Ask Parvati 38: Finding Centre in the Busy Day - Part 2: Where Do I Hold Tension? What Do I Feel?

Whether we admit it or not, we are all sensitive, organic creatures that live in a fast-paced world. We can easily feel broadsided by noises and accosted by the speed by which our society moves.  

I recently realized that the tension in my face increases when I drive. I love driving and never realized it actually stresses me out a bit - until one day, when I was a passenger with an excellent driver. In the quiet of my seat, I noticed that I was getting tense. I had just come from an osteopathic session that left me feeling particularly present and open. I saw how the speed of the drive felt overwhelming for me at that time. I noticed how my visual focus was slightly blurred and the muscles around my eyes and jaw were becoming tense. When I tuned in, I found that I wanted the car to slow down. I was feeling afraid, having a hard time processing all that was passing by at such speed. I wanted to get out and walk, touch the ground, be at a different, more natural rhythm. 

We unavoidably are part of the this fast-paced world that tends to ramp up the speed at this time of year as we move into holiday time. But it does not need to be a time that we lose our focus on the flow of pure consciousness or that we lose our meditation practice. The speed of life offers us many opportunities to go inward and find out what we are really feeling. 

Instead of seeing life as adverse, the flow of things too fast, use this day as an opportunity to notice what you feel. First start with noticing how you physically feel in situations. Where do you hold tension? What is that tension saying? Can you honour that voice, spoken through your body, and live in greater balance?  

Perhaps that voice is asking you to get out of the shopping mall and take a few breathes of fresh air. Perhaps it says that you need to plow through a crowd. Perhaps it offers you inner wisdom to skip a party and take a bath instead. Whatever you need, tune into it. Allow your body to be your best friend, a barometer for how you are feeling and responding to any given situation.  

Today, ask yourself: "Where do I hold tension?" Watch what arises and practice making friends with your body. Listen to the wisdom and respect what you hear. 

Then go a little deeper. At any time through out this day, ask yourself the following: "What am I feeling?"

Go inside, and be honest with yourself. Allow yourself to receive yourself. Because our ego is very externally driven, these kind of internally sensitive questions help us to tap into a bigger picture beyond our ego. Ask yourself this question several times today and see what comes up. Tomorrow is another day, and I will offer other tips on finding your way to your inner home throughout the day. 

More food for thought tomorrow.

Enjoy the gift of this day.

Parvati

Ask Parvati 23: The Voice - To Speak Or Be Silent? Part 1: Soul Confusion, Vocal Tension

THE VOICE: TO SPEAK OR BE SILENT?

Dear Parvati,

I am having difficulty knowing when to speak up or remain silent about what I feel. I experience this confusion with things that make me feel uncomfortable and with things that I like. I thought that perhaps you, as a singer, may have some insight about the voice and how to know when it is a good time to use it, or when it is best to keep quiet. Thanks.

PART 1: SOUL CONFUSION, VOCAL TENSION

"That" person is coming into the room! Your heart suddenly races. You feel pressure in your head. Your cheeks flush. Your mouth dries and your throat automatically tightens. You feel panicky, sweaty, weak-kneed. With your heart speeding, you feel short of breath. There is something you want to say. It is stuck, like a lump in your throat. You try to speak. Your mouth is wide open, but there is no sound. Suddenly, you wake up. This is just a nightmare.

Or is it? Some dreams reflect back to us aspects of ourselves that we dare not yet see. Many people dream of trying to speak only to find themselves feeling trapped and  unable to find the words or the means to express how they feel. Some people experience that kind of vocal constriction and hesitation more regularly, even when supposedly awake while moving through the day.

Finding our authentic voice can be challenging. Many of us were scolded when we were young and have lost touch with our natural impulses. Growing up, we perhaps heard phrases like “hold your tongue!” or “shut your mouth!” or “tighten your lip!” No wonder we develop vocal tension.

We perhaps were told to either be quiet when we were enjoying giving voice, or speak up when we were enjoying silence. Listening to conflicting signals, we end up unsure when to express or when to listen. If not careful, we end up out of touch with our internal compass and can feel trapped in indecision and fear of disapproval.

Whether or not you experience vocal confusion consciously, because of our cultural tendencies, most of us carry old-story tensions in our bodies. These tensions, incubated when we were children, we hold with us as adults until we pause to question their validity, place and source.

Withheld vocal expression and stress regarding speech and sound are commonly held in and around the mouth, lips, jaw, tongue, throat, chest, lungs, and shoulder area, though they can be held deeply in any place in the body and be the result of any emotional withholding, ranging from rage to bliss.

In order to unwind the tension, we must be willing to explore it. There is no better way to explore vocal tension than through the willingness to make sounds. When we were infants, our sounds were free and primal. As adults, we can become overly hung up on “nice”, “pretty”, “powerful”, “strong” and “correct”. A powerful way to release vocal tension is to be wiling to dive within to where we remember sound as being raw and real.

EXERCISE 1:

Find a quiet place where you can lie on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Begin to breathe naturally, deeply, but without forcing. Allow your body to relax and your awareness to move inward.

Gently massage your jaw muscles that run from the ear, to under the cheek bone to the jaw bone. Then begin to yawn, and sigh. Allow your whole throat to open up. Feel your neck expand. Feel your spine lengthen. Feel your muscles release, not just in your face, head and neck, but through your whole body/being. Keep yawning and sighing.

Now stand. Do the same exercise standing. Allow yourself to relax, yawn and sigh.Then shake out your feet, shoulders, arms, hands. Rub your hands over your face.

Open and close your mouth so that you give the muscles of your face a good stretch. Then take a deep breath and exhale so that you sputter your lips, like you were playing the trumpet, or like you were making a motorboat sound with your mouth. Let your lips relax and your tongue soften.

Stick out your tongue and roar like a lion. Open your mouth wide and exhale. Let it out. Do this a few times until you have had enough. Shake it out and let it go.

(Continued tomorrow with Part 2: Sounding It Raw and Real)