Video blogs from the Arctic

Om Namah Shivaya,

This is Pranada posting on Parvati's behalf. Parvati, Rishi and Sunanda are now in Resolute, Nunavut. They weren't expecting to have Internet access, but they must have found some. Here is a couple of video blogs taken while their plane was refuelling between Iqaluit and Resolute.








Mother Earth is calling. We have the choice to listen, and answer.

Listening to the Call

LISTENING TO THE CALL

Unseen Saints

Many people throughout the world each day perform miracles, unseen, unheard, unnoticed and often unappreciated. The more I mature, the more I feel anyone who is a mother or parent is somewhat of a saint, faced with the immense challenges of rearing a child in a hurried, demanding world. The continual call for patience and ever deepening love when faced with the many challenges that one would never have imagined pre-parenting, may seem beyond one’s ability. When in front of a screaming, needing child, a mother or parent is asked to transcend their limited perceptions of the moment and go beyond the immediate sense of me and mine to a place of interconnection, shared compassion and fluid, selfless service. And there are other people who quietly help someone cross the street or without hesitation jump into action when they come suddenly upon a crisis. The basic goodness of the human soul thrives, despite our collective history laced with brutality and immense tragedy. What is it that calls us to action, when perhaps few understand or when we feel challenged to move beyond our sense of personal limit? What speaks to us within our heart that provides unseen energy to overcome immense obstacles and adversity?

Poverty in Body, Spirit and Love

The challenge to take a trip to the North Pole is no great heroic journey, when I look at the transcendent courage in people all over the world who struggle to get through even just today without basic needs such as food, water and shelter. I have participated over the years in many charitable organizations to help feed the hungry and give money to the poor. I have touched this need. I have seen the broken look in the eyes of those living on the street, desperate for things we in the West take for granted.

And the amount of suffering on the planet goes well beyond that. There are those who tell themselves they have it all, and yet daily struggle trying to fill a deep, dark hole in their soul that only increases, leaving them feeling lifeless, on the verge of suicide. There are those that feel lost and do not know their own magnificence. There are those that have not yet awakened to who they truly are, feeling they must do things the way others tell them to, silencing their inner voice, dimming their unique light. This too is a kind of poverty and hunger, a poverty of spirit that is rampant on the planet at this time.

The more I awaken spiritually, the more I feel a deep interconnection with all. This, at one level, allows me to feel immense joy, vast energy and an inner wealth like no thing material could ever give. I also feel more aware of the suffering, the grief and the disconnect within people on the planet at this time. The more the voice of I AM awakens within me, the more I hear the planet speak, the more I hear Her children, us all, cry, in need. In addition to the poverty in body and spirit in our world today, there is tremendous poverty of love.

Before The Journey Begins

Before I considered committing to the North Pole journey, I hesitated. My only concern was, could the money required not be better spent to feed the hungry and shelter the poor? I could think only of that, to the point that it became a bit of a personal roadblock to the unfolding journey I was being called to walk. I had to look inside, sit myself down in meditation, and go deeper, deeper, deeper into the heart of the gnawing, restless question.

After a few days in this practice, I began to open and see a whole new reality. I began to see that I would not be using money from a singular, finite source of money that somehow had a hold on all money in the world. I realized there is no shortage of money on the planet. But there is shortage of consciousness, not because consciousness is not here, but because our receptors are backed up, busy listening to other channels. If we were open receptors, abundance in all ways would be among us.

I also began to see myself more clearly in the picture, the Self that is connected to the abundance of all that is. I saw that I could spend, if I had it, billions of dollars towards world famine and still, famine would be there. Not to say we must not all do all we can to ensure all beings have the food, shelter and love they need. On the contrary. This is my single and primary intention in all I do: serve. What I saw is that the money I would spend on the trip to the North Pole to facilitate healing on the Earth herself and help raise awareness to the ecological impact of the melting polar cap is my way of contributing to easing both the seen and unseen poverty of body, spirit and heart on the planet at this time. What is the root of suffering? People feeling attached and disconnected. If we all felt connected to the infinite source of love, we all would be in service to each other, selflessly. There would be no more poverty in body, spirit or heart.

The Unique Voice of the Call

Some people build houses. Some people bake bread. Some people give medicine to the sick, some counsel the grieving and some make lots of money to give to those in need. The most direct and effective way I can offer healing has always been through sound and energy-work in the unseen. This is my voice. This is something I can do. This is the Divine at work through me. I do not have the rough hands of a carpenter or the skilled touch of a surgeon. I do work that bricklayers, counsellors and medical doctors cannot. In expressing my unique voice, my unique talents, I am part of the solution.

The money I spend on this trip provides a means to touch the energy of millions of people around the globe. This is my way to reach out. If I were to silence this voice that rumbles deep within, I would not be listening to the call of the Mother. For some, the call comes in a direct message, spoken from the lips of their spiritual teacher. For some, the message comes through synchronicity, life events that guide us to act, showing us how, when, where and why. For some it comes not from the lips of physical counsel but through dreams, meditations and spoken through the unseen in clear, unshakable Knowing. Those who understand the unseen are tested through it. The tests of life cultivate unshakable faith, knowing that we are the daughters and sons of She, shown through whatever means She best knows we need to learn.

The bricklayer knows how to pour the correct portions to create strong cement. The doctor knows what medicines will save lives. The musician creates music that inspires and emits sounds that heal. The healer knows how life-force moves through all to help release obstructions in the unseen. We all can listen to the call in whatever form it comes to us. At its root, it is always expansive, even if it feels scary. There are no differing voices, just differing languages. I hear Her call. If I were to silence this voice, it would be a crime against Nature Herself, the very essence of which I am.

May all beings be free. May all be well. May all be happy. May all be at peace.

Lokah Samasthah Sukhino Bhavanthu

Jai Ma,

Parvati

The Ancient Voice of the Mother

The Ancient Voice of the Mother


I feel an immense force carrying me. She speaks to me in the quiet spaces between my breaths in an ancient voice I have known forever. I surrendered to Her, years ago, and lifetimes before. The tides are strong, stronger still, unstoppable, eternal. She is everywhere and always. Each day, in my sitting meditation practice, I empty myself more deeply to Her. Then I practice throughout the day, seeing all as Her Grace, pure consciousness arising.



As I work through the many layers, seen, unseen and unforeseen for this trip to the North Pole, I practice direct speed of body and open, quiet mind. Through emptiness, there is purification, a total surrender to that which already is and always has been…a vast, expansive perfection. I am not the doer. She is the guide, the life-force and the form through which all occurs. She is the healing we are to facilitate and the body for it. A voice beyond me, of us all, of the Mother, of I AM calls so that we may remember who we are, so that we may return home to the One.

Healthy Planet, Healthy People

I am about to embark on a journey to the North Pole. For those of you who know me as a singer/producer, I will do a performance-art piece on the icy shores of the Arctic Ocean just 200km south of the 90 degrees North Pole, to help raise awareness of the melting polar ice caps and the global impact on our delicate ecosystem. For those of you who know me as a healer, I will also facilitate energy work directly on our Mother Earth, very much in stress at this time.

Through my blogs, we have been exploring the power of relationships as vehicles for spiritual evolution. We have touched upon the notion of how all we see is a reflection our own state of consciousness. There are no coincidences, but absolute perfection arising from one moment to the next. Our external world provides all we need to wake up, to love ourselves, to love others and to be fully receptive to this moment and the richness is has to offer, in whatever form it comes. Right here, right now, we have all we need to drop the sorry story and awaken I AM.

The relationships we have explored have been with ourselves and with people. All the same principles apply to the relationship we have with the Earth, our mother, our physical home and sustainer while we are in human form. The bodies we temporarily borrow and the material land, air, water, fire and ether we need to live are all part of Her. She is all matter, our mother. We are connected to her in a very practical, life-sustaining way and in a deeply mystical, spiritual way.

LIFE FORCE ENERGY

I feel the global ecological crisis is a wake up call for us all, a call to awaken I AM, the magnificence of who we are. The planet reflects how we collectively treat ourselves, each other and our environment. A collective is only as strong as its individuals. If we want to change our environment, we need to transform ourselves.

What happens most of the time when you yell at someone? If you could see it in slow motion, you would see that person shrivel and close. If you could see energy, you would see that person’s energy shrink and their light fade.

What would happen if we were to yell at a flower? Would it too not shrink, shrivel and fade? Scientific studies have shown that plants respond to sound, much the way humans do. Play repeated, loud, harmful sounds with harsh vibrations to a plant and it literally dies. Play it pleasant, soothing, inspiring sounds and it thrives.

Thoughts are also vibrations. When we think angry thoughts, we emit that vibration. We all know the expression “my ears are burning”: the implied consequences of gossip and the heat of ego being expressed about another.

To me, metaphorically, the planet is like a huge, expanding and evolving flower. It is a complex living organism with intelligence, sense and wisdom beyond what we can truly know and understand. It continually responds to the energy we put out and we respond to it. As such our environment is a huge mirror to our collective state of global consciousness.

Throughout the world at this time, many people are consciously or unconsciously driven by fear and greed, living with short-term desires to get rather than give and serve. Most of us are taught to look out for “me”, rather than think about and care for “we”. In my song 911-1-L-O-V-E, which I hope to perform at the North Pole, the character I play called Natamba, a first timer to the Earth, picks up the phone and calls God to share what she sees on the planet: “A lot of people seem to be suffering. The air is more polluted than ever. Clean drinking water is scarce. People are hungry, hungry for food, but also very much hungry for love. So hungry in fact that there seems to be an epidemic, a disease called greed eating people’s souls. It is like people have forgotten who they are and why they are here on the planet, driven by an energy of wanting, wanting, wanting, living with short-term vision, looking out only for number one. People’s inner world seems polluted so our outer world is polluted.”

Most of us do not know or care how our food gets to our table or how it was grown. Most of us don’t know the tailor or cobblers that made our clothes and shoes. We can buy mangos in January in Canada that have traveled thousands of miles at the cost of gallons of fossil fuels and emitting pounds of greenhouse gases. We in the West have the privilege of clean drinking water, shelter and food. We are so very, very blessed. Yet we have lost touch with the impact of our actions on our environment, how what we think, feel and do affects all beings, everywhere, including the planet herself. We have lost touch with the cycles of Nature. We feel we can control, outsmart, out-do Nature. And Nature cries louder than ever to be heard: I am here.

What about the current natural disasters? What about global food and shortages? What about the floods, droughts, hurricanes? Like a person fighting a raging fever, building internal heat to shake off an invasive bug, so too, to me, the planet is feverish, trying to shake off the weight we put on her: the physical toxins we emit in the air, water and food, and the etheric toxins we emit in selfish actions and distorted thoughts. We live disconnected, thinking somehow we will find the love we seek by wanting more. Yet we are already love. We are already loved. I hear our mother calling us to stop. Make amends. Practice humility. Listen to one another. Listen to the still, small voice within. Reconnect with the beauty we already are, but have forgotten. We are all her children. We come from her. We sustain her as she sustains us. We go back to her. She is the mother we all share.

We need Nature as much as Nature needs us. For me, this is a call to conscious action. The pain I see in Nature is not something I can passively watch, just like I would not walk away from a person in distress. Like a hit and run, we outpour toxins onto our mother, and keep on going, expecting no consequence for our actions.

The pain I see is a call to action. Our wealth is global health. The vitality in nature gives me the energy to help create a world where all people can experience immersion in that beauty, in that health - everywhere. That is why I created Yoga In the Nightclub – to touch, inspire, expand and evolve; to align myself with Nature. That is why I felt moved to start the Earth Team, a group of volunteers that meet weekly to support evolutionary work. That is what my Positive Possibilities projects are about. That which I see in trees and flowers is that which I tap into in my daily meditation practice. Nature embodies the love we seek. Being connected to such is that which fuels all my actions to support all beings being liberated. How could I turn away from others who are in pain, suffering? I am not free until all beings are free. That is what Nature reminds me. For this, I feel so blessed.

CONNECT TO SERVE

Within each breath is perfection, infinite, still space and pure action. Inhale, allowing the notion of beingness to settle into each cell. Breathing out, allow yourself to be, absence of wanting, in a state of receptivity to this moment and the immensity of it.

As we go deeper, touch the way you are connected to Nature and interconnected to all. In that stillness, what do you find? Do you feel deeper expansion, a settling in, a receptivity to going deeper still? Be with such. Expand. If you feel resistance, allow yourself to settle more and be present with what is. Understand the unwillingness as a habit of deep tension, the mind being like a fist caught in muscular grip. This will settle. Keep breathing and allow things to be.

Go deeper. Imagine how every cell of your body is born on the Earth. There is no separation. By finding the connection to Nature itself, how she not only runs through your veins, but is the very stuff of which our veins are made, do you feel a love, a connection and a call to action? As a child of the Earth, as a steward of the land, do you feel the call to give voice in communion with Nature to help protect the life that sustains all?

Maybe you feel you have gone deep enough. You feel the impulse to get up from your meditation cushion and walk out your door to open an organic cafe or turn your company policies to 100% green. Or maybe you decide to start tithing a portion of all you make to helping Nature, protect wildlife, plant trees, save our water systems. Whatever it is, it is there, a voice that is waiting to be heard by each one of us, and belonging to us all. That voice is Her call, reminding us all that we are not alone.

As I travel to the North Pole in the coming days, I will be updating this blog more regularly with thoughts, reflections and feelings. What an immense journey to the crown of our mother’s body! We are all journeying together.

May all be well. May all be happy. May all be at peace.

In service,

Parvati

Instant Karma

INSTANT KARMA




I value the honest sharing in response to my weekly blog posts. Thank you. I admire your transparency and candor. Through it, I feel we all grow, myself included. I would like to answer a question I received in response to my last blog entry Finding Balance In Relationships: “When do we stay in relationships for our own personal growth and when do we end relationships because the other persons neediness and controlling behaviour has made it toxic for us?”



When Do We End Relationships?



I understand and believe that all that happens in our lives is for our growth. The universe lovingly supports us, be it through situations we find painful or pleasant. Usually we experience pain because we are in resistance in some way. When we are not in resistance, there just is, witnessing, unfolding, I am. In that state of co-creation we are connected and interconnected to all that is.



A relationship that challenges us is an opportunity to go deeper into self-awareness and ask ourselves what we are being asked to learn. In that state of receptivity, we begin to sense what we are learning. When a relationship feels constrictive, it is good to remove ourselves for however long we need, be it for a moment through skilled witnessing, as I described last week, or be it for weeks, months or years to gain some quiet objectivity. In silence, we go within and explore what triggers our constrictive reaction. Then, if it feels expansive to do so, we go back to explore the relationship with that new-found wisdom. Through the practice of witnessing, we can experience release and spaciousness where there once was reactivity. We learn to be present, to be with what is, rather than trying to change this moment to suit our needs.



We can find in most relationships an inner, expansive presence in which to evolve. However, when a relationship begins to feel predominantly constrictive despite one’s effort to practice witnessing, it is time to move on. When we do so, it is good to leave in gratitude for the teachings we have learned, rather than in anger, judgment, resentment, guilt or blame. Inwardly or outwardly we can thank that person, as he or she has been our teacher. As we move on, if there is any doubt that we have not learned all we could, do not worry. The laws of the universe will ensure that we do, either with this same person somewhere in our future or with another, in which very similar patterns exist. In this place of gratitude, we maximize our ability to receive the gifts of each moment along our path.



We Are All Students



I too am learning to practice balance in relationships. Relationships touch root issues and provide perfect fertile soil for growth. Inspired by the candor in the responses to my weekly posts, in this entry, I share a humbling process that keeps the teachings alive and real for me. Please know that each time I post, whether I say so or not, I too am working my own process. I trip. I stumble. I soar. I cry. I laugh. I doubt. I transcend. I believe. I live. I am. We all share this humbling, rich and powerful journey.



Instant Karma



Virtually minutes after I posted my last blog “Finding Balance In Relationships”, I was brought face to face with opportunities to put into practice what I had just shared. I call that “instant karma”. Like a universal, predestined "put your money where your mouth is" law that guarantees we walk the talk, "instant karma" ensures that our actions align with our thoughts and speech. It may come as a gentle feathery tap on the shoulder, or a bold, even life-threatening strike. Instant karma is a wake-up call to help us be righteously aligned with our highest potential. We may miss it, attached to our ways and absorbed in the speed of life. We may see it as we slow down and receive its grace. Maybe willingly we have learned to slow down and expand, or maybe we have been cornered by some unbending circumstances that seem to have conspired for us to learn the lesson without fail. However we come to see it, what I call “instant karma” provides an amazing opportunity to evolve…quickly.



Walk The Talk



I am often shown ways to ensure I am living what I speak, teach and sing about. As a performer and healer in service to awakening I Am consciousness in all beings and in all I do, I feel a deep calling for integrity. As such, I welcome instant karma. In my current show and album “Yoga In the Nightclub”, I step into the role of an Avalonian Goddess Natamba whose wisdom-compassion transforms the desolate Earth into a blissful I Am landscape. More than entertainment, the show is full of active invocations such as in my song "I Am", as well as unseen invocations of energies that converge to create a transformative group experience. If I am to be a channel for multidimensional transformative energy, I feel I must be true to my word, which must align with my actions with complete integrity and transparency. If I am to be of service to awakening I Am in others, I need to be fully aligned with that within myself.



I see instant karma at work whenever I put myself out there in an expanded way, be it in media interviews, live performances, or teaching and healing individuals and groups through YEM: Yoga as Energy Medicine, or just talking to friends. Whenever I am seen by others in expansion, the universe reflects the energy of such back to me to ensures that the expansion is fully integrated in my own body being. The universe compassionately provides an opportunity for me to internalize and embody the expansion that I just shared. If I experience something in an expanded state that I have not yet fully integrated, I will get an instant karma opportunity to integrate the wisdom personally.



The Perpetual Student



So…last week, moments after I posted a list of relationship principles that I choose to live by, I was given a chance to look at my relationship principles. In particular, I had to look at how I express my needs through healthy boundaries and follow through to act upon them. As we all know, it is one thing to think or write about something and another thing to do it. When we align our word, thought and action, we give ourselves a chance to experience the infinite power of multidimensional co-creation. Touching down of sorts by bringing the breadth of thought and inspiration into active form, we bring together the power of expanded, infinite spirit into the finite, temporal body and material form. With sincerity and humility, evolution towards I am happens as we align our thoughts, words and deeds with our soul's expanded voice, which is an expression of the universal.



To ensure I was integrated with my sharing, I had another chance, just moments after my last posting, to put to action what I had just written. This time it was about the gift of people pushing my buttons. One such person in my life who has an uncanny ability to push mine did so right away. Instant karma. I was given an opportunity to voice and act upon what supports me from a place of balanced witnessing. Yet, this time, my witnessing wore thin. I lost my patience and I jumped into the lake along with the button pusher. "Ok", the universe says, "Nice words! Have you fully embodied these teachings?" and I, the perpetual student, reply, "I am open, ready and willing to be completely restructured around the positive possibilities of being me. I lay my ego down and surrender to die the temporal death and be reborn into I Am." Faced with the knee-jerk desire to react in anger, I remembered the story of the master who took the annoying chai boy on his meditation retreat to the mountain caves, the master telling his students that this boy was his teacher. So thanks to instant karma, I am humbly reminded that my button pushers are my teachers and I a perpetual student. How the universe conspires to inspire!





Deeper Still Into Dreams



Clearly, these immediate teachings right after my posting were not enough. That night I had a significant dream. In it, I saw that within the basement of my psyche I have more clearing to do, which involves changing the way I am in the world and the way I treat myself. In the dream I saw unseen layers of my blind spot and was given tools to grow stronger through releasing them.



My Recent Instant Karma Lessons



Thanks to the instant karma teachings after my last blog post, I have been able to think, speak and act with new strength in situations I have found previously challenging. I saw new layers of how my mind still goes towards wanting others to make me happy, relying on their behaviours to be the source of the way I feel.



In my daily meditation practice, I cultivate a place within that is steady no matter what the outside may be. This place can only come when I have released attachments to the external projections of my mind, be it wanting, seeking or pulling on the outside to try to fill me, or pushing things away to keep me feeling ok.

Last week I posted “The Chinese Taoist master Lao Tzu from the sixth century B.C. reminds us: "If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled." In that I got to see myself. Then I came across a similar quote “by chance” from my guru Amma: “Peace and contentment depend entirely on the mind not on the outside.” Relying on others to make me happy would be like relying on the wind to keep me steady. Then I asked, what is steady? Even aligning ourselves to the rhythms of the Earth is a non-constant, as it too fluxes with radiant sunny days and devastating Tsunamis. Is it then not only the quiet, immense and perfect expanse of this moment, pure consciousness arising, upon which I can rest? And do I rest, or do I dissolve there? It seems in the dissolving, in that death, there is true life and an eternal constant. I know that I wish to make others happy, because it brings me great joy to see others smile. I expand when others do. We all win. Yet sometimes, there is selfishness there. In what seems like giving, the sneaky ego can in fact be trying to get... get approval, get attention, get temporary connection, get a wanting fix to keep the voice of loneliness at bay, ever for just a moment, until it rises again. When I meet those with an insatiable appetite to take, I am reminded that I too am in the picture, my voice, my space, that inner flow which is no less or greater than the another. My “I AM” voice within tells me when it is enough, when I feel I have given enough.



When we take that leap to try something new and not chase the person who is leaving us because we want their approval, or wish for their love, but rather pause and wait, breathe and be, there is a vast space that opens beyond the pain of constriction, of holding onto old patterns, beyond the fear of being alone, left helpless in this big world. In that space, we find a new life, a freedom from limiting beliefs, a renewed vitality, and a field of possibility. We also find that we are alone.



For the faint of heart and for those new to the path, the aloneness can teeter into feelings of abandon and loneliness based on wanting and a fundamental disbelief in our own innate beauty and ability, capability to be here, to be now, to be interconnected in this moment. For those who at that juncture wobble into incapability and constricted emotions, a new opportunity will return to once again give them the chance to release the holding of old patters.



For those who welcome the aloneness, we find tremendous strength and renewal. In that aloneness, everything is. There is the space to be who one is without interference. There is the place of possibility to connect with another without losing oneself. In the aloneness we are not in any way severed from anything but majestically and richly interconnected to all. In that aloneness we are more "with" than without. In that place of aloneness, we can touch our own place of enough. Aloneness does not need to exist in physical solitude, thought it may. Aloneness exists in the contented completeness within the infinite Self that is everything, everywhere.



Instant karma highlighted these things for me this week. For this, I feel grateful.



Beginner’s Mind



It is healthy to be in a place of renewed beginner mind, ideally, constantly. This really helps us receive the teachings of instant karma, especially after the ego can creep in when we have put ourselves out there in an expanded way. The universe immediately comes swooping in to give us a chance to grow beyond ego. In this way we learn best when we are humbly open and receptive to this moment and all it brings. Even that which we feel we already know becomes new and fresh. There are always deeper teachings and richness that may be revealed to us.



Take The Instant Karma Challenge



So in the coming week, I invite all who read this post to take the instant karma challenge. Notice when you say something wise or do something new or think something inspiring. See what immediately follows. Do you see the universe reflected back to you? Do you see the opportunity to align to what you think, say and do? What are you learning?



Instant karma is such a loving gift. Open to it. Thank the universe and willingly receive. To me this is part of the co-creative dialogue we all have with the Universe at all times, whether we are aware of it or not. What comes back to us is a reflection of what we put out. What comes back, be it pleasant or not, is the universe caring for us, giving us all we need to grow. There are no mistakes. All that occurs is perfection, teaching me how to live rooted in I am and return to the One. And, yes true to my word, I will soon write about what that means to me, as promised in response to a posted request a few weeks back. I have not forgotten.



May all beings be free. May all beings be happy. May all beings be well. May all beings be at peace. Lokah Samastha Sukhinoh Bhavanthu.



Jai Ma,

Parvati

Finding Balance in Relationships: Challenging Your Core Beliefs

Finding Balance in Relationships: Challenging Your Core Beliefs

Why Relationships

Unless we live in a total isolated vacuum, we encounter relationships. We have relationships with everything, be it friends, family, spouses, our communities as well as all that exists within nature and the world around us. We also have the very important relationship with our own self, which from a spiritual perspective sets the foundation for the way we interact in all our relationships.

As an extension of my last blog, I would like to go a bit deeper into understanding relationships, in particular, looking at how to find balance in relationships. Likely we all have experienced at some point or another feeling unheard or unloved, or we have found ourselves in power struggles with another. Sometimes painful relationships can become life patterns, revisiting the same scenarios again and again, yet we do not know how to get out of them. We want change but we are not sure where to begin. Most often we try to change the other person into who we want them to be, rather than witnessing them as they are. Or perhaps we get fed up with them not changing, so we try to find the “right” person who will better fit our desires. Yet often the very same unconscious forces that got us into those initial relationships still drive our decisions, so our relationships may continue in a similar manner. Meanwhile, deep within, a still, quiet voice may be trying to tell us through our dreams, or the rising of painful emotions or through health issues, that our lives are not in balance with our true potential.

Relationships themselves are an abundant source of learning, when we understand what we are doing in them. When we see relationships as a gift and opportunity to learn to truly love and for enriched personal growth, we can evolve deeply and quickly. By interacting with others and sharing the gift of this moment, by being open and receptive to meet the other as they are, we live enrich our lives. The Chinese Taoist master Lao Tzu from the sixth century B.C. reminds us: "If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled." Yogis, sages and spiritual masters tell us to look within to find lasting joy. So we know that the key to finding balance in relationships starts from finding balance in our relationship to our selves. Jesus advised people to treat others the way they wish to be treated. We could also say, we tend to treat others the way we treat ourselves. All that we experience in our life is a reflection of our own inner experience. The more balance we have within, the more balance we experience without.

In order to find balance in relationships, we need to become conscious of what really is driving our choices. In order get conscious, we need to accept that life is not a random series of circumstances that are passively happening to us, but that what we experience is a reflection of our deeper beliefs and past karmic tendencies. We are co-creating our reality. If we want our relationships to change, our inner dialogue and unconscious beliefs that sculpt our life choices must change. By getting to know who we are through meditation and spiritual practices, we learn to transform our unconscious belief patterns and projected perceptions so that we may receive the moment with unattached clarity. The call to be responsible for all that happens in our lives as a reflection of our own state of consciousness asks us to open to life and participate fully as who we are. Why? Because we can. All that tells us that we are not capable is illusion. This is an act of spiritual sobriety that dissolves the tendency to feel disconnected from life and invokes the expression of our inner most magnificent Self.

In my last blog, I shared how I choose to look at relationships that push my buttons. In every circumstance, we have an opportunity to learn and grow by seeing all as a reflection in our own inner dialogue. When we experience relationship patterns that violate us, for example, we know that at some level, we believe that relationships violate. When we step back, we rationally know that a violating relationship is not healthy. But we create circumstances that reflect the way we believe relationships to be. We likely have experienced violation in the past, this lifetime or other, so we repeat the same pattern until we wake up and choose otherwise. We create what we know because we believe that to be real. And we may be trying to heal past wounds through recreating similar circumstances in which we can grow. As we transform the way we experience the moment by receiving it and being present, we have greater choice and possibility.

In an ultimate sense, we are not able to understand the full energy exchange in any given situation until we are enlightened. We are not yet all seeing and all knowing. What goes on in the unseen world at the level of karma remains a mystery for most of us. For us to find balance then in relationship, we must go within and look at what our core beliefs are about relationships. Do we truly feel that we can be loved? Do we sincerely feel that love exists? Maybe consciously we do, but deeper, maybe we do not feel we deserve to be loved. As we go deeper within and find the distorted stories in our psyche, we can begin to rewrite our journey and make different choices. We have guideposts, clues, along the path of self-awakening. We learn to support what feels expansive within and release that which feels constrictive. When we explore our relationships from that vantage point, we can see that expansion supports our evolution, and constriction keeps us in some way in a state of disconnection and suffering.

Understanding Core Beliefs

Everyone’s core beliefs are different, depending on our unique journey. Each one of us will find balance in our relationships in different ways as everyone has an individual soul voice and path. So I encourage you to write out what your core beliefs may be about your relationships. These core beliefs are driving your thoughts, choices and actions. These are creating your reality.

I have done the following exercise in different ways over the years, because I keep finding new things about myself within it. Find a quiet place and set aside about 20-30minutes of time. Have a computer or pen and paper handy. With the intention to be transparently honest with yourself about what you deeply believe about these topics, ask yourself the following questions:

1)     What do I believe about myself?

2)     What do I believe about others?

3)     What do I believe about women?

4)     What do I believe about men?

5)     What do I believe about intimate relationships?

6)     Do I believe I can find a life partner? How come?

7)     What do I believe about my job?

8)     What do I believe about my career path?

9)     What do I believe about being fulfilled?

Be creative. Be open. Write other questions – like what do I believe about sex, money, fun, etc… if you feel so inspired and keep diving deep. You are like an archeologist on a treasure hunt. Then review. Reread and set this aside. You may do this exercise as often as you can to keep finding new things.

Then take a new piece of paper or open a new document and answer the questions as to what you would like to believe, such as:

1)     What would I like to believe about myself?

2)     What would I like to believe about others?

etc...

Step back and take a look at both sets of answers, what you do believe and what you would like to believe. Are they the same? If they are the same, you likely feel aligned and fulfilled in that area of your life. Well done. If they are not, that is fine. You have room for growth.

My practice shows me that replacing one thought for another does not work over the long term because we need to practice a deeper inner restructuring and release process. We likely are still holding onto the old beliefs, trying to fit new ones over top. So instead, contemplate the gap between the two. That is your growth edge. Allow yourself to expand by releasing the attachments to the existing belief by understanding what it is, and what it creates. When you clearly see that what you believe is creating something that brings you suffering, you no longer choose to give it power, so you naturally and spontaneously release. In that moment of letting go, there is space in which the new belief can take root. A way to get to understand fully a core belief that does not serve our greatest good is to challenge it. If you believe for example that love does not exist, you can ask yourself the questions: “Really? Love does not exist? I felt a really open, warm energy that felt like love the other day. It must exist!” By challenging core beliefs that do not serve us, we build lasting inner confidence in our ability to grow. Because we feel the expansion of possibility and capability, letting go and opening to the new becomes that much easier.

Relationship Principles

I have found, no matter what our personal belief system may be, no matter what our unique soul expression may be, all relationships are governed by a few fundamental spiritual principles. To me, they are:

1)     That which I do to myself, I do to all beings.

2)     The way I treat another is the way I treat myself.

3)     When I choose expansion, everybody wins.

4)     When I serve the creative flow, (that which is much greater than my limited ego or will) I support evolution in myself and in all beings.

As perhaps a simple guide, or point of inspiration, I would like to share here that which inspires me to experience balance in my relationships. These are a reflection of how I choose to live. You are welcome to feel inspired to use these or create your own. Remember, you only get what you really, truly want - to live the love you are - when you are dedicated to awakening and following your I AM evolutionary journey. That is the foundation that inspires my list.

1)     Supporting basic needs:

I choose to cultivate relationships that support my basic needs, such as food and shelter. With this foundation, I support and feel supported in my I AM evolution, which supports all beings being rooted in I AM.

2)     Emotional support:

I choose to cultivate relationships where I feel emotionally supported being beautifully and uniquely myself. Through listening and feeling received, I feel there is room for me to express my needs and be heard doing so. There is room to follow my flow and create in my unique way.

3)     Healthy Boundaries:

I choose to cultivate relationships that respect my boundaries. I feel I can be myself. I have the space I need to heal, grow and learn. We respect each other’s needs equally, sharing with kindness.

4)     Cultivating Joy

I choose to cultivate relationships where there is heart, learning to live with compassion for all beings. The heart is like a joy flower. Its very nature is joy just as my essential nature is joy. Sharing from the heart, we are witness to and receive each other’s magnificence.

5)     Having a voice:

I choose to cultivate relationships where everyone has the right to express their needs, feelings, dreams and ideas. I feel heard and respected when I give voice to what I wish to express. My relationships support the right for myself and all beings to have a voice.

6)     To see and be seen:

I choose to cultivate relationships where I am seen as I am, not as another may want me to be. My sight and insights are received and respected. I am supported in clearly seeing that which is.

7)     Supporting evolution

I choose to be in relationships that support my soul’s evolution. By support my soul’s evolution, I support all beings evolving. In this way, my relationships support self-less service to all beings everywhere.

May we all find ourselves cultivating balanced joy, love, service and expansion in all our relationships so that all beings everywhere may be free.

Lokah Samastha Sukshino Bhavantu.

Jai Ma,

Parvati

The Presence of Challenging People In Our Lives

THE PRESENCE OF CHALLENGING PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

We all meet people or experience circumstances in life that we find challenging. How we deal with those situations is a reflection of our rootedness in spiritual teachings. There are people in my life that I find challenging. Some friends have suggested that it seems a strange choice for me to maintain contact with these people, perhaps causing myself undue stress. I see things differently. Rather than seeing these people as doing something “to me” from a place of againstness, I choose to open to the experiences as a way to witness my own reactions, release painful habits, find inner space, and expand to meet the moment.

This story illustrates this well. There once was a great master who was leaving his village to meditate in isolation in the mountains for some time. The master said he would take someone with him to assist the journey. Many of his devoted students hoped that the saint would choose them for the special trip. But to everyone’s surprise, the master chose the most unlikely person in the village to accompany him: the pesky chai boy that ran the local tea stall. Due to his brusque manner and rough actions, the local community found this boy to be a difficult person. As the master and the boy prepared to leave for the trip, the baffled students approached their teacher to better understand his choice. “Master”, they asked, “why did you choose this annoying boy over all of us who have been devoted to you for so many years?” The master smiled and quietly answered: “This boy is my teacher. He teaches me humility, patience and compassion. Through him, I learn to see God everywhere.”

A traditional Tibetan shrine has an offering on it to feed hungry ghosts, the lost, roaming spirits of the universe, unable to meet the riches of this moment. This gesture is practiced as a sober reminder of what we could be, yet where we choose not to go.  When we align with our dharma through understanding righteous action and our soul purpose, we train ourselves to find spacious possibility when faced with dense constriction.

It is a natural, human reaction to experience stress, resistance and constriction when we are faced with people and situations that annoy us and push our buttons. We usually blame or judge another for their behaviour, making ourselves feel separate and even temporarily better than another. We distance ourselves from the circumstance, feeling somehow more clever than even Nature itself. Our ego, for the moment, has had an injection of self-serving, limited power that tells us we are good. Yet soon, we will experience a similar situation with a similarly irritating person and we will need to again, judge, blame and take a similar shot of a temporary ego-high to disconnect from the moment and find relief. Yet no lasting solution has been found to either free us from being in a challenging situation or free us from our buttons being pushed again.

Because we tend to experience life through the lens of our limited ego that only knows to divide, separate and categorize, we are conditioned to see things as happening “to” us until we learn otherwise. When we experience something we feel is bad, we tend to feel against it, as though it were an attack on our very being. We can feel, however unconsciously, that life is punishing us in some way, because we are unloved. These twisted roots of perception run deep in the human psyche. We fight what is rather than seeing the present moment as a consequence of our own karmic tendencies, lovingly offering us all we need to learn to evolve to the next stages in our unique soul journey.

From a yogic perspective, all that we experience is a result of our own state of consciousness. Painful experiences are the fruit of distorted perceptions and our own cloudy consciousness. As we refine our ability to truly perceive through the release of the lens of our ego-mind, our true, natural state, being one with pure consciousness, begins to expand. Actions then arise from clarity, releasing the experience of pain. Rather than our life being a consequence of distortions, which create more distortions, we begin to experience life an expansive opportunity for deeper awakening and joy. With openness and ease, we meet all of life as it is, rather than reacting to situations, seeing them as against us.

Take a moment to find your breath. Perhaps throughout the rush of this day, your awareness of this powerful life pulse has been masked by your attachment to the events of the day. Three deep breaths allows us to once again find inner space and begin to gain more perspective on what we are experiencing. One… deep… breath. Another… deep… breath. One more deep breath. Yes.

Then see if you can remember a situation or person that you found challenging. See if you can see this challenging situation or person from the vantage point that this moment is not happening “to” you. It simply is. Remind yourself that any sense of disconnection, separation from this moment, comes from a distorted sense of reality that only knows how to live through being separate. It continues, the more we feed it. So if you choose to feed it now, that suffering will just keep growing.

Instead, see if you can see this situation as the result of your own past actions. This may feel at first like a thought you want to resist. “What? This situation sucks! If I allow myself to see this as a reflection of my actions, then that would mean I suck!” This is a natural reaction, a way to protect our attachment to our ego and feeling separate. But remember, the notion of separation perpetuates suffering. So it is a good to soften here and let the grip of this kind of reaction loosen and ease.

Again, contemplate that this situation, all that you experience and see, is a result of your past actions. This ultimately is great news. If it is a result of your past, then you were part of co-creating it. Therefore, you can be part of co-creating change. The more alert and open you become, the more able you are to transform this experience of suffering into your natural state of spacious, pure consciousness.

What happens once you begin to expand your sense of awareness, rather than close? You gain greater insight. You see more. You experience more. You can begin to see into what really is. Say you remember an encounter with someone angrily yelling. You notice your immediate reaction to become tense and closed. You see what seems like danger. You want to shut down. Why do you see the angry person as danger? Perhaps they are yelling at you. This does not feel good, so you want to leave. Leaving is an option, but first, let us meet this moment.

You go deeper, and you see that this person yelling makes you feel unloved. It is this feeling unloved that signaled danger. We have primal wiring that tells us that we are dependent on our parents love to sustain us. We also have primal wiring that tells us to run when we meet a lion in the jungle. But is either of these situations true in this moment? Is this person a dangerous lion threatening our existence? Is this person a parent upon whom we are dependent? Is this person the source of love or of life? Likely this person is not a lion. So we can check that one off. If we go deeper, we see that no one person is the source of our love, no matter how close we may be to that person. Love comes from all, through all, in all. It is everywhere, always, even in the midst of an angry, emotional storm. Go deeper and you will find connection to that love that is so much bigger than this one, temporary experience. Maintain this big picture.

Breathing, allow tension to soften. More rooted in the big picture, you open more to also notice how the angry person is emitting more than anger, but deep, painful feelings. You know painful feelings. You can relate. No longer something foreign that you need to eject, you can understand more where this person is at and why they may be reacting this way. At the very least, you can see pain, and you understand the helpless feeling when you are faced with overwhelming pain. Within the sphere of mindful witnessing, you feel closer, less separate from what is. You have touched the heart, human connection.

Looking closer, you see how tense this person’s body has become. You see how much pain they are in. You see the disconnected state they are in. You then begin to realize that if you disconnect and react to their anger, you are adding fuel to a painful fire. You realize that would not cease the pain but only create more pain. Like reacting to a drowning person by jumping in with them, you would be two drowning people.

Going deeper, you see that this person’s expression of pain is a call for love. In this moment, this person does not feel connected to love. This person does not feel loved. You know this place. You know this pain. You also know that you are not the source of their love, just as they are not the source of yours. Quietly, you watch, breathing, feeling spacious. Quietly you witness this push-pull within them, this grasping at the notion of not being loved, and the pain it causes. You understand. You witness. You feel connected. But you are on the shore, rooted in the dharma of witness consciousness.

A feeling of spacious compassion arises, and you are present. You are not the source of love, but by being present, you can rest in the source of love, pure consciousness arising. When one is attached to the feeling of personal lack, the way one feels when they are taken over by such active pain, the greatest healing you can offer is presence. No one can fill the hole of deep pain, but the loving consciousness found in the energy of life itself can heal it. As you choose to rest here, you offer the other the greatest healing possible. You are a portal for transformation. You rest in who you are. You offer a quiet, humble reminder of what is. It is up to the other to choose to step out of the whirlwind they are creating and open. Presence is the healing you bring. By acting consciously, not only do you help to release the tendency to meet painful situations such as these that are the result of your own cloudy conscious behaviour from the past, but also you help to ease suffering in another by not adding unconscious fuel to their unconscious fire. In this, everyone wins.

Even broader still, by meeting this moment as it is, you send out a deep state of receptivity for peace and harmony that goes beyond this one incident. You signal to the universe that you are open, ready and willing to release all limited states of consciousness in you that perpetuate these kinds of painful situations. By learning to be present when faced with challenging people, you become a peaceful warrior, and a transformative alchemist of light and love in the midst of pain.

Practicing presence will ease most challenging situations. It is essential, however, to note that being present does not mean being roadkill, passively taking on hurtful behaviour. If you find that, despite your being present, another’s painful expressions continues, leaving the situation may be expansive. No one benefits if you find yourself exhausted or energetically depleted by a challenging circumstance. Sometimes people can become so attached to pain they can be addicted to drama and the erroneous perception of being disconnected. When faced with such deep pain, being present may lead us to removing ourselves from the immediate vicinity of these people, until they have become more balanced. There is no benefit to anyone when we sacrifice our own well-being to “help” another. This is no help at all. When we lose consciousness of our inner spaciousness in the moment, we too are in pain. We have become like the rescuer on the shore who has jumped in to save the person, jeopardizing our own safety. One must practice staying present.

In my life, meeting challenging experiences with presence is a test of my spiritual progress. Though I don’t welcome the painful behaviour in people in my life that can push my buttons, I do practice receiving the moment just as it is. When I do that, I find that there is room within this moment for it all: my feelings, my response and understand the other. I can see in the other, just like on the Tibetan shrine, the hungry ghost howling and human pain expressed. I know these places in myself. Through understanding our similar human tendencies, separation subsides. I rest within a broad knowing that all that is is held within a vast expanse of pure consciousness. And all this is teaching me, showing me how to evolve. Maintaining that big picture is essential to being present when faced with challenging people or circumstances. Like being around a drowning person, we need to maintain both feet solidly on the shore, lest we get pulled in. That shore is the rootedness of the teachings that show us that all human emotions and distorted states of consciousness are temporary. Any kind of perceived attack or sense of abandonment is an illusion. All that is in this present moment is absolute perfection. Rooted in this knowing, witnessing and true service can take place. In this state, I can see that deep aggregates from the human psyche have come to the surface to be released, both in the other, and in myself. The gift of presence, in all circumstances, offers all beings an opportunity to find lasting freedom from the painful cycle of suffering.

May all beings everywhere be free.

Lokah samastha sukhino bhavantu.

Jai Ma,

Parvati