Ask Parvati 17: Standing Your Ground, Part 2: Standing Sacred Ground

PART TWO: STANDING SACRED GROUND

(Continued from: Fathers Lead Us Into The World)

Fathers teach us how to make the lives we want. Our mothers teach us how to feel. The feminine principle teaches us surrendered receptivity, learning to flow within the whole. Cradled within the big picture and the spiritual presence of the cosmos, we learn that our own voice is a valuable and integral part of the whole.

The male principle teaches us surrendered action, learning the whole within the flow. Rooted in a healthy sense self, our fathers must teach us about the whole, the way we fit into the universe. But what is that whole? From a worldly perspective, it is institutions, organized religions, big business, government and corporations. From a spiritual perspective, it is the notion that we are not temporal beings, but one with eternal consciousness temporarily living within finite form.

When we feel attacked, we tend to defend, because we feel attached to the idea of mine. Yet, the idea of mine only exists when we feel separate from the whole. I am not suggesting that healthy boundaries should not exist. On the contrary, it is only from the vantage point of a healthy sense of self that we can begin to feel the confidence to let go of the grip of our ego, the tendency of our mind to divide. Healthy self-esteem, self-love and self-confidence are not born out of feeling separate, but from a sense of our sacred place within the whole.

When we stand our ground, we are not asked to defend our sense of attacked self. In truth, there is no-thing to defend. When we truly stand our ground, we are rooted in the sacred. We are aware of the flow within the whole and the whole within the flow. We are rooted in our truth. We see our truth within the context of the situation. We are open to the wisdom of the whole that arises from within our gut, in our hearts, in our being in each moment.

Let’s look again at the relationship between our feet and the ground. If we were asked how we walk, we would say, likely that we don’t know and give a quick answer that we just put one foot in front of the other. We again, could all agree that is how walking happens. Or is it? What is it that walks? What is it that creates the impulse to move? What force moves through us to walk, to stand, to breathe, to speak, to think, to be?

All that is exists because of grace. All that transpires and continues on does so because of grace. Our job is to stop trying to control, to distort things to suit our ego and get out of the way so that we may witness our interconnection within the divine play. In this, profound joy arises and we experience freedom beyond anything we could possible conjure or buy.

We are attached to “mine” at the expense of our fuller, truer self. We are attached to feeling attacked at the expense of what is. I learned from experience, with a little help years ago from the Opossum card I kept pulling from David Carson’s medicine deck, that sometimes the best defense is no defense. In this way, we avoid getting caught up in the drama of life and learn to deepen our practice witnessing, in non-resistance, what is.

When you next feel that you need to stand your ground, see if you can remain open, relaxed, rooted and expansive. From this vantage point, remember that things are not “happening to you”. You are no victim but are perfectly supported and are given all you need in each moment to perfectly learn. From this vantage point, watch your reactions rise and fall away.

If you feel confronted by someone, watch what that person is doing, as though you were watching a cloud move through the sky. “Yes. There it is. So it is.” See that person as he or she is. How is he tense, scared, honest, loving, brave? Can you feel the goodness within the other in this moment, speaking through him to you? Is he really against you or is he offering you an opportunity to see a much bigger picture and live rooted in that reality?

(Continues tomorrow: Witness, Release)

Ask Parvati 17: Standing Your Ground, Part 1: Fathers Lead Us Into The World

Ask Parvati 17: STANDING YOUR GROUND

Dear Parvati,

Lately the term “standing your ground” has been sounding in my ears a lot. I am trying to make sense of this, as I feel that it can connote a sort of defiance, which does not resonate with what I am discovering for myself in my yoga practice. What do you think when you hear the term “standing your ground”?

PART ONE: FATHERS LEAD US INTO THE WORLD

Happy Father’s Day! Today I celebrate the inner male within all, whether you are a man or a woman, whether you have children or not.

Our fathers teach us how to go out in the world, equipped with the sense of capability to make the lives we want. Their strength and confidence in us inspires us to believe that we can achieve what we put our minds to accomplish. If mothers teach us about our inner world, showing us how to feel safe and loved as we are, fathers lead us into the outer world, with the confidence and ability to flourish within society. Whether or not we had the parents we wanted, as we evolve, we learn to internalize the positive attributes of both the male and female energies so that we may live in fulfilled balance.

Commonly we see our ability to act in the world as a reflection of a strong sense of personal identity. We are encouraged to believe that we are capable, so that we can accomplish what we set out to do. We are told that if we are fixed strongly enough in our sense of self, like a mini Fort Knox, we are able to stay intact in the face of all external adversity. The notion of capability is essential for living a healthy, fulfilled life. But happiness rests on more than the sense that we can do what we want to do.

THE GROUND BENEATH OUR FEET

We stand on solid earth. The ground beneath us feels thick, deep and strong. We speak of standing our ground when we feel shaken by adversity or attack. We stand our ground to defend what feels like our own, to lay claim to territory and our sense of propriety.

Most of us take millions of steps every day. One foot goes automatically in front of the other as we go from point A to point B. Yet we tend to take each step for granted. Each step is a relationship between our body and our planet. If we paused for a moment and asked ourselves, we might describe that relationship as a force we apply into the ground so that we can stand.

When we go deeper and explore the relationship between our feet and the Earth, we see that there is a co-creative relationship at play. Go ahead. Give it a try. Leave your computer now and go for a slow walk around your room. See what you notice between your body, your feet and the ground. How do your feet contact the floor? What dynamic is at play? What is the relationship between your feet and the ground?

Did you do it? If yes, we likely could all agree that as you place your feet on the ground, there is a force that presses from the weight of your body into the ground.

Now give the exercise another go. This time, go deeper. What else is going on?

If you become quiet, you will see that there is also a force that arises from the ground to perfectly meet the weight you apply. It is like the force of the planet knows with calculated anticipation where you will step and what you need for each step to feel solid and complete. It is like there is a safety net under each step, rebounding your weight right back up through your legs, through your spine and up and out the crown of your head.

See if you can sense that perfection in each step. Go ahead. Give it another try. Slow down your walking and see what you feel. Do you feel the unconditional, loving embrace of the world in each step, offering perfect support? Breathe it in and know you are perfectly loved. You are love.

(Continues tomorrow: Standing Sacred Ground)