Ask Parvati Finale: The Miracle of Nature's Healing - Part 5: Everything Must Die To Be Reborn

(Continued from “My Own Tsunami”)

 

What followed was a rearranging of everything I knew. On one level, I call the injury “karma fast forward”, where I was challenged to let go of that which no longer served and had to learn to absolutely trust a higher power for everything. When you realize that you may never walk again, may never even do the simplest things that we take for granted, your ego crashes and dies while something else is born. For me, what was being born was whatever that whale wanted me to become. It was all about the whale.

 

For those few months that I was immobilized in bed, I felt like the whale was taking over. I saw a blue light almost constantly, like a sphere that hovered over things, around things and within my inner eye as I closed my eyelids. I was being held by a blue bubble of light.

 

When I first realized I could not move my legs, I inwardly dove down, with my inner eye, to the root of my spine, and took a look there. I knew that whatever was preventing me from walking was at the base of my spine. My spine somehow had broken.

 

What I saw at my root was a whale, almost dead, with a heart rate I could only describe as nearly flatlining. My relationship with the whale, and its rhythm, guided my healing and all the work with the biodynamic osteopath who cared for me with unsurpassed skill and attention. All I knew is that to fully heal, whatever that meant, I needed to completely surrender to the intelligence within that whale and let it consume me.

 

As my healing progressed, I felt like that blue light, and the body of that whale, was moving up my legs towards my head. As the blue light progressed upward, I was able to wiggle my toes, then my ankles, then my legs. After a couple of months, as the light fully consumed me, I was able to roll slowly over onto my side, then my stomach. This took weeks of intensive meditative surrender and absolute trust in the higher consciousness beyond my ego. I knew nothing of what was happening, yet I knew exactly what was happening. I felt a oneness with something so much greater than “me”.  All I knew was THAT was all I needed to know. I might never walk again, but whatever was happening was totally OK.

 

With immense faith in pure consciousness and the power of that consciousness to heal, I let go. I was being challenged to surrender with absolute trust to the force of life that unconditionally loves and supports my highest good.

 

Through my healing, I also actively worked with a system called MAP: Medical Assistance Program, created by Machaelle Small Wright. It instructs us how to co-create with Nature Spirits, the Devic Realm and a group from the Cosmic Intelligence to assist and amplify our healing progress. I had been working with my MAP group for years. Now that working relationship was being taken to a whole new level.

 

As I connected to these unseen energies, I could feel that I was tapping into the very fabric of life, the vibrant intelligence that co-creates to manifest form, that weaves together the seen and unseen. I could feel Nature’s overwhelming sense of receptivity to my willingness to participate in the dance of life. It is staggering that we have at our disposal a resource of such power, all the while, Nature compassionately and patiently waits for our simple willingness to open and go there.

 

Through this process of healing, my body began to express itself as an infant’s would. An inner impulse to roll onto my tummy from my back came spontaneously from within. If ever I “tried” to move in any way, I was subjected to the most mind-altering electric shock treatment you could imagine – one I describe to my friends as “if you slowly cut off my arm, it would be less painful.”

 

The impulse then followed, once on my tummy, to gently press up on my arms and look around. Eventually I was able to press up onto all fours from my tummy. Then it was crawl, then reach up, then stand up, then walk. It was a rebirth. By June 1, 2011, I stood on my feet again for the first time.

 

In the months that followed through the summer of 2011, I had to learn to put one foot in front of the other, in a whole new way. The whale had guided me through a shamanic journey. I went from feeling at first inundated in a cosmic soup, like an ocean of consciousness, when the injury first struck. As the weeks progressed, somehow consciousness was taking a crystalline shape, like salt in the sea. I was part of those crystals. Then I became like a sea creature, like the whale in a fluid oneness with that oceanic purity. Then I became a land creature, like a lion, as I crawled around the floor as a baby would. As I grabbed onto things to pull myself up into standing, I was like a monkey. Then a new human body was born. None of this was anything I could figure out. It was a force so much greater than me. It was growing inside me, like life itself, enveloping me, consuming me, transforming my very cells. I did not understand how it was working. But it was working and that is all that mattered. And there was no bargaining with its omniscient power.

 

By the end of July, I was almost well enough to go see my spiritual teacher Amma, who was visiting from India. Not yet physically able to sit, I was able to lie in the back seat of a car, and then barely walk up to see Her. As She greeted me, I looked into Her eyes and bawled. I could not control my legs or spine. My body was a marionette controlled by a force other then my will. I saw there in the most visceral way that I am literally not the doer. This body is a beautiful and perfect vehicle for Divine Will. My job is to get out of the way and witness. Through my tears, I asked if I ever would dance and perform again. She said yes, "after some time".

 

By the end of October, 2011, I was headlining a festival in Florida, back on stage singing, dancing, in rapturous surrender. It WAS a miracle. And the cherry on top of the miracle, if there can be such a thing, was that the concert I gave was a benefit concert for Amma’s Embracing The World charity. Perfection of perfections.

 

(Continued tomorrow with “Nature’s Perfect Love”)

Ask Parvati Finale: The Miracle of Nature's Healing - Part 3: Prayers Are Always Answered (Just Not The Way We May Think)

(Continued from “Following The Call to Nature Co-Creation”)

 

When I was at the top of the world, I did some shamanic healing work on the planet, while the sacred Hindu 1000 names of the Goddess were being chanted – all as a gratitude offering for the benefic bounty of our Mother Earth. Then I quietly prayed with all my heart and said to the planet herself something like, “Mother, I know you are suffering. If there is any way I can help, if I can help alleviate your burden in some way, let me know.” And that was that.

 

A shamanic ritual can be likened to a portal being opened, a window into larger sight that provides an ability to see beyond the lens of our habitual self. And seeing something larger is what I did.

 

In the months that followed the ritual, I had a very intense time trying to integrate the immensity of suffering I saw in our world: the way we resist the exquisite joy of being here; the way we hold onto pain and make it “mine”; the way millions all over the world suffer from not having very basic needs met; the way those with so much squander their gifts and take for granted the bounty. I cried for weeks, not because I was particularly “sad”. I was in shock from what I saw and felt, and I was grieving. My heart was breaking open to a whole new reality.

 

A couple of months after I returned from the Arctic, that phase of grief started to subside. I felt more integrated so I thought that my life was going to return to normal and I could resume the musical tour I had put aside for the North Pole journey. But the emotional shift I was experiencing was just the tip of a huge iceberg I had hit up against. The crack in my heart and soul and the fissure that was bringing in new information into my consciousness was just beginning to open. The whale had not completed its teachings and my prayers to help alleviate the planet’s suffering were still floating in the ethers. What happened next I would never have imagined possible.

 

(Continued tomorrow with “My Own Personal Tsunami”)

Ask Parvati Finale: The Miracle of Nature's Healing - Part 2: Following The Call to Nature Co-Creation

(Continued from “The Secret”)

If you have been following my blog entries, you will know that I have always had a natural, strong connection to the planet Earth, to Nature as a whole and to unseen energies that are always with us – the spiritual forces that have a lot more to do with our day to day living than most people care to realize. I am by far not alone in being sensitive to such. Many people are, and are acutely aware that our planet, a living organism, is going through a healing, a shedding, a purification that is affecting us all, because we are also literally part of the planet.

During the summer of 2010, I felt I had to do more to help raise awareness of our planetary interconnection, our need for conscious awakening and our ecological responsibility. So by the fall, I was on my way to the North Pole to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice. I do not feel I so much wanted to go, as I was inwardly called to go. A voice within spoke so clearly. This is what I was meant to do. Some inner voices come from the voice of our soul, while others from spiritual guides that help mark our way. Perhaps, at some level, there is no need to distinguish between the two. Except here, I could say that I felt neither. I felt the call from the planet herself.

Without knowing, without desire and without seeking, I now understand and can admit to myself that I have walked, as a contemporary woman, the classical path of the traditional shaman, who through his own inner healing, awakens to a much larger picture of our human experience and our place within the cosmos. It is a path that rests in a co-creative relationship with a powerful force that creates all we see in Nature, of which we are an integral part. Through this journey, one that I never consciously sought, I have been guided both in the seen realm by synchronous meetings and guides appearing in many forms, and by teachings appearing in my dream space and through the unseen. Animals, dolphins and whales in particular, have also appeared, carrying teachings that I needed to learn.

A dream the night before I left for the North Pole adventure (not uncommon, but notable), was of a great blue whale below the ice at the top of the world. The whale knew I was coming. It also completely understood the message I was to carry and the work I would do there. Though I did not know it then, I could say now that it was that whale that guided my journey to the Arctic and my healing that would follow.

The Bering Strait Inuit myths say that the spirit and life force of the whale is that of a young woman. "Her home is the inside of the whale, her burning lamp its heart. As the young woman moves in and out of the house doorway, so the giant creature breathes." (History of Tattooing in the Arctic by Lars Krutak). That is how I felt: a whale inside my true nature was being born, giving voice and taking me over.

(Continued tomorrow with “Prayers Are Always Answered (Just Not The Way We May Think)”)

Ask Parvati 19: What Is Home? Part 3, Inner and Outer Home

 

WHAT IS HOME? PART 3: INNER AND OUTER HOME

(Continued from What Is Home? Part 2: Home In Meditation and Music)

 

 

If April is the cruelest month, then July is the most gracious. Out in my back garden, I look up to the canopy of leaves of a large maple tree that stands guardian at the back of my house. The sky that peeks through is cloudless and as blue and open as the sea. (Maybe this world is upside down and the ocean is really up there and the sky bordered with sand.)

 

The golden sunlight that shimmers through the fluttering leaves feels like the passing thoughts that trickle through my mind. The scent of the juniper bushes near my resting place is sweet, rich and moist. Water in the fountain splashes into the pond. The water flows like the continual, rhythmic flow of my breath. Birds and baby squirrels keep stopping by to check me out. We connect for a moment until they flutter off. Children’s voices, chirping birds, distant whizzing cars and my neighbour’s murmuring music create a symphony of sounds. This moment feels immense, vast and perfectly home.

 

When I was a child, I felt an inner restlessness. The voice within spoke of something more than what I saw brought others temporary happiness. I found joy in singing, through writing music and creating art. I felt alive in connecting with nature and communing with what I now simply call “the unseen”. I always had a sense that there was more than the material. I wanted to touch it, rest into it and be it – whatever that “it” was.

 

The church I went to called “it” God. To me “it” was everywhere, in the very fabric of life. I feel like it touched “it” and found in it a tremendous sense of home when I was recently in the Arctic traveling a few months ago to the North Pole. I went to sing at the top of the world to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice caps. There I also offered healing and prayers to the planet, our mother Earth, the vibrant living being that sustains us all, that is our home.

 

The feeling of singing at the top of the world remains impressed in me, like a tattoo on my soul. In the midst of the infinitely still desert of crystalline snow dusted over the icy ocean I stood upon, I felt as though the whole world was my home and an attentive audience, quietly listening. As I opened my arms, heart and throat to sing, I felt the world was in my body and I was the world. There was immense quiet, a profound presence and aliveness. The Inuit people I met en route seemed to embody that Arctic quiet wisdom. Being with them and traveling there ignited the spark of a baby Inuit in me. In the Arctic desert, I felt home.

 

I have been quite nomadic for most of my adult life - traveled a lot, seen the world, and enjoyed many varied cultures. As I have learned to “think turtle”, as my last blog discussed, I have learned how to find home wherever I may be, inspired by the turtle that carries its home on its back.

 

At first, home was literally my backpack in which I carried my necessities. But I have learned to put my pack down now and lessen the load I carry. Who is “doing” anyway? As my teacher says, when on a traveling train, why still hold onto your luggage? The train is my life, and I am carried by Life, supported by all that is. I let go.

 

We are in constant motion both metaphorically and literally as vibrant beings. I also move a lot as I travel to tour my music. Being so mobile, I learn to surrender to what is and to serve what is right in front of me. My sense of home now comes from my state of internal being. Not as attached to what is happening on the outside, I see life as receiving me. This moment, like a mother, is waiting at the family home door with open arms.

 

I have traveled outwardly through our colourful world. I have also traveled inwardly through my mind, heart and soul as I explore art and music, and as I develop through my spiritual practices. In some ways I could say that I have traveled both internal and external landscapes searching for a deeper meaning of home. Through loving, sharing, expressing and meditating, I have found a deeper, spiritual meaning of home, one that transcends geography and taps into the transpersonal and timeless, one that exists in the “vertical hour”.

 

(Continues tomorrow with What Is Home? Part 4: Home In The Vertical Hour)

 

Ask Parvati 11: Be A Mother To Yourself

Be A Mother To Yourself

Mother's Day, May 08, 2011

Dear Parvati,

Every year when Mother’s Day comes around, I feel conflicted. My own mother died ten years ago. She was emotionally distant and judgmental and no matter what I did, it never seemed to be enough for her to really love and accept me unconditionally. In addition, I have not yet become a mother myself. I feel sad about this, but I am also afraid that if I do have children, I might repeat the pattern of my childhood and pass on my wounds to them. How can I find a place of love and acceptance, and move on with my life?

WOUNDS: WE ALL HAVE THEM

Wounds. We all have them, whether we hurt because we lose the love we thought we had or we are hurt black and blue from a bad physical accident. When we were children, we instinctively called for our mother to help us up after we took a spill, or to soothe our aching hearts. Our mother was to come and wrap us up with that perfect embrace, whisper the perfect words that were to help us find our way back to wholeness. Or so we hoped.

Whether or not you feel you had the perfect childhood or one with more complexity, as we mature, we eventually come to realize that we must learn to love and nurture ourselves, the way our mothers would or could have done, so that we may experience total health and well being. Whether or not we learned the ability to love, care and soothe from our mother or from a mother-like figure in our lives, at some point we must awaken the universal mother within our own hearts. She will carry us through our entire life, long after our biological mother is gone.

TOUCH THE WOUND

No matter what age you may be or how much or how little inner work you may have done, a wounded inner child may remain untouched, hidden away, asking for love in some way. Despite our parents’ best effort, a common thread among many seems to be that some part of us, at some level, no matter how big or how small, visible or not, did not receive the love we needed as a child. That part of our psyche becomes frozen in time, "wanting mummy" or "wanting daddy" in some way, seeking the love it needed and still needs, until we thaw our inner walls and become still enough to listen to its call.

When the wounded child is in the driver’s seat of our lives, consciously or unconsciously we push that which is good for us away because we have lost the willingness to receive, believing fundamentally that the love we need does not exist. We create situations in our lives that prove our feelings of wounding. We may sabotage a great relationship, or sell out in our job or demean ourselves to make an opportunity happen because we deep down feel that love is not possible for us.

But there are no accidents. All that is happening is a reflection of our thoughts, beliefs and soul patterning from our previous births. Our wounds are not our parents’ responsibility any more than they are our boss's, our lover's or our environment's. We come to this life with a soul need to learn. We attract and create situations in our life that will best provide us the lessons, based on our perceptive abilities and beliefs.

All that is, at one level, no matter how ugly, painful and cruel, is within a field of balance and perfection that provides us with exactly what we need to evolve. Are we willing to truly see, open and learn? All healing happens when we are open, ready and willing to see ourselves as we are, and meet this moment as it is. Until that time, we continue to suffer.

LETTING GO OF THE VICTIM

When our wounded child is left untouched, uncared for by our own compassionate attention, we experience suffering. Because we have closed ourselves off to the possibility of the love we need, we tend to live in a defensive state. We can become overly attached to painful emotions as a means to feel angry at the world, sit by watching life go by, feeling hard done by. Feeling a victim to life is a common trap for those who feel they have not received the love they need and at some level have given up on the possibility that they will find what they need.

As with any wound, nature kicks in to protect that which is vulnerable until it is healed. When the wound is healed, the protective guarding comes off, new skin is revealed and growth continues. The process of letting go of our defensiveness, reactivity and victimization (which can run the full range of emotions from hopelessness to rage to grief) can be scary. Just as we need to show up at the doctor to remove a cast on a broken leg, we need to show up for ourselves to let our guard down. But first, we need to admit that we have a guard up at all, and that can be the toughest part for many when habits are deep, even addictive. There is subtle power we can feed on when we feel like a victim, which can be hard to release.

Used to making our way through life on a fraction of our true potential, we can be like invalids hobbling about on a broken leg, trying to convince ourselves that we are ok. We feed the wounds with temporary pacifiers like money, sex, drugs, entertainment and foods in an attempt to fill a void we don't want to see. Sometimes it takes our broken leg turning gangrenous for us to bring ourselves to understand that we are in need of healing. Finally, the wounded child has our full attention.

In order to heal, we must look within to get to know aspects of ourselves we have left behind. The wounded child gets locked away in the recesses of our being until we open that door. Perhaps a pressing force such as an accident or heartbreak brings us face to face with that door, but only a deeply gentle touch can turn the door handle for us to feel safe enough to walk in.

The depths of the wounds can seem immense, even infinite, as though the emotions we fear we may encounter would never cease. But if there is a constant in life, it is that life is ever changing. Nothing lasts forever, including those scary places within. All things pass. In that, we can take comfort as we move with care and gentleness towards our tender bits. These wounds likely came about from feeling judged, blamed, hurt and unloved in some way. So pushing at these places will only increase the wound.

THE UNIVERSAL MOTHER

It is only when we learn to let go, open and meet life as it is do we begin to learn to accept ourselves as we are - beautiful bits, warts and all. When we learn to rest in self-love, we reach the tender place within our own heart that cradles the wounded child within. When we touch that - oh so raw – place, we begin to touch a well of infinite love, more than we ever imagined. When we begin to rest in self-love, we begin to open to life -- and the very fabric of life is unconditional love. We tap into the perfect, unconditional motherly love that the planet gives us in each moment. She, as a living being, loves and sustains us. And she is loved unconditionally herself and exists within a larger mother, the creative force of the universe of which we all are a part. As we tap into self-love, we open to the love from the planet and the universe that is reflected in all beings.

Healing occurs when we align with the powerful yet profoundly compassionate force of nature, our deeper mother. And that mother exists in our heart and soul, whether you are a man or woman. It takes that unconditionally loving presence directed towards ourselves for us to ultimately feel the love, healing and freedom we need. Think of the wounded place within as a frightened doe in a wild forest. Would it not take sincere gentleness, true relaxation and deep love to approach this skittish animal? The wounded child within is as fragile and powerful as that doe.

As you move towards wholeness, I ask that you do so with tremendous gentleness, the kind of care, attention and affection that a mother would have for her infant. We are all children in the arms of the divine. If we can remember more often to give ourselves that self-kindness, that self-compassion, that self-love, our world would be a sweeter place and our lives will unfold with greater ease and less resistance.

We all fall. We all have wounds. Be the mother to yourself that gently picks you up, washes off the scraps on your knees, shares encouraging words and sends you on your way. She is always with you. She will never let you down. Invite her into your life today and give thanks for the abundance of love that is within and all around. We are, after all, so very blessed to be alive. That in itself is an expression of the universal mother’s love for you.

EXERCISES

1) Find a quiet place and give yourself permission to feel. Just as a loving mother would, ideally, fully accept all your joys and wounds without reserve, meet whatever arises in you, to the best of your ability, without judgment. Think of yourself welcoming your whole self with open arms. Take time to do this every day and notice how much more energy, freedom and joy naturally arises. Ask yourself the question, sincerely with an open heart directed towards yourself: "How do you feel? How come? What can I do to better love and support you?" Listen and receive the information with warmth and gratitude. Breathe it in. Yes.

2) Take a box of wax crayons and some paper (newsprint is fine) and find a quiet, uninterrupted place. Let yourself scribble, doodle, do whatever you want without judging. Have fun letting your inner child play. If you choose, and only if you choose, you may wish to put away the doodles to look at another day. If you do decide to look at the drawings, do so not from a vantage point of artistic merit, but with the non-judging perspective of a loving mother whose only job is to see things exactly as they are. Just notice what is there, the colours, the shapes, the mood, the expression. How do the images make you feel? What is being communicated in them? Quietly see if any thoughts, emotions or images come to mind. Breathe in and welcome any information that arises.

3) Get a blank piece of paper and pencil and find a quiet place to go within. Pick up the pencil in your non-dominant hand, that is, the one you do not usually use to write. Then ask your inner child if it has anything to say. Start to write without editing, even if the text is scribbly and hard to read. Allow that child to have a voice. See what comes up, without judging. Be willing to see it, as it is. Breathe deeply and embrace whatever arises, as a loving mother would. Welcome the voice of your inner child into your heart.

4) Find a quiet and relaxed place, either sitting on a chair or comfortably lying down. Inhale, breathe in so that you feel you receive all the love that already exists right now, everywhere. Feel yourself receiving love into your lungs, into your heart, into your body, into your being. Exhale, and let go into that love, feeling that you are letting go into a very present, physical embrace. So inhale love, nourishment, support. Exhale, and relax into the love.

Wishing you much love,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 10: The Power of Letting Go

THE POWER OF LETTING GO

May 1, 2011

Dear Parvati,

I am a bit type A, tending to take charge of situations. I feel good about how much I can get done even under pressure, but I find that afterwards I feel exhausted, headachey, stressed and grumpy. People suggest to me that I need to learn to let go, but I have a hard time relating to that. I think that if I let go, everything would fall apart and I wouldn’t know where to start again. Yet, for some reason, I keep hearing their words in my mind, to let go. How can I begin to let go of some of the stress and not freak out about not being in control?

LEARNING TO LET GO

Thank you for your question. It is spring and the force of nature is churning. As the trees sprout leaves and flowers burst into life, we can feel an impulse to get active in an attempt to shed physical and psychological winter weight from our lives. Whether you are a type A personality or not, we can overdo these times of seasonal transition and end up with colds, allergies and other physical symptoms, ways our bodies let us know that we had best slow down and learn to let go.

Because the mind tends to only know two ways of thinking, to move towards something we like or to move away something we don't, we try to push away things we no longer want. Trying to push or pull at life is like trying to move mountains. Sooner or later we end up exhausted and come to realize that there is a force in life that is much greater than our limited ego or will. Whether we end up flat on our backs with a broken heart, a massive cold, a lost job or just plain wrung out from too much effortful living, the wise words "let go" or "surrender" start to come to mind.

OPENING TO POSSIBILITIES

For most of us, the notion of surrendering can be quite bewildering, conjuring images of "throwing in the towel", giving in or even becoming roadkill to someone else's overpowering will. From the point of view of the ego, surrendering may seem like we are giving up and somehow taking a loss. But when we look deeper, we see that nothing could be further from the truth.

The ancient text called the Hatha Yoga Pradipika speaks of sukha-sthira, finding a balanced yogic state that is neither just relaxed nor just alert, but a union of the two. Artists, dancers, athletes and business people have expressed finding that balanced flow when they experience peak performances. In that flow, the individual has tapped into a much greater whole. There is no defensive holding on to the ego. One has surrendered to ride within a force that is much greater than the limited sense of self.

When we are stressed, our field of perception narrows. This is a remnant of our past need to run for our lives when chased by a lion in the jungle. This focus serves our need to survive. But when habitually used as a day-to-day stress response, the narrow sight means we often tend to miss a lot. By allowing ourselves to let go of the fear of the proverbial jungle lion (be it our boss, our partner, our parents or whatever we fear), our field of vision expands and we see more fully. In so doing, we tap into a greater field of possibility and flow within a greater whole. In this way, we have access to more options, more choice, more power. As we learn to let go, we may find that the phone call we had anxiously been waiting for suddenly happens or cash for an outstanding bill arrives at our door. We may see the broken step on the stairs and avoid a painful tumble. As we let go, we get out of our own way and learn to receive the support that inherently exists within nature. 

NATURAL SUPPORT

Let us look at nature. The chrysalis that transforms into a butterfly, does it doubt, angst and stress over the process it undergoes? Or is the cocooned creature in a surrendered state held perfectly within an intelligent whole? Really think about it. When the flower springs from the soil, is it thinking "gotta get it right" or "gotta work harder"? Or is it simply being, expressing a flow within the whole?

The same for the budding leaves on the tree branches, the thawing ice, the animals awakening. Can you imagine the hibernating bear coming out in a rush from its cave with the thought, "Man! I gotta hurry. I am going to be late again"? Yet how many of us wake up everyday, supposedly refreshed, already feeling stressed and having somehow failed? That is the baggage we carry. That is the story we place over our lives. That is not our fullest, most natural self, but what we have become habituated to be, usually as an expression of the ego to feel greater than or less than another as a distorted cry for love we perceive is not there. We tend to hold on to stress, fearing the jungle lion even when the lion exists only in our imagination. This fear exists because deep down we don't feel love or loved.

But is there no love? Do we need to rely on that story of rush, push and pull to make us feel better? Ultimately, does not our push/pull make us suffer? Remember the chrysalis perfectly cocooned. Would nature take such perfect care of that caterpillar and abandon us? Or have we somehow, somewhere along our life path let go of our connection to nature instead? We believe our own distorted perceptions and go running because a coiled rope looks like a cobra to our dulled eyes. Nature is not doing that "to" us. We do that to ourselves. We place the disconnected story on each perfect moment. Ah! Beautiful butterfly that it does not have the busy mind we do, that surrenders to its magnificent transformation and flies free!

For nature, life just is. Resting into this "isness" is surrender. Surrender is gentle, quiet, powerful, active, alive, vital...because it relies on a state of feeling connected, interconnected, a part of it all. We are constantly held within the whole, cradled in a perfect life-force cocoon, completely loved, fully supported and totally cared for. Our minds may be attached to distortions that tell us otherwise, but that does not change the fact that the loving support is here, if we are willing to let go and receive.

FLOW WITHIN THE WHOLE

Part of our human journey is the return to that One state, that flow, that sense of being rooted, vital and expansive within an intelligent whole. We tend to see ourselves as separate, either by expressing wanting through “craving this” or “repulsed by that”, or by altogether feeling fundamentally disconnected and alienated from all that is. It seems these extremes are deeply buried in our psyche, part of the human condition. As we move through life, we learn to meet the moment as an opportunity to purify our perceptions and eventually transcend the trickiness of our ego so that we may rest in the fullness of who we are. And who are we anyway, if not ultimately one with all that is, a playful expression of the Divine?

Next time you feel the impulse to rush to your next meeting, or feel that feisty urge that wants to make you right and others wrong, or you want to push through to the next to-do item on your agenda without really meeting the task at hand, remember that tiny cocoon and know that you are one and the same. In every moment, you are cradled by an immense love that fully supports you through whatever life process you are experiencing. That love is always available, 24/7, unconditionally. It is our human birthright.

If we could be a bit more like the trees, rivers, butterflies and flowers, we might find ourselves a lot healthier, happier and wise. And what better time to feel inspired to surrender to and be part of such immensity than during the bursting power of life now upon us this spring. Do yourself a favor and go say hello to the budding trees. Notice how they do not struggle to be, but are in a rapturous state of deep surrender. Rooted in the rich Earth, trunks strong, growing up to meet the sky, the tree's leaves dance in the flowing wind. Watch carefully. That tree is flowing within the whole, just as you. Through nature we can see our true nature and learn the power of letting go.

     

North Pole Journey: Epilogue

A week after my return: Friday, October 7, 2010



COMING TO OUR SENSES



It has been about a week since I have been back from the North Pole. Though I’ve slept well these past days, I feel very tired and strangely, I think I feel something like culture shock. My heart is heavy having seen even more clearly and palpably the effect of human ignorance. Yet there is new life being born in me beneath the undeniable process of grieving I am experiencing. Perhaps that baby Inuit I felt wiggling in my soul while in the Arctic is shape-shifting into a wiser, more compassionate self. Though my eyes these days are continual fountains that do not run dry, my chest feels like a chrysalis bursting into freedom. The force moving through me feels like the power of Life itself. As I evolve, I am charged with an even stronger pull to wake up and inspire positive growth for all.



I know that when my heart breaks, I have a choice. It can either break to close down or it can break open. I feel my heart is breaking open after seeing a much bigger picture of the ecological crisis than I previously knew existed. This week doing the media circuit, people seem interested in the problem, but also bound by the perception of helplessness and disconnect. I know my tears are my own, yet I feel acutely aware of the pain of the planet. This may sound grandiose, but it is true: the pain I feel feels like the pain of the world. There I was at the North Pole, praying to be a vehicle for transformative healing for the living Earth and for all beings, offering myself completely to Her. I understand that the spiritual purge I am going through now is the result of the prayers I did from the bottom of my heart at the top of the world asking that our world may be free from all interference. I am part of the world, literally. Resistance to life in the form of fear, judgment, anger, shame…all those painful emotions that disconnect me from my truest beauty, adds weight to my health and well being and also to that of the Earth.



We use this expression commonly: to feel the pain of the world. But when we say that, we mean the pain of the people on the Earth, but not the pain of the planet itself. Yet, the people who live on it are also made of it. I understand now within my very cells that there is no pain in the world that Nature itself does not feel. We speak about being one people, interconnected. Yet we are also intricately connected and interdependent with the living earth as a conscious being.



I knew before going that the planet is in trouble. What I saw at the North Pole makes me even more aware of how big the problem is. Unanimously, elders, healers, politicians, hunters, pilots, environmental activists, scientists shared the same message: the ice is melting very quickly, the animals are dying and people must stop polluting. The winds carry our pollution to the Arctic. People there are experiencing what we will see soon. This is serious and we must take action now.



What my heart is teaching me is that the environmental crisis is a gift to learn to connect more deeply. It is like the call from the planet, our mother, teaching us, yet again (as a mother would), how we must grow up and become wiser and more compassionate beings. She shows us that we are all connected because when we act in a disconnected manner, life dies and so do we. What I do affects you. What you do affects me. What we all do affects the planet. We are not isolated islands but one Earth family.



Through this process of potential awakening, I see that there are two levels of change we are being called to implement. One is external and one is internal. They inform each other. Externally, we must reduce CO2 emissions. This is not new. We have known that for some time now. But it is more urgent than ever. There is a saying that what we resist persists. Similarly what we avoid gets bigger until we must give it due attention. It is like life drops a tiny feather on our shoulder to remind us to wake up, then a pebble, then a stone. Finally a huge grand piano comes crashing down on our head to help us wake up. I see the natural disasters like the ice caps melting, the Tsunamis, what happened in Haiti and Pakistan as the grand piano. We can be easily complacent in Canada and other developed countries because we have not yet personally experienced these horrors where we live. It is happening “over there”. It may well take people turning on their taps and seeing purple water before everyone understands that there is a global ecological crisis and we must change. I do hope not.



Yes, we must plant trees, turn off lights and electrical devices when not in use, conserve water and take shorter showers; look for alternative transportation to cars, such as car pooling or taking the public transport. Beyond these external things, I believe we are spiritually called to awaken to realize we are part of a much bigger whole. When we begin to see that each decision we make, we don’t make for ourselves alone but that we affect everyone on the planet, we naturally begin to act with more compassion. When we have more compassion, turning off the lights when not in use, or riding a bike becomes more natural. We realize the full impact of our actions.



The realization of our interconnection inspires personal responsibility and transformation. That in turn creates global change. We must realize that we are connected and what one person does affects everyone and the planet. We all breathe the same air and live on the same living organism. Varied in race and creed, we are one Earth family, children of the same mother, our planet. On this Earth, there are wonderfully rich cultures, races, creeds that are like a beautiful tapestry window dressing. Let’s look through the window and welcome the light of possibility, of interconnection into our lives.



I wrote on Satish’s fabric, “we are wealthy when our world is healthy”. I believe the ecological crisis is happening now as a call to change, not because we can’t, but because we can. We can meet this as a powerful opportunity for tremendous personal and global transformation.



I am so grateful to all who have supported this North Pole journey. It has been so very graced. May we continue to wake up, connect to ourselves and to each other and realize our true nature. Mall beings be free of suffering.

With Grace, may it be so.



Parvati

North Pole Journey - Day Seven

Day Seven: Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Performance at Inuksuk High School IQALUIT

We fly back to Toronto today, but first, we have one last stop. I am scheduled to perform and Satish will present his fabric at Iqaluit's Inuksuk High School at 11am. It is already 8am. We must check out of the hotel and head up the hill for my sound check, costume change and walk through the show in a space I have not yet seen. Satish has a few personal pieces to tend to and encourages us to go ahead. He knows it takes me an hour and a half just to get into costume.

Our taxi pulls up to a large, electric blue building that looks like a large block of Lego, marked only by a few small, circular windows. The day has already begun for students. The halls are empty as we walk towards the administration offices to check in. I feel a sense of familiarity here. I remember this, the feeling of hormones and agitation in the air, the tension between the students feeling “I really don’t care but I have to be here” and “this is where my best friends hang” – and the teachers doing the best they can in jobs that are not easy.

Sunanda and I are shown into my makeshift dressing room, a small office that appears to be the guidance counselor’s office. The bookshelves are lined with information about birth control methods and tools for teenage pregnancy and parenting techniques. Here Sunanda begins to unpack the costume elements as I join Rishi for sound check.

Rishi is in the auditorium with two drama students. They are doing their best to tweak the sound system so that my music fills the space and feels juicy. I walk over to sing into the mic. There I tweak some knobs and bring to life a mixer covered in dust, with hidden magic elements these students knew nothing about. We are in better technical shape than I had thought. This will go over well. The sound is good.

I head back to the dressing room where Sunanda and I launch into transforming me into the mythic creature Natamba. The drama teacher has told us that her students are really excited about the show, since she told them I am a cross between Lady Gaga and Madonna.

The school bell rings and triggers a Pavlovian response in me. A feeling of excitement and freedom surges through my body. The halls fill with noisy, boisterous, vibrantly alive students who emerge from small rooms. Soon the auditorium is flooded with dynamic bodies full of the very hormones I felt pulsating through the halls when I first walked in. I peek out of my dressing room door and see a room agitated and full of energy. This is fabulous. I am ready.

The lights go out and Rishi walks on. He announces my presence and shares a brief introduction to the meaning of my trip. I walk through the cheer and break into song. The crowd is generous, palpable and vital.

After my four songs, I call over the mic for Satish, who I had not seen since morning. In the dark room, he had been patiently waiting through my performance in the front row of the auditorium. He walks onto the stage and together we unveil his fabric, explaining his mission. The auditorium is silent as the students are glued to his presentation.

Then we open a dialogue and welcome questions. The one I get the most is about the wig and costume. This is never dull, especially now with this spontaneous wig creation on my head made of recycled mayonnaise lids! It’s a great green promo piece, I joke. Satish is asked about the breadth of his travels and where he goes next. The kids are clearly inspired by our presence and shout out “great work!” and “keep going!”. This is why we have come: to touch, to inspire, to heal, and to transform. Another success as we come to the end of our North Pole journey.

As I walk off stage, CBC TV is waiting. A producer had come to televise the show and now wants to ask questions. I love the feeling of being able to reach and touch many people through the media. We live in a blessed age where distance does not matter.

Rishi is busy redirecting various teenagers that surround us. As I leave the CBC interview, students ask for my autograph. The many faces show differing stories but all have the light of hope in their eyes.

I peel myself away from the group and slip back into the dressing room. Our flight leaves in just over an hour. Sunanda helps me get out of costume as quickly as possible and we hastily make our way into a cab.

HOMEWARD BOUND

This time however, we are not all going the same direction. Just as we came separately to Resolute Bay, now we go our separate ways. Satish is on his way to Ottawa while we go home to Toronto. After this adventure of a lifetime and working in such close camaraderie, sharing the common vision to serve our planet, leaving Satish is hard. We make sure he is safely on his flight and then run to ours.

Just as our trip started barely making it to our flight Northbound, we now return home barely making it onto this flight. When we left home, our delay getting to the plane was due to the amount of tasks we had to prepare for a completely unknown experience in a very short time. Perhaps too, it was an expression of some fear of the possibility of death we could meet in the journey. Now, the tight timeline to get to our flight feels like a result of us trying to savour every last morsel of this adventure of a lifetime.

Nunavut, we will greatly miss you. Your story moved us to come to the top of the world. Now, your story is part of our own personal story. Each one of us carries within us new-found love for the Inuit, deeper love for our planet, our Mother Earth and growing gratitude for the power of friendship. Individually we are strong. But together we are One Earth family.

North Pole Journey, Day Six

Day Six: Tuesday, September 28, 2010

BACK TO IQALUIT

Satish, Sunanda, Rishi and I greet this, our last day in Resolute Bay, before sunrise. Out the breakfast room window, the wind blows powdered snow across the rocky ground and out over the frozen Arctic Ocean where yesterday we walked on icebergs. Today the sky is cloudy, still darkened by the remains of the night. Our bags are packed, awaiting us at the front door of the inn so that we may catch an early flight to Iqaluit today, en route back to Toronto. Tonight we will rest in Iqaluit, Nunavut territory’s capital city and largest community located on the south coast of Baffin Island at the head of Frobisher Bay.

We say our goodbyes to Chris at the inn, then Meghan at the airport who drives us to our departure. There is no doubt we are sad to leave. This has been an enormously important trip for each one of us, the likes of which seems still masked by a cloudy feeling that draws across my inner sight. I cannot quite see the magnitude of what this all means. All I know for sure is, like a child who marks their growth with lines on the inside of a doorjamb, the growth of my Self is marked on the doorjamb of my life by this trip to the North Pole.

The flight, which left the ground at 6:30am, is relatively uneventful. It retraces our Northbound steps, now moving back over land that we saw just a short time ago with the miracle of virgin eyes. Today’s clouds partially masks the view of the geographic magnitude we were privy to witness on the way up. Despite the cloud, I can still very much feel the expansive, harsh rock and ice that rolls out in broad, carved strokes below me. This is the land of the Inuit people where humans have survived for thousands of years. Like a child that intuitively knows its mother, I feel a connection to this part of the world, our Mother Earth, as though within me a baby Inuit soul is being born. I understand fully how I heard Her call that drew me on this journey. I am connected to the planet, to these people, to all people through my humanity, through my reliance on this majestic planet’s selfless generosity for my very survival.

The 6000-plus populated Iqaluit, by comparison to the Resolute Bay community of 200, seems like a booming metropolis. But still, the modern buildings are laid out over rough roads and sidewalks, which lend some insight into what perhaps most cities were like in early inception. Founded in 1942 as an American airbase, Iqaluit, meaning "place of many fish" in Inuktitut, is a young city.

As we arrive at the new Nova Inn, we are told that there are no rooms left to accommodate our needs. Somehow Sunanda creates magic and soon we are up in our room. The day is yet young, so we head out for a planned meeting at the Elder Centre. It is I in particular who wants to visit with the Inuit elders to hear what they have witnessed in environmental changes, to learn from their insights, to see if there is a way we can serve them and in so doing, serve the Earth.

WISDOM FROM THE ELDERS

A bilingual, middle-aged Inuit woman greets the four of us at the Center. She is our translator. Most of the elders speak only Inuktitut. Some of these people are over 100 years old.

The large, bright room with a bay window at one end is filled with perhaps people, mostly women, who sit at tables and chairs playing cards, conversing and sharing time. Rishi asks if he is allowed to videotape our visit. We are given permission.

Two women, perhaps eighty or so, become spokes people for the group. They share stories about the enormous changes they have seen over the course of their lifetime, illustrating how snow used to be pure white but is now dark, dirty and yellowed. They speak of life living off the land and how they now no longer live in igloos but in built houses. They share stories from their grandfathers, how their elders saw the coming of the white people and how they would bring this environmental change.

These elders say they have hope, that is, hope for their children. They see the Inuit children now more educated and as such, with more ability to deal with the environmental problems. For them, the future depends on the health and strength of the children.

Satish reaches into his jute bag to pull out his eco-silk fabric message, dedicated to children. Sunanda and I help open it up and walk around the edges of the room so that the elders can see the many signatures from around the world it showcases. We talk about Satish’s work and share the reasons we have come to the North Pole. I share how my music is dedicated to helping people remember the good of life, awakening to who we are, how we are all interconnected as one human family. I am asked to sing, so I spontaneously choose “You Gotta Believe”, a song I wrote on 9-11 and had the privilege to sing in New York City at the world famous Madison Square Garden. As the sound pours out of my mouth, I feel my whole body shiver with waves of energy moving through. I am reminded and humbled yet again that there is a force here that is so much greater than our limited selves can see.

SPEAKING AT THE CITY COUNCIL MEETING

The next meeting that Sunanda organized for us is with City Councilor Simon Nattaq. We make our way over to the government building. Shaking Simon’s hand is like touching the strength of the Earth. Like Sam the hunter who brought us yesterday out to the ocean icebergs, Simon feels made of the land itself. This is not a feeling I have had shaking any other politicians hand. I soon find out that Simon is not only a politician, but a respected elder in the community. A government employee translates Simon’s native tongue Inuktitut into English and our words into Inuktitut.

Satish and I speak of our mission to help awaken people to the necessity of understanding our interconnection, how we are all children of the same Mother, the planet Earth. Simon is open to this message and warm to our communication. We spend a generous half hour together. He signs Satish’s fabric in traditional Inuktitut geometric writing. His penmanship stands unique among other signatures in various languages on the electric-green silk.

We are offered a place to speak at the City Council Meeting today. At the meeting, Satish and I individually step to the microphone and each share the call of our parallel missions. As I speak, I watch the Inuit women on the board resonate with my words:

I am not a scientist who works in external laboratories. I have no clinical evidence to prove the agitation that is in Nature at this time. I am an artist. My laboratory is within. Through my inner, quiet, contemplative practice and meditation, I have felt called from within from the Earth herself to make this journey. We are one Earth family, all inter-connected through Nature, our Mother Earth.

Being a singer, songwriter and performer, what I can offer is my voice. I am here to help give voice to the environment and bring with me a message from the North. Being in the media, I am in a position to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice in people all around the world, many of whom are disconnected from Nature and are unaware of the role we each play as Earth Walkers. I am here to be present with you, to connect, to listen, to honour your ways, to respect those that are acutely aware of our interconnection with Nature. The reason we have come is to build a community of mutual trust and support. We know that only when we listen and work together can we bring about the change that is so urgently needed. I would like to hear from you if there is any way you feel we may serve you and our shared Earth.

The message from the council members echoes what we have heard unsolicited from the elders, hunters, healers, environmentalists and politicians: tell the south to stop polluting. The world’s pollution ends up in the North, at the top of our world. Nature is dying; the animals are leaving; and as such, we are suffering.

After our City Council talk, several young adults at the meeting who are part of Katimavik, an organization that educates Canadian youth through community involvement, come up to us to share how touched they are by our North Pole mission. Yes, hope is in the children. And this environmental crisis calls each one of us to make positive change in our own lives, in what we think, in how we treat ourselves, in how we listen to each other and in how we respect our planet. Yes, now more than ever, hope is born from awakened consciousness in all we do.

North Pole Journey: Day Four, Part Three

Day Four: Sunday September 26, 2010

Part Three

AT THE NORTH POLE

It feels as though we have arrived on the moon. The plane seems even tinier now that we have touched down onto the vast field of pure white, untouched ice and snow. To the East, the wind has carved a few sculpted, hills made of solid ice. The snow extends as far as I can see, far out over the flat, vast ocean that is capped by solid ice, upon which we stand. The pale blue, expansive sky blends with the pale blue tinge of the snow, giving the impression of otherworldly groundlessness and infinite reach in all directions.

We are here for two reasons: for me to perform my songs at the top of the world and to do healing work for the planet Earth. Both of these are to help raise awareness of the speed with which the ice now beneath our feet is melting. In just a few years, we will be among the few who were able to stand here.

That thought seems hard to believe, as it is now -25C, yet this is unseasonably “warm” weather for this location. We were told that at this time of year, it was dangerous for us to land as the ice is thin. I also know that just as the Earth’s physical pollution is carried by wind currents and tragically collects at the top of the world, so too, the Earth’s psychic pollution gathers here. This was part of the call to come. At the crown of the body of our Mother Earth, we can, through song and prayer, offer our presence as service to ease the suffering She endures due to our human ignorance.

Sunanda, Rishi and I launch into high gear to get our work done in the short time frame. We have three hours here until we must board the plane for our safe return. The clock is ticking. We have scheduled for ourselves one hour to shoot the video of my performance and two hours to do the healing work we have come to do. All our actions needed to be trim, prompt and focused, especially with quickly fading light. Immediately we go to the task of shooting me singing four songs at the North Pole.

We are usually a strong, harmonious group, but almost as soon as we land, each one of us becomes anxious, pushy, cranky and tense with each other. One could say our behaviour is simply a reflection of the pressures of the day. Yet I know otherwise. The tricky energies here are seeping into our psyches. There is interference which does not wish our success. We must not only be on our toes to get our tasks done but we must be more inwardly alert than ever to be present as karma yogis, those dedicated to selfless service through action. I feel strengthened with the thought that our group of volunteers we call the Earth Team and the spiritual community we belong to in Toronto are actively praying for us and supporting the success of this mission.

NOT ALL THAT SHIMMERS IS GOLD

Our first task is to look for the ideal location to shoot the performance footage. We need something that will capture the immensity of where we are. Strong light is key. We see in the distance a gorgeous spread of golden light across the snow as the sun begins its descent behind the plane. We decide to walk towards this shimmering expanse as fast as possible and set up the shoot.

Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes go by trudging with effort through snow and ice as high as our knees. I turn back and see the plane has become a dot in the distance. My heart skips a few beats as I crouch down to push away the snow at my feet and reveal thick, translucent ice. The image of polar animals swimming below me flashes through my mind. I am not on solid land. I am in the middle of nowhere and, now, far from the safety of our plane, the pilots, their rifle and our gear.

I realize that we have made a rookie mistake and already spent a quarter of the time we have for the video shooting, and we are no closer to our golden location. Panic sets in. I quickly conclude that, likely similar to being in a sandy desert, now in this snow desert, without any points of reference, that which seems close is in fact much further away than what our senses can perceive.

I stop abruptly and the sound of crunching ice and snow beneath my feet also ceases. I understand that we are chasing a sparkling, fractal illusion of light. We believe we are moving closer to it, yet it is quickly receding from us, drawing us further and further away from safety and now sabotaging our mission. I call out to Sunanda and Rishi who also stop walking. I suggest we set up our shot exactly where we are with the light we have left before we lose it altogether. This is our one and only chance to get the shots we needed. We cannot spend any more time seeking “the perfect light”. This is the perfect place to be. So we begin.

North Pole Journey - Day Four, Part Two

EUREKA

Around midday, we land to refuel in the Canadian weather station Eureka, official population seven. As the plane lowers to the ground, I notice unusual animals in the distance that look like prehistoric woolly mammoths. As we deplane, the pilots tell us that we have landed near a heard of wild muskox. We are encouraged to take a closer look, so Sunanda, Rishi and I walk cautiously towards the heard. Their long, furry dark brown coats are layered with clusters of ice. A couple of beasts shake their heads, steam escaping from their nostrils in the rush of an exhale. They know they have onlookers. As though these creatures are the dark, rocky mountains that surround us come to life, a wild, untouched force feels clear in their presence.

Soon a truck pulls up to the plane. Two inhabitants of the weather station have arrived to greet us, offering us the use of the washrooms there if need be, while the pilots refuel. The three of us go quickly to be back in the sky about 20 minutes later. We still have another couple of hours until we reach our final destination.

THE ANGELS ARE WITH US

As the hours pass, the kilometers of vast, expansive scenery out the plane window is breathtaking. Throughout the flight from Resolute Bay to Eureka and now here, heading northbound somewhere above uninhabited Canadian wild, we have been graced by clear skies. Below us I see rolling and plunging icy fiords with rock as black as night and snow a sparkling white as pure as crystal. We pass over dusty steel-blue-grey frozen ocean with broken sheets of pale white ice. When open water appears, it looks as black as the mountainsides, dark, deep and menacing. Certainly this landscape does not welcome humans. I am grateful, despite the beauty, for being in the relative safety of this tiny, warm plane.

Out of the window over my shoulder, I continually notice a shimmering light in the sky. It is as though a dancing ray has been following us since we departed this morning. It creates sharp shards of golden beams that pierce the sky, then grow into a fiery expanse. I lean into Sunanda and suggest that Archangel Ariel is with us. For sure, this plane, that I would call Grace, feels escorted by angels. Filled with prayers, mantras and healing intentions, there is a harmonious presence in us all, a surrender to this experience.

NATAMBA

I notice the co-pilot Mark looking back at us from the cockpit to catch our attention. He signals it is about an hour until we land. Sunanda and I pull open our bags and get out hairpins, brushes, makeup, mirrors, costume and the wig. It is time for me to get ready for my performance and transform into Natamba, the Avalonian Goddess from my show. Using the petrol barrels as our tabletop, carefully and skillfully, Sunanda and I manage to paint my face, tie up my hair, place the new, makeshift wig on my head and clothe me fully in a gold flight suit, made especially for this trip.

Natamba to me is much more than an entertainment character. She represents the Cosmic Intelligence, the highest good in us all. The embodiment of I AM consciousness, she is a multidimensional co-creator of the most potent kind. On Earth to serve the evolution of all beings, it is perfectly fitting that ‘she’ will perform my songs at the North Pole. In effect, this is the journey of Natamba to the top of the world.

The plane starts to make its descent. Sunanda and I quickly wrap up our wardrobe preparations. Rishi gets his video gear ready. As we land, we know we only have a three-hour window to do all we have come to do, otherwise jeopardizing our safe return tonight. The sun sets very early. As it is already mid-afternoon, we must work very quickly.

As we land, Mark, already on the ground, opens our cabin door to help us deplane as it is a five-foot descent down slippery stairs. To his surprise, he looks up and sees Natamba in full costume emerging from the dark out of the cabin door hole. Amazed, he takes a few steps back and says: “Wow! THAT is cool!” 

Sunanda, Rishi and I climbed into the plane in the wee hours this morning. Five hours later, while the pilots focused on navigating by paper maps over the magnetic north pole, magic had been taking place within the cabin. Now a new character has emerged, transformed during the journey. Natamba, the embodiment of I Am consciousness, a representative of the Cosmic Intelligence, will sing to the Mother Earth and for all beings at the top of the world. Surely this is a most unusual adventure. 

North Pole Journey: Day Four, Part One

Day Four: Sunday, September 26, 2010

Part One

UP, UP AND AWAY!

The morning alarm goes off just a couple of hours after I had stretched myself out to sleep. I pop out of bed, surprisingly not tired. This is the day I have been preparing for. We are going to the North Pole so I can perform my songs there. Rishi will shoot the video, and then we will offer healing to our Mother Earth at the top of the world – all to help raise awareness that the polar ice caps are melting at an alarming rate. I feel connected to warrior-like steadiness, ready to meet whatever this day may bring.

I peel back the curtains of the hotel window in Resolute Bay to see the dawn light not yet breaking amidst flurries, blowing snow and overcast skies. Today we are scheduled to travel about 800km by air. A momentary thought passes through my mind: will our trip be postponed due to inclement weather? I rule it out. I don’t want to go there, even though, over the last couple of days, we have been warned of bad weather and potentially having to reschedule our departure. We have been actively praying for all to go smoothly. I choose to only believe that am protected and lucky.

We quickly get ourselves dressed and downstairs to contact the airport for today’s weather forecast. Rishi makes the call. Is our private flight a go? He returns with a radiant face, saying the weathermen were surprised to report what they saw. The weather is low visibility everywhere except in the small stretch where we plan to land. Based on this report, we can leave. Sunanda, Rishi and I smile at each other. We all know that this is grace.

Meghan, the innkeeper, kindly drives us quickly out to the airport where a tiny Sea Otter plane awaits our arrival. In the twilight of dawn, amidst the blowing snow and -15º C icy winds, Captain Troy and co-pilot Mark greet us and help get our gear onto the plane.

As we board, we are told that today we have the “executive suite special”: Captain Troy points jokingly to a garbage bag-lined bin that is our only toilet for the day. The cabin is perhaps 18 feet long and four feet wide, half the space occupied by large, rusty metal barrels, our fuel reserves to make today’s journey.

Somehow, I like this plane. Perhaps the purpose of the journey itself inspires me and makes all things uncomfortable seem meaningless. Neither the prevalent smell of gasoline nor the uncomfortable, collapsible seats made of woven, synthetic fabric hung over metal rods is a bother. I have ridden for hours in a tropical jeep crammed with more than twenty sweaty people as we bump over dirt roads. I have slept on concrete rooftops, park benches, on the soil of dense forests and on the sand in open, raging beaches with few necessities. As the adventurer and one ready to serve the highest good in all, I feel ready for anything.

Wrapped in our down snowsuits, we each find a seat and buckle ourselves in. The engine starts abruptly, igniting a very loud sound that makes it impossible for us to speak to one another. I now understand why, when we boarded, we were given orange foam earplugs. It is now nearing 9am and it is getting light out. We must depart if we are to succeed our mission before nightfall.

ONE WITH THE SKY

The body of the plane shakes as we rise. Air vents switch on, providing some heat. Below us, the tiny box-like houses of Resolute Bay look increasingly distant. Inside this small cabin space, I am immediately struck by an intimacy with the sky, an almost physical connection to the air, the clouds and the atmosphere. I begin to feel as though the body of the plane is an extension of my own.

Aware of the warnings of the dangers of this trip that were echoed by the Inuit healers we met in Resolute, Sunanda, Rishi and I are busy invoking grace every minute of the trip. In the silencing noise, we are left alone to go within. We each quietly meditate and pray, tuning into the purity of this mission to serve all beings. We pull out our mantra books and each recite the thousand names of the Goddess, an ancient Sanskrit prayer to the Divine Feminine. The Earth is our Mother. To Her we offer these prayers.

Though the land looks pure, white and untouched, I sense the presence of energetic congestion. I can see it in our cities, the weather patterns changing, extreme heat, extreme cold. I can see it in people’s faces all over the world, the stress, the fear, the disconnect. Here too, I can feel it in nature, the agitation, the weight of the collective consciousness at this time on the planet. The earth is burdened. Here, Sunanda, Rishi and I are doing what we can, playing our part in helping to lighten the load. May these prayers serve. May these actions inspire. May all beings be free…