The Gift in Adversity

THE GIFT IN ADVERSITY

I just returned from being in England over the past few weeks. On a professional level, it was an excellent, full on time performing and teaching, moving my projects forward, meeting great people and finding out more about the world and myself. But what I learned was beyond all of this.

The day after my first show at the Mind Body Spirit Festival in London, I developed severe laryngitis. This may seem like a tragedy for one who uses her voice to perform and teach. But for one who has made a promise to the spiritual path, I know that the universe has an amazing way of keeping us honest and on path. Adversity is nothing other than a gift in disguise.

As I allowed myself to soften into the physical and emotional discomfort I felt having absolutely no voice, I found myself inundated with memories from what seemed to be a past life memory in London dying of consumption (tuberculosis). At that time, my lungs were full of fluid. I could not breathe, and I felt silent in my ability to voice feelings of powerlessness. In the present, what lingered was resentment of having died in a state of sorrow. So I welcomed these feelings as part of healing my laryngitis.

However, my memories did not stop there. As we toured through England, I was also reminded of another time in the UK when water filled my lungs. I had stones tied to my feet and was being drowned for my beliefs, likely when I was a healer, accused of being a witch. In that lifetime, I also died with water-filled lungs, with unspoken beliefs.

As my laryngitis moved into bronchitis, I had every opportunity to meet these emotions and send myself love and understanding so that I could deeply heal. In the bustle of the full on 18 hour a day schedule I had there, there was little room for formal sitting meditation practice, which I believe if I had had, I would not have fallen ill. I needed the inner space to process what was arising. Release through my body was the only way it could be expressed, due to my busy-body schedule. 

Being in England with fever and illness was an opportunity for me to forgive and let go at a deep, soul level. In the present, my business meetings were fruitful, people supportive, shows and workshops excellent (one was even sold out) and products sold. Spiritually, I was being asked to come more fully into the present. The fears I carried from those past experiences were colouring the here and now.

As I walked through the British streets, rode the London tube, watched the people come and go, I consciously had to remind myself it was 2013 and I was physically free and breathing freely and had the freedom to say what and how I felt.

I understand time to be like Russian dolls, each moment inside the other, not linear like we think time to be. There is no past or future, but an eternal now in which all unfolds simultaneously.

Whatever arises for us in the moment, as we practice mindful awareness, is exactly where we need to be. For me, it was in healing the past to be fully present and allow myself to grieve and heal.

Who knows what my next trip to the UK will bring. For that matter, who knows what the next moment will bring. That does not matter. I feel grateful for the opportunities I did experience and am open to what unfolds.

May we each have the courage in each moment to meet it as it is, without reservation, without judgment so that we may shine the eternal light we truly are.

Enjoy each moment,

Parvati

Notes from the US Tour: A Journey Of Faith

Across the expansive plains of North Dakota, over the majestic mountains of Idaho, carried through the dewy air of Washington and Oregon, then down the sunny California coast, through the red rock of New Mexico, surviving the scorching heat of Oklahoma, Texas and the Carolinas, I now sit under a canopy of droopy tropical trees in Florida listening to the symphony of bugs and birds that chant in July's steamy sauna-like forest.

 

Rishi just drove away to look for food for dinner that we can cook on our camping stove, taking with him the van we have called home since the end of May, when we first left Toronto. More than my first US musical tour, this journey has been repeatedly a call to faith, to take bold leaps into the unknown, trust and expand to meet unforeseen possibilities.

 

During a recent meditation, I saw beneath me a bridge of light. I could not see it with plain sight, but in surrender, in openness, I trust, I saw it there, carrying my every step. Limited cell phone reception, intermittent Internet, bookings that spontaneously dissolve as others magically arise, we are being asked to live right here, right now and engage life fully.

 

By grace, all those who have come to my shows and workshops love the sharing. We have been asked to come back to every venue we have attended. I will also be performing at BhaktiFest in Joshua Tree, California (an invitation that came to us while on tour) the first week of September. So we will be on the road longer than anticipated.

 

I am now alone in a large campsite, sitting on the ground that has been freshly moistened by a typical mid summer afternoon downpour. No tent near me, no van to call home that carries all my gear that I hold dearly, I sit in the open air and become familiar with these raw surroundings. In the aloneness and quiet, I feel drawn to meditate and listen to the immense pulse of nature that is so vocal in this heat. Squirrels and geckos are coming close to check me out. Who is this girl who sits alone amongst us? Cicadas swell to answer: She is one of us.

 

I can see RVs in the distance that look like strange metallic beasts in this treed land, where long clusters of moss hang and sway in the breeze from thickly sculpted yet almost furry mossy branches. Lush leaves of deep green are drenched with the moisture in the air, seemingly relaxed in the heat.

 

An unexpected vulnerability has come over me, as I sit by myself. I feel tiny in a massive world, yet also more intimately connected now out in the open air to the planet, the mother herself. I pray and listen. There is an earthiness I find in simple living, that brings me to touch an honest frailty of being. It also empowers. Through surrender, I find love and feel immensely connected to it all. 

 

It is from this place of surrender that I sing the new songs for my new fans on this US tour. It is from this place I am drawn to create. Is She, the Mother, not so immense, so vast, so potent, infinitely loving and compassionate? And all we need to do is open in stillness to find Her patiently waiting, right here, right now, wherever we may be.

 

The sun is going down and light fading in a cloudy sky. The pot of rice, that I am minding on the camping stove beside me, quietly cooks as I await Rishi's return. Time to close my eyes now, and rest in the precious moments of surrendered meditation...

 

Ask Parvati 38: Finding Centre in the Busy Day - Part 6: Being With The Guru

Every day I sit in meditation with the intention to simply be present with my guru Amma. I sit quietly, breathing Her name, feeling gratitude, knowing She is there, everywhere, even if I cannot see. Moving deeper into silence, often I can feel Her, as though She is actually in the room. It does not feel like my imagination or a fantasy, which would feel vaporous and ungrounded. Nor does it feel like a mental projection in which I have left my body, wanting to be somewhere other than I am. It feels like the opposite.

 

It seems as I deepen my ability to be present, settling in further still, I find Her. She was always there, only I was unable to see with my five senses. It is as though I become so deeply rooted, vital and expansive that my energy body opens to be in Her physical location, wherever She may be at that time, perhaps in a meditation hall sharing the infinite love She is by receiving thousands of seekers in one sit.

 

At times, I feel Her so close, it is as though I were having Her darshan, held in Her Divine embrace. I can smell Her fragrance, as sweet as a thousand roses. I can see Her white sari disappear into the immense vast oceans of pure, deep space, the play of consciousness.

 

At times, as I sit quietly, present in meditation, I feel that all that is around me, the air, the ethers, all of matter, is She. I am literally breathing Her, the feeling as palpable as physical touch. It is as though a merging occurs, through the breath. Then the feeling of my skin-sheath-body disappears and She is everywhere, everything. All that remains is the sense of this immense space, no me, no them, no later, no before, just an infinite expansive now. In that place, all is perfection.

It is my sincere wish to cultivate purity of heart and mind so that this body/being may be a humble vehicle for Her Divine love and will. The only way I know to cultivate this is to develop single-pointed focus so that I see all I experience as Her teachings reflected back to me. In this, there is an inseparable closeness, a profound trust and ever-deeper sense of surrendered letting go. This life then becomes a repeated turning all towards Her through an engaged, alive, moment-to-moment meditation practice. Any notion of separation is too much to bear. The call to the One is all that remains.

 

With Grace, may we all be filled with the Divine Love of pure consciousness arising.

 

Jai Ma,

Parvati

Ask Parvati 38: Finding Centre in the Busy Day - Part 1: The Power of the Breath

I feel a bit like a jukebox: ask questions, get blog entries. This week, for
whatever reason, I did not receive any questions from you. Rather than leaving this week's Ask Parvati blog silent, I thought I would share a bit about my daily internal process that helps me remain centred when faced with a busy life. Perhaps this will help shake out some more questions to send my way for next week's blog postings. Remember they need to be in by Thursday. Please send your questions to ask@parvatidevi.com.

 

We all have our ways to find our place of personal balance. Some like exercise, others prefer quiet time, while others love to get out in nature and go for a good long walk. Whatever works for you, go for it. Life is short and there is only one you through all time and space. So be the best you that you can be!

 

My "way in" is my spiritual practice, in particular, my meditation practice. Meditation may conjure images of sitting still and quietening the mind. Though my sitting practice is the foundation and heart of my meditation practice, meditation can be practiced at any time, any where, in any place because meditation is about being in non-resistance to what is. The quiet time I spend in sitting meditation is like priming the pump so that I may live my day feeling connected to a much greater whole.

 

Meditation is a discipline, a way to get out of the way and assist in the redirection of our negative tendencies towards a much greater whole. Our general, unawakened tendency is to see life through the lens of our ego, which wants to separate, categorize, divide and fight or flee. There is nothing wrong with that, per se, except that when we live our lives driven by our ego's whims, we inevitably suffer and cause suffering. At the end of the day, no one really wants that.

 

If we are to see meditation as a priming of the consciousness pump, then best to tap in when the atmosphere is the most still and unencumbered. That so happens to be between 4am and 6am. Since most of us don't get up at those hours, it is best to practice meditation when we first wake up, ideally early, around 5 or 6am, when the mind is still quiet and fresh from sleep. This way, we give ourselves a sort of head start into practicing stillness and opening to possibility. If we were to meditate say at 9am, or even later in the day such as at 2pm, the atmosphere is more agitated, filled with the business of the active, moving day. Our mind then too would be more agitated and our practice less profound.

 

Once we develop a daily meditation rhythm that helps us tap in to greater expansion, we may feel drawn to experience the stillness we find in meditation throughout the day. This takes practice. There are many techniques that can help us do this. This week, I will share a few things I do that help me bring my meditation practice from my sitting cushion into my busy day.

 

In the rush of it all, we can find it easy to forget to breathe. It is amazing how much we tend to hold our breath. When relaxed, our breath flows effortlessly in and out, like the ebb and flow of ocean waves. A relaxed breath helps our whole body relax. And when we are relaxed, we enjoy more and experience life more fully.

 

At any given time today, tune into your breath and see how it is flowing. If you find yourself holding, take a few deep breaths. If you find yourself breathing comfortably, take a few deep breaths and enjoy the flow of air. Life is amazing, and breathing is a big part of why we are alive!

 

I will share more mindfulness tips tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy the gift of this day!

Parvati

Ask Parvati 34: The Journey to YEM - Part 1: Early Beginnings

Ask Parvati 34: The Journey to YEM - Part 1: Early Beginnings

 

Thank you for sending in questions while I was away performing in Florida. This week, I answer a more personal question about how I came to develop my yoga practice. Please keep sending your questions. I enjoy both receiving and answering them. Send yours by Thursday to ask@parvatidevi.com to be answered by lottery beginning next Sunday.

 

Enjoy the entries this week!

Parvati

Dear Parvati,
I have recently bought your YEM DVD. I really enjoy your teachings and all the amazing information that the DVD offers. I have found the exercises are really starting to sink into my daily life. Thank you! I would be interested to find out a bit more about you. Would you be wiling to share a bit more about how you came to YEM and what Yoga means to you?

EARLY BEGINNINGS

 

When I was a child, as early as I can remember, I was aware of “otherness”. The unseen world, a place that children know and adults forget, was a place where I felt safe and comfortable. I saw spirits in our house, beings without form. I saw shapeless presences of immense light I called angels and spoke with them. I played in my room with my tape recorder creating songs to communicate with them. I composed musical scores, played my wooden soprano recorder and sang. Though I sang as part of various choirs from a very young age, I felt I sang for the angels. Sound was a way of prayer, a way to communicate with God. It was how I felt connected and alive.

 

I would lie awake for hours and hear the nighthawk sing in the summer sky. I saw nature as alive. I remember lying underneath the massive maple tree in our front yard in Montreal and feeling my body dissolve into the grass and my spirit commune with the life force of that tree. It was my guardian and my friend. In nature, I found a purity of expression that grounded me and supported me to feel safe and fluid as I communicated with a world without form.

 

I grew up in a spiritually aware household. My parents were both Christians. Unlike many people who follow organized religion, my parents encouraged me to connect to spirit in whatever manner I felt comfortable. They just wanted me to connect. They wanted me to know that life extended far beyond the tangible. Family dinner conversations revolved around spirituality, art and culture. I was exposed at a young age to Church and went weekly, but also I was brought to Synagogues and other places of worship, as well as places of need, such as long term care facilities and food banks. Despite my parent's open-mindedness, it was challenging for them to comprehend my comfort with the unseen world.

 

As with most children, I found out that it was not “cool” to be spiritually connected and see things that “were not there”. With the desire to fit in at school, I began to suppress my joy and natural connectedness. I did not speak about what I saw. I suppressed what I felt. Yet as spiritual things are undefinable, so are they unstoppable. Spiritual guidance still crept in.

 

I became aware of Yogic arts when I was about 10 years old. When I was over to play at my school friend’s house, I saw her mother, a tall, beautiful German woman (who I remember as having perfect skin and deep turquoise eyes) quietly excuse herself to go into a room in the house for some time. I was never invited into that mysterious room. When the room door would open, it seemed that it pulsated with something I only now understand as the spiritual energy I have seen in a yoga studios and meditation halls. After what felt like an expansive, infinite amount of time, my friend's mom would come out of the strange room and somehow, she seemed magically transformed, radiating, brighter, glowing. I wondered what went on in there. It seemed somehow the fairies were in there helping her with something. All I knew is that I liked it, and wanted to be part of it.

 

Later I found out it was not magic or mystery that made that room seem so special, but a systematic, disciplined practice and life science called Yoga. She knew that if she did certain breathing exercises, calmed and focused her mind, allowed her body to move into certain positions, she was boosting her life force energy, vitality and sense of inner peace. I later found out she was a long time practitioner of Iyengar Yoga, which I later ended up practicing quite extensively.

 

Around that same time in my life, each year at Christmas, my grandmother from Edmonton would come stay in our Montreal home for a month or so. She was my first spiritual teacher, more consciously so in my mid-teens. My grandmother had a special light. She spoke about her choice to cultivate “quiet assurance” through sitting each day in meditation to "connect with her Maker".

 

Though she had a Christian background, she had long since found the politics in churches dissonant with her joy for mysticism. She had lived through hell and back when she lost her husband around World War Two, and faced a debilitating disease herself that confined her to bed for a full year, without money, no husband and three young children. But she had a deep faith in a God that provides. Faced with what seemed like an incurable illness, she said she just knew that she had to give her whole life over to God, and go to bed and pray for a cure from the disease. At that time, there was a knock at the door. A woman who had also lost her husband in the war was without a place to live. She became the guardian for my grandmother’s children, my mom and her older brother and sister. A year or so later, my grandmother was “miraculously” cured.

 

Through adversity, a deep faith in God, a daily practice of what I now know to be meditation, my grandmother had found and exuded a spiritual fluidity and grace. I wanted to know how I too could find that. Each year she came, we had longer discussions about yoga, prayer, spirituality and meditation.

 

Upon this intimate foundation, inspired by "otherness", meditation and nature, my life flowered in reverence to the mystical. I learned to see that whatever happened, we were part of a much greater whole. I was taught from a young age that we were close to the Divine, something we could embody when we open in humility. Spirit and matter were not two but one along a continuum. From these teachings, YEM would eventually emerge. These early years were just the beginning.

 

(Continued tomorrow with Steps Towards Yoga)

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga Is Everywhere, Part 7 - Being Relaxed And Alert

BEING RELAXED AND ALERT

(Continued from Tantra)

 

There are many faces of Yoga. Ultimately, yoga (that is, the face of the divine) is everywhere. If you feel stuck on your yogic path and you feel you need to expand and try something new, ask yourself a few important questions before any big changes:

 

- What motivates my desire for change?

- Is the desire to move coming from a place of agitation and constriction or from a place of expansion and ease?

- Is this period of transition a reflection of me having met aspects of myself I find challenging and am trying to avoid by changing my practice?

- Is this the voice of my soul guiding me to expand into new areas of possibility?

 

As a rule of thumb, when I first started my sitting meditation practice, I would allow for the voice that said “enough, time to go” to come knocking three times before I got up from my cushion. Our minds are hungry. We tend to be agitated. Our egos want. We are habituated to feeding these tendencies. Spiritual practice is about overcoming and retraining these tendencies so that we may experience eternal bliss. We must therefore train our mind into moving through and beyond these hungers so that we may be truly fulfilled.

 

I believe deeply in the notion that digging many holes leads to just a lot of incomplete holes. But by digging one hole deeply, you will strike gold. It is important to stick with a practice, but one must do so with a sense of serious delight, focused playfulness and surrendered joy.

 

If you feel you are not moving away from your practice from a place of avoidance, always trust your gut when you feel drawn to try something new. Another rule of thumb is that that which feels rooted, vital and expansive supports your highest good and, as such, the highest good of all. That which feels constrictive and ungrounded is not in your highest good and is best released.

 

I do believe we are on the planet to have fun, to experience the bliss of the divine. We learn in both Hatha yoga and meditation practice to balance that which is alert and that which is relaxed. Discipline, when overly rigid, limits. But too much free flow is unguided and has no clear avenue for expression.

 

If you have developed a practice that is disciplined, keep that fire alive. It will serve you well. If you need more flow, do so in ways that bring delight into your life. See if you can shift your practice into a sense of freshness. What has been habitual may be experienced as new, with a beginner’s mind.

 

Ease up where you have been tight or pushy. Apply more attention where you may have been missing aspects of the practice. But above all, remember that yoga is not limited to your mat. Yoga is in how you perceive your mat as well as how you stand on it. Yoga is everywhere.

 

May we become fully awake so as to experience yoga everywhere, always.

May we all realize oneness soon.

Jai Ma,

Parvati

 

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga Is Everywhere, Part 2: Yoga Flowers

 

YOGA FLOWERS

(Continued from Part 1: Freedom in Freedom)

 

There is tremendous value in discipline. The riches found in yoga and meditation practices blossom with frequent watering. I had already established a wonderful rhythm now in full motion, which felt expansive, so I kept the momentum going. I began to meet my morning practice with a willingness to listen to and serve the still small voice within. By being quiet and receptive, I was open to answers.

 

Having become stifled by my rigorous Hatha yoga practice of “shoulds”, I went through a two-year period when that still small voice told me to lie there, every day, for an hour. Each day, during my regular practice time, all I did was savasana (lying on the floor, face up), allowing myself to dissolve into the ground, into my body, into the moment.

 

As I followed the spacious impulse that fed my yoga and meditation practice, I was drawn to express that same joyful expanse through my musical compositions and performances. I became clearer about the spiritual impulse and intentions that fed my musical compositions and performing.

 

At that time, I was also guided to take more modern dance classes. Though I had seen her perform prior to this, it was then that I came into contact with Margie Gillis, her teaching schedule and her immensely inspiring body of work.

 

In one of her workshops, I was arrested by the thought that I was hearing myself speak. At that time, I was regularly teaching yoga classes, using similar vocabulary that she now was using to teach me. In her, I saw an aspect of myself that had become bound by yoga routines. My world expanded exponentially when she invited us to begin exploring all of life as choreography, doing the waiting-for-the-bus dance, doing the sitting-in-a-chair dance, doing the getting-dressed-in-the-morning dance. Life is dancing, so dance it.

 

Margie’s spiritually and artistically integrated worldview helped me bring my already bursting-at-the-seams yoga practice even more off the mat and into the world. I translated her guidance to my yoga and meditation practiced and started doing waiting-in-the-supermarket-line tadasana (standing tall pose) or cleaning-in-the-shower tadasana. I began to see that wherever I stood was my yoga mat. Life became more of a fluid dance in which I could play, moment-to-moment with what is. The possibility of yoga, union with the divine, began to flower everywhere.

 

(Continues tomorrow with Yoga In the Nightclub)

 

Ask Parvati 20 - Tantra: Yoga is Everywhere - Part 1, Freedom in Freedom

TANTRA: YOGA IS EVERYWHERE

Dear Parvati,
I started studying yoga ten years ago. I have traveled to India, taken teacher training programs, and adhered strongly to an orthodox yoga style. Now I find my practice shifting. Rather than doing rigorous asana (yoga exercises), I want to explore a more playful sense of moment-to-moment mindfulness. As I follow this, I find my asana practice moving away from the pattern I have followed for so long.
I really like your song Yoga In The Nightclub and it got me thinking about this juncture I am at. When is yoga actually yoga? Just because you call something yoga doesn't make it yoga, does it? If, as you say, yoga is everywhere, even in a nightclub, why wouldn't my current practice still be yoga?

FREEDOM IN FREEDOM

Anything in our lives can become binding. We can feel joyfully free while jogging, later to find that running feels like a constrictive chore. We can find freedom in the new yoga classes we just adore, to later find that we are bored with the teacher and the routines. We can experience heights of bliss never before experienced when we first take up meditating, until we hit bumpy bits in our psyche when sitting practice starts to feel more like listening to nails on a chalkboard than to sweet, angelic music.

For years, I was religious about my yoga asana practice. I woke up and first thing, practiced every day without fail. I had to. Somehow I felt wonky if I did not. My day would unfold more smoothly when I did and I loved that feeling. Yoga and meditation provided (and still provide) an unequaled opportunity for centering, inner spaciousness and evolutionary support. But anything we do can turn from expansive to constrictive. Soon I began to feel confined by my yoga and meditation practice.

In my highly disciplined Hatha yoga practice, I hit a wall. I began to feel stiff rather than relaxed. I began to feel agitated, rather than expansive. I was no longer getting my fix from what I called my meditation medication. So I went deeper.

The practice started to reveal to me ways in which I was hard on myself. In some unconscious way, I felt that if I did not do the practice, I was a bad person. The drive that had led me to doing very well at school and university, that also drove me to wanting people’s approval, had now shown up as a sour motivator in my spiritual pursuits.

I turned more inward and listened to the impulses that made me feel expansive. I listened to joy and how it moved through my being. How did joy express itself through my being? I knew enough to know that living by “shoulds” would only lead to unhappiness. I knew that trusting that still small voice within would lead to greater and greater joy. It, after all, had led me to meditating and doing Hatha yoga in the first place. Where did that voice want to lead me? What did it want? How could I get out of the way and serve it?

(Continues tomorrow with Yoga Flowers)

Ask Parvati 19: What Is Home? Part 5, Finding Home in Non-Resistance to What Is

 

WHAT IS HOME? PART 5: FINDING HOME IN NON-RESISTANCE TO WHAT IS

(Continued from What Is Home? Part 4: Home In The Vertical Hour)

 

These days, home for me has everything to do with non-resistance to what is. People have been asking me, especially as I have been blogging about it recently, what does it mean to be non-resistant to what is? To me, it has a lot to do with the “vertical hour”, the feeling of home being now.

 

When I feel unsettled, or somehow not quite in the flow, I realize that in some way, I am in resistance. So I go inside and practice non-resistance to what is. As with all things wise, it is really simple, though takes skill and practice. Here is what I do. Give it a try if you like.

 

Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, if I notice I feel disconnected I immediately pause. I notice that I feel unsettled and begin my non-resistance practice. I start simply, with just looking at my surroundings, and noticing what I see. I just watch, without adding stories to things. For example, I see a tree out the window. I just watch it. I notice the tree, the dancing leaves, the light and the colour. I just notice. Should I hear a car drive by, I just notice it. I hear it drive towards me then pass me. So it is. I notice it.

 

Then I feel my body within my surroundings. If I am sitting, I feel my body on the chair. If I am lying, I feel the weight of my body towards the ground. I just notice how I feel. I notice the softness or hardness of the surface supporting me.

 

Then I draw my attention to my breath. What does it feel like? I breathe in. I breathe out. I move my awareness inward and just notice. I feel the quality of breathing. Is it heavy? Is it light? Is it easy? Is it restricted? What is going on?

 

In this, everything begins to settle and I feel not limited to my thoughts, to the sense of being separate in a body. I begin to feel divisiveness dissolve, replaced by energy, flow and abundance. I feel connected and interconnected. I feel flow. I just stay with that, watching.

 

When I start to think about what I will have for dinner, or if I will get that call, or whatever, I notice I am going into thinking and simply and gently bring my attention back to the feeling of being rooted and expansive, here and now.

 

From this place of expansion, I am guided to the next steps in my life, without having to push, manipulate, fear or control. Life arises in each moment. All is unfolding in balanced perfection. All I have to do it get out of the way and enjoy being here, being now, being home.

 

May all beings feel at home.

May all beings feel home now.

May all beings feel home in all that is.

 

Parvati

 

 

 

Ask Parvati 19: What Is Home? Part 4, Home In The Vertical Hour

 

 

WHAT IS HOME? PART 4: HOME IN THE VERTICAL HOUR

(Continued from What Is Home? Part 3: Inner and Outer Home)

 

There is a song I wrote, that I have yet to produce and release, that expresses what home means to me. In it, I sing: “Home is here. Home is now. There’s gold in the dark, as I bow down…” When I am willing to let go of wanting things to be other than they are, though I may feel in the dark, I bow, in humility to what is, and I find the gold in this moment.

 

The relationship with home that I cultivate in my present life is the eternal home found within this perfect moment. In some of my poetry, I call it the “vertical hour”, when time collapses and I rest in the vastness of the infinite.

 

My most recent blog “To Do Or Not To Do” explored some of these feelings. “Wherever you go, there you are”, says Jon Kabat-Zinn. We may run. We may try to avoid. But no matter where we are physically, we bring our self with us. There is a perfection in all that is when we learn to be with what is, rather than what is not. We find meaning in the fullness of the now, rather than dreams of the past or future.

 

More than ever, I am aware within myself of any places that resist that perfection, that are attached to striving, to doing, to identifying as being separate. Those old thought patterns feel painful to me, as I know in my cells that pushing, divisiveness and wanting only lead to suffering. Instead, I focus on interconnection, on flow, on wholeness, on the fullness, the abundance of what is. I don’t push away old tendencies. I just notice them for what they are and open to what I know to be real.

 

When I am surrendered to the whole, I find a sense of place. That place rests in the vertical hour. It is as though when I let go, open up, look around, my feet naturally reach in to dig into the earth. As a result, I expand. As I feel part of the whole, I find meaning in the now. “What is” then takes on the sense of home.

 

(Continues tomorrow with What Is Home? Part 5: Home In Non-Resistance To What Is)

 

 

Ask Parvati 19: What Is Home? Part 3, Inner and Outer Home

 

WHAT IS HOME? PART 3: INNER AND OUTER HOME

(Continued from What Is Home? Part 2: Home In Meditation and Music)

 

 

If April is the cruelest month, then July is the most gracious. Out in my back garden, I look up to the canopy of leaves of a large maple tree that stands guardian at the back of my house. The sky that peeks through is cloudless and as blue and open as the sea. (Maybe this world is upside down and the ocean is really up there and the sky bordered with sand.)

 

The golden sunlight that shimmers through the fluttering leaves feels like the passing thoughts that trickle through my mind. The scent of the juniper bushes near my resting place is sweet, rich and moist. Water in the fountain splashes into the pond. The water flows like the continual, rhythmic flow of my breath. Birds and baby squirrels keep stopping by to check me out. We connect for a moment until they flutter off. Children’s voices, chirping birds, distant whizzing cars and my neighbour’s murmuring music create a symphony of sounds. This moment feels immense, vast and perfectly home.

 

When I was a child, I felt an inner restlessness. The voice within spoke of something more than what I saw brought others temporary happiness. I found joy in singing, through writing music and creating art. I felt alive in connecting with nature and communing with what I now simply call “the unseen”. I always had a sense that there was more than the material. I wanted to touch it, rest into it and be it – whatever that “it” was.

 

The church I went to called “it” God. To me “it” was everywhere, in the very fabric of life. I feel like it touched “it” and found in it a tremendous sense of home when I was recently in the Arctic traveling a few months ago to the North Pole. I went to sing at the top of the world to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice caps. There I also offered healing and prayers to the planet, our mother Earth, the vibrant living being that sustains us all, that is our home.

 

The feeling of singing at the top of the world remains impressed in me, like a tattoo on my soul. In the midst of the infinitely still desert of crystalline snow dusted over the icy ocean I stood upon, I felt as though the whole world was my home and an attentive audience, quietly listening. As I opened my arms, heart and throat to sing, I felt the world was in my body and I was the world. There was immense quiet, a profound presence and aliveness. The Inuit people I met en route seemed to embody that Arctic quiet wisdom. Being with them and traveling there ignited the spark of a baby Inuit in me. In the Arctic desert, I felt home.

 

I have been quite nomadic for most of my adult life - traveled a lot, seen the world, and enjoyed many varied cultures. As I have learned to “think turtle”, as my last blog discussed, I have learned how to find home wherever I may be, inspired by the turtle that carries its home on its back.

 

At first, home was literally my backpack in which I carried my necessities. But I have learned to put my pack down now and lessen the load I carry. Who is “doing” anyway? As my teacher says, when on a traveling train, why still hold onto your luggage? The train is my life, and I am carried by Life, supported by all that is. I let go.

 

We are in constant motion both metaphorically and literally as vibrant beings. I also move a lot as I travel to tour my music. Being so mobile, I learn to surrender to what is and to serve what is right in front of me. My sense of home now comes from my state of internal being. Not as attached to what is happening on the outside, I see life as receiving me. This moment, like a mother, is waiting at the family home door with open arms.

 

I have traveled outwardly through our colourful world. I have also traveled inwardly through my mind, heart and soul as I explore art and music, and as I develop through my spiritual practices. In some ways I could say that I have traveled both internal and external landscapes searching for a deeper meaning of home. Through loving, sharing, expressing and meditating, I have found a deeper, spiritual meaning of home, one that transcends geography and taps into the transpersonal and timeless, one that exists in the “vertical hour”.

 

(Continues tomorrow with What Is Home? Part 4: Home In The Vertical Hour)

 

Ask Parvati 19: What Is Home? Part 2, Home in Meditation and Music

WHAT IS HOME? PART 2: HOME IN MEDITATION AND MUSIC
(Continued from What Is Home? Part 1: The Home Body)

I feel a surrendered sense of home when I meditate. Quiet, perfect, here, now. Sitting practice has been a huge part of my life, feeding me in ways that are truly hard to describe. Everyday I wake up and open to what is. I practice being. In this, I meet the fullness of the moment that a habituated, busy mind would completely eclipse.

The more I practice, the more alive and the less constricted I feel. It is not a linear thing, but evolves, mysteriously unfolding beyond understanding. Through meditation, the relationship I develop with the now feels like a homecoming. Through the dissolve of divisiveness, I return to the one flow of pure consciousness, eventually able to rest in the One. This practice of non-resistance is home to me and also brings me home to the One.

I also feel a surrendered sense of home when I create music. Similar to meditation, the process of creating feels like it moves through me, not something I am doing. When I meditate, as soon as I notice “wow, I am meditating”, the feeling of expansion collapses. Suddenly there is an “I” that is back in the picture and duality returns.

Similarly, when “I” try to create, the juices don’t flow as effortlessly. But when I align myself to watch the flow, to be in service to it, something vast moves, dances and expresses through this body/being. It is pure vitality and joy. It feels like life itself. It is living. It is home. It is.

I have similar feelings when I perform. Though there is always a threshold I need to move through before I get on stage, when performing, life is. The threshold I move though is a form of ego surrender. It is like jumping off a cliff, to find you have wings. In the surrender, there is the death of a divisive self that thinks it is in control, giving birth to a timeless being. In this way, performing is a meditation.

As I meditate, I either witness inner resistance or expand into the bliss of letting go. When I step out on stage, I face that same letting go. In that letting go, I find home. As I perform, there is a sense of something moving through me that is so much greater, broader than a limited sense of “me”. It is like my body is dancing. My voice is singing. My soul is expressing. I am joy. I just am. My mind open, quiet, focused, present. Performing is very much home for me.

The character I play in my show is called Natamba. Clad in gold, like the light of pure consciousness, Natamba brings the timeless message: “Be Here. I Am. Now.” As I step into the costume, I feel a transformation take place. Something expands. Something downloads. Something aligns. The character Natamba represents home to me, the feeling of expressing a more expanded self. That is part of my joy of art and theatre. On stage, I can express timeless truths. Those truths are home to me.

I believe we each find home in things that give us meaning, that make us feel connected to something much greater than our selves. We find home when we love, when we share. Home lives in a transcendent place, beyond “me”. True home lives in “I am”. When we touch the infinite, we have touched home.

(Continues tomorrow with What Is Home? Part 3: Inner and Outer Home)

Ask Parvati 19: What Is Home? - Part 1, The Home Body

 

WHAT IS HOME?

 

Dear Parvati, I have traveled a lot and found many places to be beautiful, inspiring, even places I thought I could call home. But I feel I have not found home yet. Or maybe, I don’t really know what home means. I was curious, what does home mean to you?

 

WHAT IS HOME? PART 1: THE HOME BODY

 

Home means many things to me. As far as I can remember, I have felt like the world was my home. I speak several languages and feel comfortable in many cultures, with varied people. Perhaps it is no coincidence that my name is Parvati, daughter of the earth. I feel very connected to this planet in a cellular, soulful and spiritual way.

 

I am not much of a homebody, in that I have traveled a lot and lived out of a backpack for much of my adult life. But I could say that one way I find home is in my body, my body being a temporary place of inhabitation while I am in this world. I feel that this body is part of it all, connected to everything. It is made of the very stuff that makes up all matter. So for me, literally, my home is the world.

 

We have all heard the saying, “home is where the heart is”. Home is where we feel belonging. Where we feel accepted, whole, understood, received, grounded and alive. While I had friends over at my home last month, I was arrested by a momentary “a-ha!” when everything felt absolutely perfect. I felt completely supported, loved and accepted as though everything was in its perfect place. I felt profoundly at home.

 

Our birthplace may be home, where we have memories from our childhood, where our foundations were built. Montreal is my birthplace and is definitely my hometown. When I travel there with those that know me now, not then, I am told that I express a freedom and expansion in Montreal that is evident. My body language changes. I feel more relaxed. There is something in the air, in the light on the streets and buildings, in people’s attitudes, in the way we interact that just says, “home” to me - deeply.

 

I feel similar feelings about speaking French. It is, I say, the language of my heart and home has a lot to do with the heart. When I get tired, I have been known to just start speaking French, without even noticing I am doing so. People have also noticed how my personality changes when I speak French. I feel like an inner part of me comes alive. English for me is a more cerebral language, more practical and touching a place of worldliness. French reaches in to touch my emotions and reveals another inner world with greater ease.

 

No matter how many times I leave Canada, nor how many amazing connections and adventures I have abroad, somehow coming back always feels like home. I am not just saying this because it is Canada Day weekend! There is something about the trees, the air and the land that just says home.

 

Surely this has to do with the familiar. I have spent most of my life in Canada. There is something about familiarity that breeds the feeling of home. Familiarity feels grounding and stabilizing. Upon what else would a home be built?

 

We may find home in the familiar. We may find home in our sense of place and accomplishments that we achieve at work. We may find home in family, landscape, territories and feelings of patriotism. These may add a sense of purpose, belonging and meaning to our life.

 

However much I find home in something physical, there is something deeper that brings a true feeling of home to me. One way I touch the feeling of home and find meaning in my life is through my meditation practice and my creative work. In those, I rest in a timeless home not bound by borders or bodies. There I am.

 

(Continues tomorrow with What Is Home? Part 2: Home In Meditation and Music)

 

Ask Parvati 5: How To Begin Meditating

How To Begin Meditating

March 27, 2011

Thank you for this week’s questions. This week, we take a look at the power of meditation.

As part of the blog this week, I include a guided visualization for Japan. When I launched my new online store at http://www.PositivePossibilities.com/ last weekend, I led a meditation for Japan, which I recorded. Please join us in sending the people of Japan and our planet much-needed healing. The meditation is posted here. Please forward the link to whomever you think may be interested.

To get your question in for next week's blog, please send it to ask@parvatidevi.com by Thursday, March 31.

Sending prayers for deep peace,

Parvati

The power of meditation

Dear Parvati,

I have been considering starting a meditation practice, but I'm not sure where or how to begin. Can you please share how you began meditating, and how I might go about getting started?

Thank you for your question. The topic of meditation is very dear to me. It is something that fuels my life. I would even say it is the foundation to all that I do. It is a deepening, ongoing process that continues to teach me the true value of learning to fully live and love.

I first saw the effects of meditation when my grandmother walked out of her room after her quiet time. She seemed bigger, taller, more luminous than ever. The light that emanated from her seemed to make her ageless. I was only six at the time, so through my child’s eyes, I saw a truth that has stayed with me ever since.

When I was ten, I saw a friend’s mother come out of her yoga room after her practice with that same glow. There was a magic surrounding her, a peacefulness and a vitality, something that just said “yes” to my heart and soul. I wanted THAT.

My grandmother was not a religious person, nor one who had an easy life. In fact, through the war, she was struck with a mysterious illness diagnosed as terminal, with a husband off at war and three children under the age of ten to feed. Somehow she just knew, faced with all of that stress and uncertainty, that all she could do was lay herself down, go to bed and give her whole life over to God.

She was in bed for a year, during which her life completely changed. As she made that choice to let go, a woman she had never met before came knocking at the door of her tiny wartime house asking if she could have room and board in exchange for housekeeping. This woman's need was an answer to my grandmother's prayer. As my grandmother said “yes” to her health and vitality, a surrogate mother appeared to care for her children while she healed.

It was during that year that my grandmother started to, as she would say, “listen to her Maker”. Every morning once she rose, she spent an hour, sitting upright, eyes closed, going within, quietly listening. She did that every day, without fail. It was her way of connecting, tapping into the power of life and finding unspoken direction for her day.

All religions that I have been exposed to speak of the need to connect within to touch the true potency of life. Each practice is slightly different, but all seem to point to unifying truths: We are connected to a force beyond our ego. We are interconnected through that force to all things. We realize our connection to that force through a surrendered process that is beyond what we can intellectually comprehend or control.

Just as there are many religions, there are many meditation practices. A meditation practice, in that way, is personally rooted in order to touch the transpersonal. One must find their own way in, a way that suits their personality and temperament. I have most knowledge of Buddhist, Hindu and Christian meditation practices, so my practice stems from my relationship with sacred sound and stillness. As I mention in the bio on the sidebar of this blog, I have always felt that my way in is through the symphonic quiet of Nature and the stillness in all that is.


I have found that for me, the IAM technique (Integrated Amrita Meditation) offered by my guru Mata Amritanandamayi Devi of South India, also known as Amma or the Hugging Saint, is the most potent and comprehensive meditation technique that I have tried. As such, it forms the foundation of my personal practice, in which I also include daily an extensive beingness meditation practice that focuses on mantra (sacred syllables given by a realized master) and mindfulness breathing.

I feel that meditation is my medication. It’s my way of tapping into what is real, important and eternal. And as such, it treats and heals a misperception that we have as humans: that we are in some way separate from all that is. So the practice of meditation is like developing a new consciousness muscle in which our awareness is focused on the vastness of possibility, rather than the seduction of the temporal.

For a yogi, concentration is the first step to a meditation practice. I often hear people say that meditation is the stilling of the mind. I also hear people say that they cannot get their mind to stop, so they can’t meditate. Yet it is the nature of the mind to be busy. Through the practice of meditation, eventually one transcends that busy mind and touches and exists within the quiet, open, vast universal mind, the all-seeing mind, a vast field of pure potentiality. Meditation is the state of absorption upon which one concentrates. In a deeply meditative state, there is no “me” or “other”, but a oneness flow that returns the perception of individuality to the pure state of undivided consciousness.

There are two primary forms of meditation practice: those that are convergent, that help the mind focus, and those that are divergent, those that help the mind open and expand. The end result is the same, the transcendence of the mind, but the means are different. A convergent practice would be the Zen practice of focusing on a phrase, such as the sound of one hand clapping. The focus on something that transcends reason eventually exhausts the mind’s desire to divide and control and breaks the habitual field of awareness into new states of consciousness. A common divergent practice is a Buddhist vipassana practice that focuses on the breath. The breath is vast and expansive in nature, so by focusing on it, the practitioner can touch realms that exist beyond the limits of sense perception and physical attachment.

Some meditators are more visual and rely more on using the mind’s ability to create and invoke divine states or scenes. Others are more sensate and prefer to stay with feelings and physical sensations. There is no right or wrong way. You must do that which works for you. To find out what suits your temperament, try different techniques for a short while and eventually choose one. Choosing one practice is very important. As I said earlier, it is the nature of the mind to be busy, and a meditation practice is to develop the skill to move beyond the mind, so we don't want our busy mind to be restlessly seeking out a “perfect" practice that will bring instant bliss. There is no such thing. Meditation practice is exactly that, a practice. You get out of it what you put in. So sticking with one is really key to the success of your practice. And again, remember, it is the nature of the mind to be distracted, so there will be a curious hunger within that will come and try to distract you once the going gets a bit rough. Stick with it. Having many meditation practices is like digging many shallow holes in the ground, whereas sticking with one practice is like digging one deep well that will eventually strike water.

CONCENTRATION EXERCISE

Here is an example of a concentration exercise you could do. It is a classical practice from hatha yoga, called Trataka, which means “to look” or “to gaze”.

1. Find a quiet and relaxed environment, one that is away from the busyness of your life. It could be a separate room, or it could be a quiet corner of a room. Choose a spot where you feel safe and relaxed, that is not your bed.

2. Sit upright, either on the floor or on a chair. It is best to sit free from any back rest such as the wall or the back of a chair. You can sit on a cushion and/or prop your legs with cushions as needed so that your hips and spine feel as relaxed and as supported as possible.

3. Light a tall candle or raise a shorter candle (not a tea light) so that the golden flame is about at the level of your eyes.

4. Gaze at the flame with relaxed, focused eyes, without blinking. Keep your eyes open, even if they begin to tear.

5. When you feel the need to close your eyes, do so and keep them closed. While your eyes are closed, you will still see the image of the flame. Focus now on this for as long as you can, until it is no longer visible. While you are focusing on that gold flame, feel that you are the gold flame, that you are internalizing the gold light.

6. Open your eyes again, and return your gaze to the flame as in Step 4. Repeat steps 4 through 6 for about ten minutes.

7. After ten minutes, conclude the practice by keeping your eyes closed, taking three long breaths, feeling the energy of that gold light in your spine and your whole being, and give thanks inwardly for this practice.

MEDITATION PRACTICE

Here is a basic breathing practice you can do.

1. Find a quiet and relaxed environment, one that is away from the busyness of your life. It could be a separate room, or it could be a quiet corner of a room. Choose a spot where you feel safe and relaxed, that is not your bed.

2. Sit upright, either on the floor or on a chair. It is best to sit free from any back rest such as the wall or the back of a chair. You can sit on a cushion and/or prop your legs with cushions as needed so that your hips and spine feel as relaxed and as supported as possible.

3. Close your eyes and bring your awareness to the crown of your head, and slowly scan through your whole body. Over the course of about one minute, begin at the crown, move through the face to the top of the spine at the base of the skull, through the neck, shoulders, arms, ribs, lungs, belly, pelvis, sitting bones, legs and feet. Allow yourself to feel rooted. Then return your awareness to the crown of your head while maintaining a rooted feeling through the sitting bones, so that you feel through your spine the rootedness in the pelvis that connects you to the ground, and the lightness through the crown that connects you to the sky.

4. Bring your full attention to your breath. Begin to notice the details of the mechanics of breathing, such as your lungs expanding when you inhale, and contracting when you exhale. Notice the muscles involved. Notice any tension that’s there. Notice any expansive feelings.

5. Begin to become aware of the sensation of breathing, the feeling of the air moving through the lungs, allowing yourself to relax with this process, keeping your mind both relaxed and focused on the breath.

6. When you notice your mind wandering onto random thoughts, gently allow your awareness to return to your breath.

Repeat this process for two to five minutes, for a beginner.

It is best to choose a length of time during which you can maintain your focus, rather than choosing a time that is too long, where you become overly distracted and lose the practice. It is much better to do two minutes of meditation with focus than to do thirty minutes without focus.

TIPS

- Meditation is a discipline and is best seen as such. Regularity and consistency yield maximum results.

- It is ideal to choose the same place and time of day to do your practice. However, that is not an excuse not to do your practice. Any time is the right time to practice.

- Set a timer so that you don’t feel tempted to watch the clock.

- Avoid the immediate urge to talk or get busy right after the practice. Allow there to be a transition for a few minutes.

- It is best not to meditate on a full stomach. The ideal is to meditate after bathing and before breakfast.

- It is of tremendous benefit to meditate under the guidance of a true master. I list a few in the references section.

- No two sits will be the same. That in itself is part of the practice, for you to let go of expectation and keep doing the practice. A meditation practice is not goal-oriented, but an organic, surrendered unfolding that slowly reveals one’s true nature.

- It is very important to stay connected and present in your body, and not space out. Meditation is not leaving your body, but developing tremendous relaxed presence in the face of whatever may arise.

- Meditation is not a happiness pill. During a meditation practice, one will become aware of uncomfortable, even painful aspects of oneself. This is natural and healthy and not to be feared. By giving ourselves the space to witness them, and by being present with them as they arise, we are giving ourselves the gift of true freedom and the opportunity to permanently cease suffering.

- During any meditation, you may experience periods of elation or periods of distress. It is very important not to become attached or identified with, nor resistant to, any experience, and to just continue doing the practice.

REFERENCES

For your reference, these are links to some books and spiritual centers and teachers that have touched me in some way:

Masters:

Amma: www.amma.org and www.ammacanada.ca/toronto

Insight Meditation Society: http://www.dharma.org

Pema Chodron: http://www.gampoabbey.org

Dalai Lama: http://www.dalailama.com

Shambhala Center: www.shambhala.org

Thich Nhat Hanh: http://www.plumvillage.org/

Texts:

Buddhism:

Kornfield, Jack, A PATH WITH HEART - A GUIDE THROUGH THE PERILS AND PROMISES OF SPIRITUAL LIFE, (Bantam, 1993)

Chodron, Pema, START WHERE YOU ARE, (Shambhala)

Chodron, Pema, WHEN THINGS FALL APART: HEART ADVICE FOR DIFFICULT TIMES, (Shambhala 1997)

H. H. The Dalai Lama, THE ART OF HAPPINESS, (Riverhead, 1998)

H.H. The Dalai Lama, AN OPEN HEART: PRACTICING COMPASSION IN EVERYDAY LIFE, (Little, Brown, 2001)

Eppsteiner, Fred, editor, THE PATH OF COMPASSION: WRITINGS ON SOCIALLY ENGAGED BUDDHISM, (Parallax, 1988)

Goldstein, Joseph, INSIGHT MEDITATION, (Shambhala)

Hayward, Jeremy, SACRED WORLD, (Bantam, 1995)

Kabat-Zinn, Jon, FULL CATASTROPHE LIVING, (Delta, 1990)

Kabat-Zinn, Jon, WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE, (Hyperion, 1994)

Nhat-Hanh, Thich, THE MIRACLE OF MINDFULNESS, (Beacon, 1975)

Nhat-Hanh, Thich, TOUCHING PEACE, (Parallax, '92)

Nhat-Hanh, Thich, PEACE IS EVERY STEP, (Bantam, 1991)

Salzberg, Sharon, LOVING KINDNESS, (Shambhala Press)

Trungpa, Chogyam, CUTTING THROUGH SPIRITUAL MATERIALISM, (Shambhala, 1973)

Christianity:

Fox, Matthew, A SPIRITUALITY NAMED COMPASSION, (Harper & Row, 1990)

O’Brien, Justin, A MEETING OF MYSTIC PATHS, YOGA AND CHRISTIANITY (Yes International Publishers, 1996)

Hinduism:

Mata Amritanandamayi, CONVERSATIONS WITH MATA AMRITANANDAMAYI Volume 1-9, (M. A. Center, 1986)

Swami Amritaswarupananda, AMMACHI: A BIOGRAPHY

OF MATA AMRITANANDAMAYI, (M. A. Center, 1994)

Hixon, Lex, Great Swan: MEETINGS WITH RAMAKRISHNA,

(Larson Publications, 1997)

Swami Vivekananda, LIVING AT THE SOURCE, (Shambhala)

Satyananda Saraswati, MEDITATIONS FROM THE TANTRAS, (Bihar School of Yoga, Bhargava Bhushnan Press, 1983)

Paramahansa Yogananda, AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI,

(Self-Realization Fellowship, 2006)

Contemporary:

Ford, Debbie, THE DARK SIDE OF THE LIGHT CHASERS, (Riverhead Books, 1998)

Grof, Stanislav and Christina, THE STORMY SEARCH FOR SELF, (Harper Collins, 1991)

Muller, Wayne, LEGACY OF THE HEART: The Spiritual Advantage of a Painful Childhood (Fireside, 1993)

North Pole Journey: Day Four, Part Five - Healing at the Top of the Earth

 

Day Four: Sunday September 26, 2010

Part Five

HEALING HAPPENS IN THE UNSEEN

Healing work happens in the unseen. It is a process of becoming still and surrendered, enough so that we align with a much greater truth, beyond our limited ego or will. In that state, we move from a monochrome, black and white reality to what I call ‘hyper-real’, a tapestry of technicolour possibilities and infinite, co-creative abundance.

I have been privy to extraordinary and exceptional grace over the years, witnessing profound beauty emerge and be born from this state. It seems that the breadth of our human potential goes largely untouched. In the compressed, me-me-me centered rush of our busy, self-absorbed lives, we unconsciously play out old stories we developed as children and from times now long gone.

Here, in this place of vast Arctic immensity, surrounded in all directions by kilometers of pristine, crisp, absolute white snow and ice, I am acutely aware of what most of us, as a human species, are missing: the magnitude and magnificence of this moment. Everything lies there within, a place of infinite potentiality, void of all wants, the fulfillment of our deepest longings, loves and desires.

Faced with this expanse, there is nothing I can do now but bow to the Supreme Consciousness that is beyond comprehension, that defies understanding. It is this compassionate and wise life force that permeates and pulsates through all living things – the force of our universe and beyond - that of which I am made.

The technicalities of our video shoot seem far in the past. As we return to our airplane, our pilots share good news. We do not need to pitch a tent on this frigid ice. While we were shooting the performance footage, they located a wind shelter, courtesy of Parks Canada, that we can use.

We move through the snow that lay between the plane and shelter with single-minded focus. We enter a small cabin that is surprisingly sound. Equipped with a butane stove to cut through the fierce chill, it is has solid flooring, walls and a roof. It seems that the angels continue to grace our mission to serve all beings and our planet Earth at the North Pole.

HEALING THE EARTH AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD

In monk-like quiet, Sunanda pulls out from beneath her Arctic wear a book that she, Rishi and I very much respect. It contains the Lalita Sahasranama, Sanskrit prayers to the Divine Mother. We have traveled over 3000 miles (5000 kilometres) to chant these ancient prayers and make this offering to the Earth at the top of the world. The Earth is our Mother. She provides us with life and sustains us. But now, due to human ignorance, she is in distress. May our offerings serve in some way to alleviate suffering for all.

Sunanda turns on a recording of a monk chanting these sacred words. She attentively joins in. Rishi and I enter deeply into a meditative state. This is a setting I can use, a gift I have had since I was a child. As one Vedic astrologer said to me, I have a very strong relationship with the unseen. With my eyes closed, and with no attachment or agenda other than to serve the highest good, I begin non-verbal communication with unseen presences, energies as alive as that which are in flesh. In this, a transformative process begins to unfold.

Feeling cradled by the penetrative sound of the Sanskrit chanting, I let go and expand. In this field of possibility, I become witness to a rearranging and clearing that takes place all around us that we cannot see. We are far from alone.

Just as the North Pole is a dumping ground for our world’s physical pollution, I now see that it is also a dumping ground for the psychic pollution in the thoughts of humanity. I watch as energies shift, move, clear, reveal and disappear. All of life is unfolding, arising and falling - first in the unseen, then in the seen.

As I allow my body to be a physical conduit for the Earth (matter from which this body is made) to the unseen (source from which I am), an alchemical process unfolds within the next two hours. As witness, I see first a clearing of the space, which include evicting a variety of energies, then opening a gateway for benevolent Cosmic Intelligence energies so they may provide healing support for the living organism, the Planet Earth.

From deep within this meditative state, I am shaken. The pilots summon my attention. We have at most 20 minutes until we must be on the plane to make it back safely.

Sunanda concludes her second round of the Lalita Sahasranama, the thousand names of the Divine Mother, as I begin to bring my full awareness back to the physical reality of this Earthly shelter. As I open my eyes, I see that my breath still creates frost, despite our little heater hard at work. My body is dusted with black soot from the camphor we have been burning continuously.

The pilots encourage us to the cabin door. It opens and reveals dusk light. We must make our way back to the plane and begin our journey across the British Empire mountain range over Ellesmere Island, Nunavut, heading southbound back to Resolute Bay. We still have a four-hour flight until we are back to safety.

Once on board our tiny sea otter plane, I feel elation. Surprisingly not exhausted by the already twelve-hour day in extreme conditions, all I see outside the plane window is Nature shining. It seems She is very pleased. I sense all of creation singing joyfully.

Though the sun was almost gone from view, hidden behind the Earth’s surface, the world, the universe, feels lighter, bright and more expansive. In the sky, on the journey here, a strange, sharp, sparkling, golden light seemed to follow us. When I looked at it then, all I could think was that it was angel Ariel supporting us, with us, present.

Now en route back, a similar otherworldly light fills the sky, this time surrounded by rainbow colours of the setting sun. It is clear to me that we have succeeded in this mission to support healing the planet. It is clear to me that this trip, from beginning to end, is Grace, orchestrated from far beyond, and so much bigger than us all.