Transforming Pain into Love

From Self-Betrayal To Self-Love: Steadiness and Gratitude On The Path 

Part 2: Transforming Pain into Love

Today is Maha Sivaratri, an annual Hindu celebration in praise of Lord Siva who out of compassion drank poison and in so doing, saved the world. “Om Namah Sivaya!” to all those who honour this festival.

Every year this celebration happens during Lent, when Christians turn their hearts and prayers towards Easter. Though my spiritual teacher was born in the Hindu tradition, I grew up in a Christian home. I went to Sunday school every weekend, said grace at meals and was guided by parents who openly discussed their faith. My father had a daily morning contemplative practice and my grandmother was the first to introduce me to meditation and practiced for over 50 years. 

After a year living in India, having left my career as an architect to deepen my understanding of yoga and meditation, though circumstance I ended up working part time as a lay assistant minister (non-ordained) for the church where I was baptized in Montreal. I have felt a close relationship with this spiritual path and have felt very grateful for the guidance I received as a child to be open to spiritual “otherness”, no matter what spiritual path we may choose.

Yet, the whole Judas betraying Jesus thing never really made sense to me. In the Christian story, Jesus was betrayed the night before he was crucified, by one of his closest followers, Judas. So here is this wise master who can perform all sorts of miracles, who so happens to have in his closest entourage a guy that ends up betraying him. How could that be? And what is the supposed Grace in such a betrayal?

Last week, I shared how I watched myself turn myself “black and blue” though hurtful self-talk and by holding onto painful feelings. That incident guided me to contemplate self-love more deeply and has helped me understand more fully how we create our reality. 

What has transpired for me, since then, is a feeling of gratitude for the “toxic” people who have come and gone through my life over the years. And no, contrary to many popular “manifesting” manifestos, I am not planning on attracting more people like that into my life by feeling grateful for them. On the contrary, I feel that through gratitude and self-forgiveness, I am letting them go so that they no longer need to come back into my life and mirror back aspects of myself I do not see.

It is like the famous saying: “There but by the Grace of God go I.” We are far more similar than we realize, and all so inter-connected. What I see as painful in another person is potentially something I could do to myself, or maybe even something I am doing to myself or to another. By being witness to another person’s painful energy, I am given a gift: I can see my own shadows more clearly so I can accept them and let them go.

When I recently recorded this “aha” moment in my diary, I wrote the word “toxic” to describe the people that have hurt me in the past. I could feel a part of me want to judge them for being “bad” and “wrong”. But as my pen touched the page, the opposite flowered in my heart. I felt closer to them than I ever had. 

Then it came to me: I had a deeper understanding of Judas. His betrayal of Jesus was actually a part of how Jesus fulfilled his life’s work. Through Judas, Jesus transcended into eternal life. Because Judas “told on” Jesus, Jesus was crucified. And because Jesus was crucified, Jesus showed his followers that he was not limited to the body but was beyond. Similarly, on Maha Sivaratri, Siva drank poison and shows us that we are not limited by day and night, that is, time, but that our true nature is beyond all things and is eternal.

What crystallized in my cells in that moment is something that has floated around my thoughts before: there is NO-thing (nothing) that is not part of the greater whole. In other words, everything that happens has a purpose and is part of a greater whole. So how could I but feel gratitude? This whole is me. I am the whole. That other person is also the whole. We are the whole together.

Painful acts by others, and those that I have acted upon myself and others, have brought me face to face with my own shadow, so that I could forgive myself, let resentments go, and transcend into the fullness of love. 

By no means does this justify painful acts. But it reminds us that flowers grow out of manure and compost. The lotus, a symbol in the East for enlightenment, blooms in murky waters. I do not believe that pain is a pre-requisite for growth. After all, there are exquisite things that grow hydroponically! But if we meet painful things with openness and humility, they could become fuel for the most powerful expansion experiences we may ever have.

I look forward to sharing more about this “aha” moment next week when I take a look at cultivating self-love.

Until then, be well,

Parvati 

Ask Parvati 32: Gratitude, the Action of Grace - Part 1: Giving Thanks For All We Have

GRATITUDE

Dear Parvati,

I have learned that approaching circumstances with gratitude is a great catalyst for opening, transformation and healing. But sometimes it's really hard. I especially struggle to find gratitude in situations in which I perceive injustice. I also am not really all that happy with my own life. How do we feel gratitude when faced with personal dissatisfaction and with so much unrighteousness all over the world?

Thank you for this question. This weekend is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada, so I presume that is partly what fuelled your question. Gratitude is a key that unlocks many riches and much joy. Let us explore the notion of gratitude this week. 

PART 1: GIVING THANKS FOR ALL WE HAVE

This is Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. Whether you celebrate with a turkey, contemplate grateful thoughts or prefer to skip it all together, this celebration is a true Canadian happening that can support your spiritual awakening if you so choose.

Like in the US, Canadian Thanksgiving blends the European and Native traditions to give thanks for the harvests. But in Canada, Thanksgiving also celebrates a homecoming. In 1578, the explorer Martin Frobisher held an official ceremony in Newfoundland to give thanks for his safe journey through the Arctic Ocean's Northwest Passage. A year ago, I echoed Frobisher's thanks during my Thanksgiving festivities around this time, feeling grateful for my safe return from the North Pole.  

Complaining is easy. Perhaps that is why so many do it. It has an entropic force that seems to pull us along. It can even be addictive, our ego getting high on our sorry stories, feeling we deserve more, leaving us endlessly wanting. 

Thanksgiving gives us a gentle reminder to practice gratitude. Yet, many can feel there is little to be grateful for. But when we look at the immensity of the world and all the people on it, we can quickly reconsider any feelings of being hard done by. 

If you live in Canada, North America, or Europe, you are blessed with a cornucopia of opportunities. We are not war-torn countries struggling with famine, drought, brutal dictatorships or tyrannical political regimes. We have free will. We have free mobility. We have freedom of speech. We have supportive health care. We have the means to make the life we choose to have. We are immensely blessed! So if you have a hard time finding gratitude in your life, then perhaps put yourself in someone else's shoes for a moment, such as someone living in Somalia, and consider what your life would be like. 

My year living in India taught me, in part, to see this way. I was brought up in a Christian home and taught to see the needs of others, collecting for Unicef and doing volunteer work at food banks as a child. These were important teachings that created a seedbed for my personality and spiritual being to blossom. But the reality of the blessings of my life did not hit home until I was living in the midst of tremendous poverty. 

When I was around people who had very little, I was shown the capacity to love. My inspiration to love did not spontaneously spring forth from my inner being, but grew in awe from experiencing the selflessness from others. I was living in a small village in Rajasthan, in the Northern part of India. It was amazing to see how people with so little would still have the sense to give. Whomever I was with, I was offered what food they had. If there was enough food in a meal for six hungry mouths, then they would divide what they had into seven to accommodate me. Even though people had so little, there was a feeling of internal space, and ultimately, wealth.

Watching the poor village women taught me about taking care of my body. We can take our physical selves for granted. We can bathe when we want to, buy whatever cleaning products we want, go to the beauty salon, buy new clothes, etc…Yet often fashion trends in wealthy countries can glamorize grunge styles, unwashed hair, unkempt clothes, tattered presence. Amazingly, in the tiny village in India, even the very poorest of women would wash their clothes and iron their saris. If they could not afford gold or silver jewelry, they would wear plastic bangles. If they could not afford fancy hair clips, they would keep clean, tidy hair and find a simple pin or flower to embellish their style. There was a sense of dignity and self-respect that I found mesmerizing and noble. Though a single life there was cheaply valued with mortality rates high, immense poverty, illness and tremendous political corruption, there was a sense of meeting the day with all they had to the best of their abilities. 

Of course, there is diversity everywhere. I mean not to make sweeping generalizations about cultures. I simply share what I witnessed, that perhaps having a lot is not a prerequisite to feelings of gratitude. 

It is possible that our wealth breeds complacency. Tempted by manufacturing abundance, we may want more and forget to feel contented with what we have. If we were not able to have more, due to our circumstance, would we still want? Or would we find a way to feel happy with what we have? Have we fallen prey to cultural greed?

From my experience, abundance comes from the feeling of enough, not from feeling not enough. If we want to feel fulfilled, we need to begin to practice gratitude for what we have. If we are going around saying, "I am not enough. I don't have enough. There is not enough…" consciously or unconsciously, we are in effect creating that reality, the reality of not enough. Is it any surprise then that we feel unfulfilled?

If we begin to meet this moment as it is, with all its colours, dark and light, we begin to see possibility in our lives. We let go of wanting things to be other than they are, and start to feel rooted, vital and expansive in this moment now. It is there that we find happiness. It is there we find abundance. It is there we find gratitude. When we feel grateful for what is, we begin to tap into a wealth of power and vitality that had been waiting all along. We were just too busy looking for fulfilment elsewhere. 

So this Thanksgiving weekend, do yourself and the world a favour. Write a list of all the things you feel grateful for, however small or large. It could be, "I like the colour of my eyes", or it could be, "I feel grateful that I paid off my credit card". Challenge yourself to go deeper than you usually would. Once you have your list, take a moment to breathe in the wealth of gratitude you already have. This is your life. Let it be one rooted in gratitude and grace. 

Throughout the week, I will be exploring in this blog the notion of gratitude in various aspect of our lives. May you feel grateful and abundant in all you do!

(Continued tomorrow with It Is All Grace)

Ask Parvati 31: Relationship Complications - Part 1, Jealousy and the Ego

RELATIONSHIP COMPLICATIONS

Dear Parvati:

I know jealous thoughts and feelings come from our ego but why, if I know that, do they hurt so badly? What part of my ego is in resistance? What relation is there between unfaithful and cheated on past experiences? How can I transcend anger, lack of confidence and self esteem when I know is ego playing tricks in my mind and these situation is unresolved? How can I heal past relationships wounds and let go to start living my life? It seems I have this pending topic 12 years ago and I fell on a depression state but in that moment I didn't follow a therapy or anything. How can I deal with that and start trusting myself and a possible future partner, from a difference perspective out of ego?? It hurts so bad and I feel blackened...

Thanks for your kind advice.

Thank you very much for your question this week, which really is a series of many questions! I will be answering them over the course of this week. I answered in a more conversational tone, like a question answer discussion, due to the many questions that were sent in here. I also reference other blog posts I wrote as this question touches upon many topics I have looked at over the past year. Please send in your questions to be answered for next week at ask@parvatidevi.com.

Relationships are complicated for most of us. We hardly have a handle on how to relate to ourselves in a healthy manner, let alone to another person. And perhaps, that is part of the problem. Because we look for fulfilment outside ourselves, we end up not focusing on developing a strong foundation for inter-personal relationships. All relationships that last must be built on a strong relationship to our self, one that is rooted in self-respect and self-love. We can only love another as well as we love ourselves. Yet even when relationships don't work out the way we had hoped, we can find healing and personal growth. Our capacity to love can deepen. If we are willing to have humility and look at what life is mirroring back to us, we may just find that the person we once loved, then hated, we can still love, in gratitude for the lessons they brought into our life. Life is constantly teaching us and supporting our evolution. All things that happen are Grace. If you have not read last week's blog topic on Creating Your Reality, you may find it helpful.

PART ONE: JEALOUSY AND THE EGO

Question: I know jealous thoughts and feelings come from our ego but why, if I know that, do they hurt so badly?

My answer: Things hurt because we are attached to that which is impermanent. We want things to be exactly as we want them to be. That is our ego. But life is full of change. It is ever evolving. If we hinge our happiness on that which is impermanent, we had best be prepared to learn to let go, or we will get hurt.

We identify with things happening "to me", rather than feeling we are part of a much greater whole. We think life is someone else's doing, rather than our thoughts reflected back to us. If your thoughts hurt, then you are identifying with those thoughts as real. Jealous thoughts are just a reaction from a wounded place that does not yet see the full picture of what is. If we were to reveal the hidden mysteries in each moment, we could only love. When we feel pain, we have not yet found Truth.

If you feel jealousy, then you are feeling a lack of love. Jealousy only comes when we feel we are not enough, not loved enough, not talented enough, not good looking enough… If you are identified with not enough in any way, you will feel jealous.

Question: What part of my ego is in resistance?

My answer: I appreciate the desire to ask this question. However, I feel that to ask what part of the ego is in resistance ultimately does not matter. The question in itself come from the ego's trickiness. If you are asking this question, your attention is focused on trying to figure out the ego, and in so doing (the ego loves this!) your consciousness moves deeper towards the ego. Is it not enough to simply know it is ego, a sense of "me" that is living in disconnected defensiveness? Is that not enough to let it go? When we focus on trying to find what part of the ego is in resistance, it can be a trick, because we are focusing on the ego, the temporal, the divided, rather than focusing on the divine, the eternal, the universal.

When you find yourself focusing on trying to figure out what part of the ego is in resistance, simply pause. Be still within and embrace this moment as it is. Allow yourself to see that you are face to face with your ego. Do not try to push it away. Do not run from it. Just stay right there, with it in stillness. Breathe. Breathe more. Allow yourself to be. My sense is, in that stillness, when you shift your focus from from trying to pin or attack or conquer the ego, to a space that embraces the ego, you will find insight and possibility begin to flow. There will be awakened spaciousness. You will see, from a place of witnessing, what lies behind the jealousy and hurt. If you gently rest your focus on the space around the ego, you will allow the voice of your soul to speak. Give yourself room to feel the space around the ego. In that space is the flow of self love. That way you are present for the ego without getting entangled in it.

You may find the blog I wrote on jealousy very helpful: , especially the entry that looks at the notion of "It's happening TO me".

(Continued tomorrow with Faith and the Unfaithful)

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality, Part 5: Purification Back To The One

Dear friends,

A year ago today I visited a high school in Iqaluit before flying home to Toronto to conclude my life-changing North Pole journey.

 

North Pole Journey, Day Seven

The school bell rings and triggers a Pavlovian response in me. A feeling of excitement and freedom surges through my body. The halls fill with noisy, boisterous, vibrantly alive students who emerge from small rooms. Soon the auditorium is flooded with dynamic bodies full of the very hormones I felt pulsating through the halls when I first walked in. I peek out of my dressing room door and see a room agitated and full of energy...

 

CREATING YOUR REALITY, PART 5: PURIFICATION BACK TO THE ONE

(Continued from Welcome to Life School)

We must learn to purify our thoughts, lessen our attachment to our ego in order to evolve. Seeing life as a mirror provides a wonderful humbling opportunity to do just that. When we understand that what we experience is a result of our thoughts and perceptions, we can grow and make changes, so that our life becomes more fulfilling and joyful.

As our minds purify, eventually we become one with the Reality that we are love. Then, love is all we see. Once we have purified our minds, released our identification with our ego, the notion of life as a mirror dissolves. We see that we are literally one with all that is.

I say it over and over again: we are part of a much greater, intelligent whole. I think this is so important because most of us forget it. We get caught up in the micro-importance of what is happening right now, we lose the big picture of perfect interconnection. We get lost in defending our ego either by trying to prove our feeling worth by ‘got to get it right’, or by slathering on the “I am so great” or “I am so lowly” goop that we forget to keep our focus on Reality (and not on “reality”).

When we remember that we are part of a magnificent whole guiding us, we start to lessen our identification with the perceived importance of “me” and start of flow with pure consciousness. We let go of our defensive attachment to “reality” and start serving and merging with “Reality”.

When we have come to this place of ultimate non-attachment, a place I can speak of only from glimpses in exceptional moments, we realize that we are one with everything. We see that the notion of separation was an illusion all along. We fully understand that we are not creating anything at all. All already is! If anything, we have been resisting the perfection of creation. We have been learning to get out of the way the whole time and love. At that point, we reach yoga, a state of union, a place of absolute clarity where the mirror is no longer a separate reflection of our disconnected thoughts, but a perfect merging and a return to the One.

May each one of us remember our true nature and swiftly merge with “Reality” by humbly opening to and serving the “reality” that right before us.

In service,

Parvati

PS: Don’t forget that this is the last day to submit questions for this week’s Ask Parvati blog. If you have a question, please send it to ask@parvatidevi.com. Have a super weekend!

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality - Part 4: Welcome To Life School

Dear friends,

A year ago today was my last morning in Resolute Bay.

North Pole Journey, Day Six: Back to Iqaluit

We say our goodbyes to Chris at the inn, then Meghan at the airport who drives us to our departure. There is no doubt we are sad to leave. This has been an enormously important trip for each one of us, the likes of which seems still masked by a cloudy feeling that draws across my inner sight. I cannot quite see the magnitude of what this all means. All I know for sure is, like a child who marks their growth with lines on the inside of a doorjamb, the growth of my Self is marked on the doorjamb of my life by this trip to the North Pole....

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Creating Your Reality, Part 4: Welcome To Life School

(Continued from Life Is A Mirror)

Seeing life as a mirror to our thoughts makes life our perfect school, the best place ever to evolve. We then see life constantly supporting our evolution, no matter what happens. We may experience difficulty. No problem! That is life showing us the way we have limiting beliefs, the way we need to grow, things we need to release, etc… If we are true spiritual seekers, this is great news! We now have a moment-to-moment teacher and road map to our evolution: this moment. This moment IS indeed perfection! We have exactly what we need in each moment to evolve, to learn to love and to grow.

It is my belief that we are here on this planet, like diamonds in the rough, going through a rock tumbler called life. Sometimes life moves smoothly, sometimes life feels rough. If we are open, ready and willing, we will have the humility to see that this moment is showing us the summation of who we are up until this moment. We may like it. We may not. Either way, it does not really matter. By welcoming this moment as a gift that reflects our selves, we are able to see the limitations of our beliefs, thoughts and ego and eventually move beyond them so we may merge into the universal field that ties us all together.

Contrary perhaps to some contemporary pop spirituality, I don’t believe that a life of riches, or a life that runs super smoothly, or a life full of worldly recognition, or a life with the success of lavish projects, shows any particular kind of noteworthy evolution or spiritual prowess. I know many wealthy, respected and “accomplished” people who are, simply put, lost. They may think they are doing great, because, look! Look at what reality “they” have created! Wow, aren’t “they” great! And yet to me, they may be further from pure consciousness than perhaps before these apparent “successes”, and further from freedom, joy and enlightenment than the simple janitor that sweeps their floors at night. The ego is indeed a very tricky thing!

I also know people who think they are so spiritual because they have acquired spiritual skills or may know lofty spiritual people. They may even feel quietly proud that “they” have touched these great spiritual heights. Look at what “they” have accomplished and created! But to me, they are missing the spiritual forest for the trees.

It seems to me that the goal of spirituality is to love, to cultivate humility, to serve. If we are lacking these qualities in our life, no amount of philosophy, spiritual or material accolades will quell the inner sense of lack from being off path. We may feel temporarily pleased with what “we” have created, but eventually our ivory tower will crumble. That which we feel “we” do is bound by “reality” and not in service to “Reality”.

If “we” strive to create “reality” (lower case “r”), eventually, we will suffer. It is only when we realize that “we” are not the doers, when we focus on the release of the ego and learn to humbly see ourselves, our shadow and our glory, with honesty and humility, will we begin to “create the reality” that will bring lasting joy.

(Continues tomorrow with Purification Back To The One)

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality - Part 3: Life Is A Mirror

Dear friends,

This week's blog topic continues below, after I take a moment to pause and reflect on my North Pole journey.

A year ago today we were in Resolute Bay, having returned from the North Pole, and we joined with Satish Sikha to unveil his green eco-silk on an iceberg.

North Pole Journey: Day Five

Satish pulls open his fabric from his jute carrying case. Sunanda, Sam and I take a portion to help him draw it open. Rishi runs his video camera up and down its length, capturing its green colour and message fluttering in the wind. Satish seems happy, despite shivering in the freezing cold. He has traveled so far for this moment. On this iceberg, in the middle of the Arctic Ocean, he exposes the hand-penned words of dignitaries from around the world as a call to ecological action in light of the melting polar ice. I am proud to hold the portion of the eco-silk fabric that I happened to sign...

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Creating Your Reality: Part 3 - Life Is A Mirror

(Continued from Reality (Capital “R”) and Reality (Lower Case “r”) )

When we think of ourselves as important and in control, we inevitably suffer. We become attached to matter (objects, people, places, things), feeling we have power over them. But they are temporal; so they will, by their very nature, change. When they change, again, we need to try to gain control over them. On an ego-driven merry-go-round, we eventually experience pain.

Great mystics and sacred texts by enlightened masters tell us that we are not the ones doing, but at best, we are servants reflecting and one with the divine. We think that we are the temporal things such as this body, this personality, these thoughts, these perceptions, but all those go when our time has come. That is reality with the small “r”. But there is an energy within that continues on even after the things bound by time are long turned to dust. That is reality with the capital “R”.

So then, you may ask, what do we do with the temporal, our passing moods, the things that come into our lives that we like, that we don’t like, our emotions, painful and joyful situation? Are they just not real and not important? What are they and why are they in our lives at all?

It is my belief that literally all of life provides us with an opportunity to grow – the good, the bad and the ugly. All of it. There is not one thing in our life that does not serve our evolution in some way.

Life is like a mirror. The more we see it as such, the happier, freer and more loving we will be. The mirror reflects all of our thoughts back to us. We see and experience life through the lens of our mind, which is the accumulation of past memories and future desires. So we see, through the events and experiences of our life, a reflection of what we think, hope, fear, want, dream and remember.

This mirror is our greatest spiritual tool and ally. It provides us with an inescapable and perfectly clear way to see our thoughts and tendencies. You may ask, why would we want to see our thoughts? The simple answer is, so we may purify them.

No one of us is perfect. We all see through the lens of our ego, until we no longer give it power, until it no longer is in charge. Before we become enlightened, we see what we want to see, we believe what we want to believe, we love what we think will make us happy, and we want what we feel we lack. This is the human condition. To add a whole lot of flavour to the mix, each one of us has our own unique colours, shapes and sizes of those wants, beliefs and desires, expressed in our own unique way.

So if you want to know how you “create your reality”, well, you don’t have to look far. Look at what is in your life right now, and you will see an exact reflection of your thoughts and tendencies. If you don’t like it, then you need to be a humble student, face your ego and go within to learn to manage your consciousness more efficiently. Welcome to life school.

(Continues tomorrow with Welcome To Life School)

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality - Part 2: Reality (Capital “R”) and reality (Lower Case “r”)

Dear friends,

Before we start today's blog post, I would like to take a moment to remember that a year ago today, I landed at the top of the world. There, I performed and shot video for four of my songs. Then I spent a couple of hours in deep prayer and meditation, really tuning in to all beings and the planet. Thank you so much, again, for your support.

Parvati

North Pole Retrospective: Day Four

Day Four, Part One: Up, Up And Away!

Somehow, I like this plane. Perhaps the purpose of the journey itself inspires me and makes all things uncomfortable seem meaningless. Neither the prevalent smell of gasoline nor the uncomfortable, collapsible seats made of woven, synthetic fabric hung over metal rods is a bother. I have ridden for hours in a tropical jeep crammed with more than twenty sweaty people as we bump over dirt roads. I have slept on concrete rooftops, park benches, on the soil of dense forests and on the sand in open, raging beaches with few necessities. As the adventurer and one ready to serve the highest good in all, I feel ready for anything...

Day Four, Part Two: Eureka, Angels, Natamba

As we land, Mark, already on the ground, opens our cabin door to help us deplane as it is a five-foot descent down slippery stairs. To his surprise, he looks up and sees Natamba in full costume emerging from the dark out of the cabin door hole. Amazed, he takes a few steps back and says: “Wow! THAT is cool!”...

Day Four, Part Three: At The North Pole

We are here for two reasons: for me to perform my songs at the top of the world and to do healing work for the planet Earth. Both of these are to help raise awareness of the speed with which the ice now beneath our feet is melting. In just a few years, we will be among the few who were able to stand here....

Day Four, Part Four: Frozen Music Video Shoot

My face is now tight and numb, and icicles are forming on the strands of hair that escape from my hood. It does not even occur to me that it may be hard to sing in this dry, freezing weather. I start to sing. Rishi shoots. All is going well until about one minute into the song...

Day Four, Part Five: Healing The Earth At The Top Of The World

In monk-like quiet, Sunanda pulls out from beneath her Arctic wear a book that she, Rishi and I very much respect. It contains the Lalita Sahasranama, Sanskrit prayers to the Divine Mother. We have traveled over 3000 miles (5000 kilometres) to chant these ancient prayers and make this offering to the Earth at the top of the world. The Earth is our Mother. She provides us with life and sustains us. But now, due to human ignorance, she is in distress. May our offerings serve in some way to alleviate suffering for all...

 

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CREATING YOUR REALITY: PART 2: REALITY (CAPITAL “R”) AND REALITY (LOWER CASE “R”)

(Continued from What Does It Mean, “We Create Our Reality”?)

I have shared in past blog entries that our personalities tend to be the summation of our perceptions, which are the outcome of our experiences. These are processed through our senses and filtered through our mind. They are not absolute truths but subjective experiences.

Beyond these perceptions, there is a substratum that lies beneath the temporal quality of life. This exists beyond our likes and dislikes, beyond things that are born and things that die. In the eternal, we find pure consciousness that weaves through all the temporal things of life.

When we speak of reality, I feel we need to define what we mean. When we say, “That is real for me,” we speak of our senses, our experiences, and our thoughts. This reality is subjective and changes for each individual. When we speak of ultimate truth, we speak of a reality that is timeless and permanent.

I find it useful to refer to “reality” (with a lower case “r”) as the summation of our experiences. “Reality” (with a capital “R”) refers to the field of pure consciousness. They are very different yet beautifully interrelated and interconnected.

Where perhaps some of the explanations I have heard for “we create our reality” fall short for me is in the implication and encouragement of the notion that “we” are the doers. With the desire perhaps to help people feel peppy and in charge, the emphasis becomes on the idea that “we” create our reality. That just does not feel right for me and does not express my personal experience with manifesting.
In terms of manifesting, I have seen that our joys come to us when we are feeling full and grateful, not when we are feeling lack, separation and wanting. From the perspective of Reality (with a capital “R”), I have seen how “we” really are not doing anything.

There is an immense, vast, intelligent flow to which we as our limited, temporal selves learn to surrender and witness. We learn to show up and be present. Ultimately, the best thing we can do is get out of the way of that immensity. That way our reality with a lower case “r” is in service to Reality with a capital “R”. We are in service to the divine, creative flow. It is only then that we live rooted, vital and expansive in I AM consciousness.

There is a subtle yet very tricky shadow at play with the idea that “we” are the doers, that “we” create anything, because it implies “we” are in control. The ego loves that! “I am in control! Me! Great old me!” Uh oh! Me? What is that? Is it not just a passing series of thoughts, like a cloud over the sun? Are we not ultimately the sun, the universal light that shines eternal truths?

Yes, “we” do have some control, in terms of our free will. But ultimately, “we” have very little control. Our power lies in our ability to make wise and conscious choices about how to deal with our selves and where we place our awareness. From my understanding, how we choose to manage our consciousness is at the root of the idea that we create our reality. If we have the power to focus, to place and direct our awareness, then where are we focusing? Are we focusing on “reality” or “Reality”?

(Continued tomorrow with Life Is A Mirror)

 

 

 

 

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Your Reality

Dear friends,

Thank you for this week’s emails, Facebook posts and tweets regarding my one-year anniversary of being at the North Pole. I really appreciate your support. To honour the work that was done on that trip, I am currently working on my first music video, using footage from the North Pole, and a short documentary of the trip to share with you all. So please stay tuned for the completion and release of those exciting projects.
This week I also received quite a few Ask Parvati questions. Thank you for those as well! As usual, the one I here answer was chosen lottery style. Enjoy!

The Ask Parvati for this week will begin after today's recollection of my North Pole journey. A year ago today, it was my second day in Resolute.

Day Three, Part One

I wake up to my second morning in Resolute Bay. It is the day before I leave for the North Pole. I feel inwardly warmed by the memory of meeting the Inuit healers Lisa and Louisa last night. What grace to have such palpable, human confirmation that a subtle thread of healing interconnects us all. How else could these women have known before meeting me that I was coming to the North Pole to do healing work for the Earth? It seems the same energy that sparks their inner healing journey also inspires mine. I feel carried by an invisible force, which affirms the rightness of my decision to follow the intuitive guidance, put my musical tour on hold and come to this icy land...

Day Three, Part Two

The light in the sky is dull. It is just early afternoon. In just a month or so it will be dark all day long. This is the way it is in the high Arctic during the early winter months, when winter is always dark and summer is constant light. Today, before the solar orb sinks behind the hills of shale, we hope to see a couple of local sites and review our gear for the final leg of our trip to the North Pole tomorrow morning.

Meghan kindly is driving us along the Arctic Ocean coast towards a local historic site in Resolute Bay to see remains of a thousand-year-old Inuit village....

 

Day Three, Part Three

Sunanda returns from the airport with a look of shock and horror carved in her frozen face. The wig and the boombox were not on the flight. That was the last flight arriving in Resolute Bay before we leave tomorrow morning. Despite all her efforts to ensure the luggage arrived on time, we are left in an awkward situation. So much work, money and effort has gone into this performance at the top of the world. And now, essential pieces for the show are missing.
I waste no time thinking about what is lost and fly into action. We left Toronto with a back-up audio system, so Rishi and I quickly discuss the plan to use an alternative music sources for the performance. But the wig… that is essential and irreplaceable. What to do?...

Ask Parvati 30: Creating Our Reality

Dear Parvati,

The notion of "Creating our own Reality" is very popular these days. Even though I understand it on some level, I think that people sometimes oversimplify it. Can you please explain what "reality" is and what it means to you and how reality is actually created?

PART 1: WHAT DOES IT MEAN, “WE CREATE OUR REALITY”?

Thank you for this question. I agree that the notion of ‘creating our reality’ is very popular with metaphysical teachers these days. I am not particularly involved with these various teachings. Not that I think they are ‘bad’. I don’t really have much of an opinion. It is just that most of them have not really resonated for me so I have not been drawn to explore them in any depth.

I prefer instead to explore my reactions and responses to my own experiences and touch universal truths through the dissolving of the ego. For guidance on my path, I rely on the teachings of saints and realized masters. I also check in with myself as often as possible to see if I feel rooted, vital and expansive in each moment. From what I have seen and heard, I believe that many of the pop metaphysical teachings, such as “you create your reality”, seem far oversimplified.

The notion of “you create your reality” is actually quite subtle, of course powerful, and also complex. It is not for everyone, but for those who truly wish to cultivate deep humility and experience the death of the ego, rather than fuel the ego’s need to feel right, validated, superior, or in control.

I am very much in process with finding out what ‘creating your reality’ really means. Each day I make it a practice to explore the relationship between my thoughts and what I see manifest. I am still very much finding out, evolving and learning.

What interests me most is the gap between thoughts and what we experience to be real. We all have a different sense of reality. Yet there are also universal truths that join us.

In this week's blog entries, I will share what I have found so far in terms of “we create our reality”, with the understanding that I have not yet reached “the goal” of enlightenment. As such, these words are by no means an expression of absolutes, but a humble offering that may serve, based on my experiences.

(Continues tomorrow with Reality (Capital “R”) and reality (Lower Case “r”)