not sure how, I wrote a blog recently on that. Please take a look.
2. INTEGRITY: Ask yourself why you want to become more psychic. Make sure you are not in some way trying to skirt around perhaps some uncomfortable feelings or trying to feel more powerful in some way.
3. BOUNDARIES: Never try to read someone's mind or eavesdrop on conversations. Respect boundaries.
4. NON-ATTACHMENT: Never have an agenda about what you want to see, hear or feel. Remember that you are not the doer. You are in humble service to the Divine.
5. STAY GROUNDED: Your body/being/emotions must feel neutral at all times. Otherwise in some way your own personality and ego are getting involved and trying to control information.
6. RECEPTIVITY: Do not leave your body to see if you can meet other beings, or see/feel/hear more. Allow any information come to you, not you going to it.
7. ALL IS PERFECT: You have everything you need to know right here, right now. Feel quiet and content with what is rather than wanting more. Keep focusing on that which feels rooted, vital and expansive. The rest will take care of itself.

EXERCISE

The only exercise I will suggest is this. Go to the park. Sit quietly near some flowers. Watch them and see if you can let go of creating a story about them such as, "Oh, I love this type of flower. My boyfriend gave me them last Valentines..." Just watch the flowers. See how they are in space, how the wind touches them, how they root to the Earth... just watch, no narrative.

After some time, rather than moving your energy deeper into the flowers (as though you want to read it... Remember? Boundaries!), pull your energy and mind back a bit, as though you were receiving the flowers' energy. Open to the flowers. Politely ask if they have anything to say. Remain quiet, receptive and unattached. Actively listen with your heart.

You may feel nothing. You may just feel warmth, or kindness. Or you may hear words like your own voice saying this is stupid or you are hungry. Or perhaps there is something else... Whatever it is, it does not matter. Should you feel you have received a message, watch the tendency for the ego to potentially constrict around it and own it. The information was already there before you became conscious of it. It is not yours. Again, whatever it is, it does not matter. Remember, you are not attached, but a compassionate witness to what is.

After some time, thank the flowers and move along. 

Enjoy the flowers,

Parvati